HorseNews

This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

HorseNews is an IRC news bot written in Python that updates the channel with news related to horses. Some argue that the malware bundled with KaZaA is more useful than HorseNews. Judging by the logs below it seems that HorseNews was probably created by a baby with Klinefelter's syndrome. There are estimated to be 5 people, worldwide, that are interested in horse-related news and have the internet. 6 of those 5 people use Google News search instead of HorseNews.

The bot uses an RSS feed parser and an IRC client library. The RSS feed parser checks Google news every minute for new horse related stories. If any story that appears in the RSS feed is not present in HorseNews' cache, the link and title of the news story will be messaged to the channel(s) configured in the bot.

In addition to up-to-the-minute updates on breaking horse news, the bot also works on demand. If a user messages the channel with "!horse", HorseNews will post the last 10 horse news headlines to the channel. Each headline will be prefixed with a digit from 0 to 9. If a user wants to read more about a story, they can message the channel with !horse [digit] and then HorseNews will message the channel with the URL.

Thank God for HorseNews

Jan 04 18:37:47 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.wral.com/news/strange/story/1126742/
Jan 04 18:42:49 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.telegram.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070104/APA/701043550
Jan 04 18:47:50 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2771680
Jan 04 18:47:50 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.kansas.com/mld/kansas/news/weird_news/16384907.htm
Jan 04 18:52:51 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/01/04/national/a151837S81.DTL
Jan 04 18:57:52 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.localnewswatch.com/jordanfalls/stories/index.php?action=fullnews&id=40034
Jan 04 19:02:53 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery - KSL-TV -> http://www.ksl.com/?nid=333&sid=777471
Jan 04 19:02:53 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery - The Jackson Citizen-Patriot -> http://www.mlive.com/newsflash/national/index.ssf?/base/national-7/1167953055301140.xml&storylist=national
Jan 04 19:07:55 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.casperstartribune.net/articles/2007/01/04/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 04 19:12:59 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2007/01/04/1870s_dead_horse_photo_sparks_mystery
Jan 04 19:18:00 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery - Pioneer Times-Journal -> http://www.onelocalnews.com/pioneertimesjournal/ViewArticle.aspx?id=40034&source=2
Jan 04 19:18:00 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.siouxcityjournal.com/articles/2007/01/04/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 04 19:23:01 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.denverpost.com/watercooler/ci_4951130
Jan 04 19:33:05 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.bismarcktribune.com/articles/2007/01/04/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 04 20:05:45 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/01/04/ap/strange/mainD8MEOMT81.shtml
Jan 04 20:30:50 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.wtopnews.com/index.php?nid=456&sid=1023480
Jan 04 20:55:59 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16384907.htm
Jan 04 21:01:00 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/16384907.htm
Jan 04 21:09:21 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery - Wilkes Barre Times-Leader -> http://www.timesleader.com/mld/timesleader/16384907.htm
Jan 04 21:19:24 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.ohio.com/mld/beaconjournal/16384907.htm
Jan 04 21:24:25 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/04/AR2007010401317.html
Jan 04 21:29:26 <HorseNews>     1870s photo of man on dead horse sparks national humor -> http://www.wbay.com/Global/story.asp?S=5894201
Jan 04 22:42:28 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.cumberlink.com/articles/2007/01/04/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 04 22:47:32 <HorseNews>     1870s Photo Of Man On Dead Horse Sparks National Interest -> http://www.channel3000.com/news/10674336/detail.html
Jan 04 23:12:44 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.theconservativevoice.com/ap/article.html?mi=D8MEOMT81&apc=9024
Jan 05 01:41:22 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.casperstartribune.net/articles/2007/01/05/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 05 02:10:13 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.localnewswatch.com/benton/stories/index.php?action=fullnews&id=40125
Jan 05 02:15:43 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery - Pioneer Times-Journal -> http://www.onelocalnews.com/pioneertimesjournal/ViewArticle.aspx?id=40125&source=2
Jan 05 02:19:35 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.localnewsleader.com/brocktown/stories/index.php?action=fullnews&id=40125
Jan 05 02:22:03 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.newsone.ca/hinesbergjournal/ViewArticle.aspx?id=40125&source=2
Jan 05 02:32:05 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.helenair.com/articles/2007/01/05/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 05 03:27:51 <HorseNews>     1870s dead horse photo sparks mystery -> http://www.tri-cityherald.com/24hour/weird/story/3463981p-12676288c.html
Jan 05 03:32:52 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2007/01/05/ap/strange/d8meomt81.txt
Jan 05 04:48:14 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national ... -> http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/01/05/america/NA_GEN_US_Dead_Horse.php
Jan 05 05:57:57 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national ... - Asheville Citizen-Times -> http://www.citizen-times.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200770105010
Jan 05 06:23:58 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national interest -> http://www.cantonrep.com/index.php?ID=328464&Category=18
Jan 05 08:38:56 <HorseNews>     1870s Dead Horse Photo Sparks Mystery -> http://www.thehorse.com/ViewArticle.aspx?ID=8605
Jan 05 08:52:06 <HorseNews>     1870s photo of man on dead horse sparks national humor -> http://www.chippewa.com/articles/2007/01/05/ap-state-wi/d8mendeg3.txt
Jan 05 10:45:59 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national ... -> http://www.komotv.com/news/national/5098431.html
Jan 05 11:16:07 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national ... -> http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20070105-0037-deadhorse.html
Jan 05 23:33:49 <HorseNews>     PHOTO OF A MAN ON A DEAD HORSE FROM THE 1870S SPARKS INTEREST ... -> http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?fArticleId=3615312
Jan 05 23:53:54 <HorseNews>     Photo of a man on a dead horse from the 1870s sparks national ... -> http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20070105-0037-deadhorse.html

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Featured article March 10, 2008
Preceded by Dianne Thorley	HorseNews	Succeeded by Gas Mask Girl