View source for Equivamp

{{gotis}}
{{aspie}}

{{quote|(12:54)   malcolm: reminds me of [[laurelai]]

(12:54)   malcolm: except slightly less disgusting

(12:54)   malcolm: also transgender i'm guessing}}

[[File:Jeffmangum.jpg|thumb|right|[[Neutral Milk Hotel|Equivamp's dad]].]]

{{eduser|Equivamp}}
'''Equivamp''' (Powerword '''Kila Brija''' aka '''Kile Onasi''') is a [[Chris-Chan]] tier [[otherkin|therian]] [[furry]] [[lolcow]] in the sense that she spends her free time writing [[fanfiction]] of [[Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic]], uploading [[MSPaint]] drawings to [[DeviantArt]], [[yiff]]ing all the [[closet furry|closet furries]] on [[ED IRC]], and spending seemingly endless hours rollbacking template [[vandalism]] on [[WikiFur]]. All of this via using a web browser on [[Wii]].

Despite being a [[Furnigger|WikiFurry]], she has managed to become an EDitor in her thus short time with us at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]. She claims to be [[asexual]], despite posting DeviantArt rants about not putting out enough[http://equivamp.deviantart.com/journal/40573441/] to satisfy her "mate", whom <del>she maintains an online relationship with.</del>NOPE, She [[breaking up|dumped his ass]] for being a [[transexual]].

It is also a known fact that she suffers from a variety of mental disorders, including but not limited to ADD as well as [[Asperger's syndrome|the spergs]].  Oh, and did we mention? Her [[BFF]]'s a [[babyfur]], [http://babyfurs.deviantart.com/?offset=30#comments and she started the babyfur group on dA].

==Writings (Read at your own risk: Sue Alert Level: RED!)==
{{story|
AAT    
Revan's Return 2
by ~Equivamp

A young Jedi, coated in sweat despite how loose her plain beige robes were, came to a stop in her run, her last few steps heavy in her attempt to lose speed as soon as possible. She hid behind the tall, blue-green grass and pulled it apart like a curtain, peering forward. 
She carried herself almost fugitively, as if fearing detection, though, conversely, she had the confident air of one that had evaded death many times.
She was looking at a ship, her ship, a large personal fighter, the Ivory Hawk. It was roughly twice the size of the smuggler she'd used on the Quest for the Star Forge, though it was similarly shaped, and derived its name from it. The Ivory Hawk was barely hidden in the sea of grass surrounding it, but it was kept from view well enough.
All appeared clear to Senellast, though she wasn't naïve--she knew the peace could be a trap, so she proceeded with caution, and managed to make it to the ship safely.
Inside, she kept her hand on one of her lightsabers, keeping her ears and eyes open for a blaster…or worse.
The control room had a monitor, showing the contents of every room, hallway, and crevice on board--an upgrade she'd added herself. None revealed any danger, so she activated the controls, punching in the coordinates that would take her to her daughter. As the ship took off, she shuddered, and attempted to look into someone's--anyone's--eyes, which, of course, was not possible.
"I'll never get used to taking off alone," Sen bemoaned in her powerful voice. Everything about Senellast was powerful: her voice, her eyes, the way she carried herself, the way she walked. She was more than a bit intimidating to a man who felt less of one compared to a woman such as herself.
Not that she was looking for a man, of course. She wasn't even allowed to--well, that wasn't quite correct. According to the Council, she was allowed to have a lover, but wasn't allowed to get close to them.
"And that's what's fraked up about this whole thing," Sen said aloud. "You can spend a couple credits on some passerby, but you can't have what Carth and I--"
She broke off, having nearly said "have". She didn't feel as though she deserved to say she had anything with him anymore. For all she knew, he could have done what she'd told him to do when she left half a decade ago: moved on.
I wonder if he did…? Sen was filled with the urge to find out , had the need to know.
After all, she reasoned, if he doesn't feel the same--that there'll be no one else--I have a right to know who replaced me, to see if she cares as much for Carth as I do. And if she doesn't… Sen smiled grimly.
Having resisted acting upon such urges before, she'd never acted on them. But there was something about this feeling, these empowering, euphoric thoughts and memories, that set a fire in her belly. Something was going to come of this, she knew--something had already been set in motion.
As she felt the Ivory Hawk land beneath her, she could only guess at what it could be, and what sort of implications it would have on her and the ones she loved.
}}

==Quotes==
<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color:#ffffff; width: 700px; height: 210px;|font-weight: bold; |
<garrett> wow this is some of the dumbest shit i've read |
|Yeaaaah you have no idea what youre talking about and youre a stupid fuckstick. Blocked.| Being [[butthurt]] on [[Twitter]].
|I will kill you and eat your heart to gain your courage, your brain to gain your knowledge, and your genitals to gain your libido|Equivamp not being a [[sick fuck]]
|[[Uncyclopedia|This place]] is gay. If you need me, I'll be at [[ED]].|Equivamp on [[Uncyclopedia]]
|Please don't, if my mom sees that I'll never be allowed to edit ED again.|She doesn't like [[dongs]]
|I'd rather be weird than a conformist poser|Officially denying being a [[hipster]].
|but guess what I wear a tail and collar irl|
|killerhkhtofu: THAT IS STRANGE STOP<br>killerhkhtofu: you will be forever alone<br>killerhkhtofu: srsly|Too late. She already claims to be asexual.
|Although the fact that she edits both [[WikiFur]] and [[ED]] with impunity probably says more about the way WikiFur's run these days.|[[Xydexx]]
|<Equivamp> Meepsheep: I always promised lap dances for 30k. They payed me, and I ran off.|[[Basement Dwellers|Adult men]] [[Dying Alone|payed Equivamp for lap dances]].
|My sexuality doesn't matter, nor does labeling it.|She can't make up her mind.
|Is it too soon? Can I make a joke about [[WTC|9/11]] yet?|She couldn't even make a joke about WTC funny.|}}
|border=#ffffff|background=#ffffff}}
</center>

==Zach Braff==
[[File:Zach braff UGLy.jpg|thumb|right|She actually wants to fuck ''this thing.'']]
{{quote|if you want to fap to Zach Braff,that's all well and good. But we are not going to help.|[[User:Oddguy|Oddguy]] has the right idea.}}
All fangirls have their heroes, and Equivamp is of no exception. Who is this knight in shining armor, you might ask? Why, it is none other than an infamous unfunny Jewish cunt, [[Zach Braff]]. [https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.rs/threads/am-i-the-only-one-who-seriously-misses-scrubs.7357/ After disturbing everyone on EDF2 with her disgusting rampage about how she loved Scrubs], it became apparent that she was more than someone who simply liked a TV show. She wants to have sex with him, and spends what seems to be hours gathering images of him and posting them on the internet. [[:File:OlivialoyZachbraff01.png|She even stalks him through his unfunny tweets and seems to think of him as being a pwning god]]. If there's one thing for sure, though, it is that ''Scrubs'' has been cancelled for good <s>and maybe she will end-up being a productive member of society instead of just some faggot who faps to ugly Jews</s> '''TOO LATE, SHE ALREADY EDITS ON WIKIFUR'''

==Trolling Equivamp==
[[File:Equivamp's faves.jpg|thumb|right|Equivamp is asexual. That is why this was found in her dA favorites along with other pawfur art.]]
{{quote|FURFAGS goddamn FURFAGS! What do you have against me? Against the furry fandom?}}


Equivamp, although claiming to be a [[Oxymoron|furry troll]] herself, has been trolled on several occasions. If done right, she will, being that she can't handle the idea of being [[Successful troll|successfully trolled]], accuse you of being a creep or just say that you are not successful. What follows if you keep pushing her will be an epic shitstorm of lulz spewing from her angry keyboard.
*Point out how one can't be a [[Oxymoron|Christain Deist]].
*Mention how all furfags should [[Truth|burn slowly]].
*[[Harassment]]
*Bring up how Star Wars fanfics along with furry ones prove to be the ultimate sign of [[dying alone]].
*Bring up how one can't be [[asexual]] and still refer to men as being "sexy".

==Furry [[Forever Alone|pariah]]==
===Xydexx===
{{quote|There's a big difference between 20000 and 3000|The comment that started it all.}}
In June of [[2011]], old [[Xydexx]] decided his life was too boring now that [[Kindrift]] lost his internet and couldn't play with him any more, so he went back to [[WikiFur]] to stir up [[drama]] with [[GreenReaper]] like the [[attention whore]] he is. He started with the [[Inflation]] related articles, of course, because it was [[relevant to my interests|relevant to]] his [[Balloon Fetish|interests]].

[[I came|Much to his delight]], he found a furry that had yet to deal with his fuck-nuttery: our dear Equivamp.

Despite supporting Xydexx's initial argument, Equivamp dared to point out that one number is bigger than the other, so Xydexx unleashed the fucking fury in an attempt to seem [[intellectual]] and save face. Tempers flared, and names were called. If it wasn't an [[edit war]], one might mistake it for so many a [[yiff]]y fapfic. It was during this time that it came out that Equivamp was, in fact, an [[EDiot]], something then-unknown to her furry comarades. [[Shit bricks|Bricks were shat]].

During this time, [[GreenReaper]] did nothing to stop the two. One theory is that he was watching the [[lulz]] ensue, but [[some argue]] GreenReaper has no sense of humor and was too busy [[fap]]ping to Norn cock that he didn't notice. Eventually, however, he decided to take action--by moving the conversation to Xydexx's talk page, and [[white knight|getting involved in it]].

After the discussion was moved, Equivamp [[pussy|apologized]]. She happened to stumble across Xydexx's article, however, and decided to note on the fact that he was not well-liked at WikiFur.
Big fucking mistake, Xydexx obsessively watches that article. Moar WikiFur talk page drama, moar GreenReaper white knighting. [[Blog]]s, [[LiveJournal]]s, and [[Twitter]]s were used to insult each other. Refusing to believe he was harrassing a [[teenager]], Xydexx used all his powers of [[Google-Fu]] to find somewhere that Equivamp's age was not listed as 15. Soon he struck gold: her [[YouTube]] account listed her as 34. Of course, he'd already written a blog entry about her age far before he found it, so <del>it doesn't matter</del>HE MUST BE PSYCHIC.

According to Xydexx, she's also a [[Burned Fur]], despite one of her [[FurAffinity]] journals talking about her drawing [[Animal Crossing]] [[porn]], a big no-no in the Burned Fur community.

After making countless butthurt edits to his article, Equivamp lost interest and moved on to more constructive edits to the wiki. But everyone knows Xydexx never forgets, and he even made a "game" inspired by Equivamp: [[wat|Equiburp]]. ([http://www.angelfire.com/weird2/xydexx/mount-kindrift-3.htm link])

Xydexx copy-pastes his rants all over the interwebs, and uses an anonymous email service to tell her about it, spamming her inbox with [[over 9000]] messages. [[gg]], Xydexx.

===GreenReaper===
{{quote|[...] you really need to make a choice - do you want to be known as a person who fairly and accurately reports on the fandom and those within in'''[sic]''', or one who publicly documents the weakness and failings of fellow fans for your own amusement?|[[WikiFur|WIKIFUR]] IS [[Serious Business|SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.]]}}

A love story turned sour. When Equivamp initially signed up for [[WikiFur]], known [[pedophile]] [[GreenReaper]] shit his pants with glee at the new furry [[jailbait]] at his beck and call that ate up anything he said and sucked his cock more times than any other. However, during the Xydexx melodrama, he decided he didn't like the fact that Equivamp edits ED. His view of her soon turned sour, and he now spends his time making passive-aggressive comments to her. Deeply upset that her furry god has shunned her, there has been a recent and dramatic decline in her edits to [[WikiFur]], while her edits to [[Encyclopædia Dramatica|far superior wiki]] increased. She also provided his [[I.P.]] address, allowing [[dox|certain information]] to be dropped on him. Too bad he moved to [[Texas]] to work at [[Battletoads|GameStop]].

==So how's your sex life Equi?==
Born 26 January 1996, when she started editing ED in [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?diff=149089 14 May 2011] she was 15 years 3 months old.
Being an underage furfag on the inernet, there were obviously mounds of horny older males looking to "mate" with Equi. A glance at some of the fine bachelors that lined up for her 7 years ago:
*[http://en.wikifur.com/w/index.php?diff=325543 2 May 2011] she made a profile for Raliegh "Reyju" Reynolds, affirming awareness he was born 14 July 1994, making him 16 years 9 months old at the time.
*[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?diff=227455 15 August 2011] (then 5.5 months short of being a [[16-year-old-girl]]) she initiated contact with then-25-year-old [[Tyciol]] who reciprocated contact and almost got [[b&]] from ED by [[Junius]] on [[User_talk:T/2011#Equivamp|August 28]] for it. Waiting until [https://www.flayrah.com/7052/alt-furry-suffers-blowback-after-alt-right-rally-leads-death-citizen 2017] when Equivamp was 21 years old, the decade-crossed admirer responded to her interest in the [[alt-right]] and prompted her to score [https://twitter.com/Equivamp/status/1030214438996127744 double dubs] while expressing her annoyance.
*[[User:Beefcake|Beefcake]] - <&Beefcake> I'll pop your cherry for you Equivamp! (date/diff/source needed)

==#ed's take on it==
October 2011 conversation:
{{story|
<pre>
00:03 < Thayo> no equi has described herself as asexual
00:03 -!- Cunt_Destroyer [~hellofren@wtfux-6789061D.socal.res.rr.com] has quit [client exited: Leaving]
00:03 < Thayo> but that itself is debtable
00:03 -!- Lucky [~Lucky@wtfux-F566392D.dhcp.jcsn.tn.charter.com] has quit [client exited: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 7.0.1/20110928134238]]
00:03 <&Mew> wait
00:03 < ty> I think it's fine as long as it's not defined to be absolute.
00:03 <&Mew> how can you have a furry asexual
00:03 <&Mew> i mean really
00:03 < ty> You can have non-sexual interests in furry art.
00:03 <&Meepsheep> ty, may i ask: do you love her?
00:04 <&Meepsheep> like
00:04 <&Meepsheep> want to hold her
00:04 < ty> WHAT IS LOVE
00:04 < NegiSpringfield> ty: shut the fuck up
00:04 <&Meepsheep> and let your hands flow through her hair
00:04 < NegiSpringfield> don't 
00:04 < NegiSpringfield> say
00:04 < ty> I want to hold a lot of people including you meep :)
00:04 < armucat> extreme voyrism
00:04 < Thayo> equi obv does show sexuality
00:04 <&Meepsheep> :/
00:04 < zed> what do you look at when you masturbate?
00:04 < armucat> that's one way
00:04 < Thayo> she just doesn't show it too much
00:04 < Thayo> well not on the internet
00:04 < ty> well obv. thayo you can just look at the sexual characteristics in the zebra fursona
00:04 <&Meepsheep> Thayo, she talks about masturnation quite often
00:04 < ty> asexuality claims are somewhat of a defense mechanism I think
00:04 <&Mew> ok, did not need that image
00:04 <&Meepsheep> *masturbation
00:04 < ty> sort of like the victorian ideal where women pretend they lack it to avoid being perceived as harlots
00:04 < zed> autism 
</pre>
}}

==Equivamp's timeless period piece==
[[File:Equivamps strange vagina.png|right|thumb| Aw, dude, [[gross]].]]

It turns out that Equivamp is not only an [[Asspie]] [[Asexual]] [[Furry]], but also appears to have some system malfunctions in her [[vagina|love-cave-betwixt-the-thighs]]. She [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2857023/ made a journal entry on furafinity.net] describing, in all it's [[horror|horrifying]] glory, the unusual patterns concerning her [[period|bleedy cunt]], claiming that it happens too often and is starting to worry her... consequently [[lulz|amusing]] everyone else.

The cause of this [[Bible|biblical]] blood flow is currently unknown, but [[some argue| many hypothesize]] that it was from shoving too many a plastic [[Lion King|Simba]] figurines into her [[Dick|poon]], so as to gain some feeble form of [[orgasm|sexual gratification]], therefore causing a irreversible damage to her [[cock|vagoo]] and instigating the [[asexual|strange sexual state]] she currently finds herself in. 

{{quote|What is it with women and bitching about their fucking period in public?| [[Faggot|'''CinoxFellpyre''']] Slowly understanding the symptoms of [[GOTIS]]}}

==Galleries==
===Edits===

<center><gallery>
File:EquivampDerp.jpg|Equivamp is known for her rare brand of [[unfunny]].
File:EquivampRB.jpg|She is also known for her rollback trigger-finger
File:Writingherselfintoanarticle.PNG|See also: [[Writing yourself into an article]]
</gallery></center>

===Humans===

{{cg||EQUIVAPHUMZ|center|<gallery perrow=5>
File:Equivamp.jpg|[[Trap|"She" looks masculine]]. [[No|Would you seriously think it was a girl the first time you saw this image?]]
File:Equivamp facebook photo.jpg|<s>[[Bullshit|<Equivamp> I don't even have freckles anymore]]</s> Old [[facebook]] pic, lack of freckles can be seen to the left
File:Equivamp Newest photo.jpg|Less acne and less hair. Looks just like any other [[Oxymoron|female furnigger]] out there.
File:Equivamp pink.jpg|[[Ghey]]
File:Equivamp_Kyoot_Stuffs.jpg| This is what editing on furnigger wikis does to you.
</gallery>}}

===Alligator-dragon===

{{cg||EQUIVALLIDRAGON|center|<gallery perrow =3>
File:ButterflyEquivamp.jpg
File:EquivampDirty.png
File:EquivampFyuck.jpg|Why does it have chest tumors?
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:EquivampShirtSona.jpg
File:EquivampTanoSano.jpg|''Put it out of it's misery...''
File:Sowwy.png| ''So...much...autism...''
File:Sparkledragon.jpg|[http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/File:Scalesona.jpg "Hands down, this is one of the better peices I've done recently."] ..right
</gallery>}}

===Pegasus-zebra===

{{cg||EQUIVAPEGZEB|center|<gallery>
File:460px-EquivampbySwiftpaw.jpg|[[Fact]]: [[Depressing|GreenReaper]] faps to this.
File:EquivampAnthroZebra.jpg
File:EquivampBi.jpg
File:EquivampBranden.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:EquivampDate.jpg
File:EquivampFlight.jpg
File:EquivampRaverMe.jpg
File:EquivampSona.jpg
File:EquivampTeh.jpg
File:EquivampZebra.png
File:EquivampZebraDots.jpg
File:EquivampZebraFriend.jpg
File:EquivampZebraFursonaSqueezeBabyfurVixieVixen.jpg
File:EquivampFriend.jpg
</gallery>}}

===Miscellaneous "Art"===

{{cg||EQUIVAMPMISC|center|<gallery>
File:Kira equivamp.jpg|If you fap to this, you deserve to be executed. But you most likely won't, considering the fact that it is a [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|transgender tiger]] drawn by an ASSpie with no talent.
File:Equivamp fennec fox.jpg|Even stupid animals like foxes are smart enough not to drink toxic shit like Monster.
File:Equivamp-pokefaggotry.jpg|She's also a [[pokefag|pokenigger]].
File:D'aww EV.jpg|This makes me want to murder someone.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Vivian fox-rabbit.jpg|A shitty drawing of a rabbit she did for some other [[furnigger]] that goes by the username of [[Powerword|Vivianfox]].
File:Faolan EV.jpg|Moar raccoon shit. 
File:Alectrosauraus Equivamp.jpg|I don't even know what the fuck this thing is, nor do I give a shit to.
</gallery>}}

==See also==
* [[Furnigger]]
* [[Chris Chan]]
* [[Zach Braff]] - The only thing uglier than Equivamp.
* [[Dyke]] - [http://equivamp.deviantart.com/favourites/?offset=336 See for yourself.]
* [[Trap]]
* [[Otherkin]]
* [[Assburgers]]
* [[GreenReaper]]
* [[Wikifur]]

==External links==
*{{dauser|Equivamp|deviantART}} - Equivamp claims to be an [[NORP|anti-zoo]], [[Hypocrisy|but has furry pr0n in her favorites.]]
*{{furaffinity|Equivamp|FurAffinity}}
*{{Twitter|Equivamp|Twitter}}
*{{Wikifur|Equivamp|Wikifur}}
*{{wpul|Equivamp}}
*{{yt|u|Equivampthefurry|YouTube: "EquivampTheFurry"}}
*[http://imgur.com/a/4u72J Dramapack]
*[http://formspring.me/Equivamp FormSpring]

{{furfaggotry}}
{{whores}}
{{wikipedia}}
{{otherkin}}
{{aspies}}
{{Dying Alone}}
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