View source for FanFiction.Net


[[Image:FFnet logo.png|thumb|200 px|<s>No moar Rule 34</s> <s>Proceed, this is relevant to my interests.</s> <s>I said stoppit.</s> No, please continue...]]

A million monkeys on a million typewriters, also known as FanFiction.Net, is one of many [[STD|pus-filled boil]]s on the tender ass-cheek of the internets. This site is a [[MySpace|battle-ground]] between [[Wapanese|Animu fantards]], [[fangirls|yaoi Nazis]], [[Furry|furfags]], [[goth|emo fucks]], and [[16 year old girl|16 year old girls]].

Founded [[at least 100]] years ago, FF.Net is [http://www.fictionpress.com/ Fictionpress.com]'s mentally retarded buttbaby with [http://www.freewebs.com/gryffindor-tower/ Griffindor Tower]. [[not|Oddly enough]] for a [[fanfiction]] site, much of its content has little or nothing to do with its [[goatse|source]]. Perhaps there were a few, somewhere along the way, but they were quickly overtaken by [[Otakukin|''Naruto''/''Inuyasha'' yaoi x-overs]].

Gifted with an exceptionally [[retarded]] fanbase, FF.Net manages to have the world record for most entries with [[typo|spelling errors]] and [[1337]]speak. Like its counterpart [[DeviantART]], FF.Net actually slows and in some cases [[Kameko|retards]] the creative process, meaning many competent writers will often be stuck doing [[slashfic]] while soaking up all the [[blow job|mindless praise]] and slowly forgetting hough two yous homonyms. It is interesting to note that [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/927036/Goddess_Millenia_WoV many] [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/598884/snapesnogger shitty] [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/285607/Urd-chan DA] [http://www.fanfiction.net/~highpriestessmegami artists] have accounts on FF.Net.

==The Stories==

Being an [[Shit|amazing]] website, FF.Net is a oasis of [[Boredom|creativity]]. Even though there are literally tens of categories to fit your story in [[LOL WUT|(only a handful of which ever get read)]], all fanfiction follows a set number of [[Faggots|readers]].

===[[Yaoi]]===

Yaoi creaters are mostly girls that have absolutely no life what so ever, or are chicks who have never gotten laid and have nothing better to do but imagine men getting fucked because they never had. And are very very alone, they truly need to get some fucking attention in their pitiful lives.  However, this method of attention garnering is extremely effective, as many of the pairings you will see on the site will be impossible to forget without serious brain-injury (such as the countless ghoul/human pairings in the Fallout section), thus haunting you until death. Yaoi is the infection that leeches and drains on the minds of innocent browsers on FF.Net. Either that or it leaves you scarred, since most of the time rape, epecially of minors, turns these fucking pedo basement- dwellers on.  However, occasionally a story is submitted for the lulz. <del>[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3942381/1/Jesus_and_Hitler_a_Romance Like so.]</del> '''FUCKING JEWS TOOK IT DOWN'''

===Horror===

These stories are just not [[Harlequin Ichthyosis Fetus|scary]]. Nope nope nope, not scary, never. When they’re not just ripping off ''[[Silent Hill]]'', they’re just random scenes of [[Holocaust|"brutal" violence]]. It is not unusual to see a member of the [[Insane Clown Posse]] pop up somewhere. 

These stories often contain [[vampires]], because what’s more frightening than an [[faggoth|emo dandy]] [[almost raped|almost raping]] a bunch of characters [[Anne Rice|not interesting enough to care about]], slapping a bunch of run of the mill [[piss|blood]] and [[guro|gore]] and calling it original.

Then you come across a chick who while having no life, is slightly insane while she's at it, and has created a monster you can't help but tilt you head and stare at, unknowing pointing in the process.

===Tragedy/Angst===

Or, [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2583056/1/Love_of_Fear emo emo bawwwwww]! These are most often frequented by [[cutters]] who not only write both [[shitty|deep]] prose and poetry ripping off [[lolicon|Evanescence]],  but often combine the two to create one massive lump of [[stream of consciousness|gay shit]]. 

[[Suicide]] stories are not uncommon, with the [[Not|surprisingly]] chipper author’s note saying "[[Asspies|I almost tried suicide 1ce but now I no its not the answer lololololol]]." Authors that specialize in this genre can take even the most cheerful, [[goth|outgoing character]] and turn them into a fermenting jug of emo [[jenkem]].

Take for example the many many [[Emo|Harry]] and [[Suicide|Edward]] fiction that graces the net with it's [[Fellatio|sucky]] presence. but hey, if i had a [[Tara Gilesbie|mass murdering shithead]] after me, or actually found myself liking that [[Bella|cunt who just wanted to get laid]], I'd be depressed too.
Then again, we all know they're [[gay|Fags]].

===Action===

Really just an excuse to have a story [[tl;dr|97 chapters long]] with an average of [[At least 100|100]] words per chapter and a cliffhanger at the end of each one. [[Shit nobody cares about|Also! Notice! How! All! The! Characters! End! All! Of ! Their!  Sentences! Like! This!]]

===[[Ship|Romance]]===

For those too cowardly to do [[furfags|yaoi]]. Contains some of the [[My Immortal|clumsiest descriptions]] of human interaction you’ve ever seen, possibly because authors in this category are mostly [[Urd-chan|over forty and virgins]].Mostly when someone fucks the person they were that they saw for one second and the bad guy is the person they are supposed to date.

=== [[Christian|Spiritual]] ===

Very rarely observed in the [[internets|wild]], the authors in this category feel the need to share their [[Nazi|beliefs]] with everyone else, usually by [[Mary sue|clumsy self-insertion]] and poor dialogue.

Note that all the entries are Christians, other religions have the good sense to [[stfu]] or face [[Arab|Guantanamo]].

=== [[Gay|Western/Scifi/Crime/Family/Friendship]] ===

These are completely unused categories. If you see someone post in them, it’s [[You|usually a mistake]].

=== [[Unfunny|Humor/Parody]] ===

Hideously unfunny fantard humor. Usually involving their favourite character being [[Gay|hilariously wacky and OOC!!!111]] Occasionally, you can find a good, funny parody of a shitty fandom, but these are very uncommon.

=== [[shit nobody cares about|General]] ===

This is for the [[shit]] that’s too [[boring|bland]] to even be [[love|romance]]. Usually stories about the [[Basement dweller|main characters]] [[OMFG|stubbing their toe]] and then going to [[lol wut|buy batteries at Kmart]]. These stories are read by [[you|no one]].

===Poetry===

Rivaling DA in pure artistic [[Fail|failure]], poetry is [[always|most often]] [[shit]] that they wrote while not paying attention in [[Teenager|English]]. [[Typical]] subjects include [[Shit|rain]], [[cutting]], depression, [[fag|cutting]], [[agnostic|existential shit]], and how the blade of a knife feels [[Shit was so cash|so cool]] against your [[hot]] skin and how crimson blood is as it mars your pale flesh. And [[cock]].

===Crossover===

[[Image:Ultimate Rule 34.jpg|thumb|200 px|The ending to every piece of [[crossover]] fanficton EVAR.]]

What’s somehow more derivative than a story [[original|using someone else's characters]]? A story using someone else's characters and a plot lifted from yet another person’s work, of course! Most [[crossovers]] include '''[[Harry Potter]]''', '''[[Twilight]]''', '''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''', '''[[Naruto]]''', '''[[Star Trek]]''', '''[[Lord of the Rings]]''' '''[[Inuyasha]]''', '''Yu Yu Hakusho''', '''Charmed''', and '''[[Sailor Moon]]'''. This is usually done for the sake of a yaoi pairing that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

On April 1st, 2009, the site's admins finally caved to bitching by its members and decided to take all the crossovers and separate them from the other fanfics, making it all the easier to find the most [[shit|fucktarded]] crossover fics. Investigation into the matter has uncovered some truly disturbing crossovers:

*[[Mario]]/[[WTF|Care Bears]]
*[[Twilight]]/Anything
*[[Harry Potter]]/Anything
*[[House]]/[[Harry Potter]]
*E.T./Gilligan's Island
*[[Jack Sparrow|Pirates of the Caribbean]]/Veggie Tales
*[[Lazy Town]]/[[Yu-Gi-Oh]]
*[[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]/Malcolm in the middle
And that is merely the tip of the shitberg.

===Mature/Lemon===

[[Image:fic_lemon.png|thumb|200 px|A typical furry [[porn|lemon]] on fanfiction.net.]]

The mature stories, the nutsacks of the website, either contain unfunny chapters of children cartoon characters cursing at each other every five seconds or worst of all, [[porn|lemons]]. So they take two characters (or, if they're really sick, more than that) and write about them getting into some steamy action, which is clearly their way of getting off on it considering how shitty and unrealistic the plot ends up being. Most of the time you can tell if the author is a virgin because of their lack of detail when the characters start having sex, or they just get their "Facts" completely wrong overall. Of course, you will rarely ever finish reading them, because by then you will either..

*Be crying out for society.
*Throw up and then write a [[Troll|trololo]] review.
*[[Fap|Jack off]] while reading the lemon then afterwards wonder why you're still reading that shit.

==The Authors==
The [[furfags|authors]] of FF.Net comes from all around the world, yet there are only a few variations, because the only people who prefer fanfiction over original fiction are utter fucktards.

===The profile spammer===

{{co|profilespam|OH, DEAR LORD, SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!|Hey, this girl reviewed my story. Imma open up her profile|0|[[Image:Fanfictionnetprofilespam01.png|frameless|997px]]<br/>[[Image:Fanfictionnetprofilespam02.png|frameless|997px]]
If you seriously read all that, congratulations, your life is meaningless and you should [[Suicide|kill yourself]]. DO IT, FAGGOT.
(Alternately: go to [http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1901695/ this user's page] and flame the shit out of her for this faggotry.)
|color: black; background-color: white; padding: 0px;}}

'''Optional''': Stories of their own, reviews that amount to more than "lol", basic typing skills.

===The tuff chick===

She rites badass! Fiction and she will [[Computer Science III|pwn ya internets]] if ya fuck with her. Has the [[Internets English|spelling abilities]] of a retarded baby monkey, your average [[GoddessMillenia|DA user]] or a blind puppy with no legs.

===The DA migrant===

This person has come to FF.Net for one purpose alone, to make fanfiction that [[unrealistic expectations|validates their yaoi otp/fancharacter ripoff/shitty fantasy concept]]. Usually starts out saying “[[lolcow|this is my first story, plz bee kind thnks]]” but turns into a [[Snapesnogger|rabid snarling bitch]] when you dare besmirch her mighty craft. Besmirch I say!

===The creepy yaoi girl===

This is the [[Sephirothslave|fangirl]] that writes nothing but stomach-churning, obsessive yaoi between two characters that have no [[canon]] backup. Be wary of this one, because they’re just so [[batshit]] they can bite your [[balls|scrotal sac]] off through the internet, they just have yet to figure out how.

[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2112999/Leilita_Chan Exhibit A] Rather satifying [[Lolcow|response]]. Troll [[for great justice|for great justice]]

===The hyper grrrrl===

Running from the ages of 16 to…16, these authors are known for their [[punctuation Nazi|run-on sentences ]]and their ability to make you want to kill everyone, [[evar]]. They are often [[shit|Suethors]] as well.

===The [[Suethor]] ===

Once spanning [[YTMND|horizon to horizon]] of myriad fandoms, this author has become endangered what with Microsoft [[spellcheck]] and brass knuckles dropping in price. Nearly all of them were 13 year old girls, the remaining 5% were sad [[basement dwellers]] with [[otherkin]] dreams. 

'''Note:''' it is usually impossible to tell between a Suethor and a really good [[troll]]. See ''[[My Immortal]]'' for further information.

===Emo===

Really doesn’t deserve a category to itself, since they are only doing it for the [[attention whore|attention]], not the lulz. Will post fanfiction with chapters hitting the [[tl;dr|triple digits]], each one containing an [[shit|Evanescence]] or [[piss|Taking Back Sunday]] song. The easiest author category to troll, possibly all that wrist slitting means they have no backbone.

=== [[Nothing|Actual aspiring authors]] ===

These are [[None|few]] and far between on the site. If they actually claim to be aspiring authors, they're [[Truth|probably lying.]]  

On the off chance you DO find something [[No|halfway decent]] on the website that was volunteered for, the writer has long since left to do something useful, leaving unfinished work in an attempt to emulate [[Death|Robert Jordan]]. Due to the constant influx of [[shit|shitty]] fanfics onto the site, any reasonably well-written material found will be buried under countless layers of [[shit]].

If you find a somewhat [[No|skilled author]] that is still active on the site, there are a few things you can do (after promptly ensuring that you aren't dreaming or completely wasted):

*Tell them that they're wasting their talent on contributing to the cesspool that is the literary equivalent of [[Tubgirl|diarrhea]], and that they should try straining their fandom-addled brains into coming up with an original work.
*Encourage them to write [[flame|scathing reviews]] of other people's badly written works. Let them discover how delightful [[IDIFTL|doing it for the lulz]] is when they see the inevitable whiny replies and fail attempts to flame their own fics (in the form of reviews) are. 
*If their manner is similar to that of a pretentious [[tartlet]], test the waters by posting some scathing critique of your own and see how they react. Sometimes these authors think that being able to write half-decent fanfics makes them Internet-famous, and will fly into a nerd [[rage]], providing some lulz for your trouble.

==Comments/Reviews==
[[Image:Wtfstory.jpg|thumb|[[lolwut]]]]

Much like [[DeviantART|DA]], reviews are not allowed to include any [[lulz|actual criticism]], or it will be counted as a flame. Naturally, this greatly retards the creative process; when people only tell an author how much they loved their ''[[Naruto]]''/''[[Inuyasha]]'' yaoi x-overs, they get no idea what aspects of their writing should improve. Therefore the author becomes [[rape|stuck in a vicious circle]], writing the same [[shit]] over and over again with their fan's hands firmly on their [[e-penis]].

Ideally, a review is two sentences long.  The first sentence should be used to offer a generic compliment, and the second should refrence a specific part of the story to prove you actually read it.  Unfortunately, a significant number of reviewers still fail to provide the latter.

[[Typical]] [[Shit|responses]]:

*"[[Fag|taht was soo great!]] [[Swine Flu|*squeal*]] [[Fag|kepp up the good work!]]"
*"[[Bitch|lol i lurve that couple, everyone else is just jelous!]]"
*"[[Weeaboo|awww, so sad! u dont need 2 try sucide its not teh answer!]]"
*"[[Whore|man dat was a unexpected cliffy! how u learn to rite so good?]]"
*"[[F5|UPDATE!]]"
*"[[Gay|I love cock.]]"

Typical [[butthurt]] [[Les Six|Kitty Flamingo]] fan[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2046292/kgirllovesyou] kgirllovesyou (guess what the "k" stands for);

{{quote|Leaving FF.Net untill the admins of this site do something about the [[ED|flamers, trolls and spammers]]. This site has gone downhill for the past couple years and i am tired of it. the spammers, trolls and flamers have taken over and the admins dont seem to care.}}
Strangely [[13 year old girl|kgirllovesyou]] (who enjoys spamming everybody who doesn't [[suck|vuw]] [[Tomb Raider|Kitty]]) has prevented anybody from contacting them.

==Types of Reviews==

There are many different kinds of reviews one can leave on FFnet, but only some are considered [[shit|good reviews]] (the ones that hold no depth and kiss the author's ass). Regardless of this, many reviewers feel the need to share their thoughts [[truth|honestly]], despite the [[h8|abuse]] they will receive off the author afterwards. Many of these review types have developed into cliques on the site, with Flamers banding together thinking they are [[loser|badasses]], Concritters talking amongst themselves about how [[lie|they are above everyone else and are like Gods]], and Anti-Flamers, who go out of their way to bring down the Flamers and are usually [[butthurt]] authors who are incredibly easy to [[troll]].

===The Con Crit===

{{Main|Constructive Criticism}}

Abbreviation of 'Constructive Criticism'; can be abbreviated further to 'CC', which just proves that 'writers' on FanFiction.Net are lazy fucks. This review is the choice of the intellect...or at least someone who would like to think they have a fucking triple-digit IQ. The review will point out everything wrong with a story, keeping a civil manner as they do.

These reviewers vary from people who know what they are talking about, to people who have worse writing skills than the author they're criticising, thus looking like a [[dumbfuck]].

Usually an author will see a CCer give a [[lulz|negative]] review to their [[shit|masterpiece]], and call them a Flamer, despite the fact that if it was a Flamer, there'd be a lot more personal insults present.

Con Crit excerpt:

{{quote|The story doesn't flow too well. The author jumps between the subjects too quickly, sometimes not giving enough background and ending a thought when it clearly needs more development. There were also some places that made me frown because of the contradictory. For example, Will did the most horrible thing ever - he proposed. If it really was such an awful thing to do, why did she accept his hand? Then, Bella put the whole house on fire - everything was burnt down, even the bricks. Where did the money and the trunk come from? Yes, I understood that those could've been placed aside prior to the flame-party, but there wasn't any reference in the story. So, the author should have a better look on these little things.}}

===The Flame===

The general opinion of [[grammar nazi|Flamers]] is extremely conflicted, with some [[white knight|hating them and dedicating their existence to eradicating them]], while others love them. Most just [[nobody cares|don't care]], though (until they are flamed by one themselves), but it is agreed that Flamers are the [[asshole]]s of FanFiction.Net. A flame is the equivelant of going up to the author and hitting them across the face with a crowbar, before then adding tips on how to improve their story.

[[lulz|And then pissing on them]].

Currently, there are many Flamers residing at FanFiction.Net. Lord Kelvin, Georgasaurus, Ever Heard Of A Dictionary, Flame Rising, Corrupted Lament, Tallz Is De Langste Ster, Bitter Sea Light, The Magic Flying Walrus and Aquaman52 are just a few of these notorious flamers.

Many of FanFiction.Net's Flamers reside at The Literate Union, a forum which aims to rid FanFiction.Net of all Shitfics.

Many Flamers have a tendency to look as if they are [[RAGE|RAAAAAAAGE]], but mainly they spam the swearwords and insults to get the best reaction. As most shit!authors are 13-year old girls, [[sensitive|they are extremely sensitive to harsh language]], and much [[BAWWW|BAWWWWWING]] will ensue. For those who wish to [[troll]] FanFiction.Net but would prefer to avoid the forums, flaming is the way to go.

A flame example:

{{Quote|I am not a retard, my dear twat. Unlike you, I do not need someone telling me that the viewpoint has changed. If you were a half decent author instead of a shitty little fanbrat, the description of your writing would be sufficient enough to show whose PoV it is.

Next up, we have the space bar. This magical instrument has the power to...make a space.

Even after a comma!

The fact is, fucktard, you are clearly an illiterate asswipe who has no fucking idea about punctuation, spelling, or 'talent' in the writing department (or any department, for that matter). You have the longest, most retarded run on sentences I have ever seen (the period button is there for a fucking reason, dickwad), and you seem to easily get confused between 'there' and 'their.'

'There' is used, for example, in reference to places:

"Get your whore ass over there, woman."

'Their' is used to reference when something belongs to someone:

"My friends are so lucky. Their wimminz make them sammiches. GTFO of here and go into the kitchen where you belong, bitch!"

And finally, STFU with those chipmunk pathetic lyrics. No one cares about them but you. Kill it with fire or some shit, because they make you look like a ten year old furry trying to get off over her own material.

Then again, that might explain the lack of space key. Over-fapping make your keyboard sticky?

Get this shit off the site. It's nothing more than a pile of illiterate sludge you sicked up after experimenting with crystal meth.}}

===The Retard Flame===

Some people view Flamers as [[awesome|The Shit]], and wish to be like them. They will then hunt down a shit!fic and [[fail|leave a badly written review that gives the impression they are a dyslexic five-year old having a tantrum]]. Normal Flamers [[h8|hate]] and often [[lulz|abuse]] these reviewers, because they make the rest of them look stupid. Everyone else hates them, too, and so they remain unloved, eventually commiting [[suicide]] because they have nothing better to do.

Example one:

{{quote|Okay.
How can you call this a story! It's three words. It has no potential and its just... pathetic! Maybe try writing something that won't make me want to crawl in a hole and die. One word, Pathetic.

Go crawl in a hole, die, and never, ever, come back to fanfic! You are a useless, pathetic, lowlife who has no reason to live!}}

Example two:

{{quote|*sigh* You gave me such a headache. I would rather have not read such a horrible story. You disregarded punctuation, capitalization, Your story line was disgusting, are you serious? Looking for socks? And your ending nearly made me vommit, "until the world blew up." not only that, but you used leet in your story. You used "u" insead of "you", when you did that it was just irritating. Also at one point I got so confused. How did they end up at Jacob's place? How did they figure out it was Emmet? And why would Emmet take their socks? Disgusting, completely and utterly disgusting. You need to go to school and learn how to write, and spell, and stop wasting your time texting if you spell like that when you write. You broke so many rules of writing it's almost unbearable. Goodbye.}}

Note how the [[idiot]]s have made no attempt to explain what is wrong, and that their own [[grammar nazi|grammar/spelling]] is questionable.

A good review type for trolling short-tempered, gullible Flamers. Warning: Flamers tend to be trollers themselves.

===The Revenge Flame===

[[waaaambulance|Many a butthurt author that has been reviewed negatively will go to their reviewer, find their own story, and then leave a negative review for it. These reviews tend not to have any supporting evidence for their comments, usually because they realise they can't find anything wrong with the story, but still want to flame them in revenge. Their comments are incredibly vague, always badly written, and sometimes in all Caps.]]

Example one:

{{quote|this story sucks dihareaa shit from an asshole fountain
NO PLOT
NO SENSE OF HUMOR
this story SUCKS
by the way. Arceusavenger & I are getting revenge
have a nice abuse free day u gay sod}}

Example two:

{{quote|NO PLOT
NO HUMOR
BORING AS HELL
SO MUCH IMPROVEMENT NEEDED.
BUT YOU CANT BE ARSED BECAUSE YOURE TOO BUSY MAKING PEOPLE FEEL SHIT WITH YOUR REVIEWS.

I Will Now Imitate What You Write At The End Of Your Cruel Reviews.
Have A Nice Abuse-free Day.

SWASBKITB (Sealed With A Spiked Boot Kick In The Balls}}

===The Troll===

The obvious [[troll]] reviews. Lulzy to exploit, but troll reviews are usually ignored, because [[no one cares]]. Mainly consist of bad typing and attacking a decent story for no good reason and with weak or false points. Can generally be found on popular stories with lots of fans.

===The Copy-Paste===

[[copypasta|Copy-Paste]] reviews were most commonly used by 'Flame Rising' and are another form of trolling. Concritters and Flamers tend to dislike Copy-Paste reviews, because of the lack of effort involved, and because one doesn't have to look at a story to review like this.

Flame Rising's infamous review:

{{quote|Now, read very carefully, kiddos: YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FLAMED RANDOMLY. YOU HAVE BEEN FLAMED BECAUSE ONE OR MORE OF THESE APPLY TO YOU OR YOUR PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL A STORY (I am an equal-opportunity flamer. You haven't been flamed because you're a Christian or you write yaoi, or some other fucked-up excuse. You were flamed because your writing is shit. See? It makes things easier if you just stop hiding behind excuses and admit the truth to yourself) Hang tight because here we go:

1. You can't fucking spell and/or you know less grammar than a six year old.

2. You try to blind your readers by bolding or italicizing every fucking word.

3. You are too fucking retarded to use the enter key.

4. You think people give two squirts of dog crap about your emotastic life.

5. You whore for reviews.

6. You fancy yourself God's gift to poetry because you can rhyme shit.

7. You have A/Ns longer than the story, and they include conversations with your other fucked up personalities that no one gives two shits about.

8. You think your readers are so stupid that you constantly have to announce point of view changes with the words "-Insert Character Name's- POV".

9. Your summary includes something along the lines of this: "NO FLAMEZ OR ELSE MIKICHU WILL EATZ U!1!!11!"

10. You violate the site's TOS and/or Guidelines. (My personal favorite, kiddos.)}}

===The One-Liner===

Most commonly written by [[retard]] fans who wants to lick the ass of their favourite author. They post positive comments, even if the author doesn't deserve them, in hope they'll be written into the story somehow. Grammar and spelling is often non-existent, and the reviews are no help whatsoever. An author with even a slight amount of intelligence will facepalm every time they receive one.

Examples:

{{quote|gud chapter.luv it. congtrats on ur exam results too ^^}}

{{quote|omg loved this chapter. what a twist. good cliffhanger u go girl! cant wait for next update huni...hope ur having fun on ur laptop lol i feel like smashing mine up cos its slow as n i cant play my sims 2 on it ^^v laters luv lea}}

{{quote|I can't beleace Kadar would do something like that.}}

{{quote|LOL}}

===The Threat===

Similar to the Revenge Flame, this involves no actual reference to the story being reviewed, but instead involves a [[internet tough guy|butthurt author threatening to kill/maim/destroy/hack/rape/stalk/ban/summon an army of authors against the one they are reviewing]]. Of course, nothing ever happens, and they have a habit of blocking the one they are reviewing first, too, to stop the author replying with a [[nobody cares|'I don't care.']]

===The STFU===

Often made by a friend or fan of an author. They will see a review they don't like and spring to the defence of an author, reviewing so all can see instead of just PMing them, and giving an overly positive review whilst shouting at the other reviewing, telling them to shut the fuck up.

{{quote|when will you sad reviewers learn?
this story is full of potential. it has a nice switch between Blazes point of view, & Sonics point of view. and the ending is awesome. the end of time is begining. it doesnt get much better than that. this could kick off a whole new series!
this story is awesome.
raymanluver & lord kelvin are just sad sad little men who critisice other peoples good work because their stories are shit.
i expect more good stories from you

[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2115505/Solaris_Slayer SOLARIS SLAYER (cloneskywalker)]}}

==Fancharacters==
Invariably, fanfics will contain fancharacters, or will have the characters from the show/book/movie acting like complete [[Kurohime|dipshits]]. 

While many [[retards|writers]] carry an avowed hatred of FC’s, those same authors are often guilty of the [[hypocrite|same damn thing]]. This has created a [[Habbo Hotel|tense environment]], with many in the fan Gestapo ranks ready to [[fire]] the moment someone screams “[[TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL|SUUUUUE]]!” 

The [[Basement Dweller|fancharacters]], like all [[Fag|fancharacters]], are mostly carbon copies of existing characters with much [[EPIC|greater]] powers and a [[BAWWWWWW|traumatizing background]].

Fancharacters are also the tool of the discriminating [[troll]]. See: [[Tara Gilesbie]] , the most well known of them all.

Also, Fancharacters are known as "OC" (own character). I suggest you don't read this kind of story (IF YOU CAN AVOID IT!)

==Forums==
The [[forum]]s are the [[asking for it|real reason]] any [[EDiot]] should go to FF.Net. Like any forum, [[serious buisness|serious]] [[debate|discussion]] of a [[shit|topic]] is extremely [[Bel-Air|rare]]. Instead, there is a [[EPIC|vast]] amalgam of [[fangirl]] talk, [[1337|7331]], and [[asspies]]. The posts rival [[IMDb]]’s forums in sheer [[fail|stupidity]], spelling errors, and [[butthurt]]. Technically, it’s a ''lot'' like IMDb’s forums because instead of confining [[shit|topics]] to things, y’know, [[literature|concerning writing]], they allow people to post about the subject itself, leading to [[flame wars]] and bouts of [[E-Tantrum]]s that last for [[at least 100]] posts before the site [[Mod|admins]] shut them down.

Some very [[lulzy]] examples [http://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The_Chosen_Ones/41421/ here] [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/13553/2044941/1/ here], [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/2697/932110/1/ here], [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/26896/1552338/1/ here], [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/3534/323403/1/ here], [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/12274/261637/1/ here] and  [http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/2363/92019/1/ here]

Most FFN forums are RP forums, many of which are frequented by the same shitty authors running the sight. Only a few half-assed, decent RPs exist. The most popular forum on the site is an RP in the Kingdom Hearts section. The biggest, most well-known forum, however, is The Domain. Members of [http://forum.fanfiction.net/forum/The_Domain/48799/| T/D], as it is also known, are part of a forum network extending to several other forums, including [http://forum.fanfiction.net/forum/A_Little_Piece_of_Heaven/54175/| ALPoH] (what may the nicest forum) and the LU (the lulziest one). Another forum that should be known for its explosive growth is [http://forum.fanfiction.net/forum/Pokemon_Tournament_Stories/63620/| PTS], the coolest forum on FFN.
 
<gallery>
Image:Bitch bitch bitch.jpg|Two prime examples of why we embrace their Genocide.
Image:Oldman bitching.jpg
</gallery>

==No moar Rule 34?==

[[Last Thursday]], the FBI discovered the single largest cache of [[Shotacon|kiddie porn]] in the western hemisphere. Unsurprisingly, it was FF.Net. When threatened by the FBI [[party van]], FF.Net quickly dumped its cache of NC-17 fics and child porn into [[Michael Jackson]]’s dumpster, while decoying people with the [[WTC]]. 

This caused the largest wave of [[pedophile|pedo]] [[butthurt]] that has been seen in years, many sobbing greasily that they were going to contact the [[KKK|government]] about how the first amendment applies to ''[[Harry Potter]]'' [[twincest]]. They all got a ride in the party van.

This probably led to the formation of its bastard ass-baby [[pr0n|Adult Fanfiction.net]], a site proud of its pedos, and is even more time-wasting than the original.

==Creative Process==

1. Begin the first chapter with a pointless disclaimer saying you don't own *insert fandom here* because you think it will actually provide any sort of protection from copyright law, when really it doesn't and makes you look stupid (as if you didn't already look stupid by writing fanfiction in the first place).

2. Pick yaoi couple.

3. Write emo suicide.

4. Write horrible sex scene.

5. [[????]]

6. [[PROFIT!]] (and hopefully reviews which consist of nothing but praise whilst being typed by [[Cum|sticky fingers]])

==Trolling Fanfiction.net==
Like all online communities, FF.net can be trolled (very easily actually). The best ways to do it include:

===Copy and Paste===
Copy and paste a story (preferably new) from another author and claim it to be your own. You will immediately be raped with <b>"OMG PLAGIARISM"</b> and <b>"YOU HAVE NO CREATIVITY"</b>. Remind the butthurt fanfictionfags that <i>they</i> are in fact the ones that have no originality because they are writing about characters and settings they did not create nor do they own. Also remind them that the stories on that website are not copyright protected, so you have every right to claim the copypasta to be yours.

===Bad Ending===
Write a legitimate story (no matter how painful the process may be). However, make the ending horrible (everyone gets raped, [[Bel-Air]], etc.). For the [[leet]] [[Script kiddie|haxx0rs]] out there that have better things to do with their time than write flowery [[ass rape]], lulz can be achieved by cracking an obviously-abandoned account that has some well-liked story (i.e. 1000+ reviews) and revising the final chapter with a terrible ending.

===War===
Fanfiction.net provides each fandom with its own forum. Enter one forum and spam the hell out of it; claim you are from another fandom. The members of that forum will retaliate against the other one (even though they didn't do anything, [[LOL]]) by spamming it. At this point all you need to do is watch the drama and [[fap|laugh]].

[[PROTIP]]: [[Sockpuppet]] when doing this.

=="Beta Reading"==
Recently, the site added a feature called "Beta-Reading". This allows [[basement dweller|author]]s to read and [[rape|criticize]] the [[crap|work]]s of other authors before they put their stuff on the site. Unfortunately for trolls, [[One does not simply X into Mordor|one does not simply lulz their way into this Mordor]]. To become one of these, a member must have been a member for at least a month, posted 5 fanfics onto the site OR written [[over 9000|at least 9,000]] words, and fill out some crappy form that designates what shit you're willing to read. Essentially, one has to establish themselves as a member of the site. To get lulz from this requires patience and probably actual writing ability in order to lure potential [[lolcow]]s in so they can be milked.

Note: Casual [[lulz]] can be milked by simply wafting through the sea of applicants. In fact, a drinking game can be created; take a shot whenever you see the misspelling "[[retard|grammer]]" in the same context as "[[spellcheck|im rly gud at spellling.]]"

==See Also==
*[[Fanfiction]]
*[[Tara Gilesbie]]
*[[Peter Chimaera]]
*[[Chikichakigirl]]
*[[Squirrelking]]
*[[God Awful Fan Fiction]]
*[[Mary Sue]]
*[[Plot bunny]]
*[[Animu]]
*[[Slash]]
*[[Undesirable Number One]]
*[[Ruining the internet]]

==Moar Links==
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/ FF.Net]
*[http://www.subreality.com/glossary.htm A Helpful Glossary]
*[http://adultfan.nexcess.net/ AFF.Net]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/r/3130445/ Troll, if you have time.]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1325624/Kasper_A_Vestergaard/ And this one, too.]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/863937/Dragon_Jadefire Ditto.]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1394189/ He's practically begging for trolling. A goddamn Lucario furfag.]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1018752/macXblooLOVER/ Might be a troll.]
*[http://www.godawful.net/ Godawful Fanfiction]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4329238/1/The_Pain_of_His_Addiction/ This is also a troll]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1730364/  wut]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1818967/Fan_of_The_Secret_Saturdays/ Somebody be trollin' or has the severe Assburgers]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1749602/  "Goffick" fanfiction]
*[http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-wel-zen-and-yugiexyamihawt111.html He said he wanted yami to rape my son's corpse so he wouldnt "die a virgin"]
*[http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/stop-wel-zen-and-yugiexyamihawt111/signatures-page7.html World-wide butthurt over fanfiction]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2017915/ Author so unoriginal she rewrites Scrubs episodes with her character in JD's place]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1199322/ Author who states she hates fangirls yet her countless Wrestling Mary Sues & slashes prove otherwise]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5462335/1/The_Rape_of_Nick_Jonas a typical Jonas Brothers fan fiction]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5512653/ NARUTO GOES TO HOOTERS.]
*[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4660376/1/Deceit/ An excellent, erotic piece of literature.  Be sure to have plenty of Kleenex nearby.]
[[category:Fandom Stuff]]

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