View source for Cylon

{{Notice|''This article is about the fictional machines (and later meatbags) who either want to nuke us or seduce us. For the humans who believe we are actually reincarnated from various alien political prisoners, see [[Scientology|Scilons]].''}}

[[Image:Outofwork.jpg|thumb|Does not actually make toast.]]

'''Cylons''' were [[robot]] soldiers developed by Universal Studios to menace tourists in a theme park ride capitalizing on the success of [[Star Wars]]. They went on to have key roles as antagonists in multiple series collectively called "Battlestar Galactica", where their catchphrase "[[BDSM|By your command]]" worked its way into popular culture. 



== Cylons in the original series (AKA "Battlestar Ponderosa") ==

Walking chrome toasters who spoke in a buzzing electronic voice and were noted for their distinctive eye-sensor light. 

Contradictory source materials sometimes claim that these robots were created by a three-brained race of reptilian aliens, but the series itself is hopelessly confused as to whether said aliens still control the Cylon forces or not.

== Cylons in the re-imagined series ==
[[Image:Bsg-valerii-1.jpg|thumb|No word on whether this model comes in chrome....]]
The Twelve Colonies of Humanity originally created the Cylons for work in hazardous situations, such as mining. Eventually, [[Dick Cheney]] got the idea to send them off to fight in inter-Colonial conflicts as well. When the machines inevitably revolted, a ruinous war followed, culminating in an armistice and the Cylons leaving to find a homeworld of their own.

Over the next 40 years, they developed various new models, culminating in RealDoll. They returned to Colonial space, with [http://en.battlestarwiki.org/wiki/Fall_of_the_Twelve_Colonies hilarious results]. After nuking and occupying the city of [[Vancouver]] on Caprica, they then embarked on a complicated plan to make hybrid babies by seducing downed pilots.

== Cylon in Ancient Greece ==
Cylon ([[Moonspeak|Κύλων]]) was an [[Kittens|ancient Greek]] who was involved in the Cylonian affair, which involved him and several other cylons who had more inconspicuous names, such as "6" and "7". When it was found out that they wanted to destroy us, the Athenian government decide to destroy him. At this point, he tried to overthrow the government and become a tyrant.  That didn't go well— he was quickly thwarted and killed. He was, however, good at making toast.

{{needsmore|cowbell}}

{{Television}}