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{{spoiler|YOUR TWIN IS ACTUALLY THE LEADER OF THE FATUI, PAIMON IS SECRETLY [[Soup|EMERGENCY FOOD]], THE GODS ARE REBELLING AGAINST CELESTIA, AND FATUI ARE ACTUALLY THE [[Omg|GOOD GUYS]]!!!1!!1!}}

[[Image:GenshinImpactPromo.png|300px|thumb|right|The artwork they [[Catfish|catfish]] you with]]
[[Image:HomelessGenshinPlayer2.png|200px|thumb|right|Average Genshin Impact player in their natural environment]]

'''''Genshin Impact''''' is a 2020 Chinese [[The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild|Breath of the Wild]] [[ripoff]] "F2P" GOTY for [[Weebs|cultured gamers]]. With riveting gameplay that consists of running around aimlessly, slaying [[Weak|challenging]] monsters, not skipping 99% of the [[Boring|amazing]] [[Visual novel|dialogue]] it has to offer, and spending [[Parents|your]] money to gamble for [[Gacha Life|fictional characters]], it is [[Sarcasm|no wonder why]] this game got so many awards.

<s>Mihoyo</s> Hoyoverse, the creator of this shitshow, gained millions of dollars upon release, however the game is still [[Shit|exacly the same it's always been]]. The "fresh new updates" can be summed up with: '''(1)''' wait for new update, '''(2)''' spend money on new character(s), '''(3)''' go bankrupt, '''(4)''' repeat from step 1. However, the most fun part of the game is watching its [[Autistic Dumbfuck|brainwashed fanbase]] full of [[Facts|toxic, room temperature IQ, LGBTQ supporting faggots]] defending their perfect fictional [[Waifu|waifus]]/[[Husbando|husbandos]] from getting hated on [[Twitter|Twatter]]/[[YouTube|JewTube]].

== Plot ==

[[Image:GenshinTwinsSex.png|200px|thumb|right|The main story plot in a nutshell]]

You and your twin are enjoying [[Fucking|traveling through worlds]] together, until some random God [[Buttrapes|defeats]] you both and puts you asleep for 500 years. Upon waking, you meet your annoying tutorial companion called <s>Navi</s> [[Fag|Paimon]] that is just as insistent and commanding as a [[Yandere|psychopathic girlfriend]]. After calming yourself down to not [[Deepthroat|suffocate]] her to death, you start searching for your twin, defeating slimes and [[Niggers|other local inhabitants]] on your way. Eventually you learn that the [[Communists|Fatui]] control the world and you need to stop [[Putin|Tsaritsa]] from stealing everyone's [[Virginity|Gnosises]].
	
You then set out, mercilessly ravaging it of all its resources, [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|murdering helpless creatures on your path]], meeting new [[Fuck-buddies|companions]] to [[Fuck|help]] you on your journey, all while solving [[Conspiracies|the mysteries of this world]] and continuing your search for that sweet sweet booty of your twin.

The story is still unfinished, however the hogs at [[Clown World|Hoyoverse]] are [[Lazy|working their asses off]] at making the plot move as painfully slowly as possible. Per every main story quest, you get 7 completely irrelevant sidequests that all end with something like [[Mario|"Sorry, your princess is in another castle"]] or [[Idklol|"Idk wher ur twin iz lololol"]].

== Gameplay ==

If you haven't already completed all story and exploration yet, all you do is participate in [[Depression|events]] - farming, photography, other useless nonsense, and maybe some fighting if you're [[Desperate|lucky]] enough.

== The World of Teyvat ==

The world consists of 7 "continents" that all represent some element, are inspired by some real world country, and are all ruled by [[Retard|some God]] with [[Religion|some ideal]]. There were also others, but [[Lol|they got pwned or something]], like Sal Terrae, the land of salt, ruled by Havria. Unfortunately, they missed [[Fanbase|the other half of that community]], ruled by Tectone{{jew}}.

=== Monstadt ===

The land of [[Arborphilia|Freedom]], represented by wind. The God of Monstadt, Barbatos, [[Fart Fetish|loves the wind]]. This is where you start your journey towards [[Bankruptcy|the goal of the game]].

=== Liyue ===

The land of [[Law 4 Kids|Contracts]], represented by rocks.

=== Inazuma ===

The land of [[X|Eternity]].

== Characters ==

[[Image:PaimonAtGunPoint.jpg|thumb|right|Everyone's reaction to Paimon]]

=== Main Characters ===

* '''Aether (Traveler)''' - The main protagonist. Talks about as little as that [[School shooter|weird silent guy]] at your school. Can somehow use all elements despite lacking a vision, but just like the player, he still [[You|fails at actually being useful at anything]].

* '''Lumine (Traveler)''' - The twin you're trying to find/save so you can [[Twincest|continue where you last left off]]. However, if you're a [[Degenerate|degenerate]] that [[Loser|only chooses to play as female characters in games]], you can also play as her instead.

* '''[[Fag|Paimon]]''' - A rip-off of annoying fairy from [[The Legend of Zelda]] but in human form. She gets an [[Erection|erection]] every time she sees food and is secretly a parrot because she [[Stfu|keeps repeating the same points over and over to really make sure you didn't forget what was just said 6 seconds ago]]. Her only benefit is being emergency rations in case you ever get stranded on an island like Tom Hank.

* '''[[Alcoholic|Venti]]''' - The God of [[Alcoholism|Freedom]], also known as that [[Gay|weird]] bard that spends every penny on getting [[Drunk|crunk]] at the tavern every night after spreading [[Herpes|Justin Bieber music]] across the city. His special power is [[Goatse|spreading his buttcheeks so wide]] that his anus creates a black hole that [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|sucks in everything that fits inside]].

* '''[[Stoner|Zhongli]]''' - The God of [[Pyramid Scheme|Contracts]], the daddy figure every female wants to be stepped on. His daily routine consists of [[Lazy|doing absolutely fucking nothing]] whole day (or he's secretly [[Chad|slaying pussy of every female, including ur mom]]). Literally immortal. His special power is paralyzing you by slapping his [[McDonalds|trademark]] giant meatballs across your face.

* '''[[Loner|Raiden Shogun]]''' - The God of [[Virginity|Eternity]]. A hardcore [[Hikikomori]] that [[Useless|can't even cook her own food]]. Literally lives in a world inside her own mind. Hasn't touched grass for hundreds of years. Her special power is [[Plot|pulling a sword out from between her tits]] before turning [[Super Saiyan]] and then aimlessly swinging it around like [[Fag|Kirito]] from [[Sword Art Online]].

=== Other Playable Characters ===

==== Wallet Vampires ====

[[Image:HutaoSlapsRoofOfCoffin.png|300px|thumb|right|Casual conversation between characters]]

* '''[[Nerd|Albedo]]''' - Some socially distanced nerd that lives in the alps to sniff the [[Cocaine|snow]]. Paints [[Rule 34|the local scenery]] as a hobby and he secretly [[Pedophile|"prefers being around children"]] like Klee.

* '''Arataki Itto''' - The self-proclaimed beetle fighting [[Loser|champion]]. Literally gets [[Covid]] upon touching beans.

* '''Eula''' - Huge honkin' ass. Is into [[Revenge porn|vengeance play]].

* '''[[Furry|Ganyu]]''' - [[Goat sex|Every furry's and Scottish person's dream]]. Comes with three bazookas: [[Boobs|two for milk]], one for sending everyone to the afterlife.

* '''[[Creep|Hutao]]''' - The [[Scammer]] that stalks her prey before selling them her funeral services. Can't wait for you to die so she can gain more business.

* '''[[Canadian|Kaedehara Kazuha]]''' - The [[Hippie|hipster]] immigrant from Inazuma that gives [[Blowjobs|blowjobs]] to the local flora of Liyue to make them moan with melody. Probably owns a [[Breaking Bad|secret meth lab]].

* '''Kamisato Ayaka''' - Kamisato Ayato's sister. The most shallow character in the game. Even a pineapple has more backstory and personality to it than her.

* '''[[Terrorist|Klee]]''' - The perfect example of what happens when you give child bombs. We now have a maniacal loli that will grow up to become the successor of [[Bin Laden]].

* '''[[Jesus|Sangoniomiya Kokomi]]''' - A mermaid that can walk on water.

* '''Shenhe''' - 

* '''Tartaglia''' - The Fatui member that joins your team for some reason

* '''[[Fox|Yae Miko]]''' - Fox

* '''Yoimiya''' - This girl loves committing to the life of [[Arson|firework creation]]

==== Other Five-Star Characters ====

* '''[[Injun|Aloy]]''' - The protagonist from [[Horizon: Zero Dawn]] that Hoyoverse stuck into this world for [[Money|extra content]].

* '''Diluc''' - The guy that takes more time to cast their burst than it takes to read the entire [[Bee Movie]] script

* '''Jean''' - For someone owning their name, they sure don't wear a lot of Jeans *ba dum tss*

* '''Keqing''' - 

* '''[[Homeless|Mona]]''' - The homeless fortune teller that makes about just as much money as a real life fortune teller

* '''[[Zombie|Qiqi]]''' - An undead kid with the memory of a goldfish. Also known as the "Epitome of whale tears", she has singlehandedly recreated [[The Great Depression]] per every mugshot she gives you during wishing and increases your stage of [[Cancer|cancer]] per every constellation you receive.

==== The Actually Affordable Characters ====

* '''Amber''' - Literally [[Terrorist|Vanir]] from [[KonoSuba|KonoSuba]]

* '''[[Nun|Barbara]]''' - Laaa lallalaa laaa

* '''[[Pirate|Beidou]]''' - A sailor with so much alcohol and ego in their blood that they would fight a whale (and probably win)

* '''Bennett''' - The unlucky bastard that somehow never dies. Also owns 700 daddies.

* '''Chongyun''' - Popsicle boy

* '''[[Neko|Diona]]''' - The alcoholic cat girl every weeaboo fawns over

* '''[[Bird|Fischl]]''' - The girl that gets literally outshined by a bird

* '''[[Furry|Gorou]]''' - A literal dog

* '''[[Egomaniac-monster|Kaeya]]''' - The guy that only knows how to speak in sarcasm and irony

* '''Kujou Sara''' - 

* '''Lisa''' - The librarian that will actually bust through your front door if you haven't returned your books in time

* '''[[Cougar|Ningguang]]''' - Someone so rich they built an entire floating island, dropped it into the ocean, and then built another one

* '''Noelle''' - The local Monstadt maid that wants to become a solider

* '''[[Wolf|Razor]]''' - Wolf boy

* '''[[Hooker|Rosaria]]''' - A rebellious nun that probably earns more money from [[Fellatio|public community services]] than from praying to God. She moves faster during the night because she likes to [[Stalk|follow]] [[Shota|shotas]] around that time.

* '''Sayu''' - The traveler's personal taxi service girl

* '''Sucorse''' - 

* '''[[Janitor|Thoma]]''' - The guy that's able to fix more problems in a single day that you're able to fix in your entire life

* '''Xiangling''' - The chef that has a former god as their companion that can breathe fire... And she only uses it to light up the fireplace so she can cook food.

* '''[[Emo|Xiao]]''' - The emo kid in school that thinks everything in life is suffering and tragedy, never shows up in parties

* '''[[Femboy|Xingqiu]]''' - Bookworm

* '''Xinyan''' - Wannabe Davie504.

* '''[[Phoenix Wright|Yanfei]]''' - The law reinforcer

* '''[[Drama queen|Yun Jin]]''' - Drama

== Fanbase ==

The worst example of what a massive group of people with [[Down Syndrome|mental disabilities]] looks like.

== See also ==

* [[Down Syndrome]]: The disease that everyone in this fanbase suffers

* [[The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild|Breath of the Wild]]

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