Parry Aftab

Parry Aftab really ought to start chasing ambulances instead of the lunch truck

Parry Aftab,[Moar liek Scary ASSFLAB amirite ] the self-proclaimed "Angel of the Internet", is a cyberlawyer specializing in privacy and cyberbullying. In other words, she's basically the self-appointed Internet recess monitor. She's also a fat stupid cunt, and the world would be a better place were she to get laid at least once.

Parry also describes herself as being like an elephant in that her personality is so huge that no one person can really see her whole self. Given her physique, the incredible irony of that statement seems to be completely lost on her.

Parry has set herself up to be enemy #1 of trolls and protector of children. Ironically, the only time the trolls ever paid her any attention was when she attempted to cyberbully the owner of katie.com into giving up her domain name so the spoiled teenager cutter whore who stole it to use as the title for her emo story about how she was almost raped by pedophiles could use it to "Help Jew Children," otherwise known as "help Parry get her fat, attention-whoring face on Oprah." Again.

The net result is that Parry has finally earned the attention she so desperately craves. Unfortunately, it's as a fat, intolerant, pro-censorship, attention whore, who doesn't know how to use apostrophes, legal restraint, or a gym.

Early Life

Parry was born to a transgender, amputee, asylum-seeking crack whore. She never knew her father, the story her mother told her is that one night she went out and had sex with around 20 black men so that she could get paid in crack and malt liquor. Parry slithered out of the womb 8 months later after eating her twin in utero. Because her mother smoked crack, Parry was born with severe autism. In the first grade, she lost her virginity to 12 hobos who camped at the dump, which she lived right next to. When she was 12, a man claiming to be her father showed up at her crack shack and made love to her. Some claim she will use this defense in court when she is brought up on child molestation charges.

TL;DR

MAN THE HARPOONS!

Sweet Reality

File:Parry Aftab.jpg

mmmmmmmk?

File:Aftab the hutt.jpg

File:Troll-vader.PNG

There is no escape...

On March 31st, 2010, to the delight of trolls everywhere, NBC and Matt Lauer did an extremely lulzy "report" on Internet Trolling. As melodramatic and full of facts as Fox News's exploding vans, this one had Parry chiming in with her great expertise on this "new trend". She's also managed to get even fatter....

As you can see in the video, the stinking slimy Jewfail is morphing in to a Reptoid. Her old guy friends trapped in the friend-zone took it upon themselves to White knight themselves and begin defending people from internet trolls just like the keyboard-wielding tough guys they are.

Why she is a threat

People like Parry Aftab are a threat as they wish to restrict the very tool that we use to fight oppressive governments so they can make sure their kids don't get called names on the internet. Parry, instead of reminding children and parents of the parable "Sticks and stones", wants to make it illegal to call people names. Clearly she is sensitive about some bullying in the past, likely due to her enormous girth, her wearing glasses, or wearing that ugly excuse for jewelry. Or perhaps she once used her massive girth to bully others into submission and now seeks redemption by making bullying illegal. The latter would be explained by why she has done so much charity work for human rights efforts in Moscow after the fall of the Soviet Union.

The real problem with her making internet bullying illegal is this: "if I cannot make fun of people, why wouldn't the next step be I cannot make fun of politicians or government?". You might be thinking "that would never happen, we have enough intelligence to stop that from happening". Oh really? Name one time where censorship of a specific subject didn't blur into multiple subjects over time. You can't, can you? Indeed, the pre-OhI history of ED itself is an excellent example of this.

Aftab's idea to protect children from mean people will only hurt them years from now when they can no longer speak freely about the tyranny of oppressive governments or corrupt politicians, but at least your children won't be called sluts or poopie heads or whatever teenagers call one another at middle school.

Posters

• Spread this shit around, also someone make a better one.
  Spread this shit around, also someone make a better one.

External Links

• Raidplans on /i/nsurgency w/i/ki v&? lolno, faggot, partyvan goes down all the fucking time
• Parry's OMG CYBERBULLYING! Website
• Parry's nine million blogs Clearly, she spends too much time on the Internet

Related Sites

• Wiresafety.org
  • One of their extremely lulzy flash "education" videos
  • The second part
• Facebook group
• Cyber Law Enforcement
• Katie's Place
• Net Bullies
• Stop Cyber Bullying
• Teen Angels
• Wired Kids.com
• Wired Kids.org

Email

• Fatty's email