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[[Image:McDojo_trademark.png|thumb|right|McDojo Offical Trademark!]]
'''''McDojos''''' (also known as '''McDojangs''' or '''Belt Factories''') are [[martial arts]] schools that actually teach [[shit]] techniques (if any) and only exist for the purpose of making [[Cash|money]]. Most common in the [[America|US and A]], McDojos are usually ridiculously expensive, and charge on a dedicated yearly contract to do [[hardcore]] intense workouts like [[Hollywood|breaking stones with your bare hands]] and the [[Trolling IRL|OMG flying dragon thunder sword axe kick of death!]]

McDojos force their students to pay [[In the ass|out their ass]] in order to [[Call of Duty|rank up]] in belt class. In which case, belt colors don't really represent one's actual skill in a martial art, but rather how much of a [[Retard|fucking retard]] they are for spending money on this shit. Getting a Black Belt will increase your [[dick]] size and give you bragging rights on forums. [[Fail|HAAYYAAH!]] Regardless how much shit one talks to another about being a black belt over the internets, they will still, and always be, pussies, because they don't have the balls to say it in person, but CAN however, get their asses handed to them IRL, by the [[The Casey|common sixth grader]]. (which, in retrospect, is completely LULZ-worthy).




==Training==

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99% of McDojo teachers are [[White man|white]] [[Fatass|lardasses]] who couldn't fight for shit <s>and give themselves stupid nicknames, the most common being [[Furry|Tiger]].</s> '''DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT MASTER TIGER OK? HE WILL FUCK YOUR ASS UP. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI'''! Before each $75 class, they have to get the fuck up off their ass after a White Castle combo meal and ranking up to G1 servers in [[Street Fighter|SFIV]]. McDojo teachers often throw a workout or two at the students such as keeping "Katas", retarded looking positions that don't help in self defense (or, fucking anything for that matter) and just waste time so that the teacher can hurry up and catch the final round of [[Team Fortress 2|CTF]] with his friends.


<center><big>'''EFG's best friend learned from a mcdojo'''</big></center><br>




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<youtube>UWrieC29hXM</youtube>
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[[Image:Farley.jpg|center|thumb|200px|<i>(Fig.1)</i> Typical McDojo Sensei]]

==Types of McDojos==

===Taekwondo===

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Taekwondo McDojangs are the most common of them all. McDojangs are usually plastered with stupid looking [[anime]] posters on the walls as well as [[spam|spamming]] the Korean flag everywhere, regardless of the fact that none of the instructors are [[Gooks]]. Typical Taekwondo training includes performing 40 minutes of retarded standing stances, and learning some stupid wrist-locking shit that is supposedly (according to the fat shit that takes the kids' money) able to [[Death|KILL]] a fucking opponent. Now THAT is some [[serious fucking business|serious shit]].

===Karate===
<!-- [[Image:McDojo Jedis.gif|thumb|right|155px|[[Star Wars]] fags are usually the most common students in Karate, next to [[Wapanese]] people.]] -->

Karate training is a held by a secret organization run by [[Japanese|Japanese people]] in order to trick kids into avenging the [[Shit|droppings]] of the [[PWNED|atomic bombs]]. Like McDojangs, Karate McDojos have the Japanese ([[Evil|Imperial]] Japanese, that is) flag plastered all over the fucking place to attract all the [[weeaboos]] who hang out at the Pokemon card store next door. Although none of those fat shits do anything active, they consider [[Fail|achieving]] their dream of being a [[ninja]], but quit after one day because being away from their computer monitor for more than 30 minutes will cause a [[RAGE|batshit insane panic attack.]] Plus their [[Sonic]] fanfics are more important anyway.

Like [[Scam|Taekwondo]] and [[gay|faggot parades]], Karate uses the colored belt system to differentiate between rich fucks who just want to smack pads in a gi and piss-poor morons who think they are actually learning something. To upgrade your belt rank, students must pay for a "belt test" (the equivalent to [[fuck|fucking]] and then [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|burning]] your wallet) so that [[pedophile]] instructor can eyeball your child doing retarded poses for 10 minutes. But at least you'll be the first kid at your lunch table with a [[Shit nobody cares about|GREEN BELT!!!]]

===Muay Thai===
[[Image:Japracist.jpg|thumb|left|150px|[[Thailand|Thais]] hate all other [[azn|azns.]]]]

A more rare McDojo breed, Muay Thai instructors are the most nationalistic fucks on the entire planet, moreso than [[Americans]]. Thais will deny any claim that local arts such as Lethwei or [[Cambodia|Pradal Serey]] originate before Thai boxing, the [[sick fuck|sick fucks.]] They gloat about how much better MT is than shit like [[China|Kung Fu]], even though they probably teach more McDojo [[shit]] than anyone else. Muay Thai techniques include [[Dancing on the Internet|dancing]] before the fight (you know, like real men) followed by 20 minutes of two half-naked guys grabbing each other, and is overall probably more gay than [[wrestling]].

==You might be enrolled in a McDojo if...==

*...your sensei is [[Fat|super-sized]] <i>(See Fig. 1)</i>
*...you get a free furby with every belt <s>purchased</s> earned
*...if you do better than the other [[children|students]], rather than promoting you to the next belt level, your McSensai gives you a stripe or two for your "Exceptional effort"
*...your dojo has produced [[Over 9000|billions and billions]] of black belt students
*...your "uniforms" are white pyjamas from a second-hand store
*...the instructor makes you swear only to use your "skills" as a last resort because whatever you learnt is useless in a fight
*...all the girls in your class advance unusually quickly to black belt
*...the TOTAL BADASS in your McDojo class is eleven years old and complains when you hit him too hard. "Stop it, you have no control!1!!"  
*...some of the girls are pregnant, or have kids that look like your Sensei
*...your 10th-dan grand master black belt sensei gets a ride from his mom to meetings
*...and gets picked up early because the end of the meetings are past his bedtime
*...and he still has his fifth grade homework to finish

== Martial Development vs. Bullshido.net ==

[[Bullshido.net]] is a forum where [[Anonymous|concerned members of society]] - ranging from [[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles|seasoned martial arts experts]], to your average Karate Kid fanboy - use [[Blackmail|"citizen journalism"]] to document the [[Scam|inner workings]] of McDojos everywhere.  This emergence has provoked [[Butthurt|reactions]] from many [[Nigeria|McDojo supporters]], one of whom (Chris H---, [[Aspie|Martial Development Blog]]) posted this article in response: 

[[TL;DR|http://www.martialdevelopment.com/blog/on-mcdojos-and-mob-justice/]]

In retaliation, Neal "Phrost" Fletcher, of Bullshido.net writes:
"I've been posting on the [[Internet]] since shortly after [[Al Gore]] created it, but until now I've never come across a collection of words that both overstates the fucking obvious, and at the same time, completely misunderstands the subject it references. This paradox has created a small wormhole in my brain and now I can't remember what my Grandmother looks like. Thanks a lot, asshole..."

Following are the highlights of the ensuing [[Flame War|discussion]] in bite-size McDrama nuggets.

MDB's comments:

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{{frame|{{morphquote|anti-bs|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;
|isn’t it ironic that targets are expected to defend themselves “as martial artists,” when their accusers are protected by [[Anonymous|anonymity]] AND a lawyer?|Chris H----|a quick look at these forums reveals that some of these [[anon]] martial arts world police are total [[Cosplay|LARPERs]] and drama queens just like their accused offenders.|ol' wrestler|I do not understand this article well. 

What is martial arts?|Josh young, taken out of context to make him sound like a complete fucktard|I don’t go around disrespecting people to prove my virtual dick is bigger than theirs.|ol' wrestler...doesn't have to compensate|none of you have the skills, knowledge nor the EQ to be taken seriously.|ol' wrestler, showing off his high EQ}}
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Bullshido's responses:

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{{frame|{{morphquote|pro-bs|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold;|the entire blog reads like it was penned by someone while stuffed in a locker by the members of the junior high wrestling team.|Neal "Phrost" Fletcher|Blah, blah, blah. The real question is: Can Frank Dux beat up Ashida Kim?|Rick Matz}}
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==Related Articles==

* [[Ashida Kim]]
* [[Bullshido.net]]
* [[Kung Fu]]

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