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AQ Worlds: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 03:43, 4 July 2011
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AQ Worlds is going to be fixed up later... So stay tuned! |
— Artix | ||
Adventure Quest Worlds is a generically-titled American MMORPG with the sole purpose of sucking away your younger sibling's life and money.
OFFICE MAX
It was a dark and stormy night in the secret underground facility and the AE team made up of evil jews. "I have one of the greatest money grubbing idea's jewkind has had since banks!" Announced Artix to his legion of scam artists. "We'll pose as a free flash MMORPG and lure in all the poor kids who can't afford World of Warcraft. Than we'll suck away the few dollars they have!" and at the moment of agreement amongst the Jewish community, AQWorlds was born.
AQWorlds is irreplaceable amongst the gaming community, and is played by over four people. AQW is also a crowd space for many scene kids, skater kids, and pedobear. These are actual kids, so destroy them before they can evolve into their teenager form. The game has a very special kind of humor, much like an adult or FBI agent trying to relate to 4channers.
— Artix | ||
Despite the fact that it's totally flash based they manage to lag your four thousand dollar PC more than Crysis just by adding a handful of pets into the game. AQworlds also shows the most advanced security system on the internet, which is made up of schoolyard tactics of bluffing in the design notes, which is also full of shameless self advertisement.
Story
The game follows a story of an epic battle between your player and the forces of chaos, which is ironically named considering its 100% predictable.
Every Friday they release the same exact thing over and over again, and is almost beating Final Fantasy in the field of repetition.
You get news of new Chaos Lords and have to fight thousands of easy creatures before you have to fight an animal or myth themed miniboss and finally the Chaos Lord.
Next friday you either get filler, despite the fact Artix said he wants to finish the main storyline as soon as possible, or you get the same thing repeated.
The only benefit to this is you get some pretty nice looking stuff, but then you realize it doesn't do anything and is just there for dress-up purposes.
Infact, pretty much all weapons and classes are exactly the same, meaning that this game is pretty much Stardoll with combat.
Every now and then the staff like to put a twist on things and release on Thursday instead of Friday! Wow!
Classes
Mage/Sorcerer: Holy fucking shit guise I how original is this thing? Liek I never seen it in MMO before. Ridiculously overpowered and will ass-fuck everything by pressing two buttons.
Warrior/Warlord: The ever unoriginal class newfags pick. Also overpowered as fuck and will rape everything in sight if used right.
Rogue/Renegade: Dodgefag ninja.
Ninja/Assassin: See above.
Healer/Acolyte: Christfag that heals shit. Durr.
Dragonslayer: A slightly shittier Warrior that works on Scalefags.
(Beta)Berserker: Some overpowered shit that you have to pay Jew for. There's a free one but you need to be a gay oldfag to get it.
DoomKnight: Expensive and underpowered WoW rip you have to pay Jew for.
Paladin: A fucked up aberration that happened when Artix fucked his dad]. The class got fisted by the moderator Furore who bawwed when it raped him in a fight.
Rustbucket: Moar liek cumbucket amirite? Broken and more useless than a woman out of the kitchen/bed. COMES WITH TWO OTHER CLONES (Enforcer and ProtoSartorium) HOW COOL!
ClawSuit: A fat fuck nigger Santa that shoves it's chode in little girls. Removed from the game because of bawwing players.
Leprechaun: Drunk-ass Irish cunt version of Rogue/Renegade.
Bard: Some laggy underpowered shit that the creators threw together as an excuse for a release.
Shaman: Overpowered and overused, Shaman class bent over any sort of balance in the game and fucked it harder than a nigger in a room full of 12 year old girls.
(Ass)Pirate/Alpha Pirate: Rogue with moar gay in it. See Leo.
Guardian: Some weak-ass shit that nobody uses.
Dragonlord: FUCK YOU, I'M A DRAGON!
Starlord: An overpowered dodgefag that lags.
Chronomancer: An overpriced class for Jew's who spent money on a fucking hentai calender full of Beleen's tits.
CardClasher: A shitty Yu-gi-oh with pic's of Beleen's tit's on each card. Fap.
Shaman: A gay class that's soul purpose is to suck dick on the battlefield.
Necromancer Was okay in their PTR. Now it's main use is to summon dildo-pets for personal usage.
Ranger Requires butt-hurt rank 10 to get, pointless to rank up since it only has like one good move, only OP's and faggots (like they're not the same thing, amirite) use this.
Famous People
- User: An emo suicidal British cock sucker who was once one of Elnaith's garbage men of the GD (Arch Knights Fags) before he hung himself from his .5 inch dick and non existent balls in his closet for being such a loser and queer.
- Hancok: No-life sandnigger who spend his time dating girls online and paying for the same thing over and over. He gets "hacked" every few months, deleting all his items and crying to the fags on the game's forum. Hancok also loves to talk about his "stalkers" which are probably people he begged to "stalk" him.
- Brittanyy: A two-faced cyberdater bitch who sucks mod dick really hard for personal favors. She claims to be "16" and lives in "Toronto, Canada". She's an ugly brace-faced bitch who online fucked about 12 nerds to get them to stand up for her in arguments.
- Falconblaze: Some faggot who thinks he can hack and blow up computers and shit. A furfag who cyberdates and probably cries when he masturbates to small furry animals. Telling him he can't hack will make him shit bricks and rage at you.
- Picosa/Wept: Some random bitch who snitched on a bunch of people to get an item from the corrupt mod faggots. However she has huge tits which we all want to feel so she's kinda cool, she also has been whored out to over 50 AQW "men" in short lived relationships.
- Reed91/Adam Scott: A Couple Furfags that originated from Reed91 to his Doppleganger Adam Scott, Adam Scott is actually a Pro Golfer. So much for Originality. They are Awesome, they both venture through The Internet like it's Nothing.
- B4mb4m: The Moglin
defendermolester of AQ Worlds. Also a fail-troll affiliated with other fuck-heads on this game. - Stealthy Cupcake: At an impressive ten times gayer then b4mb4m, stealthy enjoys playing AQW, pretending he has friends out of his 600+ twitter followers, pretending he has a life, and pretending he is a founder, when in fact he's just a second chumpholder with a icy naval commander and a faggoty J6 Birthday hat which he is NEVER seen without for fear of someone seeing his fugly ass pixelated face, stealthy thinks he is one cool bro, but in reality his name is among the dumbest pieces of shit ever thought up and he is a chode sucking choob.
- Indestructable/"Messiah": Known as "the messiah" of this shitty game, this guy's soul purpose is to post abandon thread jpegs on their shitty Forums. He also befriends the people on this list for "teh lulz". He is just some faggot irl.
- Cicero/"Gingy": Some ginger-haired fuck that believes he's on top of the world because he stands in the same spot of the same room bitching and complaining at other fagots all day everyday.
- Jason3: Some worthless troll-wannabe that you see AFK in the same spot trying* to be cool when you log in on the member server. He's also stated to be married to like 4 other male 40-year old players in-game.
- Techno: A retard, in short. He tries to troll as he claims to be the god of PvP (which he is only number 100/100, Wowees!) When most people beat him like 3 times in a row in-which he claims them to be using "Level 100 enhancements" when the games level cap is fourty, in general, he is a faggot in general, his brother is cooler than him and he barely plays the game in general, he thinks he is all that when really he is just some suicidal dork that needs friends but whenever he gets friends, he gets them banned or they begin to hate him because he loses in PvP against them.
- Razgriz/"Iyerris": A gay AK who spends half his whole time pretending to have sex with his shitty swords. The rest of the time he spends jacking off while begging the staff to add more shitty swords. Often can be seen socializing with foot licking gaytards and 40-year old guys pretending to be girls.
- Carnax3222: A fucking arrogant bitch,whos online either wasted or high who brags about all the chicks hes bangged and hopes to bang in real life.
- Mytho": An alcoholic Dane who constantly chases them pixelated wimminz.
- Aleks Real Warrior: A quest loading Miltonius whore who enjoys taking big black nigger cock up his ass so much he decided to constantly wear his quest loaded nigger void everyday to show his love for penis and joy of raping Miltonius Items, although he sometimes uses them as anal dildos to stretch his spent asshole out.
The Staff:
- Cysero: Where to begin, Cysero LOVES his money and will do anything to get his queer hands on it,from releasing pricy Adventure Coin item's each week and jacking off to the Limited Quantity Shops as they drop in item stock, Cysero tries to do everything he can to put a price tag on each release. He has little to no concern about the quality of the game and when Lolicon artist Miltonius (now known as Nulgath a big fucktard anal probing bug alien) made a zone better than his beloved tree house, he had it destroyed and thrown to the non members. He also enjoys masturbating with his left tube sock.
- Artix krieger: The monster behind this jewish program used to harvest the minds, souls, and pockets of young children and Brazilians of all ages quite similar to the late Walt Disney. Once every year Fartix checks back in on how AQ Worlds is doing after he finishes counting his money, fucking prostitutes and OED's Kimberly in his Doomknight room (built entirely off of players cash) only to find that to his dissapointment, Cysero has not released enough overpriced AC items this year to fatten up his wallet (to make more doomknight rooms and pay more prostitutes when Beleen isn't available). Thus, Cysero is beaten in front of the rest of his staff (slaves) and in order to make a further example, promptly made to give Lord Fartix a hot blowjob. In order to boost profits and make himself smile with contentment knowing money is being made on that one day he checks back in, Artix devised the upholder system so that every year when he glimpses at AQ World's homepage, he feel at ease to see the nitwits scrambling to upgrade and buy AC's so that they too can have a gaylord boyscout badge and feel a little more like Indestructable...by about 40th upholder.
- Beleen: A slut everyone thinks is hot despite her piercings and creepy ass smile, but she has big boobs that everyone wants to feel, so she too is okay.
- Elnaith: An online ladies man who spends all day trying to please sluts like Brittanyy. The only boob he ever touched IRL is his mother's and all his friends are 12 year olds who play Dungeouns and Dragons in his basement, he also faps each time to the severe warnings he gives out to dem silly trolls on the GD.
- Alaina/Venus Some dumb bitch that cried on the forums to be a mod and got her shitty wish, she also bans people for no fucking reason.
- TLD4: Some faggot from the forums who lied about being 18 (Which he is really 12), to be a moderator and get every oldfag weapon and armor/class.
- Dage the Evil: Retarded WoW fanboy who believes "art" is made by making things black and shoving skulls all over it. he tlaks lik dis nd rages wen u dont like his shitty remake design shit.
- Xyo: This guy is just bad.Known to have a gay relationship with everyone who plays Aqworlds.
- Zheenx: This faggot Brazilian is only good at making Poncho-personal armors- and sucking dick. (Literally! He posted a video of himself sucking another mans cock!)
- Galathno: He feeds on other's rage, views the game 24/7 and masturbates on Beleen's porn. He sucks Moderators cocks for being close to staff. He's a faggot.
Features
- Have up to 4 Different attacks!
- Spend hours grinding in order to get to
level 10level 40. - Spend hours performing the same "kill X amount of monster" quest so you can afford a weapon you aren't a high enough level to use!
- Communicate with canned responses!
- Have a pet that doesn't help in anyway and bog down the frame rate!
- Take 5 minutes to rest and heal after every single fight!
- Participate in recycled holiday events!
- Engage in annoying "NOU PROVE ME WRONG" religious debate with Baron von Bloodlust!
No music!They have it now! Sounds like a duck and a goose being compressed together!- Shitty sound effects!
- Spend 50$ a year so you can actually do something!
- Wait 10 seconds to switch to another screen!
- Be ignored by high level 40's!
- Be asked to join a group 15 times after saying no!
- Having to listen to Leo for hours on end!
- Covering up cleavage on an NPC because it was too horny for Firearmed!
- Having a dildo as a quest reward!
- Annoying typos!
- Hardly any spoons!
- See cleavage and bare legs on every girl character!
- Incredible animation by Miltonius, famous lolicon/porn animator from the internetz!
- Have your own shitty cabaret show!
- Sucking corrupt moderator dick for favors!
- Get the shit annoyed out of you by Brazilians!
- Brittanyy giving free cybersex. Just type "/w brittanyy <message>" for this feature!
- Be able to talk to the tight ass jewfag known as Dracorath!
- Get banned by Xyo for not being part of his army of mindless sex slaves known as his fanbase!
- Be able to be a part of Dage's "Legion" filled with activities like prodding, sucking and stroking his inflated ego.
- Making masturbation jokes about Hancok's name.
- Listening to AE's top fans! "algeum br?"
- Listen to Cysero all day and night!
- 95 percent AC releases each week!
- 4 1/2 percent non member, and half a percent member!
Forums
A cornucopia of pedos, nerds, emos, kids way too young to be on a forum, furries, and dudes who take this game way too seriously make up the pits that are the forums. Members are surprisingly hostile to "noobs". Prime trolling material. [1]
Porn by Miltonius. And also what this MMO is based on. Hentai much?
Download link for the rape scene.
One of Miltonius' many whore designs.
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AQ Worlds is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
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AQ Worlds is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |