Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/July 16, 2024

Global Warming

Global warming' or global cooling or climate change is an ongoing terraforming process by lizardpeople to make the Earth more inhabitable for their cold-blooded brethren. The Chinese are also taking advantage of this hoax, in order to achieve economic supremacy over Murica and out-breed the white race.

With the advent of the Industrial Revolution, wood-burning advanced to fossil fuel burning: coal-burning, oil-burning and gas-burning, mainly to charge cellphones or make things "go" for a species oblivious of large-scale quantum teleportation. The geo-engineering process involves taking ancient forests that used solar power to sequester carbon for millions of years, and releasing the carbon into the atmosphere to warm this icy class M planet for further colonization. Since nearly 69% of megacities on Earth are coastal, the reptiloid plan involves melting Antarctica in order to rise the sea level by 300 feet, thereby swamping major global cities which humans foolishly built near coastlines due to the laughable derelict technology of wind-powered sea-faring ships. After relying on the Earth's oceans and weather patterns to destroy most the planets most aggressive specimens, the surviving humans can then easily be herded into caged enclosures and the transition to human factory farming can begin on land. Due to the increase in ocean area, human factory farms can also be located in water, like the ancient human sea farms that led to the breeding of cetaceans.

Some argue global warming is a conspiracy by global politicians to charge you more money for going to work by creating a 'carbon tax' - and by lazy scientists who prefer a good old whinge instead of doing some actual work like developing fusion power - because what Al Gore and the tree-shagger brigade don't seem to understand is that most people would be happy to have a free power source for their cars.

In the history of our planet, there were at least 6 or 7 ICE AGES over the course of Earth's history, countless volcanos, and walking McDonald's ingredients long before the combustion engine - and now scientists politicians all agree with each other for their ass-raping pleasure that everybody has to start burning shit, and we'll have enough carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to really change things. In fact, if another Ice Age does occur, then warming the earth with emissions will help reduce the catastrophic temperature drop. The emissions caused by Gore's big, fat, mouth and ass should be more than enough.

Another pointer to the fact that global warming is all bullshit is the large number of offshore windfarms being erected by the same retards who are telling us forcing it down our throats, that the sea is going to get a fuck load deeper in the next couple of decades - which goes to show how much faith they have in wind energy to begin with.

Last Thursday Al Gore brought up Godwin's law and therefore automatically lost the argument by comparing Global Warming to Nazis. Seriously.

The supposed effects of global warming will not affect you in any way, so pollute as much as possible to troll future generations.

(( The Consensus Among Our Best Looking, Rock Star Scientists Is That There Isn't Enough Data To Form An Opinion ))

What have I missed?	Family Guy 2 days ago	Regular Show 4 days ago	Adventure Time 6 days ago