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''Note: this is an article about a former Encyclopedia Dramatica user who assisted in selling out ED 1.0 to Jewcorp.''
[[File:KillHamstergetstold2.png|thumb|right|Killhamster gets [[pwned]] after whoring for [[girlvinyl]]'s [[shit]] website.]]
'''Killhamster''' is a former ED [[sysop]] on .com who suffocates hamsters to death by firing them up his rectum. It has been speculated that the sheer amount of hamster carcasses lodged within the gaping expanse of his rectum has given him multiple [[White Knighting|syndromes]]. He is part of the group that [[Sellout|sold out]] and created [[OhInternet]]; however, he has recently attempted to atone for this treachery by making improvements to [[Operation Restoration|the current and best version]] of ED. He has recently been spotted preaching the virtues of censorship and taunting the [[internet hate machine]].
'''Killhamster''', as the name suggest, struggles daily to fight the [[furluminati]]. [http://killhamster.livejournal.com/2005/04/10/] Should he fail, then they will take over the world!
He is part of the group that [[Sellout|sold out]] and created [[OhInternet]].
He's also a retarded social justice warrior, hanging around [[Shit Reddit Says]] in the vague hope of fucking one of the other mongoloids there. A present or former [[Goon]], Killhamster writes about goony things and that [[Bitcoin|fake Internet money]] the young 'uns like so much.
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
==Killhamster's Hypocrisy==
==Rape robot, romano, roquefort, and ricotta==
<div align="center">
[[Image:Hamster_-_next_to_cat.jpg|thumb|right|An example of '''Killhamsterian''' suicidal thought]]
KillHamster is probably a robot who supports and laughs at [[rape]]. This robot is rumored to contain vast stores of cheese expressing various emotional states. One explanation is that he is keeping the cheeses captive to show the feelings that he himself cannot express. Yet, due to the presence of what is known as '''dead cheese''', this is not plausible. Rather, the '''Killhamster''' robot is instead elucidating upon the most postmodern of contemporary thoughts. Through abject symbolism, he is expressing the crux of conscious existence.
|<@killhamster>yes<br/>
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
<@killhamster>it is mature to try to destroy our website<br/>
According to '''Killhamsterian''' thought, self awareness implies a feeling of general apprehension. Anxiety leads to the individual's confrontation with nothingness and with the impossibility of finding ultimate justification for the choices he or she must make. Indeed, why conclude "I think therefore I am" when we are precognizing the entity known as "I"? Such assumptions, according to '''Killhamster''' should not be made. '''Killhamsterian''' thought is explicitly atheistic and pessimistic; it is a declaration that human beings require a rational basis for their lives but are unable to achieve one, and thus human life is a “futile passion.”
<@killhamster>very much so|Killhamster, thinking it's mature to [[delete fucking everything|attempt coup of ED]].
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
|<@killhamster>i don't think you get it<br/>
For this reason, [[rape]] must be laughed at -- not because of the overt beauty inferred therein, but because existence itself is cerebral [[rape]]. Mankind must step inside the nothingness and laugh at its pain in order to create an elevated nothingness that penetrates the darkness of our foreboding hearts.
<@killhamster>it's annoying to have something i worked on taken down once a week because fake ED's little bitch leader is obsessed with us and throwing little skiddie tantrums|Said without a hint of irony.}}
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
</div>
==Rule rathered==
It was once claimed that KillHamster would rather be anally raped the complete length of a yardstick (hardwood with riveted metal end protectors and hang-up holes on each end, only $33.95) than find his similarly lengthy, detailed contributions arbitrarily '''[[Talk:Amalea|BALETED!]]'''
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
==Ricochet rabbit==
==See Also==
KillHamster and a [[Ricochet rabbit|rabbit]] attempted to create the ridiculous illusion that they are one and the same animal by referring to themselves as each other's "troll account":
Really, one only needs to look at them to realize they are not alike. One is a harmless [[hamster]], the other a harmful rabbit. Don't be fooled!
*[[Beastiality]]
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
If you believed this ludicrous ruse, a [[hamster]] and a rabbit are laughing at you ''right now''.
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
==Rowdiness==
He can be found at several websites almost constantly, including [[LiveJournal]], [[LJDrama]], [[Something Awful]], and the [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. Once a somewhat prolific member of the [http://www.fadetoblack.com/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=index Fade to Black community], he has let this fall by the wayside, as [[Aussieintn]] has chased away any worthwhile posters from their forums. Despite (or perhaps as a result of) his infamy, he has a small cult following, which can be found [http://www.livejournal.com/community/killhamster_fan here].
[[Image:RAPE.gif|center]]
He has been known to go on the occasional [[Alcohol|bender]] which leads to long and incoherent threads that are best read under the influence of [[drugs]]. He may have become [[love|romantically]] linked with [[forunlawfulck]] during one of these inebriated evenings.
==Relations==
==External Links==
KillHamster currently has several brothers with [[LJ]]s.
The most prominent of the Hamster family, other than Kill, is BillHamster. Bill is an active member of the [[indiefucks]] and can sometimes be seen commenting in his hero's journal.
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Note: this is an article about a former Encyclopedia Dramatica user who assisted in selling out ED 1.0 to Jewcorp.
Killhamster is a former ED sysop on .com who suffocates hamsters to death by firing them up his rectum. It has been speculated that the sheer amount of hamster carcasses lodged within the gaping expanse of his rectum has given him multiple syndromes. He is part of the group that sold out and created OhInternet; however, he has recently attempted to atone for this treachery by making improvements to the current and best version of ED. He has recently been spotted preaching the virtues of censorship and taunting the internet hate machine.
He's also a retarded social justice warrior, hanging around Shit Reddit Says in the vague hope of fucking one of the other mongoloids there. A present or former Goon, Killhamster writes about goony things and that fake Internet money the young 'uns like so much.
Killhamster's Hypocrisy
“
<@killhamster>yes
<@killhamster>it is mature to try to destroy our website
<@killhamster>very much so
<@killhamster>it's annoying to have something i worked on taken down once a week because fake ED's little bitch leader is obsessed with us and throwing little skiddie tantrums