View source for Suicide Girls

<center>[[Image:Sg_no_makeup.jpg|500px]]</center><br>
[[Image:Real_Suicide_Girl.jpg|thumb|Those other Suicide Girls are poseurs.]]
Do you like [[goth]]s? Do you like [[porn]]? Then what could be better than goth porn? That's right, the '''Suicide Girls''' are ready to flash their pasty [[tits]], awful [[retarded|kitschy]] tattoos that look like they were drawn by a [[13 year old boy]], and heavily-pierced [[cunts]] just for you (and the other billion people of the [[Internets]], of course). 

==Members==
[[File:Zui suicide tying off tourniquet shooting up something probably heroin.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.modelmayhem.com/114973 Zui Suicide] having the standard Suicide Girl [[heroin|breakfast]]]]
[[Image:Ira Suicide vol 3 by VelvetMemories.jpg|thumb|right|DO YOU LIEK ME NAU??]]
[[An hero|Suicide]] Girls (moar liek sue-your-hide girls, amirite?) <strike>([[You_mad|ed: shut the fuck up you are not right]])</strike> sends out the message that you don't have to be hot or have big tits for guys to pay $4 a month to jack off to your pictures.

The Girls are usually [[women]] who used to be [[fat]] and lost the weight, but not the [[Fat#Fat_characteristics|fat mentality]]. They are still [[attention whores]], and they still use [[internet disease]] photos. Many of the girls have simply been [[raped|hugged]] by their [[your_dad|Daddys]] too many times when they were [[When I was|young]]. Most of them have little or no [[boob]]iez, and the few that actually do have old lady sags. They also buy into that new age [[hippie]] bullshit that "everyone is beautiful, I'm just alternative."  Let's face it: you didn't lose enough weight, your tattoos are ugly, [[blood]] is not sexy and you're a stupid cow who needs to learn to fucking wax before a photo shoot, or at least put on a facial expression that doesn't scream "Fine, Daddy!  I don't need your love!"

At some point, a [[attention whore|female friend]] of yours may decide that she is going to send some [[Adobe® Photoshop®|pics]] to Suicide Girls. This is code for "I'm unhappy right now and I'm desperate for someone to tell me I'm pretty, even if it means threatening to show off my cunt to an internet audience." Let her know that regular porn pays better.

== We're SoOoO Alternative!!!1 ==
[[Image:SuicideGirls 6 by pinkeye.jpg|thumb|A [[furry]]/[[plur|raver]].]]
[[Image:SuicideGirls 16 by pinkeye.jpg|thumb|left|Om Nom Nom Nom]]

The Suicide Girls and their believing audience really are a misguided bunch of [[Cunt|twats]] to think that they are opposed to the mainstream.  This is to trick [[basement_dweller|guys]] into thinking the girls will actually [[secks|sleep]] with them, but [[Last Thursday|now]] piercings and tattoos are about as shitty and [[User_talk:Banaan|banal]] as you can get (and said guys will [[dying_alone|never have sex]] anyway). Most models can't manage more than a navel ring or a butterfly tramp-stamp anyway, prompting belief that these 'alternative' models really aren't much different from their mainstream counterparts. That they've submitted photos of their vaginas, under the impression the authors of SG appreciate their commitment to solid punk-art, demands [[lulz]], and lots of them.  It's porn disguised as artistic protest, and the fact that the Suicide Girls are obviously clueless only makes the site more tantalizing.

The photography is also pre-school and uninspired. Because the models have been wearing thick pancake makeup ever since they became goths [[Last Thursday|at 13]], they all have zits and blackheads the size of your fingernail, and the only solution is for the photographers to edit out everything but their tits with Photoshop. Recently, in order to seem more '[[Racist|diverse]]', they have been adding models who are [[niggers|non-white]] but are not  part of any recognizable subculture.  Their photography has also gotten even blander than before.

== We're Not Porn! ==

[[Image:Aries 009.jpg|thumb|Feminist and bold (read: [[ugly]])!]]

Despite providing fap material to the masses, the site touts itself as "[[art]]". 

If you want to piss off a Suicide Girl, tell her she's posing on a porn site. She'll get all prissy and defensive and try to spin it as some kind of [[lol wut|liberating feminist experience]] that's changed the way society looks at women -- never mind that "doing hot-ass porn" is way more edgy and alternative than "empowering women."  If they're not naive feminists, then they'll probably try to spin the site as simply "glamor". 

Despite promoting themselves as "art" pushers, the makers of Suicide Girls has a habit of selling the rights of the photos to hardcore [[porn]] sites.  This sparked a lot of drama [[last Thursday]] when the models were aghast to find themselves being referenced as cock hungry maniacs in dark corners of the web.

Notwithstanding this, Suicide Girls maintain that they are not porn stars, clearly missing the [[obvious]] point that if what they were posing for was not pornography, then hardcore porn sites would not want it.

== [[Internet Police]] ==

[[Image:Naziuniform.jpg|thumb|A RAPE BLOSSOM APPEARS]]

Sean Suhl, Missy Suicide and their harem of cock-sucking whores are the Illuminati of porn.  Whenever anyone mentions SG, they are there, scoping out the scene and trying to sue people for defamation. They are so paranoid about being badmouthed and copied that they have taken other alternative porn sites, like [http://www.DeviantNation.com Deviant Nation] and [http://www.godsgirls.com God's Girls], to court for merely existing. 

Since they've run the site for so long, they've become convinced that they own the copyright to tattooed knockers.  Thusly, they'll sue anyone who dares take pictures of them and posts them to the internet for fapping purposes.

The same e-cops have made it clear that you aren't allowed to express any form of opinion on the website or in the forums about the models, other than "OMG, ur so hawt can i cum on u??"  

Stating your opinion, whether just a general remark or a critique is an open invitation for site administration to [[pwn]] your ass.  Even though you are paying '''them''' $4 a month for their shitty small titty emporium, they think they have a right to tell you what to think and say. Unsurprising, considering Mussolini fapped to fatgirl tits and [[BME]] rejects during TEH WAR.

[[Image:Teahitlerlol.png|thumb|left|Tea (hearts) Hitler!]]

[[Last Thursday]], a suicide girl who calls herself [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=132329931 RAPE BLOSSOM] made a set of pictures in which she wore an SS Totenkopf pin, causing enough [http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=132329931 drama] to have the set removed from the site. Nana also enjoys dressing up like a small girl so that she can be drugged and [[rape|surprise sexed]].

[http://www.mediacruiser.org/2007/11/06/limits-of-alt-porn/ Nazi porn/Fake CP on media cruiser]

Nana's archival gave a quick and easy solution to girls requesting archive. When Sean would hesitate to archive more famous models so he can make extra sales by posting them as active members, the models would simply slap pro-Nazi images all over their page. INSTANT BANHAMMER.

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== Exclusivity [[Santa|Clause]] ==

Any fugly [[emo]] slut who is stupid enough to apply to become a [[Whore|Suicide Girl]] must first sign a [[Satan|contract]]. This is common practice for any modelling agency, but what makes SG [[Retard|special]] is how they managed to get so many girls to sign just a [[Shit|fucktarded]] document. The primary contract states that current SG models cannot shoot for a competitor website whilst under contract, especially webites dealing in [[Porn|erotica]]. This is reasonable for the industry, but SG goes that [[Almost Raped|one step futher]], stating that even after the contract is [[Pwn|terminated]] (expires, terminated early, etc.) the model still cannot shoot for another competitior for a further 2 years after the day that the contract expires. SG has tried to maintain a somewhat [[Trollface|decent face]] on this issue, by stating on their website that only models involved in "[[Buttsecks|special projects]]" are made to sign a exclusivity clause, which is complete bullshit owing to the editor having read a standard SG contract. 

In 2005 a [[Butthurt|dispute]] over the SG agreement caused many SG models, both under contract and unable to work due to the exclusivity agreement, to move to rival webistes [http://www.godsgirls.com GodsGirls] and [http://www.deviantnation.com Deviant Nation]. Both GodsGirls and Deviant Nation have both been [[Lolsuit|sued]] by Suicide Girls numerous times for using models under contract with SG and for apparent "copyright infringment".

== "Erotic" Literature==
[[File:Shining2a.jpg|thumb|Hawt.]]
The tome ''SuicideGirls : Beauty Redefined''  - published on December 1, 2008 - contains 396 pages of the most [[HARDCORE|HARD<big>XXX</big>CORE]] and hawt [[pornographic|artistic]] stills available today on Amazon.com for anyone with access to [[daddy]]'s credit card.  Just when you thought that smashing your modem with a hammer would save you from being blinded by the sun reflecting off one of these pale monstrosities, now you can get them through new medium entirely for the [http://www.amazon.com/SuicideGirls-Beauty-Redefined-Missy-Suicide/dp/1934429163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1236265522&sr=8-1 low, low price of $31.32] (plus shipping).

==Summer Camp DVD==

In a proud tradition of liberating women, SG decided to honor suggestions and contributions from their models for an upcoming second DVD with a promise of consideration for one of the casting options which led to hundreds of money making ideas and free content in the form of photos and videos. Meanwhile, the DVD was already being filmed with the pre-chosen models who later returned to claim "OMG I AM LIKE SO '''(DRAMA)TIZED''' FROM THAT TRIP!" This marketing gimmick backfired on site owner and founder Sean Suhl when he failed to realize that his models are retarded fuckups who can't understand linear time. Their premature [[EXTREME_ADVERTISING|ad campaign]] debuted before announcements had been made on who would be included in the video.
The [[butthurt|divatastic]] bitches of SG collectively cried out, [[Bawwwww|"BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL CASTING?!?!"]]

Lots of exciting drama took place and many lulz were had. [[LiveJournal]] was full of images from a secret group called, "''beige lion''" which is an anagram for "ONE BIG LIE." ''Beige lion'' screencaps include the ''true'' adventures of saggy-tit faux-punks hiking in the forest and no mentions of bear maulings (much to my dispointment). Fractal even took the time to promote the new DVD with a fake heartfelt plea for sympathy sent to an anti-SG community. Poor baby was hacked and exposed before the message was even read. '''sob sob sob'''

{| border=1 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 align=center
|colspan=3 align=center|BEIGE LION
|- 
|[[Image:Sgfuckery1.gif|thumb]] || [[Image:Sgfuckery2.gif|thumb]] || [[Image:Sgfuckery3.gif|thumb]] 
|} 

''Moral: If you want everyone to buy your new DVD but don't mind losing 40 staff members then pretend you were raped by a forest animal and hit in the head with your friend's severed leg.''

==Amina Munster==

The resident gimp has a large fan following, not because she's hot but because she's a total bitch.  If newbie models aren't willing to lick her stumps in admiration, then she will proceed to piss on them and make their time with SG hell.

She is recognized mostly for being a [[butterface]] twat, acting as though she's [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|the most hardcore SG evar]], forcing other fake-titty white trash to be accepted as models, and ragging on other SGs - most notably easy targets like [[Vanessa Alexandra]]. The fact that Vanessa is a pathetic [[Wapanese]] whinebag does not make Amina any less of a heinous cunt. It is, however, still pretty lulzy. 

Amina has also been known to totally fag up promotional work for the site and [http://community.livejournal.com/sgirls/558194.html#cutid1 photography work that she agreed to do].  This has caused a mass amount of butthurt in the past and has made her a lot of enemies.  If she was any other girl she probably would have been archived, but since Stumpy brings in the green, this probably won't happen until they get another cash cow.

She also thinks that she is more "alt" than all of the other girls because she is in fact, Stumpy. Also, how Universal has not yet attempted to sue her ass for her use of the name "Munster" is anybody's guess. Oh, wait...they likely have no fucking clue she even exists. Nevermind.

Amina's real name is Christina Juliani and now she makes belts [http://www.etsy.com/feedback_public.php?user_id=6159676 that fall apart in 2 hours]. She doesn't have a real job and its no surprise why. Who'd hire her gimpy negligent ass.

==Hopeful SG's==

[[Image:Pin up Original by urbanprimitive2002.jpg|thumb|100px|Suicide Girl hopeful.]]

Fallen victim to Suicide Girls tactics, brain-washing and coercion, impressionable young trollops all over the internet are ignoring everything their parents told them and now think that posting naked pictures of themselves online is a desirable and smart thing to do.  These young ladies are flocking to apply to be models, and are getting turned down by the barrel full.

The site, however, tells these rejects not to be discouraged by the slam.  Instead, they encourage these fuckwits to buy a subscription and then post naked photos of themselves to the site, as if this is somehow going to change the administrations mind and actually garner themselves respect in the process.  

To a normal person, this sounds very obviously like '''paying''' Suicide Girls to "model" for them, only with out the dignity of actually being called a model.  But for some twisted reason, literally [[at least 100|hundreds]] of girls are falling for it.

Models are threatened by the free content provided by hopeful future models (in the HOPEFULS section) and regard them as lesser beings.  This might not seem to be "in the spirit of Suicide Girls", but considering Sean Suhl considers the models themselves to be lower than dogshit, it's pretty appropriate that this pecking order has formed.

{| border=0 cellpadding=5 cellspacing=0 align=center
|'''<u>HOPEFULS OF SG</u>''' 
|- 
|[[Image:N568960496 17174 5632.jpg|thumb| the threat]] || [[Image:Previewmedium2.jpg|thumb|clearly a threat]]  || [[Image:Previewmedium3.jpg|thumb|<s>too sm3xy!!1!one!</s> She's doing it wrong.]] 
|- 
|[[Image:Previewmedium4.jpg|thumb|Get back in the fucking box!]]  || [[Image:Previewmedium5.jpg|thumb|THHRREEEAATT!!!!!!!]]  || [[Image:Previewmedium6.jpg|thumb|it's a taaarrpp@@@@]]
|-
|[[Image:Previewmedium7.jpg|thumb|[[Ian Brandon Anderson|beetle-something]]???]]  <!-- [[Image:SuicideGirlsHopeful.jpg|thumb|Someone think of something]] --> || [[Image:Previewmedium8.jpg|thumb|not model enough for SG]]  || [[Image:Previewmedium9.jpg|thumb|FAIL [[loli|LOLI]]]] 
|-  ||
|}

==Zoe Quinn==
Before [[GamerGate]], before she was a career-jumping whore name [[Zoe Quinn]], she was a career-jumping whore name [[Locke Valentine]]. Here is her gallery of her Suicide Girls nudes before she career jumps into another money-flowing adult industry that is Deviant Nation in 2007.

<u>'''Fun Fact'''</u>: When you look at her profile on that site she admits that she is constantly [[masturbating]].

<center>
{{frame|{{cg|Butterface McAcup|gallery1|center|<gallery perrow="6">
File:Zoe Quinn Nude1.jpg|Seriously, [[Kotaku|someone]] went out of their way to fuck this pink-haired fugly suicide cow?
File:Zoe Quinn Nude4.jpg|Babyfat
File:Zoe Quinn Nude7.jpg
File:Zoe Quinn Strip (33).jpg
File:Zoe Quinn Strip (34).jpg|The Beast in all its glory.
File:Zoe Quinn Strip (36).jpg|This is what [[Soyboys|gaming journalists]] put their careers on the line for. [[Yes|Are they that desperate to get laid?]]
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</gallery>}}|border=black|background=white}}
</center><br />

==Random Facts==
*The [[MySpace]] profile is viewable to users under the age of 18. Get'em brainwashed while they're young and fresh!
*The [[circle jerk]] is stronger than [[The LiveJournal Circle Jerk|LiveJournal]] could ever offer. 
*Suicide Girls is the right place to be if you
** hate yourself and want to have people compliment you
** love yourself and want to have people compliment you
** chronically masturbate to Myspace photos of girls with star tattoos (this is the quality you will receive at SG)
*Suicide Girls will appear "alternative" to you if
** you're retarded
** you're from the midwest (see above)
** you work at Hot Topic
** you have a brain tumor
*Suicide Girls is '''not''' for you if
** you like porn
** you know how to read
** you have eyeballs
* Has-been [[brainlesswonder]] frequently trolls LJ group SGirls as user:''conceptualpete'' and nobody cares this time. Bwaaahhhhh wah!!!

==See Also==
* [[Alt-Porn]]
* [[Aries]]
* [[Internet model]]
* [[Lithium Picnic]]
* [[Porn]]
* [[Pro-Ana]]
* [[Stripper]]
* [[Vanessa Alexandra]]
* [[Whore]]
* [[Zoe Quinn]]

==External Links==
* [http://gothtease.com/ Goth Tease]
* [http://www.punkrockgirlfriend.com/ft=ae18736-07d8adea/tour3.html?cf=0&pp=2 Punk Rock Girlfriend]
* [http://she-devil-dolls.com/main.php?bill=oakb She Devil Dolls]
* [http://suicidegirls.com/ Suicidegirls.com]
* [http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2008/08/suicidegirls-death-by-chocolate.html This looks shooped...]
* {{ljcomm|user=sgirls}} ([[TL;DR]] & many [[Flame wars]])

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[[Category: Subcultures]]