Way before the internets

Way before the internets was the period of history before before the internets (sic). Persons alive at this time included:

• Jesus
• Van Halen
• George Lucas
• Chuck Norris
• God
• The Titanic
• Chris Benoit (lulz)
• Kittens
• Your mom

Scientists hypothesize the internet was created in a big bang. The common theory is that prior to internet, space was infinitely dark, like the souls of HxC emo kids, and matter was merely a dream.