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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">[[fail|You're paying for an overpriced ripoff of Team Fortress 2]]</div>
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| <td><div id="OWLink1" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent1">Damage</div></td>
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| <td><div id="OWLink2" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent2">Tank</div></td>
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| <td><div id="OWLink3" class="morphlink showhidetext" data-correspondingcontent="OWContent3">Support</div></td>
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Damage</div>
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| *'''Mei''' - Designed for trolling, Mei's chubby ass is used to weaken her enemies before her teammates come in to finish them off. Mei's ice gun slows down her target and if frozen long enough, locks them in place for a short period, allowing Mei to get some cheeky hits in before her prey escapes. She can build a Shit Wall of [[China]] with her ice gun to block off any exit for her enemies (or her teammates if you're feeling devilish), and if she wants to [[pussybitch|pussy out of an attack]] she can encase herself in solid ice which heals her injuries and turns her invulnerable until she thaws out. If this all sounds a little too unfair to fight and brimming with potential to piss off teammates and enemies alike, you're right. Her ice wall specifically is the bane of some players existences, as it not only lasts way too long, but can also be used for players to place out-of-reach teleporters to get an unfair flank. Mei is for fat fetishists, and is usually chosen by people who are [[troll|looking to do a little bit of trolling.]]
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| *'''[[ISIS|Pharah]]''' - An Egyptian slave who uses a jet to shoot explosives at her enemies from up above. With her country of origin being an Islamic country, she's clearly a jihadist rip off, very racist of the developer not to properly respect these people with their due "Allahu Akbar". Pharah has the ability to fly along with a rocket launcher, and her ultimate ability which unleashes a rocket barrage onto her enemies. Her simplistic kit makes her a nightmare to fight as she can dodge anything you throw at her while her splash-damage rockets chip away at your health. Pharah is for [[Idiot|12 year old boys]], and is usually chosen by people who choose the most expensive item on the menu, and then refuse to pay the bill.
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| *'''[[Black Lives Matter|Reaper]]''' - Blizzard finally replied to my emails and added my [[Original character|super cool edgy OC]], Reaper the darkflame shadow master. He's got two shotguns that he replaces instead of reloading, a teleport ability that takes way too long to use, and a phase mode where he can run to and from a fight without being hurt. His ultimate is a super cool tornado move where he shoots all the bad guys!!!1! Reaper is for [[faggots]], and is usually chosen by people who are [[trying too hard]] to be cool and different.
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| *'''[[Vietnam War|Soldier: 76]]''' - Similar to Cassidy, Solider 76 is widely disliked because he's designed to be close-range, but any monkey can spam his weaponry and snipe someone in the distance. Instead of a pathetic little revolver, 76 uses a giant machine gun that can shoot rockets, drop a healing grenade, and for its ultimate you gain temporary aim assist. 76 players are seen as [[newbies]] who spam their way victory. Soldier 76 is for [[Nu-male|Soyboys]], and is usually chosen by people who claim they're the best at something, only to fuck it up and blame it on someone else.
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| *'''Sombra''' - Despite being [[Poverty|Mexican,]] Sombra is not a lazy whore who sleeps all day long and drinks till her teeth rot. Instead she found the only working computer in all of [[Mexico]], and decided to put the pc parts inside her because she's absolutely mental. Her only weapon is a nerf gun, with a magazine so small that it's easier to hit them with your fist than try and shoot them to death. To make up for this, Sombra can turn invisible, setup a personal teleport, disable another players abilities for a second or two, and for her ultimate she disables everyone in a small area. While she was designed to stop meta plays by stopping key players do their job, players quickly found Sombra was merely an annoyance, not an obstacle. This means on release she was seen as pretty useless. Sombra is for [[Bitch|cowards]], and is usually chosen by people who set themselves useless tasks and then pretend they're helping, like organising your pencils in colour order.
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| *'''[[Poo in the loo|Symmetra]]''' - Ugly [[shemale]] from [[India]] who quit her tech support day job for something more exciting, building. She can put down turrets, teleporters and a big fuck-off shield. She is the bane of any offense hero trying to push, because her turrets also slow their asses down. Bonus points if you place your teleporter near a ledge, and behold lulz. Despite looking better than some of the other women, Symmetra has some of the least porn about her. Symmetra is for [[nerds]], and is usually chosen by people who only talk about themselves all day long.
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| *'''[[Sweden|Torbjörn]]''' - If you are wondering how unoriginal a game was going to get then wonder no fucking more. This is again, a guy with a fucking turret, like we haven't seen that shit [[Portal|before]], then he is also Swedish to add in that cliche shit about how Swedish people used to be blacksmiths. A midget with the typical shit Swedish beard (how unoriginal are we going to fucking get) and can build turrets. Original ideas are fucking unoriginal says Overwatch. The turrets range is ridiculously powerful and if placed in the right spot, can wipe out an entire enemy team, even if they all focus it. Not to mention the rivet gun that Torbjörn can use to snipe at mid-range, this guy is designed to be an asshole. Torbjörn is for children who can't aim, and is usually chosen by people who rely on their "friends" to help them in any situation, because they're clueless on their own.
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| *'''[[Dat Ass|Tracer]]''' - Seemingly desgined as a giant middle finger to support players, Tracer is best at flanking, getting some undeserved kills before running away and recovering behind the comparatively less-large asses of her teammates. Her guns are lethal at point-blank but useless even at close range. Her health was already small at launch, but has only got smaller, (like her ass), so she can only get away with killing the distracted healers, because anyone that fights back is usually going to win. She has the ability to teleport ahead, as well as reset her position back to where she was 10 seconds ago, restoring her health in the process; enjoy trying to kill this British [[Turkey|cockroach]], only for her to say "lol no" and escape with all her health back. Her ultimate is a sticky bomb that one-shots healers but can't do anything to tanks. Tracer is for [[Asians]], and is usually chosen by people who still think "random = funny".
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| *'''[[France|Widowmaker]]''' - French cunt who is too busy trying to empower feminists with her killing her husband bullshit, she doesn't have any discernible character other than describing about how she was scared of fucking spiders which somehow lead to being brainwashed by Bad Overwatch? She also gives edgy speeches about how satisfying it is to kill people. She has a sniper rifle that needs to charge before it can headshot, a poison mine that almost no damage, and a grapple hook which is meant to be used for sniper positions, but is usually just used to escape when her team fails and dies. Her ultimate is probably the most useless in the game, she can reveal where the enemy is for 10 seconds, which doesn't help since most maps usually have only one doorway the enemy can go through. Widowmaker is for [[hipsters]], and is usually chosen by people who haven't played the game since release and still think she is the best sniper.
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Tank</div>
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| [[File:DVa-qt3.14.jpg|right|thumb|[[r9k|>tfw no qt3.14 korean tank hero gf]]]]
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| *'''[[Nazi|Reinhardt]]''' - German oldfag that was lost on the way to retirement home and jumped into an experimental Nazi warmachine, constantly has his barrier field out while all his bitch teammates who can't kill for shit cowers behind him so they can make use of the pussy barrier to get noob kills. He can charge into people.
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| *'''[[Fat|Roadhog]]''' - It's a fucking miracle he is even moving but the breathing mask probably explains it. He can pull bitches towards him with a chain, also overpowered as fuck and used by noobs, an universal representation of the average gamer.
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| *'''[[Mary Sue|D.Va]]''' - A [[Korea|Korean]] professional [[GOTIS|girl gamer]] and Hollywood actress that turned unto mech rider. Stupid, retarded and completely out of the realm of possibility you say? Well, ''Overwatch'' is here to test your bullshit tolerance, right now you are asking yourself how the flying fuck a no life cunt who lives in her mother's basement managed to grasp the concept of piloting an intricate mecha and is not fat as fuck, ''Overwatch'' says thinking is for the weak. Her mecha is shit like all China made product so it explodes instantly after you get hit (not really) then you will have to kill this sneaky cunt twice, which also leads to the question how the fuck can someone who live in their mother's basment have enough combat physique to take even one shot. Well, ''Overwatch'' says, fuck you that's why.[[LOL|a pistol that can do more damage than the mech itself]]. Her ultimate ability is turning your battleground into South Korea after North Korea finish their weapon development. Running away from a nuke is as effective as running away from a nuke so don't even bother avoiding it, just turn on your godmode hack and kill that cunt. She is also overpowered and should rightfully be nerfed but as said, ''Overwatch'' is dominated by noobs and children so the cycle continues with noobs using overpowered weapon to kill people.
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| <div class="morphcontent OWContent3 hiddentext">
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| <div align="center" style="font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">Support</div>
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| [[File:Lucio Cosplay.jpg|right|thumb|that was the fucker who sold me bad [[coke|shit]] on my trip to Brazil!!11!!]]
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| *'''Zenyatta''' - A robot monker who preaches personal interaction with people by killing people with his metal balls, developers attempt to be culturally integral, fails badly. While he is the most fragile piece of garbage in the game with an average heal, he more than makes up for it by shooting an Orb of Discord at you, which increases the damage an enemy takes. If he's good, he will absolutely assrape your team, or scare you so badly you have to hide behind the wall like a bitch. For his ultimate ability, he drops acid while taking them so he can "experience tranquility".
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| *'''Lucio''' - ''[[Brazil|HUEHUEHUEBRBR]]'' A typical Brazilian gangster that killed families and before deciding to join Overwatch to avoid getting arrested. Rides around on gay rollerblades while blasting shit fucking hip-hop. He's the standard healer pick of just about every team because said rap can [[Science|heal everyone constantly or make them move faster]]. He can switch between these abilities at will AND can give his teammates shields fairly often, which makes him and anyone he's near incredibly annoying to kill. As if that wasn't enough, he can fart into the microphone on his futuristic boom box and send out a blast of sound that you think might be shockwave but it's actually hip-hop so fucking shit that any faggots whose cells even comes in contact with it automatically repels from it.
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| *'''[[Al Qaeda|Ana]]''' - Older [[sandnigger]] (who is that other sandnigger with explosive's bitch mother) terrorist with mediocre heals and low DPS. She doesn't have explosives like her daughter but she does have a sniper that heals her team (how?), because what kind of fucking genius couldn't come up with this kind of idea in real life? Shooting a dart into your team to heal them. Why isn't there a RPG that heals too? HOW ABOUT A FUCKING NUKE THAT HEALS PEOPLE?
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| *'''[[Rule 63|Mercy]]''' - German medic - [[TF2|ORIGINAL CHARACTER, DO NOT STEAL]]. Also known as "Healslut" in the community because of her fast [[Sex|healing]], but then again, she can only target one person at a time which makes Lucio superior (a man being superior at something than a woman? Go fucking figure). Has a damage boost as well, but if you're using it then you're not healing, so only retards ever switch to it. Her ultimate revives all nearby dead teammates, but [[Facepalm|the only way to use it is to completely fail at your only job]]. Duly noted to be actually Swiss but there is no difference because we know Switzerland supported the Nazis. She is a medic, go fucking figure, why don't you just give her a white flag to play off her French descent some more.
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| {{clear}}
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