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{{achtung|Nobody cares about you larping as a balkan nationalist, take your turbofolk and retarded memes elsewhere}}

'''The Balkans''' is a place synonymous with [[war]] and [[chaos]]. The tradition of '''Balkanization''' began with the [[Greeks]] who preferred tiny city-states who squabbled constantly to [[United States|unity and the success it brings (lol)]]. The only time the Balkans had a sense of stability was during the reign of the [[Turkey|Ottoman Empire]], but the dirty Turks made the mistake of not doing to the Greeks, Serbs, and Bulgarians what they did for the [[Armenians]]. [[British|Lord Byron]] and fellow [[Britfags]] then decided to help Greece gain independence because it was supposedly the pink-sparkly birthday of democracy, but they soon realized that the Greeks [[Iraq|don't give a damn about democracy]]. For a country often associated with democracy, modern Greece spent most of its recent history as a monarchy and a military junta (and don't forget about the [[Riots#Greece_2010|riots]]). 

The name '''The Balkans'''  came from a misplaced German, August Zeune, who attempted to study Geography and failed, defined it in 1808 to describe areas that were totally fucked up under Turkish [[Buttsex]] rule. So much that's broken in our modern world was invented by [[France|Faggy French]] (like, say, the creaky old term "Levant" for the [[Middle East]]) or [[Anal|Repressed German]] academics.

Today, the Balkans are made up of the following countries:

*[[Greece]] &ndash; the most misunderstood country in the region. They are empire-cravers, not democrats. They would like nothing better than to recreate the Byzantine Empire and be the majority in control rather than a minority buttraped by Turks.
*[[Albania]] &ndash; Misplaced [[Muslims]] whose main exports are armed rebellions and civil unrest. The chief importers of these Albanian products are its loving neighbors Serbia and Fyromia.
*[[Serbia]] &ndash; Slavs kicked out of Russia. They are known for [[Genocide|ethically cleansing]] Croats, Albanians and Bosniaks aswell as getting bombed by NATO.
*[[Croatia]] &ndash; Slavs larping as Germans. Just like the Serbs, They were Known for [[Genocide|Genociding]] anyone that Isn't Croat, Especially the Serbs.
*[[Kosovo]] &ndash; The part of [[Serbia]] that told them to fuck themselves.
*[[Fyromia]] &ndash; A country whose inhabitants claim to be descendants of ancient [[Macedonia]]ns, but they was really some Bulgarian-Serbian hybrids who moved in and kicked the real descendants of Alexander the Great back to Greek Macedonia, which then became true and proud Macedonia.
*[[Bosnia]] &ndash; a bad mix of [[Muslims]] and [[Slavs]]
*[[Bulgaria]] &ndash; more [[Slavs]] who got lost
*[[Romania]] &ndash; more [[Slavs]] who think they are [[Romans]]
*[[Montenegro]] &ndash; more [[Slavs]] and [[Albania]]ns
*[[Slovenia]] &ndash; Femboy Nazis everywhere.
*[[Turkey]] &ndash; Turco-Mongol-Arab-Greek Rapebabies Who kicked off the Greeks from Anatolia, their status as a balkan country is widely debated although they share the same similarities to the balkan countries (I.e: Shit economy, Delusional Nationalists everywhere, Long history of Genocide etc).
*[[Hungary]] &ndash; more Slavs and Mongols who think they are Romans, Just like the turks their status as a Balkan country is still debated.


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