Warbears

This polar bear is clearly not homosexual!

Easily one of the faggiest sites to ever exist on the internet, Warbears is a site about a series of shitty flash games starring four ambiguously gay polar bears. The site is a gateway drug to turn children into butt-yiffing furries, as part of the creator's master plan. Furries who love My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Linkin Park. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The basic plot of the game is focused on four polar bears. One, Ryoh, is a weeaboo faggot/japanophile who enjoys handling swords because they make him feel tough. Another bear, Steve, is a cock sucking faggot who enjoys brandishing long smooth guns because they remind him of the cock of his partner, Kla, who also happens to be a crossdressing tranny (the creator swears it's a boy, but fans figure that so many people think Kla is a girl, the creator might as well recognize him as that. That, or a massive flaming faggot). The other is some dumbass that no one cares about who brandishes grenades because they make him feel tough. To the contrary, he's yet to actually kill anyone with his grenades.

The Warbears, looking spiffy for Mission 3.

The supremely white polar bears go around trying to kill their sworn enemy, the African American Groundhog gang who only rob banks to help out their impoverished black person. When asked whether or not the game is racist, the creator will tell you to obey God and stop listening to all that flim-flammery. Some say that he and Hal Turner are bff.

Because some are in denial about the true faggyness of the game, the founder of the site Kongregate (Jim greer) came on FOX News one day to demonstrate just how shitty a game Warbears is. While his original intention was to pimp it, he failed horribly by playing the game all wrong, and also preceding to call the Warbears 'teddy bears', further exemplifying the true level of their gayness. Someone forgot his mind up-link device! Watch the video here.

The Creator Himself, Gionatan Iasio

Ioji goes to /b/!

Every night he fantasizes about Mandy taking him from behind with her girl cock.

Holy shit Fursona!

Ioji, downin' a nice cold one.

The creator of Warbears is one Gionatan Iasio (MSN [email protected]), who is a proud Christian and furry. He launched the game last Thursday in an attempt to get the game e-popular enough to earn himself a deal with major distributors so he can make lots of the moneys. His first game was a huge success on Newgrounds, but everyone failed to care about his second mission (Even Hal Turner has a higher Alexa ranking than Warbears does) except the stupid people who actually played through the monstrosity. This is probably due to the fact that the dumbass decided not to distribute it because he wants all the millions of page views he's clearly getting all to himself.

If you attempt to argue with Gion (or Ioji as he likes to call himself) about evolution, he'll simply tell you that God is responsible for everything and is perfect because he's a stupid fundie Italian who doesn't realize that if there were a God, He'd think all furries are abominations. If you mention that you enjoy sucking cocks or anything of the like, Ioji will give you b& (most likely because Ioji is a closet fag who is afraid to come out because his parents would beat him with a Bible).

Although Ioji appears to be a kind person OTI, IRL, he's quite the opposite. In reality, Ioji is a money-grubbing drunk who lives with his parents (Warbears will become profitable one day!). To Ioji, it doesn't matter who he deceives, as long as the end result involves lots of supple young boys coming to his website. He will ban you if you exercise too much free thought, so tread with caution.

It was discovered on May Day that Ioji threw out the TOS that phpbb comes with, and wrote his own, leaving out the part that tells the childrens that it's illegal for them to join if they're under 13. This tells us several things about Ioji, but mainly that he loves the taste of supple, young flesh. Why else would someone make child friendly games and put them on the internet of all places? It's glaringly obvious that Ioji wants to rape him some childrens over the internet, and most likely already has. If Ioji has touched you in a bad place, please contact ED immediately, and call the Italian police on his pedo ass.

"Art" Gallery

• 
  The secret ending to Warbears that Ioji didn't want you to see!
• 
  Does this make him--uh, her--uh...?
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  Kla, pictured with his arsenal of weapons
• 
  It's true!
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  Ioji, pictured with Bubba, top.
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  MSPaint: tool of destruction
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  A child's design of his own team of Warbears!
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  Ioji's name forms into a Swastika. Coincidence? Well obviously not.

The Community

Typical civilized discussion on Warbears.

Warbears, if not gay enough, has its own shitty community where users can basically dress up stupid little characters with fucked-up anatomy and either sit on a park in a bench, sit on a stool in an abandoned bar, or sit around and play boring-as-shit trivia for e-points. Ioji claims that more is on the way, but because it takes him so long to update, many people leave the site because the creator is poor as shit, since he apparently can't afford a programming team. Subsequently, those people are massive faggots for caring about a stupid tenth-rate Habbo Hotel knock-off. Likewise the forums are a mess due to nobody having anything remotely interesting to say. The only sure fire way to survive at all is to exemplify sheer fucktardedness.

Typical love making session in Bedtime City.

Like /b/tard is for /b/ users, and 'Goon' for Something Awful, people who use Warbears are called Warfags. They love being called this, and should be referred to Warfags whenever the opportunity presents itself. If the Warfag acts offended, just play along and keep calling them it; it's part of their shtick. The typical Warfag has a shitty edit of one of the Warbears as their avatar, fails at speaking English and enjoys shitty music. Bedtime City is also a popular place to make booty calls, as you will often notice many fourteen year old girls from California running around, asking you for cybers. It is recommended you stay far away from these people, as they carry a deadly dose of WarAIDS.

Typical post on Warbears.

Recently, there's been a massive outbreak of 'My Chemical GRIDS', a virus that causes everyone to love My Chemical Romance, and bands like them (Don't worry, ED has been quarantined from these fiends). Because of this, it's impossible to take anyone on Warbears seriously, since they'll probably start shouting lyrics from 'The Black Parade' at you when all else fails. Everyone there also suffers from basement-dweller syndrome, diabeetus, and assburgers. Rumor has it that the outbreak of so many viruses is due to sstottor fucking anything with a penis, including the shotas. Currently, there are plans to rename the site 'Chemical Warfag Boy'. More on this as it develops.

The Girls Only Forum Charade

Wargirls, after the incident.

Some time ago, Mandy the PMSing mod banged Ioji hard enough to get him to make a forum just for girls called Wargirls, because they both believed it would help the female end of the community grow. Less than 300 posts and two months later, it is proven that they are both fucking idiots. One of the mods, Captain Oblivious, objected to this faggotry because it was actually sexist. Mandy claimed it was the opposite, since it balanced the gender control in the forum, although there was no boys forum. Mandy claimed that boys already ruled the rest of the forum, showing that she was a stupid enough cunt to forget that she had power over the rest of the forum. Every thread in the Girls Only Forum is filled with 11 year olds bragging how they've already gotten some, while others claim to have had at least 44 boyfriends. In a sudden decision, Wargirls got deleted, along with Forum Games and Roleplay, because Ioji and Mandy finally caught on to how goddamn retarded it was.

Mission Three

Exclusive Mission 3 screenshot!

The latest in the series of furry-fanaticism adventures is entitled "Mission 3: An Oceanic Problem." It is also known as "Mission 3: Jumping the Shark", because what little originality WB once had has been beaten to a pulp and served with a side of clunky gameplay. This is of course an elaborate scheme so that Ioji can get rich quick off his 1-cent-per-ad income. After taking ten months for Ioji to develop (between clouds of alcohol-induced haze); Mission 3 was delivered to the public mid-November. So much for the expected summer release date. Upon that day Warfags everywhere immediately creamed their jeans in allegiance. Moderator Benjamin even stayed home from his assumed school to devote hours of repetitive trial and error; because the unveiling of a minor internet game is much more significant than one's social and academic lives. Way to prioritize.

Other than the involvement of liquor, it seems Ioji spent all this time dicking around with a twenty minute "cutscene"; that is if you can call the blandish cavalcade of speech bubbles something in resemblance to a cinematic. And why is this all necessary? Nobody cares about story in flash. The source of the game's entire shittiness is that it is segmented into three sections. So instead of getting one whole game you get three partial-missions that are connected together by the ho-hum plot revolving around an oil tower. Now the bizarre difficulty curve here comes in that, what there is lacking in dynamic environments, is present in a jumble of obscure puzzles that will render even your brain up-link device useless to finding a solution. Furthermore, the only combat method that enemy encounters call for is "KILL IT WITH FIRE".

Warbears Wikidrama

Back in May 2007, panic broke out across Warbears when its beloved Wiki article was nominated for deletion. The Warfags bawwwwed, citing that it wasn't fair, and would attack Wikipedia if the article ever got taken down. Sadly, that never panned out, and the Warbears article got flushed down the crapper, adding hero points to Wikipedos everywhere. Regardless, they're still failures, as well as the Warfags. You can read the discussion on Wikipedia about it here, and the lulzy topic on the Warbears forums here. To summarize:

Thank you for that bit of insight, Waak

The Secret Location and ^<RISE>^

Will you ^<RISE>^?

As if the Warbears games didn't suck hard enough, Ioji introduced a top-secret mini-game called the Secret Location, where you have to rescue some Bartender from the evil clutches of...a tool shed? Basically, the entire game is standing in front of metal doors and trying to guess obscure passwords, since Ioji is too much of a dipshit to make a game that's actually fun. Even though it probably rivals 'standing in line at K-Mart' as the biggest waste of time you've ever experienced, the Warfags are constantly pestering each other for answers, since 750 e-points are worth trading in hours of your life.

Last Thursday, Grizzly Warbear (seen to the right), the latest in a series of people to lock lips with Ioji's shit canal, started a group dedicated to making sure absolutely NO ONE gives out the answers for the bore fest that is the Secret Location, as if it's worth even protecting the answers. Because Warfags have nothing better to do with their time, they're constantly using Google to see if another walkthrough pops up, so they can jump all over it and eat the person who wrote it. They will do the same thing when Mission 3 of Warbears comes out, meaning that everyone should try and beat the game as quick as possible, and start passing around the answers all over the internets. And just to piss off the Warfags, here's a walkthrough for the Secret Location that some Wikipedo wrote. The walkthrough can be found here.

The Moderators

Captain Oblivious

Captain Oblivious was a shota loving mod, and the only one to ever get discharged from Warbears. This occurred after countless slapfests with resident fucktard Mandy, and general retardation. Eventually, Captain Oblivious demodded Pokchu for sending his sister to troll the site, and banned him for a week. When Captain Oblivious returned, he decided it would be funny to raid the site. While it in turn was lolz, it only meant bad things for him.

About a week after Ioji kicked Captain Oblivious out of Warbears, Ioji sent a team of publishers to gang bang Captain Oblivious in a dark alley, to shut him up. This was made possible after the numbnut gave Ioji his docs, coaxed into believing that there was candy at the other end of this transaction rainbow. Shortly after Ioji stalked Captain Oblivious IRL, his mother threatened a lawlsuit against Ioji to counter-act his impending lawlsuit on Pokchu, causing the two to cancel each other out and bring about the next internet ice age. A chatlog can be seen here.

Over the course of several months, Captain Oblivious tried to get back into Warbears, claiming that the evidence indicting him of bringing the hurt down upon Warbears was faulty. As the Captain whined and whined, Ioji never gave in, leading Captain Oblivious to start a hate crusade against Warbears called Warfags United.

On May 5th 2007, the site for Warfags United was born, dedicated to ridding the world of Warbears, while mercilessly mocking it. The site was founded by Captain Oblivious and Howie, two defenders of lulz. The purpose of the site was to rescue any members that didn't reek of fail from Warbears, and recruit them to the site. Because Ioji is such a failure at life, he felt so threatened by a couple of teenagers, that he felt the need to fuck up their forum and get phpbb to shut it down. While creating a new forum, Captain Oblivious went through a mental breakdown, and the community withered away. While the community is pretty much deads now, it lives on in the hearts of many to this day.

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Mandy

Mandy atop her throne.

(MSN: [email protected]) Easily the most fucktarded one of the bunch, Mandy is a twenty-one-year-old PMSing whore who claims to be a feminist, but is actually a hypocrite by promoting that girls get their own section on the forum. The creator gave in, when she claimed that "girls can't post anywhere on the forums anyway". Later, one of the moderator's sister's signed up and posted somewhere else and caused the site to implode. Also, she is unfunny and does not understand the art of lulz.

Mandy was made a moderator after only two weeks of being on the site, because Ioji was is a complete idiot and thought that claiming you had experience meant you actually did (fun fact: she never actually gave any sources!), so he modded her. Also, he was a desperate luser. It is rumored that she is bumming Ioji, and that is how she got the position. Since she is a stupid fucking slut, this theory is highly regarded as plausible. It is implied that she still goes to school. As in high school. Lol held back much?

In a shocking discovery, Mandy apparently is a singer who belongs to a small record label. The name of the label is unknown. Not surprisingly though, her music falters between unoriginal and boring, and is composed entirely of electronica house music bullshit. You can listen to it on her MySpace here. Oh, did we mention she has a MySpace? She also has an official website. A minor torrent of lulz was conceived when Internet-Fuhrer Pokchu called her presumed shitty-apartment somewhere in Kansas.

• 
  fap fap fap
• 
  Mandy returns from a night of prostitution.
• 
  So serious!

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Dynos

Dynos be Stylin'

Somewhat cool guy who appeared out of thin air one day, and somehow ended up a mod. Notable only for telling resident emokid Stimtheone to either DO IT FAGGOT or GTFO. Left shortly after so he could spend more time shoveling horse shit on his parents' farm in Nowhere, South Dakota; a duty slightly more venerable than Warbears moderator.

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Thatguy IRL

ThatGuy and Weirdbro

Interesting enough, these two are brothers. This means that of course, there must be some incests going on, particularly bum fucking. An offer would be made to write slash featuring the two, but because they're both rarely ever fucking on the forum, it would be pointless, because consequentially, no one would give a shit if someone wrote slash about them.

Both members of the pre-existing community,(which was about as interesting as a spreadsheet), were made mods due to being one of the few who actually gave a shit anymore. In mere weeks Weirdbro wandered off never to be seen again. ThatGuy, AKA Colin Silliman also long ago left; and returned only to badmouth ED and prevent Howie from being unbanned, at all costs. Recently, Thatguy has come to people he believes edit ED and asked them to Delete fucking everything and then whined like a pu55y when they refused that it wasn't funnay (coincidentally, according to him, uncyclopedia is very 'funnay' as is Dane Cook and any pathetic joke his dungeon master makes) and saide 'Hay guyz, I'm a person with feelings and u hurted them.' Even IRL Thatguy is a lolcow who nobody likes and is obsessed with shit nobody cares about, such as a type of D&D about his school which he is trying to get published and his fanfiction based on bad music, which he subjects people to by bitching that people don't know about his hidden talent. He constantly whines about it over E-mail and AIM and threatens to become An Hero over 9000 times a day, which is not surprising considering he plays Dungeons & Dragons because he's too fucking poor to afford World of Warcraft in D&D he is always a rogue who maxes out his diplomacy because he has no social skills IRL. Fun fact! Thatguy is a liberal commie and atheist who believes that if you talk at the top of your lungs in a whiny, nasally voice, you are right. He also haets mudkips and keeps swimming in the pool despite the aids, also he considers himself to be not a furfag. UPDATE! Thatguy will run like a fucking pu55y if you even try to mention ED! UPDATE! Thatguy is being kicked out of his school for being a whiny fuck.

	“	OMG! I DON'T EVEN GO ON THAT SITE ANYMORE! WHY CAN'T YOU ALL LEAVE ME ALONE!?!!	„
	—Thatguy

	“	THE US MILITARY SHOULD MIND IT'S OWN BUSINESS AND GET OUT OF IRAQ	„
	—Thatguy

	“	OMG! I HATE ED BECAUSE THEY MADE IOJI MAD AT CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS!	„
	—Thatguy

Thatguy's AIM, spam the shit out of it!: ndcthatguy or CollinSilliman

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Oddeh

The latest not-so-latest in a series of wise choices coming straight from the Italian Furry's mind, Oddeh was made a moderator last Thursday. During the second wave of raids, he was the only mod online, and therefore had no idea what was going on, and had little to no idea of how to handle it. While his sheer dumbfuckery aided the raiders, he eventually figured out how b& works. Of course everyone just got around it with tor. It is unknown whether or not Oddeh's lulzteats are full of fresh lulzmilk. He's very cocky and thinks highly of his modding skills (or lack of), so we know he's at least an arrogant assface.

His only credible actions during his brief stay at WB was bedazzling the simple-minded folk with his terribly unfunny comic, which had humor in the ilk of Family Circus. Another short-lived "contribution" to the community was his RP; "BTC Nightmare." A total of 6 people ever played; despite him devoting 1,000 hours in photoshop to make everything fancy-shmancy, it died and he left. OWELL

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Benjamin

Benjamin shows once again his evilness by banning little children. He wets himself during the process.

	“	i told you, b/c im hitler	„
	—Benjamin

'Nuff said.

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Mochi

Mochi, the token AZN Schoolgirl, is BFF with Benjamin. At the time when Warfags United was operating, there was an attempt made to recruit Mochi to the cause. She agreed to do it for the horde, but ultimately decided it was best not to make that knowledge public, since she was on the verge of becoming a mod.

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IMNN

Another closet fag who is actually a complete contrast to Ioji, meaning that he is a Darwinist, loyal atheist and goes to some highly regarded college. He is one of the mods who isn't a total failure, because he actually understands humor on the internets. He tends to keep a low profile so Ioji doesn't realize this and remove his mod status.

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Rowena and Mac

These are the newest Mods inaugurated into serving the Nations of the Persian empire Wearbears.com. Not much lulziness to report on them, since Rowena is just a carbon-copy of Mochi; and Mac has the accumulated character-depth of an earthworm. Props to Rowena however, for conceiving the Drunk Ioji Bear also little do people know that the fucktard rowena wrongly persecutes people for multiple accounts one of these incidents caused a banning of one character called awsomeguy this was recorded by a person who was sitting in the bar at the time and managed to catch glimpse of the conversation (what a fucked up hor.....i mean woman) (see above).

Other Warfags

Marballz

Marballz is also a Sonicfag, apparently.

Marballz, or Liam Valante Mcelane, a highly gullible 15 year old eurofag who can't spell worth shit, is a close ally of Gionatan Iasio, creator of the site Warbears. Marballz severely hates Encyclopedia Dramatica, so it would be wise to shove it under his nose at every opportunity presented. You can contact him at his MSN, which is [email protected].

Marballz began visiting Warbears sometime around the beginning of 2006, when Warbears was just beginning. He stuck around with the site during the pre-.com era, showing how much of a lonely loser he is. He joined the .com site as soon as it opened, and managed to rack up over 1,500 posts, further showing how little of a life he has. As that time passed, Marballz forged a tight friendship with Ioji. It has yet to have been determined whether or not 'tight' refers to anything having to do with anal cavities. To this day he is still a large 'contributor' to Warbears, in the sense that contribution means useless post. When longtime user Captain Oblivious was banned, he stuck by him, even when no one else would.

It was discovered one day that Marballz also has a DeviantART gallery, filled to the brim with shitty Sonic artwork. Marballz is also under the impression that people wear cardboard boxes on their feet, as made evident by his 'artwork'. You can view his DevianTART here. Notice how everything he draws is just a recolor of Sonic.

Marballz has admitted to having many life fretening problems (his words, not ours) in a recent conversation. These life fretening problems range from heart attacks, to low blood cell count, to diabetes, and finally to assburgers. Although for some reason, when accused of being an asspie, he firmly denies it. He may be coming down with a severe case of Alzheimer's. May God have mercy many a lulz on his soul dead body.

[Sunday:15:11:37] Marballz: you need new info about me
[Sunday:15:11:56] Marballz: ive been in hospital for the last 5 months
[Sunday:15:12:12] Marballz: with so many life fretening problems
[Sunday:15:13:29] Marballz: you might as well tell the the truth
[Sunday:15:16:05] Ben: Wait, what kinds of problems?
[Sunday:15:16:17] Marballz: lots
[Sunday:15:16:27] Ben: such as :|?
[Sunday:15:16:35] Marballz: like my heart mur mur
[Sunday:15:16:43] Marballz: low blood count
[Sunday:15:16:54] Marballz: way to many white blood cells
[Sunday:15:17:20] Marballz: and im being tested for type b diabetes
[Sunday:15:18:34] Marballz: you know life  is great
[Sunday:15:19:07] Ben: yes, yes it is.
[Sunday:15:19:26] Marballz: life are the greatest
[Sunday:15:19:34] Marballz: lol

On the day of the Great Warbears Raid, Marballz contacted Captain Oblivious in urgency, wondering what had happened to the site. This slowly evolved into a group conversation with Marballz between many EDiots. During this conversation, it was revealed that Marballz has a pile of money stored in his dick, absolutely HAETS penises, is the bitch of Ioji, and in addition to his many diseases, has a severe case of internet tough guy. You can read the full conversation here. As of late Marballz has been making many valiant attempts to get the Warbears article on Encyclopedia Dramatica taken down. This eventually led to an arbchat which proved unsuccessful for Marballz. He was joined by his ally at the time, Captain Oblivious. You can read the full log here.

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Sstottor

Stephanie is hardcore fugly.

Steaphnie Sottor (or blackgoth) is an 18 year old gothic whore who lives in the United Kingdom. Her father's name is Richard, and her sister's name is Jenna. Priding herself on her love of My Chemical Romance, she roams the lands, dreaming of sucking Gerard Way's small pale cock. She is also an avid Warbears user, completing the circle of failure that is she. She claims to have slept with at least 44 men, ultimately sealing her whoredom. If you want, you can contact her on MSN at [email protected] for some lulz of your own.

In April 2007, EDiots Pokchu and Core trolled Sstottor into oblivion for a lulz-packed four days. EDiot BURK guest stars in Day one as Cooldude.

((Day One))

((Day Two))

Intermission:Stephanie 'BAWWWWWW's her eyes out.

((Day Three))

((Day Four))

• 
  Stephanie tells the story of Brian Peppers and Core.
• 
  Stephanie, in less fuglier times.
• 
• 
  Stephanie, smoking on a cig between cocks.
• 
  WELCOME TO THE BLAAAACK PARAAAADE
• 
  Stephanie admits her whoredom.
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  Sstottor; a pioneer of culture crushing stereotypes.
• 
  This would imply that she still lives with her parents, is unemployed, and has no life. TRIPLE THREAT!
• 
  It begs the question; who would even stick their dick in this fug?
• 
  Sstottor talks about man jam on a children's website.
• 
  Sstottor and Mandy engaging in lesbian activity.
• 
  Stephanie, modeling herself after dykefag animoo characters.
• 
  Seven thousand, two hundred and six hours in Paint.

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coolsweets

Coolsweets, spouting her hilarious catch phrase!

Coolsweets' profile pic.

Coolsweets is Warbears' resident loli. Although she is only nine years old (yeah, fucking nine), she's allowed to continue existing on Warbears. Not surprisingly, all her posts are painful to read. According to Ioji, coolsweets was there during the first raid on Warbears, meaning she was traumatized by the Pain Series. Ioji even wanted to go as far as to sue ED, because coolsweets saw the Pain Series. This is most likely because Ioji is a stupid lordy assface, and thinks that money solves everything. Regardless, Ioji wouldn't have gotten a single cent out of ED. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some of coolsweets greatest moments.

• ok dance lovers the bed band are back do you what to join Cheeky, Bc, theusers and Jin on there dance shows you can join the bed band if you what just pm me the next show is Tomorrow at the bar at 3: 30 be there but do leave 4 sits
• i thout of my name because i like sweets and being cool
• song are sweet and show feelings like this song loney Sad Sad loneyi am loney help me loney. loney as the sun loney as the moon help me all of you.now time has come now open your eyes. now as you be stoug to me wind to me. help me me me loney hope you like it
• I had 10 to 15 centimeters.
• i made a new song hay you should make some too

See Your Heat Heat of Stone ,heat that breek other heat and heat that broke. my heat is something than that, but one thing do, see your heat.Well i will make our deams come true just one just ,one thing see your heat. by coolsweets (Cheeky Simpson) great huh

• I like COOL SWEETS THATS WHY IM COOLSWEETS
• arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
• kissed my brother on warbears
• it is fun to live
• guys well girls i made a song again it is called WAR BEARS (but it is more of a poem)

warbears warbears are the best better that the rest

war girls war girls are the place to be with no boys just you and me

• "i dont uder sand"

Coolsweets, or Uder Sand as she'll now be called, is a prime example that the incoming generation has already doomed us all. Coolsweets has also produced a long line of extremely, hilariously bad art, that has been compiled here for your viewing lulz.

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

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SEEMS LOGICAL.

Howie

Howie is easily the coolest and awesomest person to ever come out of Warbears. Discovering Warbears, Howie was a typical Milk-drinking Canadian accessing the World Wide Web from within his Igloo. However when his Internet-Idol Captain Oblivious retaliated and was banned by Ioji, he cried all night and realized the community's true flaws. He partnered with The Cap'n on May 5th, 2007 to help rid the world of the plague that is Warbears. Because he HAETS WB's faggoty populous, Howie has been banned numerous times on several accounts, in order for the Warfags to quarantine themselves from any possible shred of win.

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Kool

Kool (MSN: [email protected]) is a clueless idiot with a misnomer for a name. Manages to fail the internet so hard that he can't even figure out how to use Paint properly, and thinks that everything he churns out of it is a masterpiece. It's extremely easy to piss off Kool, so it's suggested you do it often. He also has his own language, according to himself. He also heralds himself as an internet tough guy, telling anyone who disagrees with him to die a miserable death. Kool currently suffers from Unwarranted Self Importance syndrome, and Internet Tough Guy, which is obtained by raping at least 44 sheep in one day.

Kool also has his own forum for some unknown reason. Unfortunately for Kool, it gets flooded with Pain Series every other day, forcing him to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING. You can visit his vacant forum here.

When asked about this part of the article, Kool said:

	“	A lot of people seem to think I'm a clueless idiot. Sure I can have psychological breakdowns, but only every few months. Jeez, I had eye surgery a few years ago and lost my right eye, it sort of affected my mind.. Anyway, people seem to take an instant dislike to me. Why?	„
	—Kool

Lol, faggot.

Returned spontaneously in June 2013 to stage a brief trolling campaign, apparently trying to get himself permabanned.

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Mr Robot 256

([email protected])

	“	And remember, warbears rules!	„
	—Some faggot

Quite a peculiar character in the midst of WB drama, MrRobot is a noted frenchie and fellow Canuck along with Howie. During the original days of WFU recruitment, MrRobot signed aboard, but with the intentions of infiltrating the shenanigans like something from 007. His master plan was never executed though, due to WFU having the lifespan of an abortion baby. A similar situation occurred during WFU's reboot; but this time he truly was on the side of justice, albeit with much ambivalence as to what he wanted to accomplish. At one point he was convinced WB and WFU were locked in an epic winner-take-all duel to the death. He was of course exiled from Warbears for his treason. It currently hangs in limbo as to whether he will be unbanned, as he clutches desperately to the manipulative teat of Gionatan Iasio.

Out of the Mouths of Warfags

	“	Ioji rapes children? What the heck is going on!?	„
	—Lil_Warbear

	“	They called Coolsweets Uder Sand.....SUE 'EM!	„
	—Kool

	“	Oh my..CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS WROTE THAT ARTICLE!	„
	—Kool

	“	I never knew that Mandy was like that. And how would that person know all that stuff?	„
	—Shorty

	“	Hey I have an idea (well this could be bad. If you want to you can) Maybe we can put an article on wikipedia about this website and make fun of them, since they make fun of other websites! Ahhhh.... revenge is sooo great...	„
	—Zyber

	“	Finally I've been wanting to get on, now I'm famous!!	„
	—Benjamin

	“	It's the loser duo, CO and Howieh.	„
	—BAB

	“	Well if he did I bet he did it because he liked this game A LOT, so when he got permenently [banned] he created the website so he could get back at us.	„
	—Zyber

	“	This artice is not only made of win, but it is 100% true!	„
	—Hughmonclo

EPIC Raid of 2/17/07

	“	one of them was A_RAPE_SPIDER that's the only one I saw though I just kind of stopped looking at the forums after what I saw what he posted	„
	— Ben

A 5-man raid was conducted on 2/17/07, headed by someone who clearly wins the internets, with members A_RAPE_SPIDER, Meshuggit, Atzel and SloanRanger. Amazingly, victory was declared within ten minutes, as Ioji shut down the forum and the rest of the site, except for the BTC. About five minutes later, Marballz contacted an associate of Ioji, and this conversation unfolded. WARNING: contains over 9000 lulz.

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Conversation with Marballz

[Saturday:18:23:51] Marballz: need help!
[Saturday:18:23:58] Ben: he shut down the site
[Saturday:18:24:01] Ben: it was getting raided
[Saturday:18:24:08] Marballz: ohhh
[Saturday:18:24:15] Ben: deary me

Read more...

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Convo between Ioji and Captain Oblivious

[Saturday:18:18:29] Ioji: man, there's a stupid idiot who's posting disturbing pics on the forum
[Saturday:18:22:01] Ioji: I got a big problem now ben
[Saturday:18:22:04] Ioji: ttyl
[Saturday:18:22:10] Ben: also I'm getting 404 errors
[Saturday:18:22:19] Ioji: I shut down the site
[Saturday:18:22:24] Ben: oh

Read more...

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Gallery

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  YOU LOSE
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  WARBEARS CLOSED DUE TO AIDS
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  They suffered from a severe case of accident retard
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  NO SALVATION NO FORGIVENESS
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  further down on their main page
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  KLA PWNED
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  the glory of loldongs1.jpg
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  A simple mudkip can drive any admin to madness.

WARBEARS RAID 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

No, Warbears.com, I believe it is YOU who are banned. GTFO my internet.

On March 24th, 2007, Warbears was raided a second time, this time by at least ten people. The plan was to attack the Girl's Only Forum with spam about how Mandy would be sexually violated in hilarious ways. Sadly, Mandy was not reached for comment. Fortunately though, this caused the Girl's Only Forum to go into lockdown. A few high-fives were shared, and trollers branched off to other parts of the forum, mainly the General Discussion.

After much dislike of Oddeh spam, the forum was closed at 8:37 EST, to much cheering and high fiving. As of March 25th, 2007 at 11:43 EST, the site is back up, but the forums are disabled. In response to the raids, Ioji disabled ALL BBCODE, and introduced a stricter warning system, as well as an ignore function. Tenth-rate Habbo Hotel knock off, digivolve to Ninth-rate Habbo Hotel knock off! Vwoosh!

Warbears was found to be fully functional a few days later, leaving many confused. It forced many of Warbears users to retreat to a sort of promised land during the down time to hide out until things settled, and a bit of juicy drama was stirred up. While there are currently no plans to attack this back up Warbears, some say it could happen within the foreseeable future. The forum also hints at the return of Captain Oblivious to the Warbears forums. His eagerly awaited return mirrors the campaign to Bring Back Snacks, except it's in a much larger scale, and the people rallying behind Captain Oblivious are actually retarded. More on this news story as it develops.

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  Last Measure ftw!
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  Her blood shall flow like the mighty Amazon river.
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  Spamzor is made out to be the perv that he is.

Warbears Raid 3: Night of the Vanishing Topics

It's so beautiful~

On August 21st, 2007, A few days after Warfags United had risen from its ashes and began functioning once again, a raid was set into place. One of which the likes Warbears had never experienced. Valiant defender of the lulz, RJ MacReady, discovered a glitch in the site that made topics disappear if you posted without making a Bedtime City avatar that Ioji can fantasize about raping. That evening, the troops were gathered (Captian Oblivious, Howie, MrRobot, Fiztheancient and Jimmy23), and began posting in topics like crazy, nuking close to 300 topics within half an hour.

The downside to this though, was that it could be reversed; but only by searching for each individual topic and counter-posting. Because of this, Zyber, Trev and Mochi stayed up into the wee hours of the night (2am) reverting the vandalism. Because Warbears is such a noble cause to dedicate your time to. Eventually, Ioji figured out the problem with the glitch, and fixed it. Living in this constant state of fear and panic, Warbears is projected to be living in the dark ages until at least 2011, and is doomed to never make Ioji a single bronze cent.

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  Mochi refuses to admit that Warbears is being bombed by weapons of mass e-struction.
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  Everyone who hates Warbears is really just Captain Oblivious and Howie. srsly.
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  Trev makes valuable use of his time
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  AIDS is once again responsible

Lulzy Posts and Threads

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  Mandy getting served by the Warbears' raid loli.
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  Warbears' finally gives ED some acknowledgment on the forum.
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  'omg why isnt my shitty sig that links to runescape working omgwtf!!?!!'
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  FALL OUT BOY ARE MINT!!1/
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  A random Warfag's Neopets fanfiction
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  ZOBAK ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
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  Pojo <3 Sexism
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  ANCIENT MAYAN CRYSTALS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS
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  BB sure does know a lot about dead babies
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  LEAVE AVRIL ALONE !!!/11/
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  Ioji addresses the world from his bed, all alone in the crowd~
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  BRB RESTARTIN THE INTERNET

See Also

Warbears/Logs3

External Links

• Warbears
• The Warbears Wiki - Getting hacked lulz
• Ioji's personal site
• Warfags United.

Warbears is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Warbears is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article February 20, 2007
Preceded by Knuffy	Warbears	Succeeded by I'm so confused