View source for Patreon

[[File:Patrejew.png|right|200px]]
'''Patreon''' is an [[E-begging|online begging]]/money laundering website where unnoticed [[sellout]] artists and [[sick|furfags]] go to rob [[money]] from their affectionate fantards. Unlike [[PayPal]] or any other form of donations website, Patrons are expected to pay for the product before it is even made so that [[TheAmazingAtheist|fat fucks]] can put even less effort into making it. What makes this the king of Jew schemes is that all donations take the form of monthly payments, making it the perfect supplement to [[food stamps]].

The site has also been a big attraction to fat freckled faced Sonicfags, feminist con artists, porn artists, and [[sick fuck|sick fucks]] who also love to suck cock for $$$. It's also a good place to play keep-away with [[lolcows]] by promising to give them money and then backing out at the last moment.

==Ethical Practices==
[[File:Tsepareon.jpg|thumb|left|130px|People already using their logo for preggo porn]]
Patreon charges people 15% of the money that is donated to them for acting like a glorified delivery service. They literally do nothing besides make bank transfers while raking in more of a cut than a [[Jew|Hollywood agent]]. And when they aren't robbing people blind, they're working hand-in-hand with known con artists to help them try and do the same. In particular serial [[rapist]]s [[Brianna Wu]] and [[Zoe Quinn]], alongside [[meth]] addict [[Randi Harper]] have allegedly convinced Patreon to make up contrived excuses to ban people they dislike... or so Wu claims. However, this is the same Brianna Wu who once posted "proof" of filing a restraining order against [[ParkourDude91|a person that doesn't exist]], so she probably did virtually nothing and is now trying to take credit.

Either way, while sites like [[ED]] and [[8chan]] got banned (neither of us lost any money over it), the [[ToS]] is selectively enforced, so that people like [[over 9000]] incest porn cartoonists and [[Shanley Kane]] get to keep their accounts despite Patreon admitting that they are in clear violation. Some might come to the mistaken conclusion that Patreon has been taken over by [[SJW]]'s, but in reality, Patreon refused to ban ''[[The Sarkeesian Effect]]'' and would probably let [[Boko Haram]] use their services as long as no one complains, rather than willingly forgo any of their precious shekels. That's because Patreon is run by something worse than SJWs, greedy Jews.
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==="So, how do I use Patreon?"===
[[File:Shanonpatreon.png|thumb|right|200px|Despite admitting that [[Shanley Kane]] violates their rules, the account has not been banned (go report her more]]
Simple, you just make an account promising to create [[OC|content]] if people financially support you and then create it. However, that won't actually get you any money. The right way to earn money on Patreon is to do the exact opposite. IE: create some kind of content until you gather up enough [[gullible]] fans and then promptly stop doing anything once you get enough supporters to have your rent regularly paid.

Or you could just make [[porn]].

You see, actual good artists don't make '''any''' money on Patreon. But if you are willing to draw [[CP|8 year old cartoon characters from children's TV shows being fucked in the ass by their dad]], you'll be swimming in it. You don't even have to be good! As long as you draw ''something'' there will be enough autistic [[manchildren]] that will pay you as long as they get to [[fap|jerk off]] to some [[MS Paint]] drawn [[tits]]. Or just draw it [[furry]]. Since furries have yet to discover the wonders of going [[outside]], enough of them are glued to their computer screen, thinking about which kind of [[doge|dog]] they would most like to fuck, that they can easily pay your wage.

However, since furries are lifelong unemployables and always running out of NEETbux, they have created [https://yiff.party/ '''a backdoor site.'''] Through this, they can download whatever fucked-up degenerate zoopr0n they want from Patreon, without ever paying the creator a red cent. As of December 2018, Patreon doesn't seem to care about this [[Neologism|para-site,]] and it would appear that none of the creators have cottoned on either.  

The third way to make money on Patreon is professional victimhood.

Simply send a [[Internet death threats|death threat]] to yourself on [[twitter]] and then [[screencap]] it (remember to log back in to your real account and wait a few seconds so it doesn't look too obvious like it did when [[Anita]] [https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/c/ca/Anita_Death_Threats_V_Version.jpg did it)] and watch the money roll in. That is, unless you're a [[god|white male]]. But it's sure to work if you're <s>black</s> <s>Asian</s> <s>Hispanic</s> <s>Jewish</s> <s>crippled</s> <s>dying</s> a [[woman]].

Because [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|SJWs don't actually care about minorities]], this [[scam]] only works for women and the only people who donate to them are [[white knights]]. However, if you're not a woman and still want to profit off of this, simply do what [[Laurelai]] did and say you're a [[tranny]]. You don't actually have to get diagnosed or have surgery or anything, just grow out your hair a little and make no attempt of looking any less like a man whatsoever. If anyone complains you can accuse them of denying your identity and say you're the kind of tranny who's a different gender inside but doesn't need to act on it outwardly (that's a real fake thing on [[Tumblr]] right now), then respond to all future allegations of [[fraud]] with claims of [[harassment]]. That way you might still not get any money from SJWs, but you'll be able to make a good profit off of the same white knights that would support women, but happen to also like [[Dickgirls|dick girls]].
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==How to Troll Patreon==
[[File:Wepatreon.jpg|thumb|frame|right|What happened in a nutshell]]
* Pledge to donate with [[poor|money you don't have]] so that every month they are disappointed when no money gets through from your rejected credit card.
* Promise to donate an absurd amount of money to someone you don't like, only to withdraw your support a day before the money is to be charged. This has the added bonus of pissing off the trolls who hate this person by making them think a lolcow that they hate is about to get a lot of money, allowing you to participate in the time-honored tradition of [[trolls trolling trolls]]. <small>(like what happened to [[Brianna Wu]] when someone pledged [[over 9000|$10,000]] to his Patreon and then [[lulz|cancelled his account shortly before the money was about to come through]].)</small>
* Donate the smallest possible amount of money so you can [[rickroll]] users and post links to [[goatse|shock sites]]. Also scrape all the content off the site for kemono.party so anons can access their [[nudes]] [[I did it for the lulz|for the lulz]]. There are other sites that allow you to do this, but kemono.party is the most commonly used one, you just go to the [https://kemono.party/importer import tool] and give them your [https://kemono.party/importer/tutorial session key].  Wait until it is done and then remove your pledge - DONE!

====KickStarter/IndieGoGo Variation====

KickStarter and IndieGoGo are even more susceptible to this sort of troll.

What you do is: Find a project that you want to fuck up, pledge almost the entire amount needed to fund it, and withdraw your pledge a day before completion. This works best with projects that have only started, and is particularly lulzy because it may convince potential donors that the project has already been funded and there is no need to contribute. This way, when you finally revert your pledge, the entire thing will be too late to save and will crash along with the creator's hopes and dreams.

== People who use Patreon ==
[[File:Screenshots 20150201 124738.png|thumb|right|250px|Example: PieGuyRulz, a manchild who begs his friends for money without uploading videos using artwork made by [http://ohemgeeitsern.deviantart.com/gallery/ someone else.]]]
* [[Feminist]]s who are shinning examples of independence.
* [[Atheist]]s  whose shamelessness proves that there is no God.
* [[Tranny|Trannies]] who threaten suicide every other day.
* Washed up [[Video Game Reviewer]]s.
* [[Aspierations|Aspiring]] [[FanFic Critic#The Net Dwellers and Manic Expression|Internet reviewers]] that nobody watches.
* [[Furfag|Furry]] artists, [[porn]] artists and [[Yiff|furry porn]] artists.
* [[Con]] artists.
* [[Alt-right]]

==Patreon Accounts Worth Supporting==

# <s>'''[[8chan]]</s> Nope.''' Got banned, and when Patreon asked hotwheelz to come back he told them to fuck off because now he gets his money from [[2ch]].
# <s>'''[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]]</s> NOPE.''' Spent about a year openly antagonizing them before creating our own donation server that works exactly like Patreon a week prior to getting banned over the "[[Niggers]]" article. Everyone moved, we didn't lose any money and now we don't even have to give those [[Jews]] 15%.
# Red Letter Media?, '''LOL, NO.'''
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==Model Patreon Citizens==
<center>{{morphquote|patreontosquotes|background-color: lightgray;|font-weight: bold;
|Patreon is not for pornography, but some of the world’s most beautiful and historically significant art often depicts nudity and sexual expression. Because of that, we allow nudity and suggestive imagery, as long as it is marked NSFW. Think of the policy as allowing “R Rated” movies... but not porn. In keeping with our strong commitment to safety, we have zero tolerance for content that sexualizes children in any way.|[https://www.patreon.com/guidelines Patreon Community Guidelines]
|While we understand your commitment to free speech, we will not allow 8chan to continue using Patreon, as several boards facilitate the distribution of harmful content and activity, such as illustrated child exploitation imagery.  Other violations include facilitating the promotion and/or encouragement to commit self harm, and facilitating the promotion and/or encouragement of pedophilia practices. While we are aware that illustrated child exploitation imagery is not illegal in the United States, we take a strict stance, regardless of the law, on the usage of Patreon to fund or facilitate its distribution.|[http://pastie.org/9793622 Patreon's cancellation letter to 8chan]
|You hereby represent and warrant to Patreon.com that Your Information...will not infringe any third party's copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret or other proprietary right or rights of publicity or privacy...will not be defamatory, libelous, unlawfully threatening, or unlawfully harassing...will not be obscene or contain child pornography or be harmful to minors...|[https://www.patreon.com/legal Patreon Terms of Use]
|After creating a Patreon page, any Creator caught in the act or convicted of making credible violent threats, committing violent crimes, malicious doxing, coordinating nonviolent harm such as fraud, or encouraging others to do the aforementioned harmful activities may be banned from using Patreon.|[https://www.patreon.com/guidelines Patreon Community Guidelines]
}}</center>

* '''Sakimi Chan''', $33,569.50 per two weeks. The highest paid account on Patreon. Draws her [http://chrisoatley.com/fan-art/ own original characters] like Poison Ivy from Batman, Kiki from ''Kiki's Delivery Service'', Rosalina from Mario, Riku from ''Kingdom Hearts'', Elsa from ''Frozen'', Ariel from ''The Little Mermaid'', the squid girl from ''Splatoon'', [https://www.patreon.com/posts/ryuko-mako-yuri-3252060 the underage girls from ''Kill la Kill'' fondling each others' exposed bodies], the cast of ''Naruto''... and of course, [https://www.patreon.com/posts/makoto-x-haru-19-3230635 men fucking each other in the ass].

[[File:BreedingSeasonLoli.png|200px|thumb|right|Yeah, sure you are.]]
* <s>'''Breeding Season'''</s> '''CANCELLED''', $38,190.20 per month. One of the highest paid accounts on Patreon. A poorly made Flash game where you force <s>animals</s> furries of differing size and species to have sex while you watch, before fucking them yourself. The first screen of the game lets you pick whether you'll see [[Homosexuals|male-on-male sex]], [[Lesbian|female-on-female sex]], [[Futa|hermaphroditic animals]], [[Pedophilia|animals exhibiting neoteny]], and of course, straight up [[Beastality|feral animals]]. A few screens later you can buy bottles of animal jizz from a loli shopkeeper. Has been in development [http://www.legendofkrystal.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2954 for more than {{age|2013|01|08}} years], yet each update of this 12MB game somehow has even less content than the last. In the same amount of time Japan has made [http://www.dlsite.com/maniax/work/=/product_id/RJ122605 complete games that are objectively better in every way].
:For $10 you can get the debug passwords, which are currently "iknowwhereyouliveanon" (gallery), "youthinkidontknow.X" (money), "butireallydo.X" (guild points), and "addenergy.X" (energy), where X is a number over 9000. The most current backer version is [http://eye.swfchan.com/search/?q=Breeding+Season at the bottom of this page].
::[http://breedingseasongame.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/breeding-season-is-over-s-purple-has.html?zx=ec5a52fe562f3e56 It's been cancelled after their art director took 190 grand of the projects money to start his own project and abandon Breeding Season entirely also relinquishing use of his artwork due to the legal rights afforded to him under his contract which let him retain rights to his artwork.] {{archive|Nog9v}}


* '''SwimsuitSuccubus''', <s>$1,493.35</s>$1,644 per week (<s>$5,973.40</s>$6,576 per month). A [[whore|swimsuit model]] who has decent [[boobs]] but will never do [[nudes]] (allegedly). 

* '''[[Shanley Kane]]''', $1,692 per three weeks. Feminist, [[USI]] sufferer. [http://theralphretort.com/wp-content/uploads/1111Selection_669.png Doxed a reporter], which [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Shanonpatreon.png Patreon flat out agreed was a violation of its ToS]. Account [https://www.patreon.com/modelviewculture still exists a year later].

* '''''Star Fox the Animated Series''''', $1,584 per month. Not made by Nintendo. Totally legal guiz, it's a "noncommercial parody fan project". Because being paid a livable wage to make [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_JS0x4Mgzk this autistic mess] makes it noncommercial, or a parody. Was [[Cease_and_Desist|C&D]]'d by Nintendo years ago, long before the maker decided to make money off of it.

* '''[[Shadman]]''', $1,524 per month. Has drawn [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Patreaonporn.jpg 10-year-old Dash from Pixar's ''The Incredibles'' fucking his mother], [http://www.shagbase.com/wonder-bitch/ Superman's dog Krypto fucking Wonder Woman], [http://www.shadbase.com/sleepover-page-3 underage girls exploring each others' bodies], [[guro|among other wonders]].

* '''HungrySuccubus''', $1077.01 per month. [https://s3.amazonaws.com/patreonf/b9898e14ced5d8bd08d67b8ff2d36f6c.png Furry vore fetish artist]. Account subtitle: "There can never be enough porn in the world, amirite?"

* '''SadisticIrony''', $1,064.01 per game update. Makes RPG Maker hentai games. Out of four games, four are described using the word "rape". Three are described as having "some loli", the other "general offensiveness".

* '''Aesir''', $1,048 per month. "I do [http://aryion.com/g4/view/296548 fun, energetic] [http://aryion.com/g4/view/281688 fetish art] from [http://aryion.com/g4/view/277946 vore] and [http://aryion.com/g4/view/284479 futa] to ''more mundane things like S&M!''"

* '''leave2gether''', $829 per month. Shitty Flash game with [https://www.patreon.com/posts/small-update-14-1693294 furries molesting women in an office setting] while spewing Engrish at each other. Despite stiffly tweened models and a codebase ripped from some medieval fantasy game, and nine months passing from its inception to version 0.06 (the latest version's sole difference being "eye emotions"), it has raised enough money to cover rent and living expenses in most areas. For a pledge of $10 you can get the gallery password. It's "Gallery".

* '''Precia''', $371 per two weeks. Makes drawing tutorials, like [http://precia-t.deviantart.com/art/Children-tutorial-patreon-522900562 how to draw naked children].

* '''StudioPirrate''', $580 per month. Drew this [https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/9/94/Patrecrap2.png highly realistic image of a fat, preadolescent boy fucking Wonder Woman, complete with cutaway view of his chubby little dick spraying its cream inside her pastry hole]. As well as [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Patrecrap0.png the high school girls from ''Kill la Kill'' being violated by dogs], and [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/File:Patrecrap1.png good old fashioned rape].

* '''Fetish Club''', $578 per month. S&M drawings with [https://www.patreon.com/posts/image-preview-2664593 strap-ons], [https://www.patreon.com/posts/image-preview-2452053 roughhousing] and [https://www.patreon.com/posts/2495421 making out with dogs].

* '''Derpibooru''', $519.06 per month. A website hosting all the [https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/27/966689/full.jpg horrendous] [https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/27/966655/full.png ''My''] [https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/26/966406/full.png ''Little''] [https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/26/966392/full.png ''Pony''] [https://derpicdn.net/img/2015/8/26/966354/full.jpeg porn] a manchild could ever wish for.

* '''iyumiblue''', $504 per month. Draws [https://www.patreon.com/posts/treasure-planet-2548841 cartoon men fucking each other in the ass].

* '''ANMA''', $501 per month. Draws [https://s3.amazonaws.com/patreon/633e3114a68ebe0ffc55ade73eb29402.jpg cartoon men fucking each other in the ass].

* '''1=2''', $409.01 per month. Draws [https://www.patreon.com/posts/june-03-2746328 nightmarish S&M scenes] starring [https://www.patreon.com/posts/july-02-3022561 suspiciously flat-chested girls].

* '''Smudge Proof''', $332 per month. ''My Little Pony'' artist with works such as [https://www.dropbox.com/s/9uvlbxpnszo9x6s/hole.png?dl=0 Twilight Sparkle with dick], [https://www.dropbox.com/s/rya1ynza8dob01f/kokoweb.png?dl=0 naked Nazi loli girl], [https://www.dropbox.com/s/rndpv1mwvisdiea/bonus1.png naked loli], [https://www.dropbox.com/s/fxp365cqt5z8rll/bonus2a.png another naked loli], and [https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/x0hzeftu9ojbxor/erk_web.png?dl=0 more sick pony shit].

* '''Sketchman''', $229 per month. Draws [https://omorashi.org/gallery/image/16544-kara-and-jodie-from-abdl-game-lafwirm/ characters wearing shit-filled diapers].

* '''Dolphpup''', $116 per month. "Dolphpup is creating [https://www.patreon.com/posts/speedpaint-3hrs-1658508 Erotic Artwork], [https://www.patreon.com/posts/pinned-ya-1770251 Pornography] and [https://www.patreon.com/posts/hey-private-room-2972069 Fetish illustrations]".

* '''Kroxco''', $110 per month. Hundreds of crappy 3D renders and drawings of Disney characters raping underage boys, like [https://www.patreon.com/posts/2987174 naked Aladdin holding a knife to Sora's throat], [http://kroxco.blogspot.mx/2015/07/blog-post.html?zx=df03d6dcc777c62d bestiality with Simba], [https://www.patreon.com/posts/2444009 ''Big Hero 6'' gay incest] and [https://www.patreon.com/posts/2-2445879 ejaculating Naruto with a dildo up his ass].

* '''Alioth Fox''', $86 per month. [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16148720/ Faggotry] focused on [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15935045/ furries] wearing [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16810584/ diapers], with a {{archive|z4Pj0|hint of pedophilia}}.

* '''The Weight Is Over''', $60 per month. Draws [https://www.patreon.com/posts/big-bellied-2302969 disgusting fat slobs], [https://www.patreon.com/posts/husky-breeding-2382687 disgusting fat furries], and [https://www.patreon.com/posts/pokebreeder-twio-2148859 furries fucking disgusting fat slobs], with a side order of [https://www.patreon.com/posts/nighttime-2457764 wishful thinking].

* '''Areg5''', $52 per month. Makes mind-boggling 3D renders of [http://www.ararchive.com/gallery3/index.php/areg5/My-Date-with-Emily?page=9 sexual scenes involving infants].

==Quality Patreon Content==

[[File:patreonexample1.png|center|510px]]

While honorable organizations like ED and 8chan.net are banned per request of overweight feminists, here is some of the stuff that ''does'' meet Patreon's meticulous standards, including but not limited to [[CP]], [[bestiality]], [[incest]] and [[rape]]. [[EDF2|Someone]] has taken the liberty of transforming some of these examples into advertisements for the site, which you can feel free to spread around.

{{frame|{{cg|Patreon user posters|EDFg|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Patreaonporn.jpg
File:patreonexample.png
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File:Patrecrap.png
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</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Patrecrap1.png
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File:More patreon crap.jpg
</gallery>}}|border=white|background=#FF6600|margin=auto}}

==The great Patreon Jew-out of 2017==

Near the end of good 'ole 2017, the goblins in charge of patreon were presented with a serious problem: even though nearly everyone and their grandma was supporting some hack "creators" on Patreon, it still wasn't making enough profit to satisfy the [[jews|venture capitalists]] who provided that succulent dough needed to kickstart the whole thing in the beginning (and the fact that Kickstarter was kickstarting (lol) their own patreon analogue - Drip in 2018 also was a factor). With the jew-*khm*, investors breathing down their necks, the trolls in charge of patreon made a [[fail|brilliant]] business decision: starting Dec. 18 2017, all your [[Jewgold|pledges]] will be saddled with additional 2.9% and $0.35 fee each (the caveat "each" here is important). This may not sound like much for [[Poor|peasants]] supporting only one or two creators, but an asshat with [[Unlimited Disposable Income|unlimited disposable income]] will find that, for example, the cost of supporting 10 creators with 1$ each will climb from $10.64 to $13.80, and supporting creators with bigger pledges will naturally increase the amount of money that gets sucked out of your wallet every month. This naturally rustled many jimmies as the whole "point" of Patreon was that group pledges would not be charged with fees individually and thus would be less expensive than other similar services. 

For more technical, but still short and concise explanation refer to: https://twitter.com/cwbuecheler/status/938787629738397696
  
So to summarise - [[Shit|Patreon]] needs more money because it's [[Fail|unprofitable]] and [[Jews|investors]] are being greedy fucks. This additional profit will be procured via [[Steal|increased pledge fees]] that will take money from both creators and patrons alike. This in turn will likely get Patreon [[Anal lex|buttfucked]] as services like Kickstarter, Paypal and/or entirely new ones will draw away the customer base from by then tanking Patreon.

== See also ==
[[File:Patrenope.png|right|200px]]
*[[Jewgold]]
*[[E-begging]]
*[[Ela Thier]]
*[[Niggers]]
*[[Brianna Wu]]
*[[The Sarkeesian Effect]]
*[[Only 2 percent]] - The amount of money that will actually end up reaching you if you use Patreon
*[[Hypocrisy]] - It seems like it was only yesterday that ED was banned from Patreon for violating community guidelines
*[[Vicki Sigh]]

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{{Timeline|Featured article May 5 & 6, [[2015]]|[[æ-tan]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[Baltimore]]}}