Steve Lake

Steve Lake (unfortunately born c. 1972) is a potato-headed stalker/douchebag from IMDB's The Soapbox board. He has at one stage or another been known by the names Ibitchslappednurseadrian, Gitagorilla, Gitasconscience, Stubbornsimone, Sirfapalot, and is also known as Anthony. Steve is a self-proclaimed 'super-troll' and claims to be the greatest troll ever to have graced IMDB despite the fact that he can't operate a simple sock account for longer than 5 minutes without either giving himself away or being spotted by the board regulars.

The origins of this monstrosity

Due to an unfortunate birth defect that was affecting Italian-American children in New York in the 1970s - Steve was born with a head resembling a Maris Piper potato. This unique brand of extreme ugliness, which only became more apparent as he got older - does not hinder however from deluding himself that he is God's gift to the black women of NYC, with whom he claims to have had several sexual encounters which completely actually took place and on no account merely involved him sitting in a darkened room fapping to ebony porn whilst imagining said trysts.

The potato head of fail

at work as a minimum wage security guard, sorry 'operations manager'

Stalking

Steve has excelled himself at stalking teenage girls such Gitaqueen and GunitPrincess224 - who have been the target of his lame threats and douchebaggery perhaps because they serve as a reminder to him that beautiful young ethnic women are not falling at his feet but are in fact not even vaguely interested in a morbidly obese thirty-something security guard. After being told in no uncertain terms to fuck right off by GunitPrincess he made a bawwwing and attention-seeking post detailing all the gifts he had got her and was now going to throw away, in an attempt to guilt-trip her for not providing him with enough encouragement to fap his micropenis over the thought of meeting her. His response to this was to wish stomach cancer on her mother, constantly hurl racial slurs and accuse her family members of being alcoholics in a massive outpouring of butthurt. After also being rejected, for facial and personality reasons, by Gita, he proceeded to change his name to Gitagorilla, Gitasconscience and other weak attempts to snipe at her, resulting in unprecedented amounts of fail on his part. Recently, he left a drunk-ass voicemail to Gitaqueen, lets have a listen shall we? [[1]]

It was at this point that the now-infamous photos showing his head, shaped as it is like an edible tuber, surfaced onto the soapbox - revealing in all it's hideous glory the true, offensive-to-behold countenance of this self-proclaimed lothario of Bed-Stuy.

The fall-out to the pic-posting

Steve was outraged and horrified to discover that all stories of being a hot young stud over whom the ghetto princesses and mamacitas of NYC swooned crash and burn within minutes - that he concocted stories at various times that he was not the guy in the pics, that he had since lost 150lbs and could now kick your ass, that his obesity and bloated appearance in the pics was as a result of a serious illness and we would all go to hell, and other such assorted tall tales.

Internet Tough Guy and Bawwwwwwwing

the potato's plea - the true face of an 'internet tough guy'

Steve has attempted to cast himself as an Internet Tough Guy and has regularly made threats to several Soapbox users, most notably the soapbox's other wannabe Internet Tough Guy Jester, that he will come and set them on fire and variously pwn them - however when provided with addresses he is quick to come up with a catalogue of lame excuses to hide the fact that his Rambo-esque physical prowess exists only in his mind. This has naturally lead to much lulz at his expense by the Soapbox regulars, as perfectly illustrated in the now-infamous 'potato's plea' PM he sent to Paulus which has since come to light.

The Future

Could romance be in the air for Steviekins? This picture was taken by an anonymous pap at New York's Times Square in April of '09

love is in the air - has our Spud-head finally found someone who will blow him?

Steve Lake is part of a series on Trolls Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.