View source for Shay

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'''Shay''' was a mentally [[retarded]], bed-[[shitting]] 500lb tub of lard who stirred up a lot of drama on the [[internet]] by being [[fat]], smelly, ugly, (and eventually [[dead]]). Not much is known about Shay, except that it was yet was another victim of chronic obesity which eventually led to its death and the burning of the body. The story involved a [[LiveJournal]] user by the name of {{lj|Shiroioji}}, who harbored this thing in his house for the longest time until he eventually did [[Murder|the right thing]]. As you read this article, you'll learn about the life of Shay and its experiences.

[[Image:shay.jpg|thumb|200px|Would you let this thing near you?]]
== The Early Years ==
Shay and Shiroioji met [[100 years ago]] on the interwebs, through a [[gay]]/[[lesbian]] parenting community she had been very active in. She mostly wrote about raising her son, Shane, as a single [[lesbian]]. They [[Cyber|talked online]] actively, until they both acquired cell phones. Often times, while Shay and Shiroioji were on the phone, Shay's son, Shane, would [[pedophilia|chat with  Shiroioji]] on the computer.

Shay was soon kicked out of her house by her evil [[grandmother]], rumored to be [[this_is_warmth]]. She, in the typical fatass style, went from place to place staying with friends, generally being a disgusting burden on everyone. But this did not last long, and she soon asked Shiroioji to stay at his place, and get her bearings. He agreed, thinking he would get [[Laid|some]].

== Shay: the Friend, the Roommate, the Smell ==
Upon moving in with Shiroioji, the house started to smell like "dirt and rotting vegtables". This was supposedly due to a [[Disease|hormonal imbalance]], "which would mean that she had a [[Ass|bum]] full of [[shit]] that couldn't be [[Douche|wiped]]". After  Shiroioji got in trouble with his landlord he arranged for her to stay with one of his friends, and she would have a job to pay rent. Sounds like a fair arrangement, [[amirite]]?

Well, she soon got in trouble with the new landlords as well due to the stink, causing drama in the complex, and being an overall fat burdensome animal. 

This is what sparked a chain of events.

== The Beginning of the End ==
Shiroioji received an [[e-mail]] from Shay saying that she was going to "[[Self pwn|do what she had to do]]", and then an e-mail from her son, saying she was going to hurt herself, so he called 911. Upon arriving to her house, they found she had downed a bottle of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valerian_(herb)#Dosage Valerian root], and arrested her, although nobody could figure out how they got handcuffs around her basketball wrists. Later, Shiroioji called her father.

[[Tl;dr]], her father is actually her step father, and she has no son. Shane was just Shay pretending to be a boy. None of the friends she's ever stayed with have met him. The reason for this is because he [[abortion|died soon after birth]], being too small. Her body was so gluttonous that it actually denied the boy nutrients in the womb. As Shiroioji wrote, she "took the fun out of dysfunction".

SO, back to the real reason we're here. She left Statik's place a mess. So, Shay being Shiroioji's friend first, he went to help.

Basically, it went like this: [[Period|menstrual blood]], shit stains EVERYWHERE, one duffel bag full of food trash and more [[shit]], another duffel bag containing two 2-litre bottles of urine and assorted waste. The bed sheets were stuck together with diarrhea dried between them. Apparently she has slept in this for several days. If a professional cleaning crew was called to make a budget, it would have probably amounted to [[Over_9000|at least $9,001]].

== Home Jenkem Factory ==
The [[old|new]] found drug [[Jenkem]] prompted officials to research Shay from the evidence of bottles filled with collected Jenkem. It turns out that Shay forced herself to have diarrhea so she could mass produce Jenkem. She would then go to the middle school nearest her and sell the Jenkem for $10 dollars a dose. The police caught on but it was too late...

{{squote|hay shay how is ur new home i bet every1 there thinks ur the shit|parodyofanangel}}

== Death ==

[[Image:Shay2.jpg|thumb|NEVAR FORGET!!!]]

Shortly afterwords, Shay shit the bed, figuratively this time.  She was found dead on the floor near a multitude of candy wrappers. She died from [[diabeetus|diabetic]] [[barrel roll|overdrive]] or some shit, which is Latin for eating yourself to death because you're a damn fatass. [[Noone|No one]] was sorry. They decided to [[kill it with fire|burn her body]] like they would any dead mule, but the fire lasted so long from burning off the fats that the apartment complex caught fire (damn, amirite?).

<center><gallery>
Image:Shitshay1.jpg|Shay's bed. Looks innocent enough.
Image:Shitshay3.jpg|But there is shit around the side.
Image:Shitshay6.jpg|She had been crapping in the bed she slept in.
Image:Shitshay8.jpg|A lot.
Image:Shitshay9.jpg|For a LONG time.
Image:Shitshay10-pants.jpg|And on herself.
Image:Shitshay11-pants.jpg|A lot.
Image:Shitshay2.jpg|For a LONG time.
Image:Shitshay12-pants.jpg|Still going.
Image:Shitshay5.jpg|Special reusable toilet paper.
Image:Shitshay4.jpg|hawt
Image:Shitshay14-toilet.jpg|So much action, the toilet overflowed? ZOMG
Image:Shitshay15t.jpg|In her apartment.
Image:Shitshay16.jpg|Is that yogurt on the left?
Image:Shitshay17-urinebottles.jpg|She also saved her urine, because you never know when you'll need some.
Image:Xzibit shay.jpg|[[Xzibit|Nothing is safe]]!
</gallery></center>

== See Also ==
* [[Fat]]
* [[Shit]]
* [[Diabeetus]]
* [[Hambeast]]

==External Links==
* [http://shiroioji.livejournal.com/114944.html#cutid2 Original article]
* [http://manicmouse73.livejournal.com/835.html?thread=4931#t4931 Zing!] (on Shay's new LJ)
* [http://shiroioji.livejournal.com/129351.html Initial announcement of Shay's death.]
* [http://shiroioji.livejournal.com/129918.html Description of Shay's body postmortem.]

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{{Timeline|Featured article February 25, [[2007]]|[[I'm so confused]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[The Wikipedia Review]]}}

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