View source for Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/Archive

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==February 2022==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Dogpatch Press}}
{{ib|[[File:patchofurr.jpg|right|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Dogpatch Press''' </big>}}
{{Ibrow|'' Real Name|Patrick Lake'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''AKA|Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Birthday|Unknown (approx 30+)'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Species|[[Dog|Husky]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sub-Species|[[Journalist]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Genus|[[Furry]]'''}}
{{Ibend}}

<div style="text-align: justify">'''Patch''' (AKA '''Dogpatch Press''', '''Patch O'Furr''' '''Patch Packrat''', '''Blake Killpatrick''', or [[powerword|'''Patrick Lake''']]) is a [[sociopath]] and [[usi|self-proclaimed]] [[furfag]] "journalist" best known for his news website of the same name titled "Dogpatch Press", and for having numerous [[Autistic screeching|autistic fits]] about [[nazis]], [[nazifurs]] and furry raiders. We know this because he will never [[shut the fuck up]] about them, and he continually inserts himself into furry raiders drama for no other reason than to get clout. When this waste of human life isn't publishing [[fanfiction|hard-hitting journalism]] on his [[snca|gay little news website]], he's getting [[Masturbation|jerked off]] at [[gay pride|pride events]] and getting slapped with [[lawsuits]] for fraud and libel. In a community filled with [[pedos]], [[camwhores]], [[autists]], [[Beastiality|dogfuckers]] and [[antifa]]-endorsing [[neets]], this guy not only manages to be the biggest, greasiest shitsmear on the underpants of the furry fandom, but excels in finding new ways of validating himself as the biggest, most gigantic, most unlikable super-supreme-ultra-mega-faggot in the entire universe that has ever existed ''and will ever exist''.

Nazis here, Nazis there, Nazis every-fucking-where! That's the mind of the [[batshit insane]] [[roody-poo]] [[candy-ass]] behind the AltFurry blockbot, and that's the mind of anyone that uses it. Anyone right of Stalin is literally part of a death cult and the only salvation is to ignore every furfag not following the script. That's right, either you're a [[Stunning and Brave|stunning and brave]] [[trans]] [[Neets|neet]] [[otherkin]] fighting one of many self-diagnosed mental illnesses, or you're a jack-booted [[Hitler Youth]] involved in a far-right conspiracy hell-bent on the destruction of the free liberal world. Why are you mad anon? You'd only be mad if you were a Nazi. Oh you're not mad? Nazi confirmed. [[Pwnt]] [[n00b]] LMAO UwU><br />

{{center|<big>'''[[Dogpatch_Press|IN CASE YOU COULDN'T ALREADY TELL HE REALLY HATES NAZIS XDDDD]]''' </big>}}

==January 2022==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Conner_Lupindo_Hemming}}
{{ib|[[File:ConnerIRL.jpg|right|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Conner Lupindo Hemming or AshiPaws''' </big><sub>or whatever he decides to call himself next week</sub>}}
{{Ibrow|'' Real Name|Zachary Scott White'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Given Names| Dracofoxy, Malik A. Pawtendo, Ashi Paws, AshiPawpers, Malik Azreal Megedagik, Ashiato H. Watakashi, Conner Lupindo Hemming, ShadowConner, ConnerFirehawk, KaneSmith, Canidane Foxclaw, StrawberryPawz, MacroFurry, Chronic Vil Megedagik, Corgifox}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Birthday|Unknown (estimated 29)'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Species|[[Wolf]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sub-Species|[[Fake|Mimic]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Genus|[[Furry]]'''}}
{{Ibend}}

<div style="text-align: justify">'''Conner Lupindo Hemming''' ([[Powerword]]: '''Zachary Scott White''') is an [[asspie]] [[furfag]] whose tantrums have led him to make some rather [[homosexuality|unfortunate decisions in his life]]. Between plugging his shitty band or in the midst of a vendetta against any of his numerous former internet flings, Conner got the idea that [[X is not your personal army|he could entice Encyclopedia Dramatica to attack his enemies for him]] due to his crippling incompetency.</div><br />

<div style="text-align: justify">It all started, as it so often does, on a humble little website known as [[DeviantArt]]. Conner started out his ban evading when he got banned from chatrooms on dAmn, Deviantart's social network. From there it went to Secondlife, where he roomed with a few "friends", and threw a hissy fit when one of them left a cock waffle, a prim penis with a waffle texture on it, in his room. He later claimed that setting eyes upon that cockwaffle actually turned him into the cock-loving [[faggot]] he is today.</div><br />

{{quote|Seeing that cockwaffle actually turned me gay...|Conner [[Bullshit|claiming a prim penis on Secondlife turned him into a faggot]]}}><br />

{{center|<big>'''[[Conner_Lupindo_Hemming|WE ALL LIKE A LITTLE COCKWAFFLE]]''' </big>}}
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==March 2019==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Sonicfox}}
{{ib|[[File:Sonicfox.jpg|right|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Sonicfox'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'' Real Name|Dominique McLean'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Given Names| Sonicfox, Sonicfox5000}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Birthday|March 2, 1998'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Species|[[Gay|Homo]]'''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Sub-Species|[[Nigger|Black]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Genus|[[Furry]]'''}}
{{Ibend}}

<div style="text-align: justify">'''Sonicfox''', a.k.a. [[Powerword|Dominique McLean]], is a self-described [[SJW]] [[an hero|anti-hero]] of his own making, who, as his [http://archive.is/XIyjn self-promoting] Wikipedia article claims, is capable of mastering all new games and characters at a phenomenal rate, most likely because he won't leave his house without his fur suit on.</div><br />

<div style="text-align: justify">He has recently made a name for himself by overcoming his blackness and lack of opposable thumbs by becoming the highest-paid fighting games player in the world as of December 2018, proving that it is possible to make a living without having a life.</div><br />

<div style="text-align: justify">Like most left-leaning [[leftards|libtards]] with newfound fame, he is convinced that there is a right-wing conspiracy against him and has no qualms about voicing it, in some rather spectacular and [[lulz|lulzy]] ways. We must admit, it is better than most sitcoms on TV.</div><br />

{{Quote|I’m gay, Black, a furry—pretty much everything a Republican hates|[https://www.dailydot.com/parsec/gay-black-furry-sonicfox-esports-far-right/ Sonicfox at Game Awards]}}<br />

{{center|<big>'''[[Sonicfox|(( EVERYONE HATES A FURRY ))]]''' </big>}}
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==January 2019==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Kero The Wolf}}
[[File:Kerothewolfyoutubeicon.jpg|thumb|250px|The Face of Evil]]
'''Kero The Wolf''' ([[Powerword]]: Joshua Hoffman), formerly known as '''Yami The Wolf''', is a [[Furfag]] [[YouTuber]] who decided fucking his dog would be [[Awesome|a great idea.]] He was generally regarded as a [[Oxymoron|respected member of the Furry community]] until [[Dox|info]] leaked from his [[Twitter|Twitter account,]] indicating that he practised [[bestiality|zoophilia]] and [[Necrofurs|necrophilia]] as well as having a [[vore]] fetish. There has even been talk of Kero's [[Allegedly|alleged]] involvement in [[pedophilia|pedophilia.]] [[You]] do the math. 

[[BAW|His dog Koda recently died]] of [[Surprise buttsex|kidney failure]], and Kero had no problem with admitting that he raped his dog on a regular basis. In the now infamous Telegram chat he expressed concern about his [[Pope Francis|friends raping and dismembering his dog THEN killing it.]] His "friends" assured that [[Jeffery Dahmer|they would never do that without his permission.]] 

Kero was the [[Sick fuck|furfag]] who was interviewed by the "popular" YouTuber [[Shane Dawson]] on July 6, 2017. As a result of Shane's fanbase being mostly autistic kids who watch shit like [[Jake Paul]], Kero went from having 10,000 subscribers to 90,000 subscribers after the interview video was published. He later reached 100,000 subscribers in early 2018, but this [[Karma|success backfired]] because it meant that when his sick fuckery was [[OH GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER|suddenly exposed,]] far more people knew who he was than at any previous point in his excuse for a life. 

{{center|<big>'''[[Kero The Wolf|(( "POPULAR FURRY YOUTUBER FUCKS DOG TO DEATH!!" ))]]'''</big>}}
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==February 2018==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|BlueCatRiolu}}
[[File:Rioluirl.png|right|125px]]
'''BlueCatRiolu''' (also known as '''Riolu The Blue Cat''' or simply '''Riolu''', [[Powerword|powerword]]: '''Nicholas Salerno''') is a cat-obsessed, narcissistic, chode-gargling fuckstain, who loves to shit out an endless slew of third-rate furry art on [[DeviantArt]]. All of his works are visibly mouse-drawn with one hand in [[MS Paint|Microsoft Paint]], freeing the other hand for [[Fap|more important activities]].  This [[Shart|art]] of his has the consistent quality of [[Chasethehedgehog|blocky, aliased shit]], always containing [[Andrew Dobson|inflation]], [[Vorarephilia|vore]], and other disturbing fetishes (like [[Gay|shipping same genders]] allegedly).

When not posting his scribblings, BlueCatRiolu enjoys his time on DeviantArt by begging for Points or a Core membership, and [[North Korea|writing hate journals about people who criticize him]], while linking to them in said journals.  These call-out journals have predictably created a strong animosity towards BlueCatRiolu, and as such he must be constantly guarded by a team of highly dedicated white knights, who stand ready to defend him from the evils of constructive criticism and his [[defector]]s.  

The fact that this guy and his atrocious works of art have pulled in over a half-million page views in a span of about five years, while many great artists squalor in comparative obscurity, should tell you a lot about the current state of DeviantArt, and its user base consisting of mostly teenagers.
{{center|<big>'''[[BlueCatRiolu|(( NOW ELIGIBLE FOR A KIWI FARMS THREAD ))]]'''</big>}}
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==April 2017==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Crinklemon}}
[[File:Shyanne_Garrett_-_Photos_-_07.jpg|right|125px]]
'''Crinklemon''', originally Ryan Palone, now known as Shyanne Garrett, is an over 30, self-identified [[seriously|hermaphroditic alien foxtaur baby inflationist with telekenetic powers]], his made up genetically retarded headmate's [[shit nobody cares about|pronouns are hir, shi and shit]] (okay I made up that last one), who works at Walmart creeping everybody the fuck out.  When he's not occupied pushing carts at this job, he's busy taking photos of himself [[Sick fuck|wearing shit-filled diapers]] in the store's family restroom, whilst playing pocket pool.  Get ready for a proverbial trip on NASA's "Vomit Comet" after an all you can eat buffet of cheap-ass [[Chinese]] cat 'n crap cuisine, cause this only goes down the diaper hole from here!
{{center|<big>'''[[Crinklemon|(( JUST A TYPICAL PERSON OF WALMART ))]]'''</big>}}
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== February 2017 ==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Viscerotonictsf}}
[[File:Viscerotonic.png|right|200px]]
Just when you thought [[dA]] had enough edgy little kids. Along comes [[Meaningless noise|Viscerotonictsf]] second coming to '''PrincessElizabeth013'''. A narcissistic hypocrite on many subjects like tracing, overreacting to anybody's opinion and criticism they have of her, her lack of copyright knowledge, trigger happy when someone draws or mentions her character and her obsessive behavior over her arch enemy of the internet {{dauser|kyrrahtw| Kyrrah the emo wolf}}, where she continues the drama for her thirst on Kyrrah and any filthy follower who supports her.

{{center|<big>'''[[Viscerotonictsf|(  ( DEVIANTART STILL MANAGES TO PISS OFF SOME OF OUR WRITERS SOMEHOW! ) )]]'''</big>}}

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== January 2017 ==
{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Fursuit}}
[[Image:Skunkrape.jpg|150px|right]]
A '''fursuit''' is an anthropomorphic animal costume worn by a [[furry]]. High-quality fursuits are really fucking expensive, as in thousands of dollars (plus a few hundred more on altering the suit so that it has an opening in the groin area so that the wearer can [[yiff]] while wearing it) but just like a [[rapper]] wearing a 5-pound gold chain, it does not give the furry himself [[worthless|any additional value]]. While not all fans of the [[Furry]] subculture own or wear fursuits, the only reasons any of them don't is because they're on [[welfare]].

<center>'''[[Fursuit|((IT'S NOT A PHASE DAD!!))]]'''</center>

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== July 2014 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Fluffy teh wolf}}

[[File:Fluffytheuglybitch.jpg|200px|right]]

'''Fluffy teh wolf,''' aka {{dauser|qu33n-fluffy}}, Kira, and Dru (or [[Powerword|Drucilla Violet Adams]] IRL), is a hideous land whale of a [[furfag]] who identifies herself as a [[Gender bender|"gender fluid"]] bisexual. She cheats and lies to everyone she encounters online and loves using people for free art. She pulls her own horrific art out of her outstretched vagina and plasters it all over the interwebz so everyone can see her [[lies|awesome anatomy skillz]]. All she does is bitch and whine about her problems that no one gives a flying fuck about, and she'll threaten suicide every time someone refuses to e-date her. She even draws underaged p0rn as a bonus. 

<center>'''[[Fluffy teh wolf|(( DATE ME OR I'LL KILL MYSELF ))]]'''</center>

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== March 2014 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|SmilehKitteh}}

[[File:LtSmileyBook.jpg|200px|right]]

'''SmilehKitteh''' (Powerword: Kierstin F. Martin) is, at first glance, one of many mediocre artists that infests [[deviantART]], but upon closer inspection has a soft, nougat [[Sick_Fuck|fetish]] center.
As is the case with anyone who is a furry, she has a sick fetish.
In Smiley's case, her [[fursona]] is a Russian Blue cat who is always getting spanked.
Now spanking, usually a shameful punishment for the person being spanked, is benign as far as fetishes go, if not for the simple [[fact]] this masochistic 23-year-old longs to have her ass bared then spanked.

<center>'''[[SmilehKitteh|(( I'D SPANK THAT ))]]'''</center>{{clear}}

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== February 2014 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Lapfox Trax}}

[[File:02142014 Lapfox Trax gabberstgg cover.jpg|200px|right]]

At first glance, Lapfox Trax looks like any other shitty indie electronic record label, with a twist.
It’s for [[furries]].
There's shitty music, repetitive beats, and fursonas on the album covers along with old vidya game references.
Dig deeper however, and you find out that not only is it even worse than it looks, but that Lapfox Trax is actually one man, "Ren [[Queer|Queen]]ston", shitting out album after album of pure garbage when he's done shoving [[Zeta Toy|ZetaToys]] up his ass and then writing songs about it.

<center>'''[[Lapfox Trax|(( LAPFOX TRAX ))]]'''</center>

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== January 2014 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Rangerphile}}
[[File:Rangerworshipplz2.jpg|200px|right]]
'''Rangerphile''' is the term used to describe the [[Ray Jones|sick mess]] of a person that is best described as the unique combination of a [[furry]] and a [[Christfag]], or possibly as a [[web 1.0]] version of a [[brony]].

These people -- if they may be called that -- engage in a [[sick fuck|pathological sexual practice]] known as '''Rangerphilia''', which is somewhat like [[pedophile|pedophila]], but rather than being into children, Rangerphilia consists of [[List of sex moves|insatiable perversion]] directed at the characters from the shitty Disney cartoon series ''Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers''.
<center>'''[[Rangerphile|(( RANGERPHILE ))]]'''</center>

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== December 19, 2013 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Lemonade Coyote}}
[[File:Lemonade Coyote Faggot.jpg|180px|right]]
'''Cyrus/Lemonade Coyote''' is the fursona of [http://www.facebook.com/tmccormick27 '''Timothy McCormick'''], a God hating furfag who had thought he a long life ahead of him. However, God had other plans.

Like all furs he was sexually abused as a child. Details are sketchy but it was probably his father, an uncle, the old man from Family Guy or maybe his dog. As a boy his favorite shows always had cartoon animals in them. No exceptions.
<center>'''[[Lemonade Coyote|(( Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS NEED JESUS ))]]'''</center>

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== November 25, 2013 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|TheoTheFox}}
[[File:Theobadge.png|180px|right]]
'''TheoTheFox''' (often just called "Theo" for short, and also known as "WildTheory" on [[DevianTART]]) is your local neighborhood [[sick fuck]] and [[faggot|artist]], offering lots of [[bullshit|cool]] stuff to the interbutts such as horribly drawn [[vore]], horrifying [[furry|furry porn]], and dog dicks for the whole family. He's a self-proclaimed [[nigger|"furry celebrity"]] and is a master of being an absolute-fucking-child, it's amazing how him and [[Chasethehedgehog]] aren't best friends. His daily diet consists of alcohol, other furries, otter dicks, otter vaginas, otter anuses, and otters. 
<center>'''[[TheoTheFox|(( THEO THE FOX ))]]'''</center>

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== May 10, 2013 ==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Anthrocon}}
[[File:LOLFURRIES.jpg|180px|right]]
'''Anthrocon''' is a [[convention]] in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania which started [[at least 100 years ago]] where furry artwork, memorabilia, and other [[crap]] is sold to [[fat]] guys with glasses. It's also a convention where [[fursuit]]ers prance around and talk about how Minevra Mink is hot. No [[women]] attend these [[furry]] conventions, they are all [[transvestite]]s. These "women" that attend Anthrocon are [[fugly]] bulldykes.
<center>'''[[Anthrocon|(( DEN OF EVIL ))]]'''</center>

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==May 3, 2003==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Bestiality}}
[[File:Sirkowski Furry Suit3.jpg|180px|right]]
'''Bestiality''' is the practice of having sex with animals. It is sort of like being a [[furry]], only the animals are real, alive, and, chances are, don't want you shoving your [[penis]] [[in the ass]] of their fine fuzzy fundament. It's also technically rape most of the time because animals cannot consent to sex.

<center>'''[[Bestiality|(( WHEN FURFAGGOTRY GOES TOO FAR ))]]'''</center>

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==April 15, 2003==

{{:Portal:Furfaggotry/Featured Article/title|Brony}}

[[File:Battletech Brony Blasting.jpg|300px|right]]

'''Bronies''' are the self-titled obsessive [[fantard| fanboy]] watchers of the television show [[My Little Pony|My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]], usually adult [[men]] who channel their latent homosexuality and/or daddy issues by watching a show which has an audience bracket that consists of [[loli|little girls]]. These [[basement dweller| basement dwelling]] sacks of neckbeard flesh latched their grubby hands onto everything pony as soon as they heard the whimsical theme-tune drift through their hairy ears. Bronies smothered themselves with all things related to the show, and spread their sick fetishism throughout the internet, declaring themselves the new collective of [[aspergers|asperger]] ridden [[no life|no-lifes]] on the block.

<center>'''[[Brony|(( HORSE FUCKERS ))]]'''</center>