Poland: Difference between revisions

'''Poland''' is a little and uninteresting country in Europe and is widely known for being among the most conquerable countries in the world.  However, Poland is also known for steroids, and their filthy [[Jews|Jews]].  Poland is renowned for having the world's most hideous women second to Australia's [[Aboriginals|Aborigineses]], or whatever they're called, and right above [[Zimbabwe]].  Most real Christians view Poland as completely irrelevant because Jesus had never traveled there-- as, nowhere in the country, can you find twelve wise men or a virgin. The nation is known as a buffer zone between good and evil, referring to the neighboring nations of [[Germany]] and [[Russia]] (you decide which is which). Poland is also well known for its [[Transsexual|citizens who are capable of shape shifting]]. Throughout the last thousand years its borders have changed frequently as it has been [[pwned]] repeatedly by surrounding nations, and due to severe [[butthurt]] [[B&|disappeared off the face of the earth]] for [[at least 100 years|almost 200 years]].

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* The Germans invaded Poland so quickly because Poland was on vacation and only the [[Jews]] were "home". <- Polish propaganda. [[Fact]] is the Nazis [[win|walked into the country backwards]], so all the Polacks [[lie|thought]] they were leaving.  

* According to Polish [[trolls]] German astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus and French composer Fryderyk Chopin were Polish plumbers, but in fact not even their National Hero Thaddeus Kosciusko without whom [[USA]] would still suck [[Great Britain|Brits']] [[cocks]] was an ethnic Pole (he was of [[Shit no one cares about|Ruthenian]] and [[Lithuania]]n Heritage), the only notable Polish plumbers in history were [[Unabomber]] and [[an hero]] [[Stephen Kazmierczak]].

* Birthdays were not celebrated in Poland; [[DOING IT WRONG|they had Calendar days instead]]. (This has been changing, though, due to Poland becoming capitalist, now.)

* Many Polish names sound like Brzęczyszczykiewicz, just to [[troll]] [[Americans]], or piss off [[Germans]].

* Polish [[women]] do not use vibrators because it chips their teeth.  

* Knock knock. Who's there? Polish burglar.  

* [[99%]] of the Polish plumbers are [[homophobes]] and therefore [[homosexual]].

* Most [[caveman|Polish computer users]] can fluently speak [[Engrish|English]], however they cannot even write correctly in their native-language, cos they're [[too lazy]] to hold ALT all the time.

* Their main export are pretty, [[jailbait|barely 18 girls]], with [[nazi|blond hair and blue eyes]], as well as [[drugs|meth]], and death metal.

* The main import is ice as no one in Poland knows the recipe

* Polish Vodka is TEH REAL DEAL.  It was invented there. "Pure Polish Spirit Vodka" is 96% (a massive 192 proof) alcohol content, and is prescribed by Polish [[jews|doctors]] for a range of [[retarded|ailments]] (including parasites). [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|Actually 160 proof, faggot]]. [[Some Argue|Some claim]] that Polish Vodka can [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burn]] the [[cancer]] [[win|right out of a person]]. [[fact|But it cannot burn]] [[Teh]] [[AIDS]] out of [[niggers|anyone]].  It is fact, no Pole has ever been diagnosed with cancer, mostly down to the fact that polish medicine has not progressed beyond the application of heather to any and all ailments. and [[Pool's Closed|AIDS does not exist within the borders of Poland]].

* Poland also produces over 100% of all stripper poles. It has held this monopoly since [[Last Thursday]].

* Poles are known to have shitloads of [[alcohol]] digesting capacity. They hold old [[China|Guinness]] record, 12.4 promiles. The [[Poland|Polack]] who [[Drunk|wasted himself]] so much was riding a [[bike]]. <i>Update: Record reportedly broken in April 2009 by a [[Russia|Russian faggot]].</i>

* In Poland, left is actually left, and right is actually right, thus when leaving Poland many British become confused.

* Poland also has a big community of [[clinton|Ukranians]], all of whom dress up as humans.

* Poland is a known good luck charm: [[John Kerry]] forgot about it, and totally fucked up. [[George_Bush|George W.]] remembered Poland and successfully <s>fixed</s> won the election. (see: [[You Forgot Poland]])

* There was a group that tried to create the first Polish [[terrorist]] cell, and their first action was an attempt to blow up a bus. The entire effort dissolved shortly after the leader severely burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

* Poland is home to one of the greatest [[Pedobear|Pedobears]] of all time, [[Roman_Polanski|Roman Polanski.]]

* [[Fact|There are no niggers in Poland]]

* In [[Britain]] most Polish will be found working in a factory or on a building site speaking little to no English

* With their habit of [[copypasta|copying]] every little thing from [[USA|The Mighty West]], Poland - of course - has learned how to [[9gag]] too. They have memetic dumpsters which are the equivalents of it, like the very popular [[Quake|Kwejk]] or [[Tumblr|komixxy.pl]]. Like their original counterparts, they are nothing more than a shitload of [[unfunny]], forced trash, created by [[13 year old|13-]] and [[16 year old|16-]] year old scavengers or [[retarded]] [[students]].

* Polish version of [[Nostalgia Critic]] is called "Niekryty Krytyk". Just so you know, although he's even worse than the original, [[LOL WUT|he has his own radio show]]. Then there's [[copypasta|ripoff]] of that [[copypasta|ripoff]], called "mietczynski" (aka "[[hipster]]-bearded-lowlife"). Polaks are so [[original]], right?

* [[AnonOps|Young freedom fighters]] from Poland [[Protest|protested]] strongly against [[ACTA]]. However, this won't do much good, because current Polish Prime Minister [[Uncle Dolan|Donald Tusk]] [[Fuck That Guy|don't give much of a fuck]].

* Poland was involed together with [[Hungary]] in the Destruction of Czechoslovakia, which was operated by Germany, so Poland acutally acted as complicity of [[Hitler]]s aggressive policy

File:Fugly wall-eyed half-blind dick-necked polish crook Janusz Kedziora.jpg  

Image:ChestyMorgan.jpg|There were busty Polish girls [[at least 100 years ago]]. Even [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesty_Morgan check TOW].

* http://vote5pisforgotpoland.ytmnd.com/

* http://hitlerpoland.ytmnd.com/

* [http://www.lysator.liu.se/jokes/polish.html Polish literature]

* [http://www.polymath-systems.com/misc/jokes/polish.html More Polish literature]

* [http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/851721--party-goer-didn-t-notice-he-d-been-shot-in-head-for-five-years Polish man too drunk to notice he had been shot in the head 5 years ago.] Evidently it did not affect his brainpower.