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[[Image:Redneck.jpg|thumb|200px|Your [[typical]] Southern [[Homosexual|Redneck]].]]
{{spoiler| COUNTRY MUSIC IS SLOWLY BECOMING POP MUSIC}}
[[Image:Redneck.jpg|thumb|200px|Your [[typical]] Southern [[Homosexuality|Redneck]].]]
[[Image:Rednecks.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Note the condition of the truck, the man on the left bending over for anal sex, and the dirty clothes everyone is wearing.]]
[[Image:Rednecks.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Note the condition of the truck, the man on the left bending over for anal sex, and the dirty clothes everyone is wearing.]]
[[Image:Redneck dream catcer.jpg|thumb|200px|Redneck Dream Catcher]]
[[Image:Redneck dream catcer.jpg|thumb|200px|Redneck Dream Catcher]]
[[File:Rednick mind.jpg|thumb|200px|herp DeRp BURP]]
[[File:Rednick mind.jpg|thumb|200px|herp DeRp BURP]]
{{spoiler|country music is retarded and made by losers!!!!!}}


A '''redneck''', also known as a '''hillbilly''', or '''hillnigger''', is a [[guns|heavily armed]] [[conservative]] [[white]] [[Gentlemen|gentleman]], from the Southern and Midwestern part of [[America]], known as the Bible Belt. They are also the [[Jews|scum of the Earth]]. They are so prevalent that most outsiders think that this is what all Americans are like, much like how many Americans think all Brits are members of the upper class. When subjected to the company of a [[mundane|normal]] human being, i.e. anyone who can read, or a [[nigger]], they become highly agitated, and [[domestic violence|beat their wives]]. Their society is [[poor|illiterate]], and their main cultural activities include [[meth|finding creative uses for their bathtubs]], [[obesity|improving their figures]] through [[alcohol|drinking]], and [[racism|providing insightful viewpoints on the role of diversity in America today]]. Wannabe rednecks are the worst. Merely coming in contact with one [[IRL]] can turn you homosexual and give you an irresistible urge to display the [[confederate]] flag on anything you see.
A '''redneck''', also known as a '''hillbilly''', or '''hillnigger''', is a [[guns|heavily armed]] [[conservative]] [[white]] [[Gentlemen|gentleman]], from the Southern and Midwestern part of [[America]], known as the Bible Belt. They are also the [[Jews|scum of the Earth]]. They are so prevalent that most outsiders think that this is what all Americans are like, much like how many Americans think all Brits are members of the upper class. When subjected to the company of a [[mundane|normal]] human being, i.e. anyone who can read, or a [[nigger]], they become highly agitated, and [[domestic violence|beat their wives]]. Their society is [[poor|illiterate]], and their main cultural activities include [[meth|finding creative uses for their bathtubs]], [[obesity|improving their figures]] through [[alcohol|drinking]], and [[racism|providing insightful viewpoints on the role of diversity in America today]]. Wannabe rednecks are the worst. Merely coming in contact with one [[IRL]] can turn you homosexual and give you an irresistible urge to display the [[confederate]] flag on anything you see.
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You can learn more about redneck behavior from watching the movie "Deliverance."
You can learn more about redneck behavior from watching the movie "Deliverance."
<br>
__TOC__
<br>


==Redneck Sports==
== Sports ==


Rednecks watch sports frequently, but never actually play any sports, as this would ruin the ideal redneck body type. Their sports of choice include drinking, chewing tobacco,[[NASCAR]], drinking, and [[incest]]. Rednecks play American football, which is similar to [[Europe]]an rugby, except that it is played by [[negro|gorillas]] and [[retards]]. Perhaps the most popular activity among Rednecks are [[drugs|Oxycontin eating contests]]. Rednecks also enjoy creative alternative sports, as seen here [http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0706/2603_i65_sniper_myspace.html]
Rednecks watch sports frequently, but never actually play any sports, as this would ruin the ideal redneck body type. Their sports of choice include drinking, chewing tobacco,[[NASCAR]], drinking, and [[incest]]. Rednecks play American football, which is similar to [[Europe]]an rugby, except that it is played by [[negro|gorillas]] and [[retards]]. Perhaps the most popular activity among Rednecks are [[drugs|Oxycontin eating contests]]. Rednecks also enjoy creative alternative sports, as seen here [http://www.crimelibrary.com/news/original/0706/2603_i65_sniper_myspace.html]
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<center><youtube>yj4LnfkdJDM</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>yj4LnfkdJDM</youtube></center>


==Rednecks and motor sports==
=== Motor sports ===


Unlike most northerners whom are raised around normal things such as football, baseball, hockey, basketball, etc. Hillbillies grow up watching NASCAR, dirt bike racing, NHRA drag racing, tractor pulls, monster trucks, boat racing, and any kind of sporting event which involves some type of motorized vehicle. Rednecks have an unexplained urge to drive their rusted out 4 wheel drive trucks by driving through pits of mud where they commonly bathe, this is commonly referred to them as "Muddin'." Their cultural fascination with motor sports is believed to be because most of them were born in the back seats of automobiles, or in the beds of [[truck|pickup trucks]], to unwed, teenage mothers whom were taking [[Opioids|OxyContin]] and [[Benzos|Xanax]] during their pregnancy. With their fathers actually being their cousins, and often distantly related to some vague NASCAR driver or some other auto-racing "athlete."
Unlike most northerners whom are raised around normal things such as football, baseball, hockey, basketball, etc. Hillbillies grow up watching NASCAR, dirt bike racing, NHRA drag racing, tractor pulls, monster trucks, boat racing, and any kind of sporting event which involves some type of motorized vehicle. Rednecks have an unexplained urge to drive their rusted out 4 wheel drive trucks by driving through pits of mud where they commonly bathe, this is commonly referred to them as "Muddin'." Their cultural fascination with motor sports is believed to be because most of them were born in the back seats of automobiles, or in the beds of [[truck|pickup trucks]], to unwed, teenage mothers whom were taking [[Opioids|OxyContin]] and [[Benzos|Xanax]] during their pregnancy. With their fathers actually being their cousins, and often distantly related to some vague NASCAR driver or some other auto-racing "athlete."
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Update: It has been recently discovered that the reason they watch motorized sports is because most of them are fat, and see motorized sports as a way to be an athlete without actually exercising.
Update: It has been recently discovered that the reason they watch motorized sports is because most of them are fat, and see motorized sports as a way to be an athlete without actually exercising.


==Redneck Slang==
=== The Fascination with Hunting ===
 
Rednecks hunt in [[hunting|hunting clubs]] located in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. This allows the typical redneck male increased freedom to engage in [[gay|group sex with other men]] at the clubhouse and out in the wild with the animals, much like [[furries]].  Most rednecks hunt for the imaginary shock value of this now [[old|outdated]] pastime. Some however must hunt for their food because the government has cruelly deprived them of their driver's licenses for driving [[drunk|creatively]], and the local Winn-Dixie just closed the meat department due to [[aids]].
 
== Slang ==
 
[[Image:Redneckspellcheck.jpg|thumb|Rednecks made Microsoft Words.]]
[[Image:Redneckspellcheck.jpg|thumb|Rednecks made Microsoft Words.]]
[[Image:Light-beer-please.jpg|thumb|175px|GIT R DOOOOOOOOONE.]]
[[Image:Light-beer-please.jpg|thumb|175px|GIT R DOOOOOOOOONE.]]
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Loosely translated, this means "Did you receive the item which you ordered from the catalog?" A catalog is a form of [[old media]]. It is similar to [[eBay]], but printed on paper and sent to everybody's house through the mail, another form of old media. Also, a catalog does not have the possibility of a bidding war where the price of an item escalated to [[over 9000]] times its actual value and could be bought by nobody. They also treat the word "done" as a modal verb, putting it in front of every conjugation, ex. "I done did good". They also use "y'all" (you all) in every sentence.
Loosely translated, this means "Did you receive the item which you ordered from the catalog?" A catalog is a form of [[old media]]. It is similar to [[eBay]], but printed on paper and sent to everybody's house through the mail, another form of old media. Also, a catalog does not have the possibility of a bidding war where the price of an item escalated to [[over 9000]] times its actual value and could be bought by nobody. They also treat the word "done" as a modal verb, putting it in front of every conjugation, ex. "I done did good". They also use "y'all" (you all) in every sentence.


===Common Redneck Sayings and Translation===
=== Common Sayings and Translation ===
 
*'''squeel like a pig''' = youtube search these from the clip from the film ''Deliverance'' OR, [[Yes|if you are an uncultured faggot]], just watch [[South Park|"The China Probrem."]]
*'''squeel like a pig''' = youtube search these from the clip from the film ''Deliverance'' OR, [[Yes|if you are an uncultured faggot]], just watch [[South Park|"The China Probrem."]]
*'''Makin da laf durn''' = We are guiding our automotive vehicle to the left.
*'''Makin da laf durn''' = We are guiding our automotive vehicle to the left.
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*'''HOW BOUT DEM DAWGZ!''' = Might I remind you of the University of Georgia's football team, the Georgia Bulldogs? (and the university of washington calls themselves the dawgs, too. self-explanatory)
*'''HOW BOUT DEM DAWGZ!''' = Might I remind you of the University of Georgia's football team, the Georgia Bulldogs? (and the university of washington calls themselves the dawgs, too. self-explanatory)
*'''WEEEEEEE-HOOOOOOOO!''' = I believe alchoholic beverages vastly enhance the entertainment gathered from this televised racing event.
*'''WEEEEEEE-HOOOOOOOO!''' = I believe alchoholic beverages vastly enhance the entertainment gathered from this televised racing event.
*'''Gaddang ah gotta cut mahh grayass!''' = I can no longer access my automobile.
*'''Gahddang ah gotta cut mahh grayass!''' = I can no longer access my automobile.
*'''YER DUN GONE TO THEM THERE MRVER THEETRES THAR DUN DONTOUN?''' = Excuse me, but are you going to go to the cinematic theaters for motion picture viewing that is located in the southermost part of this fair city?
*'''YER DUN GONE TO THEM THERE MRVER THEETRES THAR DUN DONTOUN?''' = Excuse me, but are you going to go to the cinematic theaters for motion picture viewing that is located in the southermost part of this fair city?
*'''WOWOWWEE IDUN FOUN A C'GGY IN MAH ASSCRACK WOOOWEEE!!''' = By some strange circumstance, I have found a cigarette in the divide of my buttocks
*'''WOWOWWEE IDUN FOUN A C'GGY IN MAH ASSCRACK WOOOWEEE!!''' = By some strange circumstance, I have found a cigarette in the divide of my buttocks
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*'''WHO DAT SAY DAT WE CAN'T WIN? WHO DAT? WHO DAT?''' You've been underestimating the New Orleans Saints because they won the Superbowl.
*'''WHO DAT SAY DAT WE CAN'T WIN? WHO DAT? WHO DAT?''' You've been underestimating the New Orleans Saints because they won the Superbowl.
*'''HEAVEN SURE IS PRETTY!!''' = shoot the niggers
*'''HEAVEN SURE IS PRETTY!!''' = shoot the niggers
*'''DERKA-DUR!!!''' = Damn, how did I lose my job to this [[mexican]], [[FML]].
*'''DERKA-DUR!!!''' = Damn, how did I lose my job to this [[Spics|Mexican]]? [[Fuck My Life|Fuck my life]].
*'''MA SHED GAW-BOO''' = My personal storage facility has exploded due to the production of illegal substances.
*'''MA SHED GAW-BOO''' = My personal storage facility has exploded due to the production of illegal substances.
*'''''Theurrr tuuk ur jubz''''' = The steel mill is moving to mexico.
*'''''Theurrr tuuk ur jubz''''' = The steel mill is moving to [[Mexico]].
 
*'''[[Team Fortress 2|WOOWIE! MAYUKIN' BAYUKIN!]]''' = Getting my job done quickly.
==Redneck Mating==
*'''BO' HOWDIH!''' = [[Homosexuality|That shit was hot, man.]]
[[Image:Redneckgalore.jpg|thumb|175px|A typical redneck, she'll only have sex with her brother...and her uncle]]
[[Image:redneckfag.jpg|thumb|right|175px|[[Fail|Your average redneck Myspace profile]].]]
[[Image:Redneckoceanliner.jpg|thumb|175px|A redneck ocean liner.]]
''Main article: [[Incest|Redneck Mating]].


== Mating ==
{{main|Incest}}
[[Image:Redneckgalore.jpg|thumb|150px|A typical redneck, she'll only have sex with her brother...and her uncle]]
Since many rednecks come from small country towns in the US, there is a limited pool of eligible people to [[secks|mate]] with. Many rednecks thus marry their [[incest|sibling or their cousin]]. This results in more retarded children, who grow up to be rednecks and do likewise.  There seems to be no way to break this vicious cycle.  This population expansion in the redneck communities results in the [[Republican]]s winning elections.
Since many rednecks come from small country towns in the US, there is a limited pool of eligible people to [[secks|mate]] with. Many rednecks thus marry their [[incest|sibling or their cousin]]. This results in more retarded children, who grow up to be rednecks and do likewise.  There seems to be no way to break this vicious cycle.  This population expansion in the redneck communities results in the [[Republican]]s winning elections.


Also note that redneck men only like redneck girls and will shit bricks if their girlfriend has a mind. She belongs in the kitchen, damnit. This usually leads to them being attracted to buck-toothed ugly shits who will get on their knees whenever Papa tells her to.
Also note that redneck men only like redneck girls and will shit bricks if their girlfriend has a mind. She belongs in the kitchen, damnit. This usually leads to them being attracted to buck-toothed ugly shits who will get on their knees whenever Papa tells her to.


=== Fetish ===
There has been a new fetish arising, and that is the redneck fetish.  One needs to be a seriously [[sick fuck|disturbed individual]] to have said fetish, and if you find this turns you on, you should seek [[an hero|immediate help]].
{{clear}}
== How do I know if I'm a redneck? ==
== How do I know if I'm a redneck? ==
 
[[File:Redneck fails at anti-redneck strategy.jpg|thumb|200px|Redneck camouflage]]
[[Image:redneckfag.jpg|thumb|right|175px|[[Fail|Your average redneck Myspace profile]].]]
[[Image:Redneckoceanliner.jpg|thumb|175px|A redneck ocean liner.]]
[[Image:Longseet.png|thumb|175px|Longseet wishes he can send you bullets through [[Tinychat]].]]
[[Image:Longseet.png|thumb|175px|Longseet wishes he can send you bullets through [[Tinychat]].]]


Don't worry, the fact that you are able to access the Internet means that you are most likely not a redneck. Also, in order to be a redneck, you must first possess several of the following items:
Don't worry, the fact that you are able to access the Internet means that you are most likely not a redneck. Also, in order to be a redneck, you must first possess several of the following items:


*A rusty wheelbarrow  
* If you were able to read what was above you're overqualified, sorry
*A pickup truck with jacked up 10 foot suspension.
* A rusty wheelbarrow  
*A "[[Dixie]]" horn.
* A pickup truck with jacked up 10 foot suspension.
*A banjo
* A "[[Dixie]]" horn.
*More than one 12 Gauge shotgun
* A banjo
*10 Hunting dogs trained to kill [[niggers]] and [[beaners]] on command.
* More than one 12 Gauge shotgun
*An AK47
* 10 Hunting dogs trained to kill [[niggers]] and [[beaners]] on command.
*4 foot tall CB whip antenna on your truck, during and after [[hunting]] season.
* An AK47
*A couch on your lawn.
* 4 foot tall CB whip antenna on your truck, during and after [[hunting]] season.
*Miscellaneous car parts in your overgrown yard.
* A couch on your lawn.
*At least one car on cinder blocks.
* Miscellaneous car parts in your overgrown yard.
*A tractor, especially if you don't live on a farm.
* At least one car on cinder blocks.
*A beagle or collection of miscellaneous dogs underneath your trailer.
* A tractor, especially if you don't live on a farm.
*A collection of Elvis 45's.
* A beagle or collection of miscellaneous dogs underneath your trailer.
*A Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt.
* A collection of Elvis 45's.
*A hatred of [[niggers]], jews, [[azn|orientals]] and [[Islam|towelheads]] because they keep bringing the white man down.
* A Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt.
*A flannel shirt.
* A hatred of [[niggers]], jews, [[azn|orientals]] and [[Islam|towelheads]] because they keep bringing the white man down.
*A "The South Shall Rise Again" bumper sticker and/or a confederate flag vinyl sticker covering your back windows on the above mentioned truck.
* A flannel shirt.
*A turkey fryer.
* A "The South Shall Rise Again" bumper sticker and/or a confederate flag vinyl sticker covering your back windows on the above mentioned truck.
*A Membership Card to Bass Pro Shops. Extra points if you only buy shitty baseball caps and T-Shirts with it.
* A turkey fryer.
*A collection of empty dipping tobacco cans. Extra points if it's Copenhagen and not that pussy-ass flavored Skoal shit.
* A Membership Card to Bass Pro Shops. Extra points if you only buy shitty baseball caps and T-Shirts with it.
*Missing or rotting teeth from consuming ungodly amounts of <s>tobacco</s> meth.
* A collection of empty dipping tobacco cans. Extra points if it's Copenhagen and not that pussy-ass flavored Skoal shit.
*Six toes, due to rampant inbreeding.
* Missing or rotting teeth from consuming ungodly amounts of <s>tobacco</s> meth.
*If you understand what the hell Larry the cable guy is actually saying. Extra points if you actually find him funny.
* Six toes, due to rampant inbreeding.
*If you associate the word [[fag]] with Jeff Gordon.
* If you understand what the hell Larry the cable guy is actually saying. Extra points if you actually find him funny.
*A confederate flag hanging off the porch of your trailer.  
* If you associate the word [[fag]] with Jeff Gordon. Or talk about raping his mother.  
*An attraction to your sister.
* A confederate flag hanging off the porch of your trailer.  
*A shiny new car while your house looks like utter [[shit]].
* An attraction to your sister.
*At least one Git-R-Done t-shirt; bonus points if you cut the sleeves off.
* A shiny new car while your house looks like utter [[shit]].
*[[At least 100]] no trespassing/keep out signs nailed all over your bajillion acre land.
* At least one Git-R-Done t-shirt; bonus points if you cut the sleeves off.
*Any obnoxious $7 singing toy from [[Walmart]] mounted on your wall.
* [[At least 100]] no trespassing/keep out signs nailed all over your bajillion acre land.
*[[Guns]].
* Any obnoxious $7 singing toy from [[Walmart]] mounted on your wall.
*At least one country album and you actually listen to it. Bonus points if you have a bluegrass album.
* [[Guns]].
*Empty cans of cheap beer that is used as the foundation of your trailer.
* At least one country album and you actually listen to it. Bonus points if you have a bluegrass album.
*A [[fat|beer belly]]
* Empty cans of cheap beer that is used as the foundation of your trailer.
*A [[Mullet]]
* A [[fat|beer belly]]
 
* A [[Mullet]]
* Being part of the [[NRA]]
* Acting like every day is the fourth of July
* Thinking Ronald Reagan was the greatest president [[evar]]
* Favorite movies are ''Dirty Harry'', ''Death Wish'' or ''Red Dawn'' (or all three really; [[obvious|rednecks can't count]]) 
* Watching [[Faux News|Fox News]]
* Having a shit load of Duck Dynasty merchandise
* Believing everything [[Rush Limbaugh]], [[Michael Savage]] or [[Alex Jones]] says
* [[Conservapedia| Still being butthurt over the Scopes Trial]]
* Thinks NASCAR is a real sport
* Thinks the WWE is real
* Being a fan of the <s>Dallas Cowboys, Pittsburgh Steelers or Philadelphia Eagles </s> Nevermind, the NFL pissed off their redneck fans.
* You find [[Unfunny|Tim Allen]] [[No|funny]]. <s>Bonus points if you went apeshit after his pos "sitcom" ''Last Man Standing'' was [[final solution|canned]]</s> Nevermind, it's back
* You funded the Ernest movies


The gentleman below holds the standing record as the dumbest redneck that has ever existed. Note that he sympathizes with [[furries]], but hates [[Arabs]]:
The gentleman below holds the standing record as the dumbest redneck that has ever existed. Note that he sympathizes with [[furries]], but hates [[Arabs]]:
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</center>
</center>


== Redneck TV ==
== TV ==


<center>
<center>
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|<youtube>aHKwmwDQNjA</youtube>
|<youtube>aHKwmwDQNjA</youtube>
|<youtube>ngQgGqeCKMg</youtube>
|<youtube>ngQgGqeCKMg</youtube>
|<youtube>iJNZCobhVZU</youtube>
}}
}}
</center>
</center>
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{{center|<youtube>f149NBj88vY</youtube>}}
{{center|<youtube>f149NBj88vY</youtube>}}


== The Fascination with Hunting ==
== Galleries ==
 
Rednecks hunt in [[hunting|hunting clubs]] located in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. This allows the typical redneck male increased freedom to engage in [[gay|group sex with other men]] at the clubhouse and out in the wild with the animals, much like [[furries]].  Most rednecks hunt for the imaginary shock value of this now [[old|outdated]] pastime. Some however must hunt for their food because the government has cruelly deprived them of their driver's licenses for driving [[drunk|creatively]], and the local Winn-Dixie just closed the meat department due to [[aids]].
 
 
== Redneck fetish ==
There has been a new fetish arising, and that is the redneck fetish.  One needs to be a seriously [[sick fuck|disturbed individual]] to have said fetish, and if you find this turns you on, you should seek [[an hero|immediate help]].


==Gallery==
{{Collapsegallery|General|cg0|center|<gallery>
<center>
<gallery>
File:Confederate-battle-flag.jpg|THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!1!11!1
File:Confederate-battle-flag.jpg|THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!1!11!1
File:Confederate white flag.jpg
File:Confederate white flag.jpg
File:Rednecks were here.png|Rednecks were here
File:Rednecks were here.png|Rednecks were here
File:Good_point.png|good way to explain the confederates
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Redneck-gun.jpg|[[ALL CAPS|I CAN SHOOT DOWN THAT ANNOYING ASS TRAFFIC HELICOPTER THAT ALWAYS WAKES US UP NOW.]]
Image:Redneck-gun.jpg|[[ALL CAPS|I CAN SHOOT DOWN THAT ANNOYING ASS TRAFFIC HELICOPTER THAT ALWAYS WAKES US UP NOW.]]
Image:Newport3.jpg|A prime example of what occurs when a redneck is allowed into society; note the feigned education, "rustic" tone, and most importantly, the colloquial stature.
Image:Newport3.jpg|A prime example of what occurs when a redneck is allowed into society; note the feigned education, "rustic" tone, and most importantly, the colloquial stature.
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Image:RedneckTruck.jpg|Typical redneck transportation. Note the patriotism for a country that doesn't exist
Image:RedneckTruck.jpg|Typical redneck transportation. Note the patriotism for a country that doesn't exist
Image:Redneckbeutyqueen.jpg
Image:Redneckbeutyqueen.jpg
File:Redneck Incest CCC.jpg
Image:Ernestcommitsharikari.jpg|Disney's version of a redneck
Image:Ernestcommitsharikari.jpg|Disney's version of a redneck
Image:moosemeatpizza.jpg|The closest thing [[Canada]] has to them!
Image:moosemeatpizza.jpg|The closest thing [[Canada]] has to them!
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Image:Redneck_Beverages.png
Image:Redneck_Beverages.png
Image:A_Healthy_Pregnancy.jpg
Image:A_Healthy_Pregnancy.jpg
</gallery>
File:Redneck Powerstation.jpg
</center>
Image:Treehouse.png| there not racist
</gallery>}}


{{Collapsegallery|Redneck Technology|cg1|center|<gallery>
{{Collapsegallery|Technology|cg1|center|<gallery>
File:Redneck diapers.jpg| Redneck Diapers
File:Redneck diapers.jpg| Redneck Diapers
File:Redneck-selfie-stick-with-a-rake.png
File:Redneck-selfie-stick-with-a-rake.png
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==See Also==
==See Also==


*[[The South]]
*[[Doopie DoOver]] Your basic redneck, Trailor Trash princess.
*[[Frat boy]]
*[[Frat boy]]
*[[Australia]]
*[[Australia]]
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*[[Mouth breather]]
*[[Mouth breather]]
*[[Nigger Manual]]
*[[Nigger Manual]]
*[[Poor]]
*[[Racism]]
*[[Racism]]
*[[Retard]]
*[[Skinhead]]
*[[Skinhead]]
*[[Texas]]
*[[Texas]]
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*[[wiggers]]
*[[wiggers]]
*[[Kyleville]]
*[[Kyleville]]
 
*[[Bestiality]]
*[[Loco Melones]]
*[[White Trash]] ([[Pokemon|the evolved form]])
'''...and popular people...'''
'''...and popular people...'''


*[[Insane Clown Posse]]
*[[Insane Clown Posse]]
*[[Paula Deen]]
*[[Paula Deen]]
*[[Audrey Hale]] - Tennessee school shooter.
*[[Sweet Eva]]
*[[Sweet Eva]]
*[[Wtprn]]
*[[Wtprn]]
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[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:Subcultures]]
[[Category:You]]
[[Category:How Not To Live]]

Latest revision as of 18:09, 14 December 2024

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT COUNTRY MUSIC IS SLOWLY BECOMING POP MUSIC!!!1
Your typical Southern Redneck.
Note the condition of the truck, the man on the left bending over for anal sex, and the dirty clothes everyone is wearing.
Redneck Dream Catcher
herp DeRp BURP
This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT country music is retarded and made by losers!!!!!!!!1

A redneck, also known as a hillbilly, or hillnigger, is a heavily armed conservative white gentleman, from the Southern and Midwestern part of America, known as the Bible Belt. They are also the scum of the Earth. They are so prevalent that most outsiders think that this is what all Americans are like, much like how many Americans think all Brits are members of the upper class. When subjected to the company of a normal human being, i.e. anyone who can read, or a nigger, they become highly agitated, and beat their wives. Their society is illiterate, and their main cultural activities include finding creative uses for their bathtubs, improving their figures through drinking, and providing insightful viewpoints on the role of diversity in America today. Wannabe rednecks are the worst. Merely coming in contact with one IRL can turn you homosexual and give you an irresistible urge to display the confederate flag on anything you see.

Oddly, most furries are rednecks (and vice versa). This is odd because rednecks are notoriously homophobic, despite being not gay.

You can learn more about redneck behavior from watching the movie "Deliverance."

Sports

Rednecks watch sports frequently, but never actually play any sports, as this would ruin the ideal redneck body type. Their sports of choice include drinking, chewing tobacco,NASCAR, drinking, and incest. Rednecks play American football, which is similar to European rugby, except that it is played by gorillas and retards. Perhaps the most popular activity among Rednecks are Oxycontin eating contests. Rednecks also enjoy creative alternative sports, as seen here [1]

A redneck's favorite sport (other than nascar racing).

Motor sports

Unlike most northerners whom are raised around normal things such as football, baseball, hockey, basketball, etc. Hillbillies grow up watching NASCAR, dirt bike racing, NHRA drag racing, tractor pulls, monster trucks, boat racing, and any kind of sporting event which involves some type of motorized vehicle. Rednecks have an unexplained urge to drive their rusted out 4 wheel drive trucks by driving through pits of mud where they commonly bathe, this is commonly referred to them as "Muddin'." Their cultural fascination with motor sports is believed to be because most of them were born in the back seats of automobiles, or in the beds of pickup trucks, to unwed, teenage mothers whom were taking OxyContin and Xanax during their pregnancy. With their fathers actually being their cousins, and often distantly related to some vague NASCAR driver or some other auto-racing "athlete."

Update: It has been recently discovered that the reason they watch motorized sports is because most of them are fat, and see motorized sports as a way to be an athlete without actually exercising.

The Fascination with Hunting

Rednecks hunt in hunting clubs located in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. This allows the typical redneck male increased freedom to engage in group sex with other men at the clubhouse and out in the wild with the animals, much like furries. Most rednecks hunt for the imaginary shock value of this now outdated pastime. Some however must hunt for their food because the government has cruelly deprived them of their driver's licenses for driving creatively, and the local Winn-Dixie just closed the meat department due to aids.

Slang

Rednecks made Microsoft Words.
GIT R DOOOOOOOOONE.
Note the dogs.

"J'ever done gone'n getted that thar thang you was gonna git from the catalog?"

Loosely translated, this means "Did you receive the item which you ordered from the catalog?" A catalog is a form of old media. It is similar to eBay, but printed on paper and sent to everybody's house through the mail, another form of old media. Also, a catalog does not have the possibility of a bidding war where the price of an item escalated to over 9000 times its actual value and could be bought by nobody. They also treat the word "done" as a modal verb, putting it in front of every conjugation, ex. "I done did good". They also use "y'all" (you all) in every sentence.

Common Sayings and Translation

  • squeel like a pig = youtube search these from the clip from the film Deliverance OR, if you are an uncultured faggot, just watch "The China Probrem."
  • Makin da laf durn = We are guiding our automotive vehicle to the left.
  • Relo mah boomstick = Please place more of your ammunition into my firearm.
  • Gettin my cusin done 'n' watchin the daytona 5 hundrurd = I am taking my lovely wife on a honeymoon.
  • I goin to skol to do da numba lernin = I am on my way to a learning institution to be educated in mathematics.
  • I grajadated da keendrgaden = I have attained the highest level of formal education so far of any member of my family.
  • Shucks, ah dun hit a skunk = I have accidentally acquired a source of sustenance for our upcoming meal.
  • I goin warsh my bigol truck = I am going to cleanse my automobile.
  • HOW BOUT DEM DAWGZ! = Might I remind you of the University of Georgia's football team, the Georgia Bulldogs? (and the university of washington calls themselves the dawgs, too. self-explanatory)
  • WEEEEEEE-HOOOOOOOO! = I believe alchoholic beverages vastly enhance the entertainment gathered from this televised racing event.
  • Gahddang ah gotta cut mahh grayass! = I can no longer access my automobile.
  • YER DUN GONE TO THEM THERE MRVER THEETRES THAR DUN DONTOUN? = Excuse me, but are you going to go to the cinematic theaters for motion picture viewing that is located in the southermost part of this fair city?
  • WOWOWWEE IDUN FOUN A C'GGY IN MAH ASSCRACK WOOOWEEE!! = By some strange circumstance, I have found a cigarette in the divide of my buttocks
  • I DUN BY YYEERRHAWW NOBOYAWAJAABBATHAT DONE YAHOOWHODADDY DEMRFHR!! = The chaos theory is a theory that complex natural systems obey rules but are so sensitive that small initial changes can cause unexpected final results, thus giving an impression of randomness.
  • WHO DAT SAY DAT WE CAN'T WIN? WHO DAT? WHO DAT? You've been underestimating the New Orleans Saints because they won the Superbowl.
  • HEAVEN SURE IS PRETTY!! = shoot the niggers
  • DERKA-DUR!!! = Damn, how did I lose my job to this Mexican? Fuck my life.
  • MA SHED GAW-BOO = My personal storage facility has exploded due to the production of illegal substances.
  • Theurrr tuuk ur jubz = The steel mill is moving to Mexico.
  • WOOWIE! MAYUKIN' BAYUKIN! = Getting my job done quickly.
  • BO' HOWDIH! = That shit was hot, man.

Mating

Moar info: Incest.

A typical redneck, she'll only have sex with her brother...and her uncle

Since many rednecks come from small country towns in the US, there is a limited pool of eligible people to mate with. Many rednecks thus marry their sibling or their cousin. This results in more retarded children, who grow up to be rednecks and do likewise. There seems to be no way to break this vicious cycle. This population expansion in the redneck communities results in the Republicans winning elections.

Also note that redneck men only like redneck girls and will shit bricks if their girlfriend has a mind. She belongs in the kitchen, damnit. This usually leads to them being attracted to buck-toothed ugly shits who will get on their knees whenever Papa tells her to.

Fetish

There has been a new fetish arising, and that is the redneck fetish. One needs to be a seriously disturbed individual to have said fetish, and if you find this turns you on, you should seek immediate help.

How do I know if I'm a redneck?

Redneck camouflage
Your average redneck Myspace profile.
A redneck ocean liner.
Longseet wishes he can send you bullets through Tinychat.

Don't worry, the fact that you are able to access the Internet means that you are most likely not a redneck. Also, in order to be a redneck, you must first possess several of the following items:

  • If you were able to read what was above you're overqualified, sorry
  • A rusty wheelbarrow
  • A pickup truck with jacked up 10 foot suspension.
  • A "Dixie" horn.
  • A banjo
  • More than one 12 Gauge shotgun
  • 10 Hunting dogs trained to kill niggers and beaners on command.
  • An AK47
  • 4 foot tall CB whip antenna on your truck, during and after hunting season.
  • A couch on your lawn.
  • Miscellaneous car parts in your overgrown yard.
  • At least one car on cinder blocks.
  • A tractor, especially if you don't live on a farm.
  • A beagle or collection of miscellaneous dogs underneath your trailer.
  • A collection of Elvis 45's.
  • A Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt.
  • A hatred of niggers, jews, orientals and towelheads because they keep bringing the white man down.
  • A flannel shirt.
  • A "The South Shall Rise Again" bumper sticker and/or a confederate flag vinyl sticker covering your back windows on the above mentioned truck.
  • A turkey fryer.
  • A Membership Card to Bass Pro Shops. Extra points if you only buy shitty baseball caps and T-Shirts with it.
  • A collection of empty dipping tobacco cans. Extra points if it's Copenhagen and not that pussy-ass flavored Skoal shit.
  • Missing or rotting teeth from consuming ungodly amounts of tobacco meth.
  • Six toes, due to rampant inbreeding.
  • If you understand what the hell Larry the cable guy is actually saying. Extra points if you actually find him funny.
  • If you associate the word fag with Jeff Gordon. Or talk about raping his mother.
  • A confederate flag hanging off the porch of your trailer.
  • An attraction to your sister.
  • A shiny new car while your house looks like utter shit.
  • At least one Git-R-Done t-shirt; bonus points if you cut the sleeves off.
  • At least 100 no trespassing/keep out signs nailed all over your bajillion acre land.
  • Any obnoxious $7 singing toy from Walmart mounted on your wall.
  • Guns.
  • At least one country album and you actually listen to it. Bonus points if you have a bluegrass album.
  • Empty cans of cheap beer that is used as the foundation of your trailer.
  • A beer belly
  • A Mullet
  • Being part of the NRA
  • Acting like every day is the fourth of July
  • Thinking Ronald Reagan was the greatest president evar
  • Favorite movies are Dirty Harry, Death Wish or Red Dawn (or all three really; rednecks can't count)
  • Watching Fox News
  • Having a shit load of Duck Dynasty merchandise
  • Believing everything Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage or Alex Jones says
  • Still being butthurt over the Scopes Trial
  • Thinks NASCAR is a real sport
  • Thinks the WWE is real
  • Being a fan of the Dallas Cowboys, Pittsburgh Steelers or Philadelphia Eagles Nevermind, the NFL pissed off their redneck fans.
  • You find Tim Allen funny. Bonus points if you went apeshit after his pos "sitcom" Last Man Standing was canned Nevermind, it's back
  • You funded the Ernest movies

The gentleman below holds the standing record as the dumbest redneck that has ever existed. Note that he sympathizes with furries, but hates Arabs:


More of his furfaggotry.


 
“ 		 
They think their getting lulz out of me when im really getting alot of lulz over this. God I love ED. Nice try trolls. Youll have to do better than this.
  		„
 

—headsooter5 on discovering his video was here, a bulletinck he posted


Fun Fact: He also is, infact, a Fag. No srsly Check out his comment admitting his sickness

TV

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Galleries

  • THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!1!11!1
    THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!1!11!1
  • Rednecks were here
    Rednecks were here
  • good way to explain the confederates
    good way to explain the confederates
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • I CAN SHOOT DOWN THAT ANNOYING ASS TRAFFIC HELICOPTER THAT ALWAYS WAKES US UP NOW.
    I CAN SHOOT DOWN THAT ANNOYING ASS TRAFFIC HELICOPTER THAT ALWAYS WAKES US UP NOW.
  • A prime example of what occurs when a redneck is allowed into society; note the feigned education, "rustic" tone, and most importantly, the colloquial stature.
    A prime example of what occurs when a redneck is allowed into society; note the feigned education, "rustic" tone, and most importantly, the colloquial stature.
  • A redneck god.
    A redneck god.
  • A redneck snowplow.
    A redneck snowplow.
  • A typical redneck date.
    A typical redneck date.
  • Typical rednack gathering. Note the gimp splayed out in the background for communal use.
    Typical rednack gathering. Note the gimp splayed out in the background for communal use.
  • hawt.
    hawt.
  • An average redneck girl 10 A.M. Sunday Morning.
    An average redneck girl 10 A.M. Sunday Morning.
  • Sample of image style found in a Redneck porn collection.
    Sample of image style found in a Redneck porn collection.
  • A typical redneck couple.
    A typical redneck couple.
  • Typical redneck transportation. Note the patriotism for a country that doesn't exist
    Typical redneck transportation. Note the patriotism for a country that doesn't exist
  • Disney's version of a redneck
    Disney's version of a redneck
  • The closest thing Canada has to them!
    The closest thing Canada has to them!
  • Rhodesian redneck.
    Rhodesian redneck.
  • Typical redneck woman.
    Typical redneck woman.
  • Multitasking, Texas-style.
    Multitasking, Texas-style.
  • Inbred redneck movie star
    Inbred redneck movie star
  • What every redneck aspires to be
    What every redneck aspires to be
  • Romantic texan newlyweds who are about to consummate their holy union.
    Romantic texan newlyweds who are about to consummate their holy union.
  • Believe it or not the only surgery this (fine Appellation) beauty has had on her cunt or tits are biopsies
    Believe it or not the only surgery this (fine Appellation) beauty has had on her cunt or tits are biopsies
  • there not racist
    there not racist
  • Redneck Diapers
    Redneck Diapers
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Redneck Teething Ring
    Redneck Teething Ring
  • Every redneck's dream spoiler
    Every redneck's dream spoiler
  • This can seduce any white trash
    This can seduce any white trash
  • Redneck basketball
    Redneck basketball
  • According to rednecks underwear has multiple uses
    According to rednecks underwear has multiple uses

See Also

...and popular people...

External Links

Featured article May 13 & 14, 2012
Preceded by
Fandom Secrets 		Redneck Succeeded by
Homosexuality
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