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A '''Falcon Punch''' can be carried out by any individual with sufficient [[Balls|testicular fortitude]], not just Captain Falcon. It has been long-established as the safest and most effective way to [[abort]] a [[pregnancy|teen pregnancy]].
A '''Falcon Punch''' can be carried out by any individual with sufficient [[Balls|testicular fortitude]], not just Captain Falcon. It has been long-established as the safest and most effective way to [[abort]] a [[Pregnant Loli|teen pregnancy]].
==How To Falcon Punch==
==How To Falcon Punch==
[[File:Falcon.jpg|thumb|right|Falcon Punch even exsists in Ice Skating (even if it is a sport for fags)]]
A successful Falcon Punch requires focusing mass amounts of pure [[pwn]] into one's fist, before hitting the target as hard as fucking possible - hopefully dislodging several vital organs along the way. The Falcon Punch is most often used to [[Abortion|end the untimely pregnancy]] of a loved one in a humane manner, especially if the loved one happens to be [[Jailbait|under the age of sixteen]]. It is also used often to destroy idiots that are [[Ruining the internet|killing the internet]]s, through a primitive, but effective text form.
A successful Falcon Punch requires focusing mass amounts of pure [[pwn]] into one's fist, before hitting the target as hard as fucking possible - hopefully dislodging several vital organs along the way. The Falcon Punch is most often used to [[Abortion|end the untimely pregnancy]] of a loved one in a humane manner, especially if the loved one happens to be [[Jailbait|under the age of sixteen]]. It is also used often to destroy idiots that are [[Ruining the internet|killing the internet]]s, through a primitive, but effective text form.
Carrying out an [[IRL]] Falcon Punch is a simple procedure done in a few steps:
Carrying out an [[IRL]] Falcon Punch is a simple procedure done in a few steps:
1. Pull fist back screaming: FARRUUKON...
#Pull fist back screaming: FARRUUKON...
#Thrust fist forward while also screaming: ...PAAUUUUUUNNNCHI!!!!1
#[[????]]
#[[PROFIT]]
2. Thrust fist forward whilst also screaming: ...PAAUUUUUUNNNCHI!!!!1
Caution: Expect arm to catch fire in the shape of a bird if done correctly.
3. [[????]]
4. [[PROFIT]]
Warning: Expect arm to catch fire in the shape of a bird if done correctly.
Image:Falcon_punch.jpg|Solving teen pregnancy, one fiery punch at a time.
Image:Falcon_punch.jpg|Solving teen pregnancy, one fiery punch at a time.
Image:Falcon_Collider.png|TRUTH: The [[Large Hadron Collider|LHC]] is actually just a big tube where two Falcon Punches will be collided into each other, bringing about [[Rapture|the end times]].
Image:Falcon_Collider.png|TRUTH: The [[Large Hadron Collider|LHC]] is actually just a big tube where two Falcon Punches will be collided into each other, bringing about [[Rapture|the end times]].
A Falcon Punch can be carried out by any individual with sufficient testicular fortitude, not just Captain Falcon. It has been long-established as the safest and most effective way to abort a teen pregnancy.
A successful Falcon Punch requires focusing mass amounts of pure pwn into one's fist, before hitting the target as hard as fucking possible - hopefully dislodging several vital organs along the way. The Falcon Punch is most often used to end the untimely pregnancy of a loved one in a humane manner, especially if the loved one happens to be under the age of sixteen. It is also used often to destroy idiots that are killing the internets, through a primitive, but effective text form.
Carrying out an IRL Falcon Punch is a simple procedure done in a few steps:
Pull fist back screaming: FARRUUKON...
Thrust fist forward while also screaming: ...PAAUUUUUUNNNCHI!!!!1
Even the great adventurer Link can Falcon Punch.
Snake wishes he was as cool as Captain Falcon, but he fails.
HAHA DISREGARD THAT THAT'S A RAPTOR BOOST
Animated .gif perfect for a forum fag's avatar.
Planned Parenthood approved!
Solving teen pregnancy, one fiery punch at a time.
TRUTH: The LHC is actually just a big tube where two Falcon Punches will be collided into each other, bringing about the end times.
Literal version.
Animated Version from Miori No Hibi.
Vintage punch
Taxidermy style
