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Tornadoes: Difference between revisions

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As a gigantic '''FuckYou TM''' to the South for putting the functional [[retard]] known as George W. Bush into office and attempting to elect Sarah Palin a massive weather system descended upon the conservative utopia of the confederacy on Super Tuesday to wreck their shit up. The Republican strongholds of Alabama, Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, and the lower section of Illinois, that [[shit nobody cares about|no one fucking likes,]] were all treated to 15 hours of political reconditioning, between the 5th and 6th of February. During this period ten separate F-3 and F-4 tornadoes quickly went to work making these pissholes their bitch.
As a gigantic '''FuckYou TM''' to the South for putting the functional [[retard]] known as George W. Bush into office and attempting to elect Sarah Palin a massive weather system descended upon the conservative utopia of the confederacy on Super Tuesday to wreck their shit up. The Republican strongholds of Alabama, Missouri, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, and the lower section of Illinois, that [[shit nobody cares about|no one fucking likes,]] were all treated to 15 hours of political reconditioning, between the 5th and 6th of February. During this period ten separate F-3 and F-4 tornadoes quickly went to work making these pissholes their bitch.


*<span style="color:#ff8f20; font-weight:bold;">F-4</span> - ''' Centerville to Highland, AK'''<br>
*<span style="color:#ff8f20; font-weight:bold;">F-4</span> - ''' Centerville to Highland, AR'''<br>
Proving that not even the weather fucking likes Arkansas the Shitstain state was the first to be visited by a highly vindictive twister. Said tornado was in it for the long haul and managed to travel 122 miles before getting bored of ripping [[white trash]] to shreds. In it's extended tour, longest in Arkansas history, the swirling clouds of death tore through 200 buildings of various zoning and dickslapped thirteen [[niggers|people]] to death. Many state residents were jealous afterward because the cyclone had only spent two hours in the state before being able to get the fuck out of it.
Proving that not even the weather fucking likes Arkansas the Shitstain state was the first to be visited by a highly vindictive twister. Said tornado was in it for the long haul and managed to travel 122 miles before getting bored of ripping [[white trash]] to shreds. In it's extended tour, longest in Arkansas history, the swirling clouds of death tore through 200 buildings of various zoning and dickslapped thirteen [[niggers|people]] to death. Many state residents were jealous afterward because the cyclone had only spent two hours in the state before being able to get the fuck out of it.


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=== Joplin, MO - ''May 22nd, 2011'' ===
=== Joplin, MO - ''May 22nd, 2011'' ===
Rated a 5 on the Fajita scale, with winds that would [[Curb Stomp|curb stomp]] [[Hurricane Katrina]]'s ass, this tornado killed 138 people, which is pretty fucking impressive considering this tornado only went through a portion of Joplin. After the tornado was done [[raping]] the city, volunteers from all around came to help out, and two of them were [http://www.policeone.com/health-fitness/articles/3737560-Helping-police-officers-struck-by-the-Joplin-tornado/ struck by lightning] in the process, thereby proving the theory that [[God]] really hates Joplin with a passion. Seriously even the [[hospital]] was completely flattened. No one was going to live through this shit. An elementary school was pretty much torn apart and a few kids were sacrificed to the wind gods.
Rated a 5 on the Fajita scale, with winds that would [[Curb Stomp|curb stomp]] [[Hurricane Katrina]]'s ass, this tornado killed 138 people, which is pretty fucking impressive considering this tornado only went through a portion of Joplin. After the tornado was done [[raping]] the city, volunteers from all around came to help out, and two of them were [http://www.policeone.com/health-fitness/articles/3737560-Helping-police-officers-struck-by-the-Joplin-tornado/ struck by lightning] in the process, thereby proving the theory that [[God]] really hates Joplin with a passion. Seriously even the [[hospital]] was completely flattened. No one was going to live through this shit. East Middle School was pretty much torn apart and a few kids were sacrificed to the wind gods.
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Other Events in Missouri that occured so far in 2011:
Other "events" in Missouri that occurred in 2011:
* April 22, 2011: The [[Friday|"Good Friday tornado"]], an F3, blew out windows at St. Louis International Airport, damaged homes from Berkely, Missouri to Granite City, Illinois. Somehow, no one died, which came as a huge [[disappoint|disappointment]] to the [[Jews]], who were behind the whole thing. The video surveillance video located in the terminal managed to capture the entire incident. Absolutely hilarious to watch. Slowly the people inside realize that their flight isn't taking off any time soon before realizing OH FUCK THERE'S A TORNADO OUT THERE. Turns out planes don't fly if you just throw them fast enough.
* April 22, 2011: The [[Friday|"Good Friday tornado"]], an F3, blew out windows at St. Louis International Airport, damaged homes from Berkely, Missouri to Granite City, Illinois. Somehow, no one died, which came as a huge [[disappoint|disappointment]] to the [[Jews]], who were behind the whole thing. The surveillance video located in the terminal managed to capture the entire incident. Absolutely hilarious to watch. Slowly the people inside realize that their flight isn't taking off any time soon before realizing OH FUCK THERE'S A TORNADO OUT THERE. Turns out planes don't fly if you just throw them fast enough.
* December 31, 2010: Tornados hits Fenton through Sunset Hills, and North St. Louis. Major damage in Sunset Hills. F2. Tornadoes? In ''MY'' December?! [[Centipede filled vagina|It's more likely than you think.]] Guess they should have learned their lesson from earlier in the year.
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* December 31, 2010: Tornadoes hits Fenton through Sunset Hills, and North St. Louis. Major damage in Sunset Hills. F2. Tornadoes? In ''MY'' December?! [[Centipede filled vagina|It's more likely than you think.]] Guess they should have learned their lesson from earlier in the year. The YT videos are all "aftermath", meaning BooooRING.


=== Springfield, MA - ''June 1st, 2011'' ===
=== Springfield, MA - ''June 1st, 2011'' ===
Some random, pussy-ass tornado that the [[hell|Midwest]] endures daily happened to hit Massachusetts on June 1st of 2011, killing 4 [[fags]]. Of course, it gained national attention partly because the area was so cramped with media-controlling [[Jews]] and partly because Massachusetts isn't as much of a [[shithole]] as the [[Kansas|Midwest]] is.
Some random, pussy-ass tornado that the [[hell|Midwest]] endures daily happened to hit Massachusetts on June 1st of 2011, killing 4 [[fags]]. Of course, it gained national attention partly because the area was so cramped with media-controlling [[Jews]] and partly because Massachusetts isn't as much of a [[shithole]] as the [[Kansas|Midwest]] is.
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=== Oklaholma Tornados -- '''May 20, 2013'''===
=== Oklahoma Tornados -- '''May 20, 2013'''===
[[File:Tornado God Misses.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Proof that God sucks at bowling.]]
[[File:Tornado God Misses.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Proof that God sucks at bowling.]]
[[File:Oklahomeless.jpg|right|200px|thumb|right|This sums it up.]]
[[File:Oklahomeless.jpg|right|200px|thumb|right|This sums it up.]]
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The fatass [[douchebag]]s from the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] think [http://anna-wants-to-chase-more-storms.tumblr.com/post/52010298825/the-lady-above-shirley-is-a-member-of-westboro God sent the tornadoes] because God hates [[fags]]. The WBC created a domain "godhatesoklahoma" out of sheer [[butthurt]], but a brave troll hacked the domain and redirected it to the Red Cross instead. Sadly, the domain no longer works, however [http://dddragoni.tumblr.com/post/52002657419/okay-i-need-to-talk-about-a-thing-on-may-20th-a some tumblrfag wrote about the lulz].
The fatass [[douchebag]]s from the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] think [http://anna-wants-to-chase-more-storms.tumblr.com/post/52010298825/the-lady-above-shirley-is-a-member-of-westboro God sent the tornadoes] because God hates [[fags]]. The WBC created a domain "godhatesoklahoma" out of sheer [[butthurt]], but a brave troll hacked the domain and redirected it to the Red Cross instead. Sadly, the domain no longer works, however [http://dddragoni.tumblr.com/post/52002657419/okay-i-need-to-talk-about-a-thing-on-may-20th-a some tumblrfag wrote about the lulz].
=== Bonus!! Washington, Illinois -- '''November 17, 2013'''===
Watch cellphone-waving idiocy at its most beautiful!
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Image:Tazdestruction1.jpg|Horrific footage of the aftermath. [[LOL|Horrible... Just horrible.]]
Image:Tazdestruction1.jpg|Horrific footage of the aftermath. [[LOL|Horrible... Just horrible.]]
File:Prettynado.jpeg|omg so pretty!!!!!
File:Prettynado.jpeg|omg so pretty!!!!!
 
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