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| | | #REDIRECT[[Weed]] |
| {{internets}}
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| [[Image:haze2.jpg|thumb|[[Marijuana|What people generally grow in their garden]].]]
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| '''Gardening''' is one of many [[IRL]] [[Fetishes|hobbies]] that [[NORP]]s do. Gardening does not require a whole lot of skill or money. It is therefore good for [[newfag]]s. It can be done outside or indoors.
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| == What grows in a garden ==
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| * [[Weed]]
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| * [[Flower|Flowers]]
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| * [[Chocolate]]
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| * [[Tobacco]]
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| * [[Corn]]
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| * [[Vegetable|Vegetables]]
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| * [[Fruit]]
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| * [[Bush|Bushes]]
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| * [[Cactus|Succulents]]
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| * [[Green Onions]]
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| == Types of Gardens ==
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| [[Image:FlowerRape.gif|thumb|Typical plant found in a Japanese Garden]]
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| * '''Japanese Garden''' - Japanese gardens are set up by [[weeaboos]] and [[16 year old girls]] who read alot of [[yaoi]] manga. They are generaly composed of atleast one Cherry Tree or Bonsai plant. It is very easy to fail at this type of garden as failure to prune some plants may end in overgrowth and plant [[tentacle rape]].
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| * '''Rock Garden''' - Rock gardens are for people who fail at gardening, period.
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| * '''Water Garden''' - Water gardens are a great way to attract mosquitoes who will eat you alive!
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| * '''Succulent Garden''' - Succulents are plants that require very little water to grown. The most popular succulents are cactus. Some succulents may very good houseplants, but very bad dildos. Be sure to let [[your mom]] know that.
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| * '''Vegitable Garden''' - The most popular form of garden. Perennial favorites include Tomatoes, Peppers, Carrots, Sunflowers, Corn, Squash (including pumpkin), Cabbage, Beats, Turnups, and Onions. Constant care is necessary. Plants should be spaced out so that weeds don't [[rape|choke]] plants. [[You]] will probably never do this form of garden, and if you do, you will lose interest and there will be a big hole in the lawn. Better stick with letting [[mexicans]] at some farm that uses leathal doses of toxic pesticides and herbacides applied to [[HAX|genetically modified]] crops, you [[hippie]].
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| * '''Flower Garden''' - Flower gardens are planted by [[gays]] and misanthopic [[women]].
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| ** '''Rose Garden''' - A subtype of the Flower Garden. More popular than a regular flower garden, and surprisingly less gay because THORNS are involved. Be sure to handle your roses without gloves on. AND DON'T SAY DESU!
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| * '''Orchard''' - Orchards are used to raise trees that bear fruit. The average Apple Tree only grows to be about 4 to 6 feet tall. Some citrus plants are cultivated to be accessable to reach, but many of them require a fruit picker, which is just a stick with a net on it. Orchards take forever to grow and can die very easily from not enough water, too much water, cold, and heat. They are the [[iPhone]] of the garden generes.
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| * '''Vineyard''' - Vineyards are popular among [[yuppies]], especially if they saw Sideways. Even if the own just one grape vine, they will demand that a [[mexican]] harvest the grapes.
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| * '''Hydroponic gardens''' - Grow plants indoors, especially if you don't want the cops to find your weed stash! To decrease suspicion, you may have to be a damn dirty hippie and hook up the electrical system to a solar pannel system on the roof. Uberhippies would also use a [[piss|rainwater]] collection system for irrigation.
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| == Things that kill gardens ==
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| * Cold
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| * Heat
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| * Too much water.
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| * Not enough water.
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| * Weeds that can't be smoked.
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| * Diseases
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| * Nosy neighbors
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| * Dogs
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| * Cats
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| * Squirrels
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| * Rabbits
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| * Large birds that like to tear shit up.
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| * Insects (exceptions include bees, but [[HAARP|they are disappearing for some strange reason]])
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| * Neglect
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| * The Cops
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| * Round-up
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| * [[Your Mom]]
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| == See also ==
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| * [[Farming]]
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| * [[Weed]]
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| * [[Mexicans]]
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| {{Why is There an Article}}
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| {{life}}
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| [[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Fandom Stuff]]
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