Internets: Difference between revisions

[[File:Netizens.jpg|thumb|center|800px|An [[bullshit|idealized view]] of various [[basement dwellers]]. [[IRL|In reality,]] every one of these individuals would resemble the 4chan character.]]

To put it simple, the internet is like an autisic AI program.

Who'd a thunk it? Well, originally, no one. But, they're catching on ...

Here is some of what his students have made:

== Facts about the internet ==

==Videos==

This is serious bullshit.

== Internets Explained ==

== OMG NOBEL PRIZE FTW!!1 ==

[[Image:Akirao.jpg|thumb|The door to the Internets.]]

[[Image:Internet switch.jpg|thumb|How the Internet is controlled.]]

ICANN has decreed that Mr. Roy Harms, (aka [[Pedobear]]) will accept the prize on behalf of the internet if the global information infrastructure is named as the 2010 Nobel Laureate for Peace.

The Internets (formally known as the "Al Gore Experience"), a magical cloud of information that floats over your head in the stratosphere, was invented [[at least 100 years ago]] by [[Al Gore]] and pluralized by [[George W. Bush]]. At first it was used only by the Army, ensuring that in the event of nuclear war, officers could still view porn. Some time around 1981 or [[2007]] (if you're a [[fag|FAG]][[Oneoneone|!!!1!]]), some guy in his basement found that he could use his Atari 2600 with his 300 baud modem to steal the Internet for himself. Five years later, AOL streamlined this process and the Internets as we know them now were born. Only these days, there is way [[moar]] free pr0n and moar warez. It is rumoard there may be small pockets of useful information hidden deep in the bowels of the Internets. This has been proven to be false. Presently, scientists believe the Internets to be the greatest proof that most of our species is totally fucking [[batshit insane]], outdoing even the [[Holocaust]] and [[white people]].

==Alternate History==

As a measure against some of the more nefarious evildoers, in 2001 President Bush ordered all dark corners of the Internets to be cleared of lurkers. This is somewhat of a misstatement, though, as it is commonly known that the tubes are round, and thus free of corners. Regardless, congress promptly passed the Snake Act, which required that all tubes be periodically scraped and flushed of debris. The then popular web browser Mosaic was renamed Netscrape in honor of this glorious achievement.  

The most notable is First! Syndrome, which has a 12% saturation at the time of this writing. Other examples include Playdooms Disorder and Blends Disease, although these have been shown to be curable with treatment. Unfortunately, First! Syndrome is still incurable and its victims are often ostracized when the fact of their infection becomes public. While a harsh practice, it is the only known effective method of curbing an ever climbing infection rate.

==What is the Internets?==

[[File:Prizeforvisitingthedeepweb.jpg|thumb|This guy visited the deep web.]]

===A basic understanding===

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*2.) Use your brain before ever putting fingers to keys.

*4.) Realize that you are never, EVER going to get that, or any other, offensive web page taken down. Those of us who run those sites LIVE to piss off people like you. Those of us who don't run those sites sometimes visit them just to read the hatemail from fools like you.

*5.) Oh, you say you're going to a lawyer? Be prepared for us to giggle with girlish delight, and for your lawyer to laugh in your face after he explains current copyright and parody law.

*7.) We have already received the e-mail you are about to forward to us. Shut up. and quit sending them to everyone on your email and instant messenger lists.

*11.) It's a hoax, not a virus warning, and no, you don't have to pay for good anti-virus.

*13.) The first person who offers to help you is really just trying to fuck with you for entertainment. So is the second. And the third. And me.

*19.) If you can't take a joke, immediately sell your computer to someone who can. RIGHT NOW.

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Pissed off? It's the TRUTH, not these words, that hurts your feelings. Don't ever even pretend like I've gone and hurt them.

===A Series of Tubes===

{{quote|Guess what, this is the Internets, people DON'T GIVE A FUCK.|[[Anonymous]], saying the truth.}}

==How It Works==

[[Image:Internet-food-chain.png|thumb|Internet food chain.]]

No one knows how the Internets work, nor do they care. Extensive research by [[Alan Turing]] shows that they can have intelligence and be indistinguishable from people but it has since been deciphered that they communicate in very different ways.

== How 2 Internet ==

Just because you can hire an [[Virgin|underpaid lonely tech support guy to set up your internet]] and show you how to use [[Google]] doesn't mean you are using the internet correctly. Just because you can watch and post videos on [[Youtube]] doesn't mean you are using the internet correctly, and if you ARE posting videos on Youtube, chances are you AREN'T using the internet correctly. Here are some simple steps to properly use your new internet:

If you do not want to be a pirate nor view shock sites, we suggest that you follow steps 1,2,3,and 4 and then stop being a nigger and quit the internet.

{{main|:Category:Internets Phenomena}}

==Anonymity==

{{Main|Internet Fuckwad Theory}}

==Rumors on the Internets ==

The most widely-known rumors are almost all "conspiracy-based," which is to say that they hinge upon an "[[we|us]] versus [[they| them]]" mindset (where "us" equals everything good and normal, and "them" equals everything wrong with the world). Some especially popular conspiracy rumors include:

===Non-Conspiracy Based===

Of course, not all rumors are conspiracy-oriented; many are just stories spread by various sources about certain individuals or groups. Common subjects of rumor, as well as those vectors and groups by which they are spread, include:

==Side effects ==

==Videos==

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==Gallery==

{{cg|HOW DO I SHOT INTRAWEB?|internetgallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">

Image:Internet is back.jpg

Image:Internet_Map_Ragum.PNG|Even less accurate map of the internet.

Image:Internet_Series_blackboardlrn.jpg|<s>[[For great justice]].</s> Only [[Fail|3 marks?]]

Image:Networktubes.jpg|Accurate depiction of the internet [[IRL]]. Note the [[tubes]].

Image:notabigtruck.jpg|[[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG]]

Image:GoRonaldGo.gif|TO THE INTERNET!!

Image:Fyouinternet.jpg|Typical reaction to [[Rule 34]]

image:Pedobearsonneo.jpg|[[Pedobear]] is going to get you [[on the internet]].

Image:Danginternet.png

Image:Danger Internet.jpg

</gallery>}}

== See also ==

== External links ==

{{FoxNews}}

{{Language}}

{{Serious}}

{{Timeline|Featured article August 17, [[2005]]|[[Richard Stallman]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Ninjas vs. Pirates]]}}

[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]