View source for India

[[Image:sadhu.jpg|thumb|200px|Modern India]]
[[Image:IndianToilet.jpg|thumb|200px|How to use Indian Toilet]]
[[Image:madarchod.jpg|thumb|200px|NO U]]
{{blink|#24272B|200%|DOT, NOT [[Injuns|FEATHER]]}}

'''India''' (Also Known as '''The Place Where You Get Off The Plane and Immediately Scream, "OMG! WTH? It Smells Like Fucking Shit!"''') is a subcontinent in South [[Asia]] shaped like an [[old people|old man]]'s nose, known by Westerners for its shitty movie industry named [[Hollywood|Bollywood]], curry, doctor mills, elephants, [[pagans]], trippy artwork, [[Gandhi]], paki shops and the ever so helpful [[telemarketers]]. [[Jon Stewart]] warns others from visiting India (in his book "Democracy"), where you can catch any diseases that ever killed anyone.

[[some argue|Some]] regard India as an exotic and distant land whose [[At least 100 years ago|ancient history]] is full of myth, wonder, and beauty.  In reality, the history of India is a history of conquest - as in being ''subject'' to conquest. Over the millenia, various empires have [[rape|had their turn]] at India-- Alexander the Great; Genghis Khan; various Muslim conquistadors to the west; [[China]] started up shit once or twice; and of course, [[England]], who decided to [[dicking|stick around]] after trying out some of the [[tea]]. 

Interestingly, while most countries gain their independence by churning out an eager generation of [[terrorists|freedom fighters]], India managed to shake off the yoke of the British empire [[irony|due in large part to an old man in a toga]]. Of course this is bullshit, because [[liberals]] love metaphorically rimjobbing Gandhi and his legacy but often forget to mention the shitloads of people the British killed ([[lol|with Indian troops]]) cos they weren't gonna fight back, or the fact that India was already [[niggers|descending into anarchy and riots whenever there was an opportunity]]. Finally when India did gain its own sovereignty, which was largely due to the British [[WW2|running out of ammunition and money]], so too did [[Pakistan]]. The two countries have been in a perpetual [[flamewar|pissing contest]] over everything from [[religion]] to just plain [[trolling]] ever since.
[[Image:Gandhi_1947.jpg|right|thumb|Gandhi]]

India is one of the few countries in the world with the distinction of having [[WMD|nukes]]. Then again, so does Pakistan, which is a lot more [[Islamic]], and a lot less [[alcohol|fun]]. Naturally, the [[lulz|underlying nature]] of their rivalry becomes clearer when you consider that they were the '''same''' country 60 years ago, and that most of the [[drama]] between the two of them is over them both claiming a stretch of worthless, uninhabitable mountains in the name of [[USI|national pride]]. Thus calling an Indian a [[Paki]] is akin to calling a [[Jew]] an [[Arab]]. It is therefore, an extremely good source of [[lulz]]. Also having the dubious honor of sharing a border with India is [[SNCA|Bangladesh]], who India liberated from Pakistan only to look down upon it like a retarded [[retard|step child]]. Then there's [[China]], who [[zerg rush]]ed (seriously, they didn't [[Spanish Inquisition|see it coming]]!) India in the 60s and took a [[serious business|chunk of territory the size of Switzerland]], which India is still [[butthurt]] over. So all in all, one can say India has [[dying alone|good relations with its neighbors]].  

Currently India's most severe problem is a continuing health catastrophe caused by the fact that poor people [[shit|defecate]] all over everything because there aren't enough toilets ([http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=aErNiP_V4RLc&refer=home srsly]). This can happen to any once-proud culture after being sufficiently raped by the forces of [[Jews|predatory economic globalization]].

Of course, India is also the world leader in [[tech support]], so it must first solve the problems of confused [[Americans|midwesterners]] who can't figure out what the hell is wrong with their computers before it can even think of solving its own. Its massive workforce must sit in waist-deep muddy water and try to figure out why some [[redneck]] can't get his [[internet]] to work while fending off basketball-sized rats, all between malaria-induced seizures.

The Indian [[Army|armed forces]] are greatly respected by the general public in India. Every year, [[over 9000]] women in India [[asking for it|offer]] themselves to the troops as a sign of respect. 
[[Image:Indian-army-rape-us.jpg|center|thumb|Time to join the Indian Army!]]

Indians love comparing themselves to their big brother, China, and think that they are better. In reality however, China rapes India at [[everything]]. Everything. Their economy is 4 times bigger than India's, and their average citizen earns 3 times as much. They have 200 million more people, which means that they can [[zerg rush]] a country much better. Chinese people beats Indians in school grades, video games, sport performance, mass production, and business. China has a longer and more prosperous history, being the world's superpower at least 3 times ([[Why do you hate America?|and they are on their way for the 4th time]]). India, on the other hand, has either been split into multiple tiny countries that fight on a daily basis, or been conquered by stronger countries looking for a large, cheap labor force. However, India is distinguished from China by democratic government, having freedom of press, and embracing the concept of universal civil rights, [[no|but are those really something to be proud of?]]. India also has a larger [[Drugs|pharmaceutical industry]], more historic contributions to mathematics, and is responsible for originating [[Buddhism]], one of the greatest cultural elements in the history of China's civilization.

INDIA [[FTW]]

One of the travel video shows how shitty india actually is. Delicious indian cake at 9:10 of the video.

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== Bollywood after First Gulf War  ==
[[Image:Smack.gif|thumb|right|[[Typical]] Indian moviegoers.]]
[[File:Indian movies.gif|thumb|State of the art special effects]]
It is by order of Allah (Azn mod), that every Bollywood film MUST feature [[women]] with [[hirsute|too much body hair]] (arms, lips, [[etc]]), [[men]] who look [[white|western]] enough to [[Unrealistic expectations|maybe crossover into mainstream media]], and both sexes singing [[truth|piss-poor songs]]. [[sex|Physical contact]] and [[naked|unclothed flesh]] must never be seen, [[OH NOES]]! Suprisingly, these drawbacks do not affect Bollywood (Gollywoggywood, [[amirite?]]) viewing figures, and they consistently draw crowds of up to 14 [[paki|people]]. 

Bollywood is a the Indian equivalent to [[Hollywood]] if you haven't already figured that out (PROTIP: [[obvious|It's a portmanteau of Bombay and Hollywood]]). If you thought that Hollywood was suffering from the same old unoriginal, [[plagiarism|plagiarized]], recycled, boring, banal, retarded, melodramatic, predictable, cookie cutter, PG-13 films - than you may be grateful that, at least, it's no where near as bad as Bollywood films. Vast majority of indian movies are rip offs of hollywood movies. On the bright side, many lulz can be had (even if they are for the wrong reasons). 

[[Image:ETripoff.jpg|thumb|This are original film, DO NOT STEAL.]]

[[Image:bollywood_movie_script.jpg|thumb|right|[[Typical]] Bollywood script. Also reflects why these cockroaches are able to multiply so quickly.]]
Another totally [[not gay|NOT gay]] scene from Bollywood. This is an Indian parody of outright stupid Indian films in general, but the film itself was ironically no better. Apparently [[irony|this also ripped off from a Swedish film]]: <br /> 

Indian actresses and actors are best known for their horrible acting and fake American wannabe accent. Indian actresses are [[whores]] who get paid to wear slutty outfits and provide good [[pr0n|fap material]] to nerdy Indians. Basic qualifications to become a professional actor in Bollywood are having no talent, a fake American accent, and a face that attracts illiterate Indian whores and [[fags]].[[Image:Rani_sucking_cock.jpg|thumb|Secret behind the success of indian actresses]]

==When Indians Play Pop Music==
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==When Indians Plagiarize Pop Music==
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==When Indians organise X-Factor==
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== Trivia & Other Useless Facts ==

{{quote|These cocky contortionists aren't just a threat to our convenience stores back in America.  There's an even bigger threat looming on the horizon... the food.  Dwayne, I've been here for 24 hours, and I can tell you, Indian food is pureé [[terrorism]], resulting in gut-wrenching ass explosions that make you feel like you're shitting fire!|Chuck Summers, reporter from [[Grand Theft Auto]]- Vice City Stories}}

{{quote|Dear Friends.................
 
                                    Proud to be an Indian and just think How much we have missed from this country. Lets all take think about acquiring knowledge all over the world and return back to our homeland and work to take it back to its fallen thrown........................

-- 
உங்கள் ஆருயிர் நண்பன்,
அனித்  ராஜன் 
[attachment "india.pps"]
| Anith Rama-something chained copypasta, showing off Indian Pride by using traditional Indian Software - Microsoft Powerpoint}}

[[Image:Homerasganesh.gif|thumb|right|Hindu gods are [[serious business]].]]

*Indians [[Fact|worship monkeys]].

* The Indus valley is now mainly in Pakistan, so India tried to claim they had a more ancient civilization that was conveniently in India.

*Indians accept that they are Asian when it is about [[math]] but not when it is about [[My Tiny Dick|penis size]].

*Indians eat insects, snakes, monkey brains, eels, etc. Check out Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you'll see.

*Indians think their accent is cool, but everyone else know that it is just a source of [[lulz]].

*Despite being a country where one third of the population suffers from [[poverty]], India has some of the worst food in the world. Even curry is the national dish of [[Britain]] (yeah, [[sarcasm|and everyone knows how good the Brits are at choosing food]]), though most of the white English natives who eat it would like to [[Mexico|deport]] all the minorities anyway.

*India, like the Chinese, have their own amazing [[retarded|"traditional"]] [[scam|medicine]], known as Ayurvedic medicine, notable for introducing the world to [[lolwut|mercury and lead based medicines]].

*Also like China, India boasts a population of over [[over 9000|1 billion]] people. However, because most of the [[marriage]]s there are prearranged by the families, there is automatically no passion and love to begin with, unlike in a regular marriage when you realize that after turning fat and [[bald]].
 
{{quote|It is generally assumed that chess originated in India, 5-7 centuries after the birth of [[Christ]].}}

*Before [[Islam]] arrived and introduced the concept of shame to India, Indians were disgustingly shameless heathens and actually wrote the [[sex|Kamasutra]], which isn't a cook book in case [[virgin|you]] didn't know. Note: The Kamasutra is about more than sex.

* The four great principles of life are "Kama," or pleasure (broadly conceived - includes [[art]] and [[video games]]); "Artha" or [[greed|pursuit of wealth and social standing]]; "Dharma," or finding your [[unwarranted self-importance|life's destiny]] - religion and all that; and "Palma," or [[Fapping]].

* Indians believe in "dividuality" as opposed to western individuality. This means that when an Indian touches shit the bad in it transfers to him. This is the basis of the Caste system.

*India is the birthplace of [[gay|Yoga]] and is to blame for all those [[pretentious]] celebrities and yuppies who go to yoga classes and encourage "[[Goatse|stretching]]" instead of actual exercise, adding to the West's [[obesity]] epidemic.

*Indians are proud of and will often tell you that India invented the number [[zero]], though the irony in this is [[divide by zero|inconsequential]].

*Indians being non-white minorities outside India identify with [[black|hip-hop and rap culture]], and think adding S's and Z's after every word makes them coolerz, which makes for [[lie|awesome]] sounding nicknames such as Shazz(y), Jazz(y), Sams, Sazz, Kizz, Dipz etc.

*Liberals actually believe Gandhi and [[troll|civil disobedience]] liberated India. (PROTIP: The British had no bullets after [[pwning]] [[Hitler]].)

*[[Prostitution]] is legal in India [[irony|but pornography isn't]].

*All Indians are desperately afraid of anti-perspiration deodorant. Deodorant killed several Hindu gods and led to the domination of India by Muslims. Not wearing deodorant also allows an Indian to remember the delicious curry they had for dinner last night, as it seeps out of their pores.

*In India, they worship over 330 million different gods <i>Yet claim to be monotheistic</i> - they believe "all gods are aspects of Brahma", when their own mythology [[Irony|condemns people with that opinion]]. However, if none of them are for you, simply head on over to your nearest Make-Your-Own-God temple, where you get to decide what your god stands for, think up a name, decide how many arms it will have, and think up a bunch of [[moonspeak|new chants]] to appease it.

==India, Land of the Tiny Penis==
[[Image:Indian-threesome-slut.jpg|thumb|200px|Notice the disappointment in her face]]
Recent studies have shown that Indian men are [[small]]er in [[cock]] size than most of the world.  In fact, the [[micropenis|problem is so bad]] that [[condom]] companies had to manufacture a [[Forever Alone|smaller condom]] to prevent slippage and breakage. 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6161691.stm <--Article

==Indian women==
[[Image:Punam-pandey.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical Indian woman asking for it, not your mom]]
Indian [[Wimmin|women]] are forced to prevent from having sex until they get married. When they do they are forced to have sex with a tiny penis. This results in women engaging in prostitution to gain sexual pleasure. Which explains the high population and fast economy growth. If you're Indian,it is a fact that your dad has a tiny cock, and your mom is a prostitute.


==the brown plague==

An indian is typically a turd streak brown color and they usually speak like their tongue is glued to the top of their mouth with semen. They also have the reputation of smelling like absolute shit, and sweating curry after doing the simplest task. When talking to an indian you will be overwhelmed by the stench of shit coming from their mouth coupled with the fact they spit bits of curry when they speak. They also like chewing something called paan which they use to paint their roads and sidewalks with plus it looks like they're bleeding from their mouth so it's [[awwright]]. Overall an indian is a terrible beast to be around and must be avoided or else he'll make you lose your job at [[7-11]] and [[fail]] to answer your questions about your computer.

== National Sports ==
*[[Capitalism|Telemarketing]]
*Whinging
*Pissing Off Everybody
*Burning Effigies
*[[Crap]]ping Everywhere
*[[Diarrhea]]
*Raping Mad [[Cows]]
*Posting (Boasting) on the [[interwebz]]
*Taking Over Everything
*Coming to more civilized countries that aren't buried in ten feet of [[crap]] and raping everyone of their jobs
*Worshipping Elephants with [[fisting|20,000 Arms]]
*Applying bleaching cream

== How to troll Indians ==

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* Say anything good about [[Pakistan]], anything at all.
* Tell them they look like skinny [[Nigras]] with straight hair
* Tell them that IT superpower and cricket superpower were not original power levels until they invented them
* Ask them if they have access to toilets back home while simultaneously holding your nose, if they reply in the affirmative, ask them if they have heard of deodorants.
* Tell them Kashmir belongs to Pakistan.
* Tell them the British colonisation was the best thing to ever happen to India.
* Ask them their opinion of [[Hitler]] wait for their approval of him as a fellow Aryan before lulzily reminding them of his gassing of four lakh Gypsies from India.
* Ask them how Indra, God of Heaven, rode an Elephant through the clouds, when the Elephant clearly had no wings.
* Tell them there are hindu extremists.
* If you are in India, ask the nearest Indian where a burger joint and/or steakhouse is.
* Tell them their religion sucks so badly that most Indians would rather be [[Muslim]].
* Remind them that [[over 9000]] Bollywood actors don't look Indian at all
* Insist that their Caste system is worse than [[Apartheid]].
* Ask them why any sane person would reject a tasty cowburger.
* Ask if the world was created as a result of Kali (some Hindu goddess) fucking Shiva (some Hindu god) in his butthole with a strapon, and if so, how much lube they think it took.
* For people from the North of India: Suggest that Tamils (people from the south) are beautiful and intelligent and far more friendly than anyone from the North.
* Suggest that Pakistan is developing more quickly into a true modern nation. (This isn't true , but it pisses them right off nonetheless)
* Suggest that Urdu is an infinitely more beautiful language than Hindi.
* Ask them why Hindi isn't the national language.
* Ask them about "Shivlinga" and aboout them idolizing a dick of god shiva inside a vagina of godess parwati, and milk dropping representing cum. Shiva also had another affair with ganga and smoked weed all the time.
* Say India was such a shit country China gave it back (True story).
*Say Rama wasn't born in Aoyodia.

== Famous Indians or People of Indian Ancestry ==
*[[The Simpsons|Apu]]
*[[Tunak|Daler Mehndi]]
*[[Sanjaya]]
*[[Ghandi]], famous for marrying a 13 year old girl and no other reason
*[[Star Trek|Kahn Noonien Singh]]
*Deepak Chopra
*[[Freddie Mercury]], lead singer of [[Queen]] who [[pun|queened his way to the top]]
*[[Salman Rushdie]], trolled the entire Muslim world
*[[Animal_abuse#The Chinese|Sanjay Gupta]], American Surgeon General ''(see video)''
*The doctor that delivered you from your mother's insidious, malformed loins
*[[NawlinWiki|Bobby Jindal]]
*[[Your mother]]. That's right. She's a fucking-shit smelling Indian.

== Gallery of Indian Culture ==
{{Rainbowsmall|IT SMELLS LIKE FUCKING}}<br>
{{Rainbow|SHIT}}<br>

{{cg|INDIA!!!|Indiagall|center|<gallery>
Image:teresa.jpg|Pictured: An hero
Image:HHNNNNNNGGG.gif|M. N. Vijayan [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHhX4roeEco]
Image:Ganeshlol.jpg
Image:IndianLULZ.jpg|Brown people destroyed the [[scene]]
Image:Desigranny1.jpg|Vest saede burro!
Image:Laughing indian cop.jpg|While not well known, Indians do have a colorful sense of humor.
Image:bindi.jpg|An Indian woman with a 'bindi', otherwise known as a 'cum-target'.
Image:Moped india.jpg|Indians are dedicated to their work.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Eightlimbs.jpg|1 billion people - sex education X sporadic abortion clinics = [[lol wut]]
Image:Progeria.jpg|An Indian ventriloquist and his [[puppet]].
Image:Khajuraho-Lakshmana Temple erotic detal3.JPG|A Hindu temple before the Islamic barbarian invasions.
Image:Childbear.jpg|Could that be...? Surely not.
Image:Indianbus.jpg|Is that some sort of clown car? No it's Indian public transport.
Image:Apu.png|A role model to all Indian people because he runs a convenience store.
Image:Ironeyescody.jpg|[[Not to be confused with]] this kind of [[Native American|Indian]].
Image:vishnuonion.jpg|Connected
Image:indianstudents.jpg|A typical day in the life of Indian students
Image:indian_students.jpg|India distilled
Image:indian_rail.jpg|Indian Railways
Image:indian_railways.jpg|Indian Railways
Image:indian_rv.jpg|Indian Trailer
Image:soccer_fail.jpg|Indians love trees.
Image:GuardstickEPA_450x300.jpg‎ |Indian police Hobby
File:TypicalIndianGirls.jpg|India's huge drinking problem.
File:Buyerbeware.jpg|Bicycle disguised as a bike.
File:Callcentreind.jpg|Microsoft outsourced call centre.
File:Cowhorns.jpg|Boss Cow takes a whole fuckin lane.
File:Donkeyscanner.jpg|Pakistan terrorized the fuck out of India's main transport system.
File:Ganya_,ishlya,pakya,dhamya,chamya,chinkya.jpg|Ganya,ishlya,pakya,dhamya,chamya,chinkya on their 6 seater Luna motor-cycle.
File:Typicalindiandoctor.jpg|Senior Indian Doctor in a Intensive Care Unit.
File:Idealschool.jpg|How every Indian kid have been schooled - Driver goes for a quick paan(chewing tobacco).
File:Indbikie.jpg|How an Indian shows affection towards his wife.
File:Indianautowala.jpg|Busy Autowalah.
File:Indianponcho.jpg| Indian Poncho.
File:Jackieshroffhero.jpg| A shaggy hero of desi MILF's generation.
File:Jain_people_swine_flu.jpg|Jainism - A Swine Flu Ready religion.
File:Malegaon_ka_superman_(2).jpg| Malegaon's Malnutritioned Superman.
File:Shakti_Kapoor.jpg|Shakti Kapoor is known serial Rapist and a role model.
File:Typicalindianbikie.jpg|No Truck, No Problem.
File:Typicalrickshaw.jpg| Vimanika Shastra - A flying craft made after reading the ancient vedas.
File:Indian_shitfaced.jpg| Typical Indian after [[Shit|dinner]].

</gallery>}}

== See also ==
*[[Afghanistan]]
*[[Asia]]
*[[China]]
*[[Faking News]]
*[[HOW CAN SHE SLAP]]
*[[Jai Maharaj]]
*[[JiZZy: Pakistan]]
*[[Baby_Fuck#Mai-Chan.27s_Daily_Life_Replicated_in_India|''Mai-Chan's Daily Life'' Replicated in India]]
*[[Pakistan]]
*[[Ricki Raven]]
*[[ScriptLance]]
*[[Tunak]]
*[[White Castle]]
*[[Benny Lava]]

{{truth}}
{{Commonwealth}}


[[Category: Locations]]