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| '''Overwatch''' is a desperate attempt to simplify ''[[Team Fortress 2]]'' into a game so easy to play that babies out of the womb could pick it up. Since [[World of Warcraft|MMORPGs]] no longer made the headlines or the big bucks, [[Sexual Harassment|Blizzard Entertainment]] were convinced that easy-to-approach class shooters were the next big thing. Creating a cast of colourful characters that wouldn’t look out of place on a kids tv show, Overwatch on release had every sperg, autist and caveman captivated by the bright colours and loud noises, which distracted from how little content the game actually had. To really bring in as many players as possible the game was made as approachable as possible, so despite being a shooter there's no blood or graphic imagery to reach the lowest age rating. The characters themselves range from Avengers knock-offs for the kiddies, [[Aurora Theatre Shooting|edgy Batman villains wearing trench coats]] for the teens, and tiny [[16-year-old girl|barely-legal]] Korean girls for the adults.
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| Blinded by how big of a success Overwatch became, Blizzard quickly lost sight of what the game was and what the fans wanted. What followed was years of mishandling, controversy and company politics that managed to turn the games reputation from the next big thing that everyone was playing, into a messy first-person [[League of Legends|MOBA]] that alienated new commers, and pissed off veterans.
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| In a desperate attempt to revive the game, mainly its image, Overwatch 2 was announced, putting the final nail in Overwatch’s coffin as development for the game slowed to a snail’s pace. The legacy of Overwatch is mostly porn, as well as what happens when everyone gets [[Cyberpunk 2077|hypnotised by clever advertising]] and flashy visuals.
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| ==The Gameplay==
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| Lololo
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| ===[[An hero|Heroes]] - How to play===
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">[[fail|You're paying for an overpriced ripoff of Team Fortress 2]]</div>
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| <div class="morphcontainer">
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| <center>
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| <div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:50%;background:linear-gradient(#ffffff, #000000);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">
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| <table>
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| <tr>
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| <td><div id="OWLink1" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent1">Damage</div></td>
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| <td> • </td>
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| <td><div id="OWLink2" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent2">Tank</div></td>
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| <td> • </td>
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| <td><div id="OWLink3" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent3">Support</div></td>
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| </tr>
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| </table>
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| </div>
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| </center>
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| <div style="padding-top:20px">
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| <div class="morphcontent OWContent1 hiddentext">
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Damage</div>
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| [[File:Reaper-and-Soldier76.jpg|right|thumb|You're in the wrong neighborhood motherfucker]]
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| *'''[[Money|Ashe]]''' - Snipers are so cool with their sharp-shooter aim and quick thinking, trading survivability for insane damage. I bet you'd like to be one, except you can't [[headshot]] anything that moves and your awareness is most comparable to [[Helen Keller]]. Luckily Ashe is for you, with her sniper rifle having such a ridiculous fire-rate that you can riddle your enemy with bullets once you've missed their brain three times in a row. If anyone gets the drop on you, Ashe has a tiny shotgun that pushes away any attacker, and her ultimate ability is to summon a tank robot that has machine gun hands, mowing down everything in sight, so if you've been sucking ass at actually helping your team, you can bring in this tank to do the work you [[lazy|can't be bothered to do.]] Ashe is for [[Poseur|posers,]] and is usually chosen by people who take credit for work they didn't do, like in a school project or work presentation.
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| *'''Bastion''' - If you've recently had a [[stupid|lobotomy,]] Bastion is for you. When you choose this robotic dick-on-legs, you've basically announced to your teammates that you have turned on easy mode and that they shouldn't rely on you to do anything other than mic spam and complain. Bastion can turn into a turret with an ammo capacity that feels almost endless, so enjoy tracking your enemies while you listen to your sigma grindset podcasts. Bastion has an ability to heal himself so you never have to move, but if you feel like stretching your legs, Bastion's ultimate turns him into a cannon on wheels, so enjoy some easy frags. Bastion is for lazy bastards, and is usually chosen by people who never work hard at anything they do, but still do [[A winner is you|better than those around them.]]
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| *'''[[Black Supremacy|Doomfist]]''' - Fighting games suck ass, all the combos and quick maths is no fun so normal people avoid them like the plague. Doomfist acts as a diet-coke version of a fighting game character, tasking players to use his Fisher-Price moveset effectively in a game full of stuns and shields. Doomfist can bounce like an [[Basketball|NBA player]], slam into enemies the same way he slams into single mothers, and for his ultimate he slams his fat ass into the ground in the hope no one tries to [[George Floyd|choke him while he gets back up.]] This handful of abilities plus a pea-shooter in his hand with only 4 bullets, would have you convinced he'd be one of the weakest options in the game, but on the contrary, part of Blizzards propaganda that black people are better means that Doomfist [[Pwnt|one-shots]] half the characters in the game. This is obviously not fun to play against, so for Overwatch 2 they remade his kit to be completely different, instead of trying to salvage this insanely unfair beast. Doomfist is for [[Cuckoldry|cucks,]] and is usually chosen by people who think they're better at the game then they really are.
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| *'''Genji''' - It might blow your mind to hear that Blizzard, in the name of diversity and breaking stereotypes, made their Japanese character a cyborg ninja. He shoots shurikens that do more damage than bullets, he runs and jump around like [[Cocaine|Mario on crack,]] and his ultimate ability is a sword that kills most characters with a single hit. While his design and gameplay is unoriginal, his balance has always been a problem and Blizzard have had to constantly change his cooldowns to try and make him play nice with the other kids. Fact is, it's hard to balance something so ridiculously broken in the first place, there's glass canon, and then there's this [[gook]]. Genji is for [[Wapanese|weeaboos]], and is usually chosen [[Tears|sweaty tryhards]] who get three hours of sleep at most.
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| *'''[[Incest|Hanzo]]''' - If Ashe is for people who ''wish'' they could play a sniper, Hanzo is for players that can play Sniper but only with ridiculous amounts of luck. Hanzo uses a bow that snipes but doesn't have a scope so enjoy trying to hit the three pixels that represents an enemies head across the map. To help you not be a complete waste of space, Hanzo has an arrow that reveals the enemies position to your team for a short period, as well as the ability to shoot off a bunch of arrows as if his bow has suddenly become an assault rifle. Even with these abilities, actually getting a headshot usually requires blind luck or a cheat program. His ultimate ability has him charge up an arrow that unleashes a [[IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER|magic dragon that flies that shoots through walls and kills anything it touches.]] Hanzo is for anti-social nerds and is usually chosen by people who improvise all the time, but pretend they know what they're doing.
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| *'''[[Ausfalia|Junkrat]]''' - Slightly fitting given that he's [[United States of Australia|Australian,]] Junkrat is a brain-dead explosives character that rewards spam and punishes thinking or "aim". Stealing his gear from the [[Team Fortress 2|Demoman,]] Junkrat has a grenade launcher that shoots bouncy explosives, and two mines that stick to any surface and can be used to rocket jump as well as lay traps. His ultimate ability is a remote-control tyre with explosives strapped to it, that can be destroyed by enemies if they're paying attention. Given that all his weapons have ridiculously large area of effects, Junkrat doesn't require any skill and keeps winning the fanbases most hated character lists.
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| *'''<s>Mcree</s> [[Cowboy|Cassidy]]''' - Bullshit incarnate, Cassidy is a close range gunslinger with can stun any enemy he want for an easy headshot. Consistently hated by fans from day 1, this characters insane damage and hard-to-counter stun grenade has made him a must pick due to the fact that a well-trained Cassidy can headshot across the map, meaning he can swap between close combat and sniper on a whim. Couple this with his ultimate which one shots any characters in his field of view, and it's no wonder why this character has become infamous for raping unaware enemy teams; ironic since his original name came from a rapist employee.
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| [[File:Mei+fat+cosplay.jpg|right|thumb|how to cosplay Mei if you are a hambeast]]
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| *'''Mei''' - She build the Shit Wall of [[China]] with her ice gun and the cuntiest cunt of them all. Overpowered Chinese cunt that somehow wasn't killed at birth (but should be), sometimes moonspeaking.
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| *'''[[ISIS|Pharah]]''' - Some cunt with explosive from an Islamic country, jihadist rip off. Needless to say it was very racist for the developer not to properly respect these people with their due "Allahu Akbar". She also has no discernible personality other than raining her justice from above which definitely is some kind of vaginal juice spray innuendo.
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| *'''[[Black Lives Matter|Reaper]]''' - An accurate depiction of the average African American in the USA.
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| *'''Soldier: 76''' - [[Faggot|Gay]] [[Call of Duty]] rip off. Comes in the flavors of Call of Duty and Call of Duty: Ghosts.
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| *'''Sombra''' - Now weebs and 12 year old xbox live enthusiasts can pretend they're hackers by playing as this mexican bitch for a juan-ce in a lifetime experience.
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| *'''[[Poo in the loo|Symmetra]]''' - Nigga from [[India]] who quit her technical support day job for this shit. She can put down turrets and give allies shields. She is the bane of any offense hero trying to push, because her turrets also slow their asses down. Bonus points if you place your teleporter near a ledge, and behold lulz.
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| *'''[[Sweden|Torbjörn]]''' - If you are wondering how unoriginal a game was going to get then wonder no fucking more. This is again, a guy with a fucking turret, like we haven't seen that shit [[Portal|before]], then he is also Swedish to add in that cliche shit about how Swedish people used to be blacksmiths. A midget with the typical shit Swedish beard (how unoriginal are we going to fucking get) and can build turrets. Original ideas are fucking unoriginal says Overwatch.
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| *'''[[Dat Ass|Tracer]]''' - Fucking cunt that is in the cover because of [[Feminist|feminist propaganda]]. The size of her ass has actually been an issue for contention which shows how little fuck you should be giving about this stupid fucking game. Her abilities are teleporting, cunt and being unoriginal as fuck. She is literally a copy and paste of Scout from Team Fortress 2, most 2D personality you will fucking meet, she is fast and ????????. CAVLARY'S HERE then you instant cringe to fucking death from how bad that British accent was. Also the main source of many of the drama related to this game as it will be explained below. <s>[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT8EnpEQMsY (Humorously, she's able to kick the Scout's ass without using any actual fucking skill)]</s> [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7MOjqaDAYo HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]
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| *'''[[France|Widowmaker]]''' - French cunt who is too busy trying to empower feminists with her killing her husband bullshit, she doesn't have any discernible character other than describing about how she was scared of fucking spiders which somehow carried into how she said she was brainwashed by Bad Overwatch....???? what? Gave some edgy fucking speech about how satisfying it is to kill people, oh you are so edgy gurl, you feel satisfied from killing people, woe is me, imma terrified. She was rightfully nerfed for being a noob cunt that kills people without aiming.
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| </div>
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| <div class="morphcontent OWContent2 hiddentext">
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Tank</div>
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| [[File:DVa-qt3.14.jpg|right|thumb|[[r9k|>tfw no qt3.14 korean tank hero gf]]]]
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| *'''[[Nazi|Reinhardt]]''' - German oldfag that was lost on the way to retirement home and jumped into an experimental Nazi warmachine, constantly has his barrier field out while all his bitch teammates who can't kill for shit cowers behind him so they can make use of the pussy barrier to get noob kills. He can charge into people.
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| *'''[[Fat|Roadhog]]''' - It's a fucking miracle he is even moving but the breathing mask probably explains it. He can pull bitches towards him with a chain, also overpowered as fuck and used by noobs, an universal representation of the average gamer.
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| *'''[[Mary Sue|D.Va]]''' - A [[Korea|Korean]] professional [[GOTIS|girl gamer]] and Hollywood actress that turned unto mech rider. Stupid, retarded and completely out of the realm of possibility you say? Well, ''Overwatch'' is here to test your bullshit tolerance, right now you are asking yourself how the flying fuck a no life cunt who lives in her mother's basement managed to grasp the concept of piloting an intricate mecha and is not fat as fuck, ''Overwatch'' says thinking is for the weak. Her mecha is shit like all China made product so it explodes instantly after you get hit (not really) then you will have to kill this sneaky cunt twice, which also leads to the question how the fuck can someone who live in their mother's basment have enough combat physique to take even one shot. Well, ''Overwatch'' says, fuck you that's why.[[LOL|a pistol that can do more damage than the mech itself]]. Her ultimate ability is turning your battleground into South Korea after North Korea finish their weapon development. Running away from a nuke is as effective as running away from a nuke so don't even bother avoiding it, just turn on your godmode hack and kill that cunt. She is also overpowered and should rightfully be nerfed but as said, ''Overwatch'' is dominated by noobs and children so the cycle continues with noobs using overpowered weapon to kill people.
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| </div>
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| <div class="morphcontent OWContent3 hiddentext">
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Support</div>
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| [[File:Lucio Cosplay.jpg|right|thumb|that was the fucker who sold me bad [[coke|shit]] on my trip to Brazil!!11!!]]
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| *'''Zenyatta''' - A robot monker who preaches personal interaction with people by killing people with his metal balls, developers attempt to be culturally integral, fails badly. While he is the most fragile piece of garbage in the game with an average heal, he more than makes up for it by shooting an Orb of Discord at you, which increases the damage an enemy takes. If he's good, he will absolutely assrape your team, or scare you so badly you have to hide behind the wall like a bitch. For his ultimate ability, he drops acid while taking them so he can "experience tranquility".
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| *'''Lucio''' - ''[[Brazil|HUEHUEHUEBRBR]]'' A typical Brazilian gangster that killed families and before deciding to join Overwatch to avoid getting arrested. Rides around on gay rollerblades while blasting shit fucking hip-hop. He's the standard healer pick of just about every team because said rap can [[Science|heal everyone constantly or make them move faster]]. He can switch between these abilities at will AND can give his teammates shields fairly often, which makes him and anyone he's near incredibly annoying to kill. As if that wasn't enough, he can fart into the microphone on his futuristic boom box and send out a blast of sound that you think might be shockwave but it's actually hip-hop so fucking shit that any faggots whose cells even comes in contact with it automatically repels from it.
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| *'''[[Al Qaeda|Ana]]''' - Older [[sandnigger]] (who is that other sandnigger with explosive's bitch mother) terrorist with mediocre heals and low DPS. She doesn't have explosives like her daughter but she does have a sniper that heals her team (how?), because what kind of fucking genius couldn't come up with this kind of idea in real life? Shooting a dart into your team to heal them. Why isn't there a RPG that heals too? HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NUKE THAT HEALS PEOPLE?
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| *'''[[Rule 63|Mercy]]''' - German medic - [[TF2|ORIGINAL CHARACTER, DO NOT STEAL]]. Also known as "Healslut" in the community because of her fast [[Sex|healing]], but then again, she can only target one person at a time which makes Lucio superior (a man being superior at something than a woman? Go fucking figure). Has a damage boost as well, but if you're using it then you're not healing, so only retards ever switch to it. Her ultimate revives all nearby dead teammates, but [[Facepalm|the only way to use it is to completely fail at your only job]]. Duly noted to be actually Swiss but there is no difference because we know Switzerland supported the Nazis. She is a medic, go fucking figure, why don't you just give her a white flag to play off her French descent some more.
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| </div>
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| </div>
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| </div>
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| {{clear}}
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