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FireGoron: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Fg_cold.jpg|thumb|FireGoron trying to be cute and nude AT THE SAME TIME]]
[[File:Fg_playstation.jpg|thumb|Infamous Playstation Image]]
 
"Skids" here, as he's commonly refered to online, is a dickless wonder and a newfag who stumbled onto the Interwebs sometime last year onto JewTube.  He has since strived to be an online cam whore, desperate for any attention he can get because his parents raped and abused him (repeatedly) as a child.  This went on for a number of years until they eventually grew bored with him, decided to have a *VERY* late term abortion and promptly dumped him into a garbage bin one night.  From then on he was brought up by a deranged, stank old bum named "Berney" who educated him fully in the art of "cock shitting" and "cock shnogling" which he later used to his advantage in order to secure a job scrubbing toilets at McDonalds after he offered the manager a sloppy blow job.
 
Because of his "cock shitting" childhood he's desperate for attention...*ANY* attention, and will do absolutely anything he can think of to get it.  Including going out of his way to humiliate himself online.  Unfortunately he just never learned how to interact with others like normal people and since he's completely socially retarded in every way imaginable, he has no friends, not even "virtual" friends on the Internet.  In fact, he's such an social leper that the only way he can even get people to make fun of him is by giving them the usernames and passwords to his online accounts whilst bending his fat ass over and screaming, "PUNISH ME DADDY, PUNISH ME!"
 
Needless to say, contact with this kooky little cam-whoring homo should be avoided at all cost.  Don't talk to him, don't reply to him, don't look at his videos, don't even take the bother to acknowledge his existence in any way.  You'll only be contributing to the problem if you do.  The best thing you can do is simply reply to his every post or video with dozens of links to homo websites and pictures of cock...*LOTS* of cock.  The more cock you can send his way, the better you'll be making the Interwebs!
 
==Then==
[[File:Fg_nude_guitar.jpg|thumb|Just what could he be [[Pussy|hiding]] under there?]]
[[File:Fg_highschool.jpg|thumb|Notice how no one sits next to him in class.]]
 
===MASTERLINKX butt-job era===
FlamingGrogan, as he's known to personal butt buddies, made a video called "MASTERLINKX SUCKS" in an incredibly unfunny and painfully obvious attempt at trying to troll 12 year old boys on the Intertubes.  This failed of course, but not before he repeatedly shoved a dildo up his ass over the thought of 12 year old boys getting all butthurt over his epic abortion of a trolling attempt.
 
===HoodboyTails era===
<s>[[HoodboyTails]] is the reason Speakonia videos were popularized on YouTube. When  FireGoron found HoodboyTails' videos, he decided to expand and invest in the  video trend by doing exactly what HbT did by adding no creativity and ideas of  his own. Because the idea was so new, and apparently, SO FUNNY, FireGoron, and  others, funny1allways, ZenkaiKenny, and DBZsonic all created the [[Sonic X Bloopers]] series, which was like a hybrid of an abridged series and a [[speakonia]] video. This boosted FG's popularity up about another hundred  subscribers.</s> SHIT NOBODY CARES ABOUT!
 
===Devian Tart Prissy Little Bitch Slap era===
Because FlamingGrogan's only real goal in his dead end little life is trying to convince himself that he's some kind of super [[Failing|amazing]] troll, he decided to try and piss off more prepubescent boys.  This time he went for a whole shit load of Deviant Tartlets.  He came up with the stunningly brilliant plan of taking a bunch of tweenage muppet fuck's half ass crayon box molestations that he slurped up off their Devian Tartlet accounts and then put them into an incredibly unfunny, unoriginal video called "Stupid Sonic Couples" that he bitched together using the freebie version of Windows Movie Maker on the "family Dell".  And yes, yes he was *VERY* proud of that title, he considered it his "trolling masterpiece" at the time and spent hours on end fingering his cunt-hole with a rusty razor blade over how clever he thought he was.
 
This third abortion of a trolling attempt, as you might imagine, did absolutely nothing at all other than get a few 12 year old boys all butthurt and bellyachin about the big, bad, butt fucked little bitch, FlamingGrogan.  He did manage to get like three new subscribers to his JewTube account, however, given just how socially retarded the little goober is, it's much more likely that he simply started making sock puppet support slurpers to try and feign importance.
 
===Voice Ass Actor era===
[[File:Fg_faceshot.jpg|thumb|FlamingGrogan tries so hard to be an emo-fag for attention.]]
 
Later down the road FlamingGrogan [[Blowjob|made friends with]] some nobody tweenage muppet fuck on JewTube who ran a pretend "voice acting" "company" called "BlackassStudios"...or something like that.  Anyway, this "company" wasn't a real business of course, it was just a bunch of overly pathetic basement dwelling animu fags who wanted to play pretend voice actor and as such went around "hiring" other random tweenagers for "roles" in half-assed, eventually aborted after three scenes, [[animu]] dubbing "jobs"...in which there was no real pay involved and of course never any permission or rights obtained from the original owners.  These piss ridden attempts were quite frankly so gut wrenchingly horrible they played out like 50s era dub jobs of b-grade Godzirra movies, only using the voice work of prepubescent fuck stains from Generation Barney.  Eventually, FlamingGrogan wound up fired from his pretend virtual job and started crying like a little bitch about it, but then, THE MAN HAS NO BALLS...so what the fuck did you really expect?
 
===SexNiggersBlack era===
FireGrogan created a new account called "SexNiggersBlack" in order to show his love of having black cock up his ass.  Of course it certainly had ~nothing~ at all to do with trying to draw even more negative attention to himself.  Using this account he ripped off a lot of popular JewTube videos, fagging them up real good with clips from his favorite [[animu]] series, like Pokuman, Samurai Jack, Strawberry Shitcake, Power Puff Girls and of course My Little Pony (his personal favorite animu).  By using clips from all these popular tweeny bopper toons he was able to bring even *MOAR* attention to himself from Generation Barney, proving once again that the only thing he's really interested in is attempting to molest children in the same way that his parents molested him as a child.  Obviously having no cock to speak of presents somewhat of a challenge, however FireGrogan feels confident that the vibrator he stole from his mother will work just as good as the real thing, as he's tested the theory out on his own ass...repeated, with fairly positive results.
 
===FireCrotch, Self Inflicted Stupidity and LEAVING FOREVERZ!===
[[File:Fg_guitar_shot.jpg|thumb|He just pretends he can play.]]
 
It was around this time that FlamingGrogan started referring to himself as SeizureProne FireCrotch, or just FireCrotch for short, after his cock and balls quite literally spontaneously combusted one evening after a he started having a violent seizure in the middle of a ass rape session involving some poor, prepubescent boy he lured into his car off the street.  The seizure caused his body to twitch violently in a spastic meltdown and as the boy's ass was so small and tight the incredibly intense friction turned his usual "flaming grogan" into an "incinerated grogan", burning off his entire cock and balls in the process.
 
After eventually coming to grips with the fact that he no longer had any genitals to speak of, this article about him popped up on ED, seemingly written in a form that tried to compensate for his lack of any balls or cock.  He tried to claim that one of his tweeny bopper haters made the page in retaliation for his totally making fun of them for liking Sonic The Hedgepig and calling them a, *gasp*, FURRY!  Of course, looking over the original article it's quite clear to anyone who isn't mentally amputated that the little goober wrote the article himself, since it's just FILLED with self slurpage and unwarranted self importance whilst providing only the slightest bit of degrading, invective prose.
 
One does wonder if he did this on purpose in the hopes that ED regulars would notice and promptly blister his fat ass in thirty eight different directions for it.  Obviously in an effort to try and seek more negative attention since he doesn't know how to interact socially like normal people.  There is some pretty strong evidence of that fact as well, in that shortly after the ED page was created he wound up GIVING OUT HIS USERNAME AND PASSWORD to random strangers.  Such a masochistic act of sheer idiocy, as you might imagine, resulted in his entire JewTube account being almost completely obliterated and pissed all over.  All the while FireCrotch's bare ass was seemingly stuck up in the air as he screamed out, "PUNISH ME, DADDY!  BLISTER MY FAT ASS RED!  I'VE BEEN BAD BOY!"
 
In the aftermath, after he finally managed to regain control of the account, by crying like a little girl to the JewTube admins, he looked all around, realized that still *NO ONE* was paying any attention to him and promptly pissed in his little pretty pink princess training panties in indignant frustration over his complete failure of a self-inflicted punishment.  After which he started BAAAWing his eyes out and screamed, "I'M LEAVING FOREVERZ AND I'M NOT EVER COMING BACK EVER AGAIN!"
 
==Return to YouTube==
One day, FireGoron decided to re-open his account and try once again to become  popular by not being creative, and by mocking other popular videos on YouTube.  THIS TIME, he was mocking people who were famous for [[crap]] reasons. His first  target was [[Chris Crocker]]. Although parodying him really got him no where, since everyone was doing it at the time. His second target was [[Smosh]], third  was [[Gothbabe0304]] and his final attack was on Sexybabegirl, which he "put in  her place" by mimicking her bikini dancing videos by dressing up in a bikini  himself, and dancing to the same song she was dancing to in her video... Yep. He  put on a bikini, danced on cam, and put it on YouTube.. JUST to get popular.  Creative.
 
==Banishment==
FireGoron eventually did get banished because he made a video of [[Dragonforce]]  singing about how much they love killing [[niggers]] and raping women. YouTube  felt that this freedom of speech video was just too distasteful for their site,  so with the removal of the video, FireGoron was finally banned. The video was  uploaded to [[Break.com]] and is still available for viewing.
 
<center><youtube>TB_aHR3jKRo</youtube></center>
 
==Attention Whore==
[[File:8a4d46cbde36c58580b935f9077375a8_20100312195623_510.jpg|thumb|Aww so gay.]]
[[File:L_ec00124d4318423e82cc66ce10a055fc.jpg|thumb|This is what makes him a musician, right?]]
 
FireMoron is an online [[attention whore]] and the clear definition of a raging PUSSY trapped in a prepubescent male's body. This fact was made abundantly clear after some nudie pics were "hacked" off his MySpace page which revealed the [[Obvious|stunning]] truth: THIS MAN HAS NO COCK!
 
==Now==
===New Account===
FireGoron has a new account, '''FireGXLOL''' and is continuing to post bad Speakonias, Singonias, and other butthurt videos which get low star rating and no views. He is apparently now a song composer of a shitty flash series called 3FrogBros, and he is even now claiming that he was the voice of Marth in [[Brawl|Brawl Taunts]]! Can you imagine such a small world?
 
===EXPOSED!===
[[File:FireGoron_Has_No_Cock.jpg|center]]
 
<center>
<br />Yes, yes it's very true...this man has no dick.
<br />He's cockless!
<br />Without penis.
<br />Erectilely challenged.
<br />A poverty of a package if you will.
<br />A dickless wonder.
<br />No more Mr. Happy.
<br />Lorena Bobbitt's biggest fan!
</center>
 
===FetLife===
His FetLife profile reads, and i quote,
 
<blockquote style="font-style:italic;"><p>Call me Tsu, The T is silent. Tsu is a Japanese word meaning tidal, which basically means large.. So it fits me well, don't ya think? Mhm. I'm an egotistical narcissist and i like being one, and would really like to see people out there respect my being. I do not approach, but am very approachable and friendly. I am open for touching as long as you know all the right spots to touch me in (anywhere along my spine). I am straight, sorry guys. I like to think of myself as "half broken" making bisexuality a "fixed" preference, yet i really don't think there is a right and wrong to preferences. Be forward with me. Reach out, touch me, put your hands on me, hug me, nuzzle me, do as your wish, i am very open to forwardness. I don't need to know your last name before intercourse.</p>
 
<p>I am STD free!</p>
 
<p>Why do i like to call myself a vanilla? Because i like playing innocent, no matter how experienced i get, i will always consider myself to be inexperienced and very new, simply because that's the mindset i prefer to be in. I am not a virgin, i know how to handle a woman, and i happen to be a sadomasochist, but that doesn't mean i don't like looking cute and feeling innocent! So, i will continue to call myself a vanilla, and think in the mindset of one. It makes roleplay much more fun when finding a woman who wants to "currupt" me.&nbsp;:]</p>
 
<p>On the whole slave/master/pet/owner thing, i consider myself someone who would rather be in charge of a full time pet, or pets, rather than being a pet to someone else... Sorry, i just think i think too much to be a pet. I'd be a terrible slave. Although i do feel more comfortable owning a harem of my own, i'd prefer the girls to be much smaller than me, and well i'm already a small guy so think about it. As for dominant/submissive, i consider myself a submissive. It goes along with the whole "looking cute and playing innocent" kind of thing. It's not so much that i like being "controlled" it's more or less i like to feel "more innocent" than my partner, i guess. I prefer bottom. I like to wear white, as it is an innocent color, but don't worry, under all that white is the body of a sadomasochist. I love watching people get hurt, people hitting, and i even enjoy enduring physical pain.. I like to test my limits to see how much i can take whether it be being spanked or cut. I also really like to hit, smacking, spanking, whipping. I'm all for it. I'm a switch when it comes to sadomasochism and dom/sub. But for anything else, i'm mostly sub, bottom, etc. If being part of a pet/owner relationship, i'd definitely be the owner. I'm not looking for an owner, perhaps a mentor or mistress, but not an owner. I own myself. =p</p>
 
<p>I am very into ageplay and roleplaying! I love school scenes, incest scenes, teacher/student, mommy/son, all that good stuff. Oh yeah, tons more, i just can't think of any right now because my brain is all... blah. Anyway, in these said scenes, is where i prefer to play the innocent role, the younger role, smaller, inexperienced. Why? Iunno, just because. This doesn't necessarily mean i want to be bottom all the time, just in roleplay, or dress up. If it's coming down to BDSM, then yeah i'll probably want to be in control. My body has a problem with feeling pain... hehe.</p>
 
<p>If i give off a "my shit never stinks" vibe, then good! That is the vibe i prefer to give off. Does it mean i think i'm better than everyone else? No. It's not a mentality issue. In fact, i prefer to think everyone is equal, no special treatment. Why do i go around with an egotistical attitude? Perhaps it's because i'm young, and i'm going through that "i'm invincible" stage, or maybe it's because it helps distract me from depression, bi polar, ADHD and other dumb shit. Either way, if you choose to not get along with me because of this attitude, i will let people know. I understand if this attitude may be a turn off to you, but you don't see me discriminating against people because of how they act. I accept everyone, no matter what their "faults" are.</p></blockquote>
 
 
===Fetishes===
(Again from his FetLife Profile)
 
<blockquote style="font-style:italic;"><p>Into: 24/7 (everything to do with it), age play (everything to do with it), cuddles (receiving), dildos (watching), gangbangs (giving), kidnapping roleplay (receiving), lingerie (watching), making home movies (everything to do with it), masturbation (everything to do with it), multiple orgasms (giving), nipples (watching), oral sex (receiving), role play (everything to do with it), schoolgirl uniform (watching), sex in public (everything to do with it), sex with strangers (giving), talking dirty, tearing off clothing (everything to do with it), toys (watching), vibrators (watching), voyeurism (receiving).</p>
 
<p>Curious about: anal sex, bondage, chastity devices, cross dressing, fisting, humiliation, master/slave.</p></blockquote>
 
==Profiles==
*'''[http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=firegxlol FireGoron's YouTube]'''
*'''[http://myspace.com/firegoron FireGoron's MySpace]'''
*[http://www.freewebs.com/Malchi/ FireGoron's Furcadia Charater]
*[http://firegoron.newgrounds.com/ FireGoron's Newgrounds account]
*[http://fetlife.com/users/416965/ FireGoron's FetLife Profile]
*[http://www.google.com/profiles/firegxlol/ FireGoron's Google Account] (Has a lot of links to other of his websites)
*[http://picasaweb.google.com/firegxlol/ FireGoron's Picasa Account]
 
{{Crap}}

Latest revision as of 11:25, 15 August 2018

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