- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
The Completionist: Difference between revisions
imported>Fleacollerindustry2 Quick grammar cleanup in header |
m Reverted edit by Kitchen Brigade (talk) to last revision by YaroslavTV Tag: Rollback |
| (4 intermediate revisions by 4 users not shown) | |
(No difference)
| |
Latest revision as of 12:55, 18 August 2024
Jirard Khalil aka The Completionist aka I Am My Own Best Friend is a YouTube "personality" who has been working on a video series where he—get this—completes video games. I've been working on a YouTube series where I—hold your hats—go to bed then wake up refreshed in the morning. Million subscribers, please.
Maybe if he was just a normal literally who YouTube gamer, we wouldn't be here. But Jirard is no ordinary gamer YouTuber. You see, Jirard's story is in fact a really touching story about a boy and his Mom. A boy who has effectively stuffed his own mother, put her on display, and has been charging two bits (and/or subs) a gander. Oh, sorry, he called it "medical research donation"... but it's the same thing, right? PS, did you see her autopsy report? That ought to shut the haters up.
But before we get to that story, we should tell the story about how we got here.
🥉 Copper Trophy: Your best friend is no longer your best friend
The first 120 episodes of the "The Conmpletionist" series involved his friend, Greg Wilmot. Long story short Jirard didn't realize that you shouldn't be working with anyone without a contract, especially on a series that can make a lot of money, so when Greg wanted to leave the show and remove himself from all the episodes, Jirard had no choice but to take all the episodes offline, destroying that revenue stream.
I wonder why someone's best friend would suddenly want to stop being their friend? Oh who knows.
Anyways, without 120 episodes to make that sweet sweet dosh... Jirard happily moved on with his life and had no financial worries whatsoever.
Side Quest Activate: G4TV
Still in shock from the death of his mother some 6-7 years before, Jirard finally got some wonderful news: he will be a host on the revived G4TV channel, which was set to air on Comcast in 2021. Sweet!! I mean, to go from Olivia Munn to Jirard?? How could the new G4TV go wrong??
-
"Sweet! I get to hang out with Adam Sessler and Olivia Munn and tell them (as well as millions of other warchers) the harrowing tale of how my mother died from dementia!" -
"oh... uh..... .... wait how am I supposed to tell the audience to donate to IndieLand and the Open Hand Foundation in order to support dementia research??"
🥈 Silver Trophy: You forgot to donate money to dementia research
Since the time his Mother died—which, as a reminder, happened in 2013 due to frontotemporal dementia—Jirard wanted to honor her memory by making sure we never fucking forget that it happened. With that goal in mind, Jirard created a couple platforms for his fans to donate all of their hard earned cash to him dementia research. These includes:
- the Open Hand Foundation - this organization exists to take money from his fans... ....[beat]... ...and then donate it to charity.
- IndieLand - a livestream showcasing discussion about his Mom dying with different indie game developers cut in somewhere between, thus allowing Jirard to take money from his fans... [beat]... ....and then donate it to charity
- a golf tournament where companies like Coca-Cola and Bank of America and other companies can buy sponsorship spots for charity purposes, thus allowing Jirard to take money from his fans... [beat] .... and that's it.
The various ways he did these charity events were done over the subsequent decade-ish or so after his mother's death, and over that time he racked up about US$655k over many many years! Then he kinda.... sat on it.... hoping no one would notice. I mean, he did mention that everything you buy from him will ALL go to charity. He did the thing! He said it! His Mom died! C'mon man, isn't that enough??
And he might have gotten away with all of his evil... uh... non-money donating schemes if it weren't for internet rabble-rouser and legend collector Karl Jobst and his plucky sidekick Mutahar decided that that wasn't cool, and called Jirard out on it. But what Karl and Muta did itself wasn't cool... I mean, Jirard ultimately raised near a million dollars in charity! And then here comes Karl and Muta just irresponsibly making up extraordinary drama for nothing, trying to tear down such a wonderful caring guy like Jirard. Besides, let remember: Jirard's Mom died! Doesn't that mean anything to anyone?
Unfortunately Karl and Mutahar wasn't swayed by such persuasive arguments, and they kept pushing. They provided recipts showing that that near million dollars in charity was just sitting in a bank... probably collecting interest, but definitely not helping any research. Karl and Mutahar showed that the golf tournament organized by Jirard's family probably pocketed the money intended to go to Jirard's Open Hand Foundation. But wah wah wah Karl and Muta Karl and Muta... but hasn't anyone though about Jirard's feeling about all this? His Mom died!!
Well don't worry, Jirard will have a chance to clear his name and everything will go back to the way it used to be...!
🥇 Gold Trophy: Threatening a lawsuit to someone who exposed your mistakes
So after Karl and Muta's original videos came out, it clearly brought up a lot of questions that Jirard had to answer and account for. But that wasn't going to stop his friends, simps and stabs from coming out of the woodworks to defend this person that they only know from YouTube. Afterall, isn't it fair and objectiveto let everyone hear BOTH sides of the story? I mean, sure this one guy shot and killed 15 people in a rampage, but maybe those 15 people called him rude and racists things to them?
Well fret not, Karl, Muta and Jirard agreed to go onto a Discord phone call so that Jirard can tell his side of things to them. There, Jirard took a stand and made sure that Karl and Muta knew what they were about to do if they were to release any video about this. That is to say, if Karl and Muta released their videos, they wouldn't just be taking such a nice and important humanitarian like Jirard down, they would be:
- tarnishing the memory of Jirard's mother
- destroying the lives of 20 people working for Jirard
- damaging the legacy of Jirard's mom
- making the world hate such a upstanding man like Jirard, who already took a hit by being associated with ProJared the Cheater and JonTron the Racist
- muddying the impact that Jirard's mother had on him (and thus, the world)
But most of all, it'll just add more fuel of the internet hate machine: the internet already thinks that if someone isn't squeaky clean, then they're EVIL..., and it's wrong to continue to promote this lack of nuance when it comes to dealing with justice on the internet. So Karl and Muta should do the right thing and break that cycle of promoting a black-and-white view of justice... by letting Jirard off the hook. It's only obvious that that's the right thing to do.
But alas, Karl and Muta cared only for themselves and their selfish intent, and despite coming to an understanding over Discord, Karl and Muta decided to release their videos anyways.
Well Jirard wasn't going to take that slap to the face. He had enough, and he was about to dazzle the haters with an awesome spectacle of receipts and facts that will undoubtedly prove he's right afterall. So on December 9th, 2023, Jirard released a video called "My Response", and it was filled with HARD HITTING FACTS like:
- an audit of 2014
- income and expenses for 2023
- autopsy report of his mother's body (she died, remember?)
Suck it, haters. [mic drop]
I mean, let's ignore the fact that 2014 was probably a clean year and 2023 isn't technically over yet so it's meaningless stats right now, and no one questioned that his mother died of dementia-related causes... but he did drop those hard facts on us in order to combat the LIES of Karl and Muta, so... ...h-he certsinly showed us!
But no sidequest is worth performing without making sure you crossed off ALL the requirements off the list: that's where Jirard revealed he was going to sue Karl for slander. Y'know, because calling out your actual sins is "slanderous". But I guess it's only fair: Jirard's mom DID die from dementia, so I guess that splits the difference here.
Speaking of sidequest requirements, some of the ones Jirard definitely achieved included:
- activated "mistakes were made" non-apology (free space)
- apologizing to anyone who felt they were wronged (only because "apologizing for doing wrong itself" wasn't a requirement for this achievement)
- referencing "mom" or "mother" at least five times ("mom" = four times, "mother" = six times, total = ten times — SSS CLASS!!)
- getting ratioed (last count = 19k likes, 60k dislikes)
- donating money only after being exposed for not donating the money (and only US$600k versus the US$655k+ known to have existed at one point)
- accidentally(??) openly admitting to committing embezzlement (mentioning bits and subs went to offset production costs, despite claiming that they were going all going to charity)
Boy's REALLY pushing for that Platinum Trophy, isn't he??
Side Quest Activate: Beg and Plead With The Aggressors Who Are Trying to Take YOU Down
Some time ago, the phone conversation between Jirard, Karl and Muta was released, basically strongly implying that Jirard was willing to pay Karl and Muta off just so this issue could just disappear. Basically Jirard's attitude was: "Oh, I wouldn't DARE suggest giving you money to make this all go away; what kind of people would I be to do that??" When that didn't work, that's when he thought that threatening legal action against Karl and Muta would be enough to silence them.
Side Quest Activate: Throw Others Under The Bus
During Jirard's call with Karl and Muta, Jirard was clearly in a panic. And what do people do when they're panicking? Why they think clearly and rationally!
...
Lol jk Jirard threw anyone he could under the bus.
Case in point: before the release of the phone all, ProJared was quick to defend Jirard and say that people should not be so quick to assume stories about people are true and instead talk to them first before spreading rumors.
ProJared truly is a great friend! He's sticking up for the people in his life and not dumping them at the first sign of trouble... that is truly commendable. I wonder how Jirard will return the favor?
—ProJared's friend, Jirard, talking about the previous hits to his reputation. | ||
By saying that Jirard's reputation had taken a hit already via his association with ProJared the Cheater, so Karl and Muta should have more sympathy for Jirard and not throw him under the bus.
When everyone was ready to bend over backwards to support Jirard, their hero (like the retarded parasocial stans that they are), Jirard was all the more happy to just throw whoever he can in front of the oncoming bus if it means he can get out of it as scratch-free as possible.
My hero!
🎖️ Platinum Trophy: The Completionist's Career is now Complete
"SHIT did I mention my Mom's death only five times, or six?"
So what's next for this mother's favorite son? Will he get a friendly visit from the IRS? Will he go to JAIL?? I guess we'll find out in due time. But whatever happens, this is effectively the end of the Completionist's career. One might say his career is... complete. Well, one and like 99 other people who also made that joke (it IS a good joke tho). That said, despite all the controversy and all the evidence against Jirard... he was nice to me on a livestream once, so that absolves him of all guilt as far as I'm concerned. Parasocial relationships are a hell of a drug.
But this is why they say "the Devil takes a pleasing shape": the guy dressed up in a cheap suit, greased back hair and a slick smile is not the Devil... rather, it's the person who loves the same things you do, comes off as smart and witty, is the nicest person you've ever met and would give the coat off their back if they could, and... hey, well, his Mom just died, so surely you can afford $25 to help Dementia research, right? Afterall, it's for a good cause!
See, it's one thing to not do business with a scummy used car salesman... at least with the used car salesman, you know what you're getting into, you know you're gonna get a lemon... but honestly, if you have $500 and need a shitty car for a quick bank robbery job that you can drive into the lake later, well, at least you can trust that used car salesman to be that used car salesman. But Jirard? When someone you trusted to be the good guy ends up being just as sleezy as that used car salesman, it feels worse. You feel betrayed, hurt, chewed up and spat out. Worst of all, you feel like you've been made a fool. You though—no, you knew—that you were savvy enough to see the signs of a scumbag trying to rip you off, yet Jirard slid past all of that. And he would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for assholes like Karl Jobst and Mutahar, trying to shake up e-drama for views, who don't care about the lives they're ruining by trying to take down such a sweet and innocent guy like Jirard the Completionist. But that's what happens when the Devil is exposed: it's everyone else's fault, THEY are the ones trying to destroy lives, THEY are the ones who aren't trying about things from a humanitarian angle, it's always THEM who is trying to ruin things for everyone, not good people like Jirard... and if Jirard could be left alone—at least for long enough that people will forget this ever happened (and they will)—then he'll never ever cross-my-heart-hope-to-die do it again. Scout's honor.
It's not to say you can't trust people on the internet. In fact, if there's anyone you can trust, it's us here at Encyclopedia Dramatica! But you need to remember that you are in a parasocial relationship with everyone you know online: you don't know these people, and they sure as fuck don't even know you specifically even exist. In fact, this very concept have actually led to Jirard's downfall. I mean, a normal person with a normal working brain in a similar situation would have realized that even if they don't know the millions of their fans on an individual basis, they still exist as people, so the best way to salvage what little remains of their career would be to just take the L and admit what they did without making any excuses... because other normal human beings respect that as a sign of good faith, and that will therefore help the fans that remain convince the other half that they're NOT as scummy as their actions might have implied. It'll take a while, but continued acts of good faith will only help speed up the recovery process.
But instead, Jirard's foolproof plan was to hope that he could outsmart his audience like someone trying to convince their dog that the invisible ball they just threw was real: just toss in a few well-placed "mistakes were made"s and "I apologize if you felt upset"s (classic non-apology playbook), a sprinkle of confusing and unrelated tax forms (numbers confuse me, so surely they'll confuse everyone else), and worst-case scenario, a dash of hushing (because, naturally, silencing Karl and Muta would mean no one else would dare bring this matter back up again, right?). lol no. In the end, Jirard clearly did not take into account that millions of his fans each have individual working brains and would easily see through his bullshit, thus decimating the remaining shreds of his career. It's almost comical if it weren't so delusional.
...actually fuck that, it IS pretty hilarious.
Now let's be clear: Jirard obviously had no plans or aspirations to steal any of this money. Like, what money he got from these events are all still there, and there is no evidence that any of it disappeared into, say, an overseas bank account or towards something like every single Nintendo 3DS eShop download for the sake of game preservation. It all still exists, so that's a silver lining to this dark cloud. Furthermore, what money he did take---spent to offset production costs---was, in a vacuum, a perfectly legitimate and normal use of donated money.
The problem was more about the fact that he didn't donate any of it to begin with, as well as lied about what the money would be used for ("we're not touching any of it!" only to touch some of it later), only to then not have a good, consistent reason for why he did what he did. Instead of owning up to it all, he spent MORE of his time and energy trying to cover up or justify his actions (like saying he was considering suing Karl and Muta for "slander"). And if this is what he was willing to do when it comes to money, people just aren't willing to take a chance on him personally.
So with all that said, we give the Completionist's career our Completionist rating™ of:
The Life of The Completionist's — New Game Plus (Spoiler Walkthrough)
We may be at the end of the story, but what great game doesn't have a greater prequel story? Like, how did the Mario Brothers meet up? What did Aeris do before she joined SOLDIER? And what was Jirard's life before he became THE COMPLETIONIST?
Well, long story short: his Mom demanded everything from his dad. Whatever she wanted, she got, whether it was a flower shop, five kids, or anything else... and his Dad obliged to his wife's demands, like all good men do. But despite all that, it wasn't enough, she wanted MORE. She wanted to make someone FAMOUS, so they created a media company.
One day some out of work musician from back East came along and told Jirard's mom that he wants to be a star. Well, long story short: that man took Jirard (back when he was 12 year old) and Jirard's mom on a cross-country road trip to visit churches and, in the process, blew through $500k... as one does. In fact, apparently some evangelist bonked 12-year-old Jirard in the head so hard it knocked him out and we woke up on motel bed.
Jirard lost like six months out of his 6th grade school year, and when his Dad found out, he demanded everyone come home. They did, but immediately afterwards, Jirard's mom demanded a divorce. Y'know, because she wasn't happy. Jirard's dad was all "sure, you can have everything, but let's go to the doctor first". Jirard's mom was all "lol everything for only a trip to the doctor? you bet!" but little did she know, she had activated his Dad's Trap card!
After about a couple months of doctor visits, that's when they discovered the dementia diagnosis, and the disease caused Jirard's mom to apparently have the emotional capacity of a child.
Who knows what ever happened to that con artist that scammed Jirard's family out of $500k, but this all does make a bit of sense: it was revenge. Just like George W. Bush invaded Iraq in 2003 out of revenge for George HW Bush's failure to stop Saddam Hussein during the 1991 Gulf War (regardless of all the people he got killed while playing out his revenge fantasy), Jirard created this fake charity scam out of revenge for that con artist that scammed his family out of $500k (regardless of all the people who lost money while playing out is revenge fantasy).
The Human Condition, ladies and gentlemen.
Fallout Open Hand Foundation
Now that it's pretty dang obvious to anyone with at least three working brain cells that Jirard was a very very naughty boy, the fallout of his actions was fairly swift as everyone tried to distance themselves from him.
One of his former allies were Sabotage Studio, the makers of the game Sea of Stars. As the story goes: Jirard played a significant role in promoting Sea of Stars and maintained a positive relationship with Sabotage Studio, even reserving a slot for them at every Indieland, allowing their games (not just Sea of Stars) to be seen by a wider audience. Thus the Jirard cameo—as an NPC character called "Jirard the Constructionist"—was their way of giving genuine thanks for his help.
Alas, that genuine thanks must have turned into genuine disappointment when all of this went down, and in the end Sabotage decided to just remove him from their game.
The new character is simply named "Bob". He builds things.
-
You know as they say... "Hair today..." -
"...Bob tomorrow."
Another game that removed Jirard from was a Super Mario Bros. ROM hack called "Super Beard Bros" (1).... but no one really cares about that one.
The flip side of everyone distancing themselves from Jirard are all the people who are clamoring to climb atop this shit sandwich and come off as King of the Cringe by proclaiming that Jirard is the worst person in the world next to Hitler, Stalin, Tim Buckley and Chairman Mao.
Pictures
Jirard's mom (the one that died) autopsy report
Why he felt the need to post this online is anyone's guess, but here it is. Remember, it's two bits (and/or subs) a gander.
The Cope
-
Charity work is tough, so it makes sense that he waited over six years to donate money that, due to inflation, is actually less effective than it was when it was originally donated -
lol the subreddit got shut down -
Breakdown of the TheCompletionist subreddit -
If you criticize Jirard, you're racist. That's right, Mutahar (an Indo-Canadian) is racist.
Videos
Primary Charity Embezzlement Arc
Previous Video | Next Video |
The Completionist's Friends Coping
Video by BOWBLAX Previous Video | Next Video |
Other Funtime Videos
Video by ReviewTechUSA Previous Video | Next Video |
External links
Completionist - Twitter account
The Completionist - enjoy it while you can
TheCompletionist - Twitch channel, aka pretty much 96% of the evidence of his lies are saved here... be sure to download them all before they disappear!
TheCompletionist (See removed posts: 1, 2)
- The Completionist Subreddit is Currently Privated. (See removed posts: 1, 2) - discussion on the TheCompletionist subreddit shutdown
- Popular YouTuber Ran a Charity for a DECADE Without Ever Donating a Single Cent. (See removed posts: 1, 2) - more discussion on how the mods of the TheCompletionist's subreddit--made up of Jirard's family and friends--went mad on post deletions, namely ones that questioned Jirard's character. Because tough questions = trolling
- TheCompletionist2 (See removed posts: 1, 2) — "A place to freely discuss The Completionist videos, controversies, and happenings"
Jirard, The Completionist® - Instagram account; time for a drinking game: take one shot whenever you see a post that references his dead mother (y'know, the one that died of dementia)- Jirard Khalil: What If She's Still in There Somewhere? — the story about how his mom got scammed out of $500k
The Completionist Is a Scammer, Apparently — Kiwifarms thread about Jirard, apparently
 |
||
|
|
||
|
The Completionist is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article December 21 - 22, 2023 | ||
| Preceded by Bbb23 |
The Completionist | Succeeded by Nuclear War |