View source for Ohio

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{{achtung|NAHH [[Nigger|BLUD]] THIS PAGE IS LITERALLY OHIO 💀💀💀💀😭😭😭 AND HAS MORE [[Skibidi Toilet|SKIBIDI]] RIZZ THAN YALL GYATT🥸🥸}}
{{Warning|A FUCKING TRAIN FULL OF CHEMICALS DERAILED IN EAST PALESTINE AND HAS CONTAMINATED THE OHIO RIVER}}
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[[Image:1ohioflag111.png|thumb|right|300px|Once you see this all you have to do is swim a tiny lake and you're in Canada]]
[[Image:Brianpeppers.jpg|thumb|220px|[[Brian Peppers|Actual Ohio Citizen.]]]]
[[File:Typical_ohio_citizen_mugshot_family_truck_hatchet.jpg|thumb|220px|And another]]
'''Ohio''' is a shithole excuse of a state in the [[Jewnited States]], in [[shit nobody cares about|Middle America]] and best described as the Armpit of America. It is only of importance every fourth year in Presidential elections where the Presidency can be won with only 27% of the popular vote by winning 270 electoral votes as Ohio has 18, down from 20 after the 2016 census.  The only reason anybody knows that the state exists is because, if you are doing a family show on Tv, they will most likely live in Ohio like ''Family Ties'' and ''Leave It To Beaver'', '''The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame''' being in [[Cleveland]] and '''The Football Hall Of Fame''' in Canton.

It is known for its [[fat|mass]] export of ''Drew Carey'' and for its releasing of ''Ed O'Neil'' on America.  Ohio is widely known for having four unique seasons -- almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

Ohio, or what North East Ohians like to call [[trailer trash|the trailer park of America]] or the rest of Ohio, is famous for having one of the highest populations of white supremacists, hicks, and retards (Unlike ED, they [[SRSLY]] believe Obama's a [[Muslim]]), due to its close proximity to [[Indiana]], and the [[hillbilly|ridge runner]] states of [[West Virginia]] and [[Pennsylvania]].

A favorite attraction of Ohio is creating moon-crater-sized [[goatse|potholes]] that rival [[Pennsylvania]]'s. Since it's so craptastic, no one bothers to fix them and after it rains, children can be found floating face down in them.<br>

{{Quote|<b>I just read that 80% of the astronauts that have made it into space are from Ohio.  What is it about that state that makes people want to leave the planet?</b>|Jay Leno}}

<center><youtube>bNjprOC_en4</youtube></center>


It's known for having four of the shittiest cities in America (and that's saying something): [[Cleveland]], Dayton, Columbus and [[Youngstown]]. Only [[Detroit]], [[New Orleans]] (the black parts), and Baltimore are worse. Other than [[Toledo]] (which isn't really so much "shitty" as it is unremarkable) all the other "cities" in Ohio are small towns filled with midwestern hicks that [[Shit nobody cares about|nobody cares about]].

''Note to Eurofags'': Don't bother using Ohio as an example of [[Why do you hate America?|why America sucks]]. Ohio is the butt of every joke ever in the USA. Everyone hates Ohio and Ohioans (yes, that's what you call them). But [[Detroit]] is way worse.

If you are born in Ohio, you will never leave Ohio for good. The only way to do so is to become president, become an astronaut, invent a mode of transportation, host The Price Is Right or be [[nigger|LeBron James]] and betray the state to such a level that the only intelligent option is to run away.

==Geography==
Ohio is round on the sides and high in the middle. The streets are under constant construction and always littered with dead animals, and depending where you are and the time of day, bodies.

==State Government==
<center><youtube>nd_JAo5cfdg</youtube><br>
He didn't win the election.</center>

==Typical Ohio resident's activities==
[[Image:WelcomeToOhio.jpg|thumb|If you move to Ohio, be prepared to stay for a while.]]
[[File:Me as a nurse by sony mae-d31wfm1.jpg|thumb|Just your average Ohioan]]
[[File:Yiff license plate.jpg|thumb|Actual [[Yiff|license plate]] in Ohio.]]
* Sit on your ass
* Watch football
* Throw rocks at cars with michigan license plates as they are trying to drive to [[Florida]] (because John Kasich hates trains)
* Ask the evil John Kasich why he hates trains, only for him to lock you up for questioning him.
* Get into fistfights with Steelers fans because no [[Shit|Browns]] fan can verbally  explain why the [[Shit|Browns]] dont [[suck]].
* Drink
* Drink
* Continue to drink
* Plan your suicide.
* Attend the nation's largest [[gay|Country Concert]] in Fort Loramie
* Drink because you just wasted part of your life at a Country Concert in Fort Loramie 
* Go over to Fairfield Mall and have a [[orgy|really fun time]] with the teenagers there.
* Kill 11 people and leave them in your house like the dumb nigger you are. [http://archive.fo/XKXzM  Ohio is known] for producing 8999 serial killers, most of whom [[DO NOT WANT|leave Ohio]]. See [[Ohbutyouwillpet]] and [[Jeffrey Dahmer]].
* Own a small town
* Get all your stuff repoed because of payday loans.
* Get an [[STD]]
* Drink because of [[STD]]
* If you're from Southern Ohio, go to a [[gay]] bar looking to pick up a fag and then kick the fag's ass when your friends see you with him.
* Watch football because you're a redneck
* Start a shitty college band at [[Shit nobody cares about|Ohio State University]]
* Get addicted to [[meth]]
* All the cool kids are saying [[Heroin]] is the in [[drug]] this year.  
* Go Fagging.  This is where young boys try to pick up older men for money at a mall.
* Drink because of your addiction
* Watch civilization degrade at a rapid pace
* Drink because of said degrading
* Philosphise on how Lake Erie smells exactly like [[your mom|your mom's]] [[cunt]].
* Claim that this is the year that OSU doesn't lose to an SEC team in the National Championship (Note: This will never happen)
* Hate on Michigan and University of Michigan (good for easy trollans)
* Start a methlab.
* Arguing over tornado sirens.
* Start a war over who owns Toledo (Wait, that's [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toledo_War already been done])
* Go to a [[hockey|Columbus Blue Jackets]] game
* Drink because you know you can never leave
* Hoard exotic large cats because of lax state laws, then set them loose on an unsuspecting populace and an hero for maximum lulz [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44953925/#.Tp7TG7LeuuI]
* [[Steve Stephens|Shoot a innocent elderly man of your own race out of pent up anger and frustration because your wife cucked you]]
*Set the Cuyahoga [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuyahoga_River River] on fire for the, what, third time?
*Drink to the river's flames which represent all your dreams going up in smoke.

===Public oral sex===
{{main|Rape Culture}}
In 2013, a video went viral of some chick getting licked out in broad daylight on a busy street. This happened a block away from a police station outside Athens, Ohio. After feeling ashamed, she [[WTF|filed false rape charges]] even though in pictures and witness testimony she was clearly conscious, smiling, pulling his head into her, and telling him not to stop.

Naturally the media blew this out of proportion and simply believed the woman at her word that it was a rape and called her a 'victim' and such even though the jury saw through the bullshit and threw it out:
*[http://www.heavy.com/news/2013/10/vance-blanc-ohio-u-rape-photo-tweet/ '''"Ohio U Student Tweets Picture of Alleged Sexual Assault in Progress"'''] (Archived {{archive|KQlcm|1}} {{wayback|http://heavy.com/news/2013/10/vance-blanc-ohio-u-rape-photo-tweet/|title=2}})
*[http://www.newser.com/story/comments/175963/people-filmed-sex-assault-instead-of-stopping-it-cops.html '''"People Filmed Sex Assault Instead of Stopping It: Cops"'''] (Archived: {{archive|VI4ZY|1: (Robots)}} '''2: File copy [[:File:People filmed sex assault - newser october 16, 2013.png|(Complete)''']])
*[http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/photo-public-sex-act-rape-woman-article-1.1487092 '''"Photo of couple engaging in public sex act actually picture of rape, female student says"'''] (Archived: {{archive|IUpNi|1}} {{wayback|http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/photo-public-sex-act-rape-woman-article-1.1487092|title=2}})

Other news sources were somewhat neutral in their headlines:
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2478586/Ohio-University-alleged-sex-assault-No-charges-filed.html '''"No charges to be filed in alleged Ohio University sex assault that was tweeted and photographed by passersby"'''] (Archived: {{archive|XOo1m|1: (Robots)}} '''2: File copy: [[:File:Daily mail no charges alleged ohio sex assault oct 29, 2013.png|(Complete)''']])
*[http://www.ibtimes.com/twitter-photo-public-sex-rape-or-it-ohio-university-student-says-she-was-raped-report-1429302 '''"Twitter Photo Of Public Sex Is Rape; Or Is It? Ohio University Student Says She Was Raped "'''] (Archived: {{archive|KZJOG|1}} {{wayback|http://www.ibtimes.com/twitter-photo-public-sex-rape-or-it-ohio-university-student-says-she-was-raped-report-1429302|title=2}})
*[http://totalfratmove.com/public-oral-sex-at-ohio-university-blows-up-on-social-media-rape-alleged/ '''"Public Oral Sex At Ohio University Blows Up On Social Media, Rape Alleged"'''] (Archived: {{archive||1}} {{wayback|https://totalfratmove.com/public-oral-sex-at-ohio-university-blows-up-on-social-media-rape-alleged/|title=2}})
[http://www.worldstaruncut.com/uncut/63660 WATCH AND DECIDE THE TRUTH FOR YOURSELF]

{{morphquote|morphquote|background-color: white; margin: auto;|font-weight: bold;
|'''she was being raped, and afterwards took pictures with her rapist and bystanders?'''|Beantown
|'''I seen the unedited video and pictures, she was smiling the whole time'''|Brett Gibson
|'''i saw the video...not once did she protest, not once did she push him away, she actually put her hand on her head and thrust her pelvis up towards his face, enjoying it'''|Del Manzueta
|'''the video I saw online clearly shows the female taking he male by the back of the head and pushing his face into her crouch. A female can say what she wants after the fact but the video speaks for it self. I think she was probably drunk, enjoyed what was going on then got embarrassed when all H broke lose and decided to act the victim.'''|John Wall
|'''I saw the picture if she's being rape, she is sure was enjoying it.'''|Rozita
|'''The woman did not show any resistance nor did she ask for help in away and did not seem to be anything other than a willilng participant. People were present recording this and you're telling me she could not stretch a hand out or utter a word or show any sign that she was trying to get this guy off of her? If she was drunk to the point she was incoherent, she wouldn't have even been able to prop herself upright.'''|Subliminal18
}}
<br>
<center>
<gallery>
File:OhioKalVizuals.png
File:OhioSmile.png
File:TomPyle.jpg|Tom Pyle
File:VanceBlanc.jpg|Vance Blanc: a 19 year old student at the scene who uploaded pictures to his Twitter
File:RachelCassidy.jpg|[http://archive.fo/KXSfN Rachel Cassidy]- wrongly accused
File:AllieErwin.jpg|Allie Erin
</gallery>
</center>
<br>
Quotes from the above:
* '''Tom Pyle:''' "The community at large views this as they watched and witnessed a sexual assault occurring, and did nothing but watch," said Chief Pyle. "But the flipside of that is that they may not have realized what they were witnessing."
* '''Allie Erin:''' already made up her mind that it was a rape, in spite of not actually being there, because feminism. "All that needed to happen was ask 'hey are you all right, is this what you want to be happening'?" Ignoring witness testimony that she begged him to continue and posed for photos happily after. Thinks that "she wasn't okay with it" after-the-fact makes it retroactively rape.

== Quotes from Ohioans ==

{{Quote|Madam Speaker, it started with the training bra and then it came to the push-up bra, the support bra, the Wonderbra, the super bra. There is even a smart bra. Now, if that is not enough to prop up your curiosity, there is now a new bra. It is called the holster bra, the gun bra. That is right, a brassiere to conceal a hidden handgun. Unbelievable. What is next? A maxi-girdle to conceal a Stinger missile? Beam me up! I advise all men in America against taking women to drive-in movies who may end up getting shot in a passionate embrace.| Jim Traficant on Bras in 2001}}


== Most Ghetto Cities In Ohio ==

After a 2017 study that considered crime rates, High School drop out percentages and average income the following are the 10 most ghetto cities in Ohio.

# East Cleveland 
# Cleveland 
# [[Youngstown]]
# Dayton 
# Lima 
# Whitehall 
# Canton 
# Springfield 
# Ashtabula 
# Warren 


== Keep Your Fucking Hands Off Of Our Water ==

Every year, around summertime and always in the grip of a major drought, States like California, Arizona and Texas start whining how they badly need water, while somehow unnecessary vices like their water parks are able to remain open and the first thing to always come out of their mouths is that the [[America|U.S. Army Corp of Engineers]] should figure out how to build a pipeline from Lake Erie to their State so they can water their lawns, make fake snow for skiing and fill their swimming pools they never use.<br>
These water hungry states argue that since the Great Lakes hold 25% of the world's fresh water that it belongs to everyone in [[America]] and not just the states surrounding them and [[Canada|The Socialist Republic Of Canada]].<br>
Rather than learn how to conserve a limited resource in their area, they'd rather drain the Great Lakes with arguments like, ''"The State of Ohio is so water rich, filled with lakes, rivers and aquafers, that it wouldn't  miss a few drops,"'' not realizing or pourposely remaining ignorant to the fact that many of the states surrounding the Great Lakes rely on them for industry and transportation and if some areas of these lakes were to go down as few as 2 feet, shipping would become near impossible.<br>
Seeing how states like [[California]] can't manage its own water resources properly and how rivers like the Colorado don't even reach the ocean anymore because it thinks, for being a desert state, it should be able to waste water on things like green lawns, pools and water parks - Ohio tells them, every year, to politely go [[fuck]] themselves and reminds them that States like California [[irony|ironically]] refuse to look into the desalination of ocean water because of the environmental impacts.<br>

== Population ==
[[Image:Cloud8745.jpg||thumb|right| [[Youtube_nobodies#Cloud8745|A major Ohioan city is on this man's chest.]]]]
Ohio is home to a [[lie|wide variety of interesting people]], from the college [[student]]s at [[College|Ohio State]] to the [[Old people|elderly]] at CGNU. At least 50% of OSU students are [[fag]]s, while the other 50% are Asians. The population is often bitter, due to their [[fail|inability]] to drive properly, their close proximity to [[Michigan]], and their all-around vacant space. Suprisingly, some are Furfags, others are Nintendofags

It is a common misconception that Ohio allows [[lulz]]; but like [[Boston]], Ohio hates lulz. Because they're all insecure about the fact they live in a crappy little state, if you ever try to fabricate, discuss, or terminate [[lulz]] you will be [[v&]] for attempting to have fun.

Some of Ohio's more famous residents:

* [[Sony-Mae|Anders, Akeshia]]
* [[Rifqa Bary|Bary, Rifqa]]
* [[Bloodydiaperman]]
* [[Burger King]] [[Foot Lettuce]] - We are not kidding this actually took place in an Ohioan Burger King.
* [[Youngstown|Carabbia, Ronald ("Ronny The King Crab")]] - [[Dago|Youngstown Mafia Enforcer]] who took out [[Cleveland|Danny Greene]] with a car bomb or a [[Youngstown|Youngstown Tune Up]]
* [[fat|Carey, Drew]]
* [[Dave Chappelle|Chappelle, David ("Dave")]]
* [[Jeffrey Dahmer|Dahmer, Jeffrey]] - who ate some other people from Ohio
* [[Harlan Ellison|Ellison, Harlan]] - wrote '[[Adventure Time|A boy and his Dog]]' (not a porno fuck face) 
* [[Bob Frantz|Frantz, Robert ("Bob")]]
* [[Cleveland|Fucktard/Moonrunes]] - an openly unpatriotic tokusatsu fan/weeaboo/[[K-pop]] and [[J-pop]] stan.
* [[Cleveland|Green, Danny]] - [[Catholic|Mick]], [[Irish]] bastard that [[pwned]] the [[retard|Italian Mafia]] and got taken out by a car bomb planted by a dago from [[Youngstown]].
* [[Scientology|Holmes, Katherine ("Katie")]] - says she's from Ohio even when the state refutes her claim.
* [[Mix Hyena|Hyena, Mix]]
* [[user:kazantzakis|Kazantzakis]]
* [[Monsters By State|Kruger, Frederick ("Freddy")]] - Nazi child molester who kills kids
* [[TJ Lane|Lane, TJ]]
* [[Whore|Lords, Traci]] - porn star that made men in the [[1980s]] pedophiles.
* [[cocaine|Manson, Marilyn]] - who dated the guy from NIN before people stopped caring about either of them
* [[OpRollRedRoll|Mays, Trent and Richmond, Ma'lik]]
* [[Alcohol|Newman, Paul]] - actor famous for starting the pre-internet [[meme]], ''"24 hours in a day.  24 cans of beer in a case.  Coincidence?"''
* [[Nine Inch Nails]] - A strange-ass band from Cleveland who makes the weirdest songs imaginable.
* [[Unfunny|O'Neil, Ed]] - unfunny guy from '''Married With Children''' that only became an actor because he wasn't good enough for the Cleveland Browns or the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers we can believe but the Browns?  
* [[Brian Peppers|Peppers, Brian]]
* [[Renetto]] - [[:Image:Renettoarrested.jpg|apparently]]
* [[Robert Seman|Seman, Robert]] - an Hero
* [[William Tecumseh Sherman|Sherman, William Tecumseh]]
* [[Spic|Sheen, Martin]] - actor best known for making the mistake that is [[Charlie Sheen]].
* [[Tourette's Guy]]
* [[Badass|Trafficant, James ("Jim")]] - US Representative that got the [[pwned|banhammer]], from the [[FBI]], because he got caught taking bribes.  Probably the most loved politician by the ED staff because he knew how to bring the [[lulz]], even mooning FBI head [[Dike|Janet Reno]] during a congressional hearing.
* [[twenty one pilots]] - laughable indie band from Columbus made known by [[Tumblr|Tumblrinas]]
* [[JD Vance|Vance, JD]] - Donald Trump's fuckbuddy for 2024
* [[Wayah]]
* [[Merle Whitefire|Whitefire, Merle]]
* [[Cyraxx|Wilkins, Chance]] - A next generation lolcow destined to succeed [[Chris-Chan]] and [[Drachenlord]]

== Gallery of Ohio ==
<br>
<center>
{{frame|<center><gallery perrow=4>
Image:Cuyahoga Burning.jpg|The Cuyahoga River, one of Ohio's natural wonders. No, there isn't anything on the river that's burning, the river <i>itself</i> is on fire.
Image:humpcorn.JPG|Just one of the dazzling [[dildo|works of art]] found in Ohio.
Image:Touchdown.jesus.jpg|God hates Ohio so much that he {{archive|azCMs|destroyed}} Touchdown Jeebus outside Dayton, formerly the only awesome thing in Ohio
Image:OHIO SUCKS.jpg|The [[handegg|football]] fantards state the obvious.
Image:Insanity-Wolf-I-ROOT-FOR-THE-CLEVELAND-BROWNS.jpg|Proof that fans of the [[shit|Cleveland Browns]] are batshit: [[Insanity Wolf]] roots for them.
File:America.jpg|This is why America hates Ohio. Ohio even hates Ohio.
File:Pekar.jpg|[[You]], Ohio style
File:DOG ABUSE MISDEMEANOR.jpg|As long as you're in Ohio, why not scald a dog?
</gallery></center>|border=#f14d59}}
</center>
{{clear}}

== See Also ==
*[[Cleveland]]
*[[Dalavesta]] - Taking it to the next level
*[[Jim Traficant]]
*[[Dennis Kucinich|Kucinich, Dennis]]
*[[TJ Lane|Lane III, Thomas Michael ("T.J.")]] - another Ohio school shooter
*[[Lara Kollab]]
*[[Michigan]] - Ohioans Hate everyone and everything from this state
*[[Robert Seman|Seman, Robert]] - pedo child killer that an heroed at Mahoning County Court.
*[[Stephen Sample]]
*[[Toledo]]
*[[Ohio State University|University, Ohio State]] - where another fucking mass stabbing/vehicle ramming attack happened
*[[Otto Warmbier|Warmbier, Otto]] - Ohio citizen that Obama let North Korea murder so Tronald Dump could have yet another excuse to impose bullshit "travel bans" and throw more of his people in prison for attempting to visit NK.
*[[Youngstown]]
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[[Category:Locations]]
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