View source for Mike Chitwood

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[[File:Mike Chitwood bra pic.jpeg|220px|left]]
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'''Mike Chitwood''', a.k.a. '''Kike Shitwood'''{{Jew}},  is a former [[Florida]] sheriff turned full-time [[Internet police]]man with a hate-boner for those [[4chan]] [[trolls]]. What separates him from most of the casuals is his ability to actually send those trolls to jail.

==Chitwood declares war on 4chan==
[[File:GDL highway banner.jpeg|220px|left]]
Beginning in [[2023]], Mike Chitwood rose to e-prominence by targeting users of [[4chan]]. It all started when the [[Goyim Defense League]] trolled the Daytona International Speedway by hanging [[funny|antisemitic]] banners over it, causing Mike Chitwood to dis them, causing 4chan nazis to post about their fantasies to kill him (in Minecraft, of course), causing many of them to get arrested and extradited to Florida so they could ride down the escalator of shame at the Florida airport where Chitwood could greet them personally at the bottom because Chitwood likes to get the last laugh. In fact, you don’t even need to necessarily threaten Chitwood's life to get on his shitlist; people like [[Richard Golden]] only suggested somebody should kill Mike Chitwood (in a video game no less) and still got a year's worth of jail time. Ultimately, Mike Chitwood views it as essential to crush the First Amendment because it allowed shit like the [[Payton Gendron|Buffalo Supermarket Shooting]]  to happen.

==Chitwood goes after the kids==

[[File:Minecraft don’t go to school meme.jpeg|thumb|left|Post this and the [[consequences will never be the same]].]]
Sometime in 2024, Chitwood began arresting and perp-walking kids for posting [[school shooting]] threats online. The department also made sure to release their face [[dox]]es and [[powerword]]s as a form of punishment through public humiliation via their “Naming and Shaming” policy; forever screwing up their future prospects just for sharing [[edgy]] [[memes]] online or having a dark and sordid sense of humor. This caused much butthurt among [[free speech]] advocates and [[columbiners]], although if any of them were serious about shooting up their school, than I guess you could just call it Natural Selection.

Since Chitwood and company gleefully released these kids' information to the public, we might as well cover some of them with their mugshots to boot as certificates of their badassery:

:''see also: [[High Score#Absolute Fucking Failures]]''
[[File:Carlo Dorelli mugshot.jpeg|right|250px]]
*'''Carlo "Kingston" Dorelli''' (11), Creekside Middle School
Jokingly showed off his arsenal of air soft guns, knives, swords and a hit list to his classmates through FaceTime calls, leading to his arrest on Sept. 16, 2024. Ironically, it was another 11-year-old boy that ratted him out who was involved in similar activities.
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[[File:Trinity Mack & Brayden Severance.jpeg|right|250px]]
*'''Trinity Mack & Brayden Severance''' (17 & 16), T. Dewitt Taylor Middle-High
Shortly after their school broadcasted an announcement warning students that all threats would be taken seriously and could lead to arrest, Trinity posted a picture of her school laptop on [[Snapchat]] captioned with “Imma shoot up the school”, Brayden commented “Same”, then they were both arrested on Sep. 18, 2024.

Perp walk video: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=505488772279311&vanity=sheriffchitwood&http_ref=eyJ0cyI6MTc2OTAzNjYxOTAwMCwiciI6Imh0dHBzOlwvXC93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbVwvIn0%3D
[[File:Kamden Taylor BUSTED.jpeg|thumb|Criminal scum right where he belongs.|250px]]
*'''Kamden Taylor''' (13), Riverview Learning Center
Arrested TWICE. Once on Sept. 27, 2024, for making a threat against somebody through his [[PlayStation]] and again in Feb. 6, 2025, because the AI overlords detected something he wrote on his school computer. 
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Hopefully, this gives you an idea of how absolutely minute some of these kids' offenses were and how Orwellian the justice response to it is.

And here's the rest of them:
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===Onideus Mad Hatter Saves The Kids===
Some time in 2025, the ever-prevalent [[lolcow]], [[Onideus Mad Hatter]], came to prominence once again after sending a death threat (if we are to use the word “threat” loosely) to Mike Chitwood and getting the whole escalator of shame treatment as a result of it. Apparently Mr. Onideus was upset with Chitwood's treatment of these children because their mugshots were being sourced into his [[AI art|AI-generated child pornography]] or something like that.


==Gallery==
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File:Richard Golden coming out.jpeg
File:Mike Chitwood 4chan meme.png
File:Richard Golden soyjak.png
File:Chitwood Merchandise.png
File:Richard Golden Fan Art 1.png
File:Richard Golden Fan Art 2.png
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==See Also==
*[[Joe Lieberman]] - a politician even more Jewey and anti-lulz than Chitwood is. He wants you arrested just for being [[Goth]] or playing [[DOOM]].
*[[Onideus Mad Hatter]] - one of his victims.
*[[Richard Golden]] - another one of his victims.

==External Links==
*{{Facebook|sheriffchitwood|His Facebook}}
*{{Twitter|SheriffChitwood|His Twitter}}
*{{Instagram|sheriffchitwood|His Instagram}}

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