View source for Dollfie

[[Image:please-tell-me-you-see-them-to.jpg|thumb|pleese tell me you see dem too...]]

'''Dollfie''' is the catch all term for resin, ball-jointed dolls (known as '''B'''ishie '''J'''apanese '''D'''ildos to the [[elite]]). The actual toy beast of this name is made by Volks, a company which specializes in draining the money from [[Otaku]]: male, female, and [[shemale]].  They started out as plastic, [[Barbie]] doll sized toys and then when they arrived here from [[California|Planet Krypton]], the yellow sun caused them to become '''Super Dollfies''', monstrous menaces that range from 14 inches tall to [[fuck]]ing huge.  Currently, only resin (*coughstillplasticcough*) dolls are considered to be real BJDs, and any dolls made from plastic and not held together by strings are [[crap|not good enough]].

Dollfies are considered the supreme ball-jointed dolls by those who collect such cash sinks due to being hand molded by [[virgin]] Japanese craftsmen and vampires. As everyone knows, anything the Japanese make is like, 500 times better than the American equivalent.  It is also [[at least 100]] times better than the Korean equivalent, though having a Korean doll is still considered all right, as it is far enough away to be considered exotic...and most people really can't tell where the fuck the dolls came from anyway. 

[[Image:UnoaOface.jpg|right|thumb|Special option 'O' face]] The prices on the dolls range from US $20 to $150 for the plastic dolls which do not matter to the 'true fans' and $250 to [[Over 9000|'''$13,000''']] for the resin [[DESU|super awesome kawaii]] models which anyone who is anyone must have.  Collectors will then go on to amass a wardrobe for their dolls consisting of imported [[J-Rock]], [[Lolita]], [[bondage]] and Fruits (picture the bad fashion trends of the 80s, worn all at once) fashion.  Each article of clothing will cost at least as much as a name-brand version of the human equivalent.  Then there's dozens of other accessories that their dolls demand their owners buy for them.  Yes.  They really put it like that too.

== Dollfie Collectors ==

You know how some [[weeaboos]] will try to dick-measure with each other over who the biggest [[otaku]] is?  'I only watch SUBTITLED anime!' 'Oh yeah?  Well I only read UNTRANSLATED manga!' 'Fuck you guys, I import all my clothes and groceries from Japan! DESU!' The Dollfie collector is the one the Hello-Kitty-Vibrator using, bento box making, anime cel collecting, Japanese language and culture grad student with the Japanese girlfriend/boyfriend looks at funny.

<center>{{fv|Collector videos|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>0LM0oyLFAOY</youtube>
|<youtube>F8eu979zP2E</youtube>
}}</center>

== [[Bjork]] Molests Ball Jointed Dolls ==

<center><youtube>LaNbsFRxslk</youtube></center><br><br>
This was the [[Fat Larry's Band|The Sugarcubes']] last ''Hit'', a breakthrough on [[MTV]] in 1992, with annoying backing spoken-word vocals like that [[fag]] from the B-52's used to do.  Don't remember either band?  Congratulations, kiddies.  Ask your broke, unmarried, [[bipolar]] uncle, and make sure you watch his hands at all times when they are not opening beers, pill bottles, or liquor bottles.  When he asks you if you want to see his guns or knives, do what [[bitch|Nancy Reagan]] would do, and [[drugs|just say no]].

== Fun Dollfie Facts ==
[[Image:Unoapron2.jpg|thumb|right|Female BJD snickers at erect pencil dick]]

*Dolls are anatomically correct.  Some dolls even come with articulated penises for 'high noon' and 'just spooged' posing.
*200% of Dollfie collectors will take [[at least 100|at least thirty]] pictures of their prized possession within the first hour of ownership, with 80% of pictures looking exactly the same.
*110% of male Dollfies are [[bisexual]]; they are [[gay]] for other dolls and straight only for their owners.
*95% of Dollfie collectors are [[batshit]] insane and believe that their dolls have [[Otherkin|souls and personalities]] of their own. ((Note: if [[you]] paid as much for a doll as these people, you'd demand it have a soul just so you could [[rape]] it and get your moneys worth))
*90% of owners believe that their dolls talk to them.  Amazingly, only 20% of these tell them to kill or burn things.
*85% of doll owners use [[canon]] cameras to take pictures of their dolls because [[amidoinitrite|the popular dollgods do]].
*80% of male Dollfies are dressed in dresses instead of male clothing, due to the demand for [[buttsex|bottoms]] in doll yaoi and [[not4chan|shota]].
*10% of Dollfie owners wish to marry their doll or consider cheating on their spouse with one.
*Half of the Dollfie population have [[Japan]]ese names.  The other half have Elvish names.
*Any time two Dollfie owners are in the same room together, their dolls will be photographed having a [[ugly|hot]], resin-covered [[rape|sexual encounter]] with each other. The owners will only communicate to yell at each other for touching their precious failchild with their sticky fingers.
*Whenever a new limited edition doll is released, collectors will automatically sell their older dolls and [[pocky|other worldly possessions]] so that they may buy it.  This is so that they can remain a [[fat|bigger]] [[wapanese|fan]] than the other collectors.
*Nearly all of these doll collectors either mooch off their parents or spouse/"soulmate". All doll collectors would whore themselves out in exchange for dolls if they weren't so hideous.

== Types of Dollfies ==
[[Image:Unoapron3.jpg|thumb|right|Male BJD [[BAWW]]s and turns to [[yaoi]]]] BJDs come in many shapes and sizes, all the better for [[raep]]!.  The smallest are Rei-Tenshi, which look more like an aborted fetus than a doll.  Multiple other kinds of dolls fall into the 'toddler' age range for your [[toddlercon|maid training]] pleasure or for the stop motion [[hentai]] one is planning of the raping of an entire kindergarten class.  Next up is the Minis; they are made to represent elementary school children.  They are always the subjects of doll shota and the much rarer doll [[loli]]. The start of this accursed trend are styled after 10 year olds and are no longer popular with the collectors unless some limited edition one is made.  This is because 10 years old is neither young or old enough to cover most [[shota|unhealthy]] [[rape|sexual]] [[less than three|fantasies]].

You can start differentiating the sexes by something other than what kind of bits they have molded between their legs by the SD 13 or so dolls.  SD 13s are the most popular of this creepy lot.  This is due to the heavy amount of [[bishounen]] dolls in this line, fueling the doll [[yaoi]] picture trade.  The female dolls are favored by [[goth]], [[EGL|lolita]], and [[wapanese]] girls wishing to pretend they have perfect bodies.  For some reason, skipping 14 and 15, we go straight to SD 16s.  Their popularity is hampered by their limited production status, exorbitant cost, and the fact that they represent a legal age in Japan, some states, and [[Canada]].  SD 17, or 'almost legal' is the brand new line of dolls and a desperate attempt to appeal to 'normal' western doll collectors who [[fap]] to 17 year olds for their dose of [[DeviantArt|deviancy]].  They have MOAR JOINTS than SD16s so they can bend over to suck their fellow dolls' flaccid genitals better than previously possible.

Of course, if you want dolls that have genitals that have the option of flaccid or stiffy, depending on your mood, as well as soft nipples, and a special 'O' face mold, U-noa may be the doll for you.  Created by a [[hentai]] artist, Unoa are some of the hardest (lol pun) dolls to get your hands on, sold only by lottery.  Beware though, because even articulated erect doll peen is still pretty small.  I guess that's one thing the Japanese have that isn't 500x better than the western version!

By the way, pictures shown at right aren't from some perverted fantard.  They're official promotional photos from the maker.

== [http://www.denofangels.com/forums/ Den of Angels] ==
[[Image:Unoapron1.jpg|thumb|right|Female BJDs have a much hotter time without him]] The main hub of English speaking Dollfie collecting is [http://www.denofangels.com Den of Angels], which is ran by a [[furry]], [[cosplay|cosplaying]], [[cunt|professional animator]] named [[Aimee]].  This is the main hub of overpriced doll angst, woe and smut, run as stated by a [[furry]].  This isn't so much a factor as the fact that every person on the website [[at least 100|is at least 50 percent]] [[Otherkin]].  In the worst way.  If you wish to be anyone within the [[nerd|Dollfie collecting]] [[fandom|community]], this is the place to [[whore]]. 

Typical topics on the now membership posting-locked forum include '[http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1968 Does [[J-Pop]] upset your dollfie?]' and '[http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=74695 What's the most human thing your doll's ever done?]'   There is an entire contingent of posts devoted to 'letting your dolls speak', in a strange otherworldly form of [[LARP]]ing, the 'dolls' (but definitely not the owners) speak on the interweb, complimenting each other's skills and setting up meets so that the dolls (and possibly not the owners) can have [[buttsex]]. This livening of the sex life is considered essential to the doll's spiritual health, because the forum members believe every doll has a "soul," which is usually an aristocratic gay demon angel rapist donkey full of sorrow about lost love and the forced abandonment of their beloved ass-child. Sometimes it's worse.

[[Aimee]], queen [[otaku]] graciously runs the forum from the page of her very own Dollfie [[Camwhore]] website.  Aimee decides who shall stay and who shall go, rather like Lord of the Flies, only with a lot more stupid and [[pocky]].  There are other, [[Lame|less important]] moderators but it is Aimee's site, gosh darnit!  Be sure you are always [[Kawaii|happy]], cheerful, and totally not mean at all, or the full rage of the [[Wapanese]] Dollfie community will turn on you, in a fit of [[B&|Serious Business]]. The harshest sign of this [[MONGO|heavy handed]] moderation is the fact that despite efforts to come [[vandal]]ize this article, there's not a single post about it on DoA.  That's cause they've all gotten the [[banhammer]].

Being mean may or may not include the following:
*Making fun of [[Aimee]].
*Making fun of the companies that make the dolls
*Making fun of your own doll.
*[[zomg]] [[icon theft|pic theft]]
*Ragging on other [[Otakukin|members]] of the [[nerd|community]].
*Overuse of the barfing cat smiley.


Deep, meaningful discussions may be held at the Den of Angels, including:
*How buying dollies will [http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=258643 destroy the world]
*[http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=200915 The TRUE cause of global warming]- you guessed it, DOLLS.
*Forming factions, its [http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=200915 CHINA VS JAPAN] atm, Korea seems to be sitting this one out.
*Apparently combining doll parts from different companies may be considered [http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=257022 unethical], dolly owners that do so should be jailed most likely for exhibiting frankenstein-ish tendencies.
*[http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=252231 Dollfie Religion]

== [http://denofdemons.org Den of Demons] ==
[[Image:Bg-zafkielmikael.jpg|thumb|right|[[Photoshop]] + [[:Category:Music|shit bands]] + [[LJ]] = [[serious business]]]]The main [[drama]] central for [[dildos|Dollfies]] and similar dolls is [http://denofdemons.org Den of Demons] which in contrast is run by [[fag|Mwrells]] [[lie|who doesn't even like dolls]], but that's never stopped him from using them to lure his ex into his bed for rabid ass to mouth.  Den of Demons was created by [[User:Nullcherri|Nullcherri]] to [[PMS|release suppressed horror]] over the dollfie [[wapanese]] [[cunts]]. This forum has the barest minimum of moderation, allowing [[whore|users]] to discuss [[retarded|controversial]] doll subjects. A day after its creation Nullcherri's account on Den of Angels, "Sour", was struck with the [[ban hammer]]. 

Forum membership is composed almost entirely of forever [[PMS]]-ing [[women]] perpetually on their [[period]], how they can still live with so much crotch bleed is unknown. Of these woman, 1/3 of them are considered [[weeaboo|PMS Overlords]], and they mean [[serious business|serious shit]] when they're "[[fail|LOLZ]]"ing at other peoples dolls. 1/3 are made of even more [[fail]], trying to give the supreme [[weeaboo|PMS Overlords]] [[otaku|bitches]] something to "[[fail|LOLZ]]" at in hopes of being accepted, but will always be bitched at by the PMS Overlords in a [[newfag|fail attempt to sound like Anon]]. The rest is composed of those that simply agree with everything the [[wapanese|PMS overlords]] say, usually by quoting them and following it up with the word "this" and how amazing the person is and now badly they wish to have sex with them. All [[Otakukin|members]] also tend to be prudes for [[PMS|some]] reason despite all the doll [[raep]], and often don't understand when a topic actually is [[lulz |hilarious]]. 

There was [[internet drama|drama]] from the beginning with the Den of Angels members crying photo theft, and demanding their pictures be taken down from the '[[hate]] [[forum]]'. Like wussies, DOD gave in and now all wank that refers to Den of Angels has to link back to Den of Angels, making it a requirement to join DOA to participate in most of DOD. As a result, DOD can only exist as a bitchy parasite to DOA because without them, DOD would have nothing to talk about.  

Because the forum was founded with the lofty ideals of making fun of obvious [[stupid]] in the community, the members always [[Internet tough guy|try too hard]], hoping to sound like [[Anon]]. The only topic responses seen are a quote of whoever replied first stating the word "this" after or a quote the first [[weeaboo|PMS Overlord]] to post in the thread stating the word "this" after ([[newfag|OMG "THIS" SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING ANON WOULD SAY AMIRITE???!!!11]]).  They're not funny, in fact, most of them will try to edit this article and rather than blanking it, they'll just add [[fail]] and unfunny.  

'''Criticisms''':
*It's still pink
*It's still about dolls
*It's just as bad as Den of Angels
*[[Fail]]

== Distinguished Members of the Fandom ==
[[Image:Libertine01b.jpg|thumb|right|Confirmed [[fat|eatbeast]] blastmilk and her [[otakukin|astral plane lover]] break a camera.]]
*[[Aimee]] - Ruler of Den of Angels, Queen of the [[weeaboos]]
*[[Cassiel]] - Former mod who left DoA in a snit sometime in 2007, taking a few of the other mods with her to form a new forum called Resinality, which no one visits. 
*[[StephG]] - Adds '''real''' pubic hair to dolls and makes picture [[fanfic]] of [[pedo]] action.
*[[KimP]] - Impossibly bad customizer.  See the section at the bottom?  She [[pwns]] them all for pure [[fail]].
*[[Kazakai]] - Scammer, wannabe [[shemale]], painted one of her dolls with her 'moon blood'.  
*'''Mwrells''' - Donations pay his bills. 
*'''Trisha''' - Hot shit that smells like roses. Faggots know what she wants. 
*'''hiritai''' - OMGBESTPHOTOGRAPHER EVER!1!!1! In addition to her [http://hiritai.deviantart.com overrated photography], she also does overrated [[fanfiction|fics]], writing about her doll that has a hueg dick with 13 piercings, or some shit. Loserfag who fucks kangaroos in Melbourne, [[Australia]].
*'''Guide''' -   '''LOOK AT ME GAIZ IMMA TRANNY BUT HAAAY AT LEAST I DON'T RUB IT IN UR FACE.''' Also, spams [[hamster]].
*'''Hatten''' - Wants to bone [[Gerard_Way| the biggest fag ever]] see also [[AIDS]] 
*'''MiaisBrillian''' - This [[attention_whore|attention whore]] gives white trash a bad name.  Srsly.  Openly pays more attention to her dolls than her children, which may be why they were taken away.  ([http://www.myspace.com/darling_little_killer Myspace])
*'''sleep_pattern and Hawthorne Heights ''' - Spends most waking hours upgrading their e-peens and then [[Fellatio|sucking off each other]]. Quite possibly the same person.
*'''Renzi''' - Goes to [[art school]] GAIZ.
*'''Chibaraki''' - Has a gaping maw between her stubby legs with enough room for the Human Centipede. Or a clan of cave trolls. Everything's got to be about her. Massive hypocrite who spends her days making fun of people on Den of Angels while also participating on that forum in order to obtain precious monies through sales threads.
*'''PancakeGenocide''' - OMG GUESS WHAT MY DAD BOUGHT ME? EVERYONE USES HIS PROGRAAAAAAAAM.
*'''Bojangles''' - Money whore. Will suck off your unoa erection piece for $50. 
*'''Dora''' - Chief supplier of porn featuring the goddamn Batman.
*'''LexehAnn'''- Underage cunt who likes to spread her wapanese high school dramu and ugly dildos. Cycles through dolls as soon as they aren't getting her enough attention.
*'''International Velvet''' - AKA Jessa. Wants to run away to Ireland, where she thinks honey flows and people will actually like her. Created another name when she acted like a fag to try and fit in and had conversations with herself on the board. Also likes to suck Hatten's and other long time members' cocks so she can be loved. See [[Attention Whore]]. 
*'''Muunu''' - Jamaican bitch who did nothing but whine about how she needed money while she watched movies on her plasma tv, then ditched and ran when she owed someone money. "CONSUELA GIVE ME MONEY FOR A BERMANN!" 
*'''Rosslyn''' - Ren Fair obsessed freak. Has mutant dolls that her minions support and call "[[ugly|beautiful]]." Thinks she will make a living selling her commissioned illustrations, seen [http://Sharsarannon.deviantart.com/art/Control-25361743 here].
*'''Most Everyone Else''' - See [[weeaboo]]

=== The Council of 13 ===
There is an exclusive secret [[cunt]] club called the Council of 13 in the "The Hidden" section of the Den of Demons forums. This is comprised of the admin and a select few other members, and serves as a place for them to bitch about their boring lives as well as other members that they do not like.

==Gallery==
{{cg||pix|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Haruhi sex doll.gif
File:Little sex doll.gif
File:Hentai doll.jpg
Image:UglyBJDs.jpg|Dat blue eye shadow...
Image:Pre-rape-meeting.JPG|A group of dildos preparing for hot sex with their mistresses at a convention.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:BJDCgothicLol3.jpg|Americans once again proving that they are [[doing it wrong]]
Image:Zipper the doll 3892 by demona pink.jpg|[[fail]]
Image:Wan06.jpg|this one has a flat pierced purple headed cock coming out of its mouth! [[lies|Nice mod]]!
Image:DollfieLips.jpg|an example of a [[retard|blind face-up commissioners work]].
Image:Dollfie-Draven8.jpg|TTLY [[gothic|GOTHIC]]
Image:Iron Angel yukio002 small.jpg|FUG
Image:Tier in Mir Nesha Doll by Lithe Fider.jpg|Oh god! the [[Furries]] are coming!!
Image:Dolfie-P1000266.jpg|I R A happy family.nguro yes?
Image:Dollfie-Steph-G.jpg|its raping time!
Image:Dollfies family.jpg|A happy family.
Image:Dollwtf1.jpg|This would be more hilarious if it was Pedobear
Image:Uglydoll1.jpg|DO NOT WANT
Image:Uglydoll2.jpg|Badly customized pedo [[furry]] bait?
Image:Uglydoll3.jpg|People... pay for these?
Image:Uglydoll4.jpg|KILL IT!  BEFORE IT INFECTS US ALL!
Image:BEEJAY.jpg|Headless doll... gives head?
Image:Neckfuck.jpg|[[Skullfuck]] [[fail]].
Image:Pick a name for my new boy by hiritai.jpg| Guess this doll's gender.
Image:Assume Male FIRST by AmericanLink.gif| ANSWER.
[[File:one is lesbians.jpg]]
</gallery>}}

== See also ==
*[[Barbie]]
*[[Bratz]]
*[[Desuchan]]
*[[Doll Bases]]
*[[Pullip]]
*[[Realdoll]]
*[[Rozen Maiden]]
*[[Statuephilia|Statuephiles]]

== External Links ==

*[http://denofangels.com Den of Angels] -The main forum for Dollfie [[rape|worship]] for mindless fags.
*[http://www.angelsoflife.net/forumalpha/ Angels of Life] -a shitty DOA rip off, from the [[UK]]
*[http://denofdemons.org Den of Demons] - Forum consisting of [[PMS|bitchy]] [[whore|TARTlets]] who think [[newfag|they]]'re members of Anon -but [[fail]].
*[http://www.controversialdoll.com/forums/index.php Controversial Doll] -A site for all of your doll porn and gore needs! [[kawaii|KAWAII]]!
*[http://www.abjds.com/forum/index.php Resinality] -No one goes on here….EVA.
*[http://nestofbutterflies.com/forum/YaBB.pl Nest Of Butterflies] -.... yeah... NOB.
*[http://dollchitchat.3.forumer.com/index.php?act=idx Doll Chit Chat] -Reborn corpse babies, H KNOWS Dorries...


{{Timeline|Featured article July 29, [[2006]]|[[Troll]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Buttes]]}}

[[Category:Fandom Stuff]][[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Subcultures]]