View source for Jesus With You Always

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[[File:Jesus_is_with_you_Larry_Van_Pelt.png|thumb|left|Jesus is with you...[[always]].]] 
[[File:Jesus helps you lay carpet.jpg|thumb|right|280px|no that's right...a Jesus to help you lay carpet...]]
'''[http://jesus-withyoualways.com/ Jesus-withyoualways.com]''' is an ancient, [[web 1.0]] site for Larry Van Pelt's own version of [[lol|Buddy Christ]].  Larry is a [[retired]], half-batshit [[fundie]] who heard the Lord's call and decided to make a [[Christ]] for every mundane activity of [[your]] day.  Whether you're [[HNNNNG|golfing]], going to the [[dentist]], or squeezing one out, Larry's got you covered...  

{{quote|I was awakened in the middle of the night with a clear, vivid impression that the [[JESUS|Lord]] wanted me to do some [[special]] drawings -- drawings depicting [[NORPS|ordinary people]] in their everyday environment . . . . with one important addition: the presence of Jesus Christ and [[trolling|His involvement in those routine activities]].|Larry Van Pelt|Larry hears the call}}
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==The lulz==

Larry's [[tracing|drawings]] made the rounds on [[SA]] almost 10 years ago, but the site's made a resurgence recently with some [[OC]] hitting the tubes here and there...

{{cg|He is always with you|gall|center|
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File:AssholeJesusRule34.jpg|[[Rule34|No exceptions]].
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<center>Make your own!</center>


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==Larry explains the "art"==

<center><youtube>OO1_S5fcLu0</youtube></center>

Larry lives in Niceville, Florida (which ironically enough, boasts the highest number of murders and [[rape|rapings]] per capita in the tri-county area). From the luxurious art studio in his [[lol|linen closet]], Larry delivers the true word of God to the brainless masses that actually think Larry's "artwork" is anything more than complete and utter [[shit]]. He states that he was told to draw by the [[Jesus|Lord]], and [[batshit|"when the Lord tells you to do something, well you better pursue it."]] Where most people would be committed in a mental institution for thinking that a 2000 year old invisible [[holocaust|dead jew]] is following them around everywhere and offering encouragement from things like INTENSELY juggling fucking bowling pins and lifting 20 pound weights, Larry has made a career out of it. And after all, [[Scientology|what's a religion if it's not profitable?]]

At 1:25, Larry begins showing off several instances of him being [[troll|trolled]] through various hate emails. In one email, Larry replaces all instances of the words fuck, damn, and hell with "cuss word" [[ALL CAPS|EVEN THOUGH ANYONE WITH EYES CAN CLEARLY READ THEM ON THE CUSS WORD PAPER]]. At 2:33 Larry begins to read an excerpt from an email and says "I am not a Christian myself--but I found your page very touching and very inspiring", completely skipping "and have felt some animosity toward some Christians for the past few years" so the email will better conform to his version of the truth. Larry believes that [[bullshit|he is doing the world a true service]]. Much like when a parent lets their [[autism|autistic]] child set the table at dinner, it really isn't hurting anyone if Larry indulges in his [[World of Warcraft|backwards fantasy world]] where he believes he's actually making a difference.

==External Links==

*'''[http://jesus-withyoualways.com/ Jesus-withyoualways.com]'''
*{{myspace|iamwithyoualways|lol Larry has a Myspace}} 

==See Also==
*[[Old people|When you're bored with life and just waiting for death]]

==External Links==
*{{kym|memes/jesus-is-a-jerk|KYM's article on this}}
*[http://jesus-withyoualways.com/ Larry's officail website]
*[http://jesusisajerk.tumblr.com/ A tumblr blog about this]
{{chanarchive|b/7677/asshole-jesus|Asshole Jesus}}


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[[Category:Galleries]]