View source for Tibia

[[Image:tibia_titlescreen.jpg|thumb|Title screen.]]
[[Image:Tibia Scary Screen.jpg|thumb|What lurks around Tibia.]]
'''[http://www.goatse.cz Tibia]''' is a cheap ripoff of Ultima IV in the form of an [[MMORPG]] created by [[fucktard]] [[German]]s. It is one of the most vile cesspools of [[16-year-old girl]]s, [[13-year-old boy]]s, [[camwhore]]s, [[basement-dweller]]s, [[fag]]s, [[emo]]s, [[pedophile]]s, [[nerd]]s and other assorted [[sick fuck]] degenerates on the entire [[Internets]].

== Tibia overview ==
[[Image:tibia_fighting1.jpg|thumb|This is the least fun you've ever had.]]
*Boasts an isometric view like Ultima, Diablo, and [[Diablo 2]]; only with shittier graphics and much less fun.
*Allows you to pick from 133 different colors for your hair, shirt, pants, and shoes. However the only skincolor is pasty-[[German]] white making [[Tibia]] the first blatantly racist [[MMORPG]] in existence.
*Is mostly populated by [[Brazil]]lians.
*Has 72 servers/worlds to chose from, but only 2, Dolera and Inferna, allow unrestricted PvP battling without stupid [[rules]]/[[punishment]]s and one of these is completely full of [[German]]s and other various Euro-trash.
*Has forums for all servers/worlds, none of which allow you to post pictures.
*One race and four, count them, four vocations to choose from. Wow!!!

== The Tibia client ==
[[Image:tibia_fighting2.jpg|thumb|This level of entertainment could only come from the people who brought you [[Rammstein]].]]
Tibia was created by CipSoft GmbH, which is another name for four [[fucktard]]ed [[German]] [[pedophiles]] who, in unleashing the Tibia client on the world, prove they lack the competence to program a VCR. No matter what hardware you run this piece of shit on, it will consume 100% of the available CPU cycles, Over 9000mb Ram, And the best video card evar wont run over 35 fps. Period. No exceptions. Another fine example of [[German]] engineering. Despite its insatiable urge for system resources, the client boasts choppy blitted graphics, unresponsive controls AND [[shitloads]] of lag, which will get you killed.

=== Tibia Servers ===
There are 74 [[shitty ]]servers in Tibia, but only two of them, Dolera and Inferna actually matter. People from those servers tend to be [[lamers]] who think they're actually cool, because of the unlimited pvp-e experience. 

Due to unlimited amount of frags one can make, the following tend to be common:

*Increased amount of botters.
*Even more PA (power abuse) by confused [[13-year-old boy]]s.
*Increased number of [[camwhore|camwhoring]] to get unhunted.
*Most bots actually invented in pvp-e servers.
*More disconnected from [[IRL]] than people from other servers.

=== Tibia Rules===
[[Image:Tibia Banishment.jpg|thumb|left|Player getting banished for an attempt to allow his sister to [[camwhore]] for help in Tibia, while his name doesn't seem as a problem.]]
Tibia rules are a bunch of crap thats [[TL;DR|Too damn fucking long to read]] and are a pain in the [[ass]], because they're to protect the pure innocent minds of 13-year-olds who do [[cocaine|coke]], [[camwhore]] and [[masturbate]] all day.

Players who will get banned or banished only .5% of the time:
*Botters
*Cheaters
*Account sharers

Players who will get banned or banished 95.5% of the time:
*People who curse.
*People who state [[Shit nobody cares about|their opinions]].
*People who will attempt to trade Tibia goods or actions for a webcam.
*People who take advantage of their freedom of speech (which is not allowed in fuckin [[Germany]]).
*People who admit to how [[gay]] this dogshit game is.

And this is all thanks to the fucktard germans and game masters [GMs] that run this game. As of now there are about 50 GMs and about 74 servers, instead of using their fucking brains and giving each game 1-2 servers to patrol and look after GMs can go to w/e server they want. This generally means throwing parties and doing [[buttsecks]] to each other then posting it on [http://www.tibianews.net Tibia News]. Go figure

== People who play Tibia == 
[[Image:tibia_rlpics_Asiss_del_chaos_(left)-Maguz_Pistolero_(center)-Alais_Thur_(right).jpg|thumb|The type of [[fag]]s who play Tibia. No, really.]]
[[Image:tibia_rlpics_Moris_(Darth_Lady).jpg|thumb|Typical Euro-trash [[emo]] you'll find in the world of Tibia.]]
[[Image:Tibia Bon Para.jpg|thumb|Another [[azn]] [[pervert]] (known as Bon Para).]]
*[[Brazil]]lians. "BR?" Every server/world is full of them. There is no explanation for this.
*[[Pedophile]]s
*[[Attention whore]]s
*[[Drama whore]]s
*About half the population of [[sweden]]
*Yngwie
*[[16-year-old girl]]s who will, "...show [[tits]] on [[webcam]] for gp/items" (see [[Camwhore]])
*[[13-year-old boy]]s pretending to be [[16-year-old girl]]s in order to get gp/items.
*[[teenage]] boys who [[Incest#EXAMPLE_5_.28RAPE.29|rape their passed out sisters.]]
*[[teenage]] boys who were told to [[Incest#Example_9000_This_one_is_just_batshit_crazyto|wear dresses and touch their mommies]] (ex. Sir Ucker, Rookz)
*[[Azn]]s
*[[Fags]] seeking respect and power because they have neither in their real lives.
*People who got bored of  [[runescape]]
*People who have the plague.
*People with [[borderline personality disorder|lots of issues]].
*Wannabe ganstas.
*Ninja imitating nubs who actually were raped by kids younger than themselves while visiting [[Brazil]].
*People who were [[raped]] when they were little and need to take it out on killing people on Tibia.
*Extremly ugly people (see also [[manbearpig]])
*Nazis
<youtube>BDhqovsKnac</youtube>

== Forums in Tibia ==
Tibia forums are full of drama, people usually posts about how someone stole/killed/raped them and then start making wars and such.(There are also some retards that make wars on NO-PVP servers)
There are none or few lulz, and if someone makes a good lulz, then they will overuse it, for example Man in cave[http://forum.tibia.com/forum/?action=thread&threadid=1344512], it was a good lulz, but now everyone is overusing it, its already a year old and people like Nolan still makes fun of it and make festivals, etc.
Attention whores are common posters, always saying they quit but they return again, or returning and quitting and saying everyone hates them.
Posters are commonly known, here are some examples:

*Camwhores, just make drama about their weddings, etc.

*Brazilians, making threads in google translator english about how some [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|retard roped his summoned monks]]

*[[13-year-old boys]] with [[no life]] who reply to all the posts they can to increase their post count, which gives them a false feeling of respect and accomplishment.

*Suck ups and ass lickers who constantly defend their high level "friends" in desperate hopes of protection (When such "friend" looses their power, he or she is replaced with someone who power abuses and bots more than their previous idol).

*Flamers who constantly own [[fags]] and [[attention whores]] which results in minor [[lulz]].

Latley there have been an increasing amount of people asking their friends to post on the forums that they've died just to see how many people actually care and google "car crash" and post a link to show it as "proof"

== Social climate ==
[[Image:Tibia Gangsta.jpg|thumb|left|Tibian crackers keepin it real.]]
[[Image:Tibia kids party.jpg|thumb|[[Mexicans]] earning money for premmy]]
Tibia's social structure, like other [[MMORPG]]s is as clique-centric as a high school lunch room and far more juvenile. Some typical characteristics include:

*All servers/worlds being dominated by a small number of account-sharer/marcoer/cavebotters who attempt to cathartically excise their [[IRL]] impotence by asserting their dominance over underage [[newbie]] foreigners who don't speak english.

*In-crowds are defined by those who are invited to the cool-guy Ventrillo channels.

*Incessant whining in game-chat about deaths, lost items, and other forms of [[you fail it|fail]].

*Constant ass kissing higher levels in hopes of protection, and referring to them as "friends".

*Abusing prescription and non-prescription [[drugs]] in order to keep awake and play Tibia longer.

*Meeting your tibia sweetheart [[IRL]] in order to either achieve control of a guild, become unhunted, or marry them for a green card.

*[http://www.2girls1cup.com Share food.]

*Acting all badass when teachers are around, equivalent of acting badass on Tibia where the other person can never figure out who you are. 

=== Couples in Tibia ===
Those work pretty much the same way middle school relationships work and are doomed to [[fail]] miserably. 

When [[camwhore|camwhoring]] and [[cybersex]] fail to work the usually butt [[ugly]] [[retard]]ed [[psycho|Psychopath]]couple decides to meet [[IRL]], which increases dangers producing an equally [[fucktard]] offspring (if not [[moar]]), resulting in more people playing this dogshit game.

Common Tibia couple behaviors:

*Posting "YEAH HE HIT IT" on their [[lame]] profile in order to signify [[sex|sexual]] activity, which without this game would only happen with a [[prostitute]] or a client.

*Letting everyone know how dearly they miss each other by making multiple posts on forums and being [[drama whore]]s to keep attention away from [[cheating]] and [[camwhore|camwhoring]] with other people.

*Hunting whoever your [[bitch]] [[camwhore|cammed]] with.

*Getting married to the person that lives thousands of miles away which they have seen for a few weeks cumulatively throughout their oh-so-"long" relationship.

*Posting their ugly pictures all over the [[internets]] to show off the gaps in their teeth, [[fat]], or [[ugly|ugliness]].

=== Common Examples of Frustrated Tibia Couples ===

<gallery>
Image:Tibia br tranny.jpg|[[Brazil|br]] [[shemale]] making out with an [[ugly]] [[white]] male.
Image:Tibia nockedup.jpg|Trading a [[mexican]] [[whore]] for tibia items.
Image:Tibia gay couple.jpg|[[Fag]]s are very common in Tibia.
</gallery>

== Common sayings ==
[[Image:Tibia bitch whore.jpg|thumb|Nobody likes [[ugly]] br hoes unless they cam.]]
*'''"br?"''' This is the most common word that will be typed to you within Tibia, expect to see it spamming your screen on a constant basis. It is apparantly the method by which [[Brazil]]lians identify one another and is believed to operate on the some principle as bat sonar. Reply with "sim", or "tem guilda brazuca nesse jogo?" to give him some hope and then stop talking for [[lulz]].
*'''"fri itans plix"''' Constant begging for items/money by [[newbie]]s who never bothered with [[ESL]] classes is an integral part of Tibia.
*'''"I'm protected by <name>"''' Said by [[newbie|noob]]s when you are killing them, its your cue to [[lol]].
*'''"Plx nao keel"''' Said by [[noobs]] with on red hp after they found out that only thing they can do is to beg for mercy.
*'''"[[asl]]"''' Usually said by [[pedo]] [[internets]] predators in the game-chat, or by little frustrated [[13-year-old boys]] attempting to get some [[pussy]] or [[camwhore|cam]] action.
*'''"Hunted"''' A term which a high level will stalk and assrape you because they're obviously fucking tough and shit.
*'''"Haunted"''' Don't forget about those asshole retards that can't even threaten you correctly, and apparently have the supernatural ability to [[troll]]fuck you Via "out of body experience".
*'''"Rook"''' A term coined from the beginning areas known as Rookgaard, where a player is constantly killed until he or she is sent back to Rookgaard.
*'''"Swe?"''' Like "BR", Swedish ask for your language. The obvious response is "NO BR" or "FUCK YOU".
*"'''"AFF"''' <del>No one knows what the fuck this means.</del> It serves the same purpose as [[facepalm|*facepalm*]], only retarded(er). Usually BRs spam this in fits of laughter, or when killed, in which case they'll call you a [[irony|noob]].
*"'''Jaja/Jeje"''' Equivalent of our "Haha" in Brazilian and German. The only right way to laugh on Tibia. BR's are also known for laughing like [[retard|AHUAHAUHHAHAHAHEUHAEUAHEHAUHEUAHU]]. Kill on sight.

== How to Quit ==
[[Image:Tibia pedo.jpg|thumb|Pedos may make you want to quit.]]
If [[last Thursday]] you decided that this dogshit game isn't doing you any good and wish to quit, you must keep in mind that its like [[crack]]. Once you're hooked, no matter how many times you wished to quit, after a few weeks you go back to playing [[moar]] and [[moar]]. Keep in mind that numerous attempts to quit Tibia result in excessive forum trolling. 

If you wish to quit, because you got hunted try the following:

*Switch servers, try one of the sissy ones where no one can keel you.
*[[Camwhore]], [[camwhore]] and [[camwhore]] some more. It works wonders.
*Pay someone [[internet money]].
*Pay someone [[IRL]] [[money]].
*Sell your sister for items in order to pay out.
*Did I mention [[camwhore|camwhoring]]?

If you wish to quit, because you want a life, check this:

*You probably don't have any life left [[IRL]] and the society might not accept you back. 
*Try to make [[IRL]] [[friends]]. Ladies should attempt wearing "I'm a dirty [[slut]]" T-shirts, while the guys should [[AIDS|loose some weight]] and earn some [[IRL]] [[money]].
*[[Delete fucking everything]].
*[[suicide|Kill yourself]]. NOW!!!
*[[quit IRL]].

Before you quit, it is your moral obligation to perform this duty (As with all MMORPGs).

*Become a [[hacker]]. Fill your computer with shitload of hacks and go apeshit.
*Kill everyone around you if you can. Results in, "Y U KILl ME? UR HNTFED BY MA GUIDL MY FRIDDS SMAK UR COKC OFF FAGBICCH"
*Write a leaving message on all Tibia forums, asking for [[rape]], pity, and how you decided to become a [[fag]] [[IRL]].
*"ASDFS%$y4dfBVBTRHwy;l4ky4ykpf9dfsvd0kj054VXFVSDGAERGAE"
*Tell everyone in public chat that you had sex with every high level. If a GM wants to talk to you, try to kill him or her.

== Shitty Quests ==
[[Image:Dumbest_of_Shits.jpg|thumb|left|A [[noob]] attempting to get the Sword of Faggotry but [[doing it wrong]] and experiencing [[Fail]]; this usually ends in [[facepalm]]]]

=== The Sword of Faggotry ===
The [[German]] [[cock|gods]] of Tibia decided it would be fucking hilarious to tease the [[shit]] out of the Rookgard [[noobs]] by placing the [[Penis|Sword]] of [[Nerd Rage|Fury]] on a small island right next to the main piece of land that has no bridge and no fucking way to get over to it. Ordinarily, you'd think some jackass threw a random object over there that only a [[retard]] would go after, but the reason so many players [[cum|drool]] over this weapon is it because it has [[batshit insane]] stats (24 attack power or some shit.) 

Many losers have tried to get over to the island to get the Sword through various methods, all resulting in [[Fail]] and pulling a massive [[facepalm]]. Here's what's been tried so far:

*Stripping bare naked, running up to the spot near the island with the Sword on it and screaming "[[loser|I AM HUMBLE!!1!ONE1!1]]"
*Having a bigger, [[hackers on steroids|stronger]] player guide a level 1 through the [[shit nobody cares about|secret tunnels]] on one part of the island to bring him to the Sword and then having them scream the whole, "I'M HUMBLE!!!" thing again
*Same as method 2, but this time, the level one becomes [[an hero]] and has the other [[basement dweller]] toss his body on the island with the Sword. No one even knows how the hell that shit's supposed to work

All attempts to get the Sword result in [[epic fail]], but the Rookgard noobs never learn and will keep trying until one [[basement dweller]] finally gets his [[furfag]] hands on it, hacks the game, and [[Anders Breivik|kills fucking everyone on the whole island]].

=== The Annihilator Quest ===
[[Image:Soon_to_be_PWNED.jpg|thumb|right|Four [[hacker|highly skilled players]] taking on the Annihilator Quest]]
This involves four [[hackers]] going where [[cunt|no man has ever gone before]] and facing [[Satan]] to steal his [[yiff|yiffable]] [[plushie]]. Usually, one dies during the assault while the rest bombard the demons with [[over 9000]] spells until they're all dead. 

High level [[douchebag|douchebags]] enjoy taking videos of their [[epic]] [[pwnage]] to tease the lower levels about how it's something they'll never have the [[balls]] to do. In return, they are [[troll|trolled]] on [[YouTube]] as some sort of [[gay]] revenge.

==Wars in Tibia==
[[Image:Tibia Special Vense.jpg|thumb|Tibia wars are retarded.]]
Tibian wars are the epitome of [[Fail]]. Wars in Tibia are also about as fun as shooting yourself in the face with a nail gun. Wars consist of sitting in a ventrilo server with other unemployed [[fucktards]] such as yourself for 20 hours a day while waiting for the enemy to log on. Once actual "battles" commence the whole idea is to pound your F1-F12 keys with something(preferably your head) in hopes of shooting your enemy with [[penis|little black balls]].(Tibians love little black balls) Of course the [[Leet]] Tibian players such as [[fag|Nyalith]] have created programs that automatically shoot these black balls at enemies without the need to smash your head on the keyboard. Thus Tibians that use these programs during war have sufferd from 25% less brain damage than other Tibians. 

Common reasons wars have started in Tibia are: 


*[[camwhores]] 
*The low [[sperm]] count of 98% of its male players.
*Players of Tibia having the ego's of [[13-year-old boys]]
*Problems with your [[RL]] friends [[IRL]]
*The fact that roughly 75% of people that play tibia suffer from mental [[retardation]] or some sort of [[DSM]]
*Caming with another players [[camwhore]]
*Need to make up for their small penis and loss of penis due to prolong Tibia play.
*Killing another players [[camwhore]]
*Gaining [[over 9000]] experience in a day, which is seen as a threat to the current [[fucktards]] in power.
*Frustration that [[Daddy]] touches them every night.
*Walking near another players [[camwhore]]
*Killing other players, BUT, having his or her buttbuddies come back to [[rape]] you, in which proceed to [[rape]] them and it never stops. This is the birth of the [[goatse]].

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Ruckuz.jpg|Better give him your items [[newbie|noob]].
Image:Tibia_rl_pics_Idrial.jpg|[[Camwhore]] with a serious case of [[Internet Disease]].
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Confundillo.jpg|Um...
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Xen_Azriel.jpg|This [[jerk]] seems to think he's a [[ninja]].
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Nuttykakarotto-Jesse.jpg|Euro-trash.
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Intonjutsu.jpg|[[Goth]],[[German]], [[Wtf]]???
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Lady_Sooz.jpg|Oink oink [[pig]]gy!!!
Image:Tibia Manbearpig.jpg|[[Manbearpig]] hunted on the lands of Tibia.
Image:Angeredbeast.jpg|[[Manbearpig]] plays tibia as Lady Sooz.
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Yung_Dro.jpg|These fellows are testing the hypothesis that if you pray hard enough your character will get free xp.
Image:Tibia Male Camwhore.jpg|Example of a male [[camwhore]].
Image:Tibia_rl_pics_Anna_Mossity.jpg|[[Goth]]+[[Internet Disease]]=Crisis.
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Nuttysamurai_aka_Nutty_2.jpg
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Motter_Tektura.jpg|No Santa! Don't touch me there!
Image:Tibia_rlpics_Sam_Wise.jpg
Image:Tibia kids party.jpg|A mighty guild in Dolera trying to earn money for their Tibia Premium 
Image:Tibia Ucker.jpg|People will perform oral sex on each other for protection.
Image:Tibia Sexy Gangsta.jpg|Another Tibian [[gangsta]] pimpin hoes. 
Image:Tibia weirdos.jpg|[[Fag]]s outside the world of Tibia.
Image:Tibia DelChaos GreenCard.jpg|Most [[Mexicans]] will do anything to cross the border.
Image:Tibia homo.jpg|Another [[homo]] playing tibia
Image:Jkrunes.jpg|What does this kid do when he gets back from Marines? TIBIA!!! [[moar]] TIBIA!!
Image:Tibia_sucks1.JPG|The truth WONT set you free in Tibia!
Image:Tibia_pedobear.png|[[Camwhore|Game Master]] lieks [[Pedobear]]
Image:Ug 2cock.jpg|Typical Tibia black person [[fag]] forum troll.
Image:Turtle whore.jpg|Another Tibia whore marked with her favorite botting area.
Image:Tibia tards.jpg|Retards are a large part of Tibia population.
Image:ShowTibia.jpg|The newest version. Comes with your personal Carebear.
Image:Thebrinvasion.png| [[Truth| This is an accurate depiction of Tibia's gameplay.]]
</gallery>

== External links ==
*[http://www.tibia.com Homepage for this dogshit game.]
*[http://phlog.net/user/dolerarlpics Actual pictures of the freaks who play the server Dolera. Hilarious.]

{{MMORPGs}}

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[[Category: Softwarez]]