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Nicole Ritchie: Difference between revisions

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Latest revision as of 23:36, 18 April 2023

You're the meaning in my life/You're the thinspiration

Nicole Ritchie is the pseudo-attractive bimbo that follows Paris Hilton like she's stuck up her ass.

She was once known as the less attractive, fatter one of the two who was made famous not by porn, but by her drug bust in which she was driving around without a license, insurance or registration...what she did have was a balloon full of heroin and enough of daddy's cash to get off with little more than a slap on the wrist.

However, now she is nothing more than a poster child of anorexia and/or post anorexia,considering that she's still skinny (not to mention short) enough to be confused for a q-tip. Many a 16 year old girl has used her pic as an avatar in pro-ana forums and/or made shitty thinspo sideshows on her, which were then put on youtube to spread cancer. Sadly, despite all the time Perez Hilton spends on youtube, he has not seen a single one, which may do him a favor.

Latest news reveals that she and Paris have recently had a falling out


... unfortunately for Paris, it was her asshole that fell out.

Maybe Simon Rexx did it???

Nicole and eFame

Mentioning that, Nicole Richie is Lionel Richie's adopted daughter (the worst choice he made), earns you e-points and e-popularity and make you look smart. Do it at every opportunity. Or, if you have any conscience, tell people she's a slut and should gb2kitchen, though she'd likely cower in a corner, afraid of all da foods in the proximity.

Nicoles Baby

Last thursday Nicole had a baby with one of the gay, try-hard, punk loser twins from Good Charlotte. Like the good sheep (or Paris' personal asshole licker) that Nicole is, her baby was named after one of Paris Hilton's dogs.

Experts have used the best downloadable programs off the internets to configure pictures of what the baby will look like. It turned out that Nicole and Chris Crocker's baby didn't look like what the said experts presumed...Which was a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome and downs.

Nicole and the Drama

An image of a deadly skinny Nicole Richie was posted to LJ's barely-tolerable celebrity snark community, ohnotheydidnt. southernbellexx, a pregnant ana princess who is saving up for her third x, rushed to the defense of her thinspiration in a series of largely incoherent comments that eventually made LJ Drama.

Nicole being a Writer

She wrote "The Truth About Diamonds: A Novel by Nicole Richie" (more like the "The Truth about Dying: A Half Drunk Rant") to show Paris that she's also hot and rich even after their fight, the only thing she showed in her book is that she's a less-hotter version of Paris Hilton.

Trying to be Cooler than Paris

  • Nicole has even tried to replicate Paris' amazing ability to grow to 500 feet tall, but unfortunately for her she just can't seem to break the 2ft foot mark. Her feet also aren't as freakishly huge as her bimbo friend's, so everyone kinda doubts how useful they'd be in crushing her opposition.


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