View source for Yelp.com


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[[Image: js_yelp.jpg|thumb|Silicone Valley Salad Tosser and Yelp Co-Founder Jeremy Stoppelcunt]]
[[Image:Ma_kkk.jpg|thumb|Yelp.com White Conservative Racist [http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=Q2ypniXgxT93GCs1OCZpAw Mark A.] (right) with his longtime companion]]
[[Image:MA_ylp.jpg|thumb|An [[Kkk|Old School Conservative]] in his element. Mark A. during a Whites Only boat trip.]]
[[Image:Sd2_yelp_aw.jpg|thumb|Attention Whore and lifelong virgin [http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=40MywB-9aaAPmqRkThlaWw Scotty D] hugging girls he'll 
<s>never fuck</s> always be BFF with.]]
[http://www.yelp.com Yelp.com] is website used by trolls, shut-ins, 
[[Attention whores]], and registered sex
offenders to talk about how [[unwarranted self importance|interesting their lives are]]. Despite their user base, the site claims to offer restaurant and business reviews under the slogan [[lie|Real People Real Reviews]].<BR > In reality Yelp is written by lizard people who [http://sf.eater.com/archives/2008/07/08/lessons_in_shilling.php blackmail] businesses with bad reviews, and then "offer them the opportunity" to remove or demote these reviews for a [[butthurt|casual HJ]]. 

They were [http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=news/7_on_your_side&id=6495030 taken to task for this] on local TV recently, and true to form they sent one of their human representatives to [[delete everything|deny everything]]. Many business owners disagree, and [[fact|offered proof]].

Yelp is also a creative outlet for [[Internet tough guy|sociopaths,]] [[Crybaby |outspoken foodies,]] and [[emo]] comic book enthusiasts to constantly whine about their [[meth|psyche meds.]] Yelp users are 90% [[azn]] and 100% [[So_cash|douchebag]]. For example a strip club that wasn't dirty, full of perverts, and had hot [[azn]] [[wimmins]] may [[buttsecks|receive]] 2 or 3 star. [[You]] might think they are trolling, but they are just being fucking [[whiney]].


==Yelp Management==
Yelp is run by co-founder [http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=nkN_do3fJ9xekchVC-v68A Jeremy Stoppelcunt], ([[Gay |cock-worshiping]] techie) and [http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=G5LXEaxhQMF_BVjNHkVr7g Nish Nadaraja] ([[Hindu]] [[lie|hunk]], Kryptkeeper look-alike and part-time [[hindu|cab driver]]). Jeremy and Nish take time out from their marathon ass drilling to [http://www.yelp.com/elite patronize] users, and blow business owners who want to advertise with them. 

[[Conservative|Racist Republican rednecks]] and Asian twinks comprise the majority of Yelp's membership, and dominate Yelp's message boards. Racism is surprisingly OK with Jew because Yelp supports [[Unwarranted self-importance|free speech]] and that's what makes America great.

Jeremy routinely throws Yelp Elite Parties, where [[Shit nobody cares about|Yelp's most prolific writers]] are invited for free beer and finger foods as a reward for wasting their lives providing Jeremy with free site content. The only [[hot]] chicks at Yelp parties are [[Scenewhore|paid]] to be there, and they get to show up and [[Fake|make out]] for the cameras without having to write a fucking thing. They can be easily spotted [[Paris Hilton|fondling their egos]], having their picture taken with fugly, four-eyed, [[porn]] addicts, and whining on Yelp the next day about [[Almost Raped|"how drunk they got!!!!!!"]]

==Los Angeles Yelp==
Los Angeles Yelp is home to both drama and pretentiousness. This is probably because Los Angeles is also home to pretentious-drama-queen-epicenter Hollywood, which brings out the drama and pretentiousness in everyone who lives there. Many trolls frequent the threads.  

One of the more annoying attention whoring trolls there is Julie "Pinball" P.  Julie P. is known to be an androgynous (possibly male drag queen), racist [[Azn|Azn]] whore who acts like a racist, redneck, trailer-trash White whore.  She used to be a Yelp Elite member, and then gradually started trolling harder and harder when she realized that she was not getting enough suckers to respond to her trolling. 

Shortly after losing her Elite badge due to trolling, she had a major meltdown on the Yelp threads. She openly admits to being hooked on and abusing prescription drugs. Many Los Angeles Yelp regulars have observed that she needs to seek rehab and therapy for abuse and neglect that probably happened during her childhood and has led to her meltdown and prescription drug abuse.  Her account was deleted during her meltdown due to trolling, and since then she has created several hundred sock puppets (that she refers to as her "friends") and continues to troll the threads under various names such as Jackie C. and Holy R.

==How to Troll the Trolls==
*Register as a business owner and reply to reviews with offers of sex or personal docs
*Personally insult Yelp "Elite" members
*Post gore as business pictures
*Write a review of a fictional business
*Hit on closeted [[homosexuals]] with the compliment option

==See Also==
*[[Unwarranted self importance]]
*[[Serious business]]
*[[Drama]]
*[[Trolls]]
*[[SammyDS]] (Mentally unstable Yelper who famously faked his own suicide in a Yelp thread)

{{Web 2.0}}
[[Category:Sites]]