View source for Twatter

{{achtung|[[Elon Musk|ELON MUSK]] BOUGHT TWITTER AND FIRED THE CENSORSHIP SQUAD!!111}}
[[File:riptwitterdeadbird.jpg|thumb|Goodnight sweet prince. You will not be missed.]]
{{quote|[http://twitter.com/JaylaStarr '''@JaylaStarr'''] g/g or [[b/g/g]]? Do you do [[buttsecks|anal]]? I would totally [[golden showers|pee on you]]!|[http://twitter.com/TiffanyMynx @TiffanyMynx]|Typical "tweet."}}

[[File:Twitter_-_Exit_Building.jpg|200px|right]]
[[File:Twitler.jpg|200px|right]]

'''Twitter''' (AKA '''Shitter''', AKA '''Your account is currently suspended. For more information, please visit Suspended Accounts'''), or as former [[President Obama]] called it, '''Twitter's''', is an outrage machine where highly sensitive people spend all of their time so they can get [[Crybaby|offended by everything]] and bully people into silence with death threats. Basically it's some [[retarded]] website where [[liberalism|left-wing]] [[transtrender|nonbinary]] [[furfag|furries]] with [[dying alone|no life]] and [[nigger|black]] [[NORP|normie]] [[socialist|socialists]] come together to [[circlejerk|jerk off]] about how much they hate [[Donald Trump]], all within the limits of 280 characters. Also partly because Trhump himself is on the thing. They hope he will notice, lolol. He won't.

''Truth'': '''Twitter''' is a [[Web 2.0]] site for [[fags]]/[[16-Year-old girl|dykes]], [[Begging|e-beggers]]/[[failed]] [[DeviantART|artists]], [[preteens]] and [[Retard|dingdongs]] who are too stupid to use [[IRC]], and need turn-based [[chat]] to play oppression olympics on. Typical Twitter users subject each other to a relentless [[voraphilia|feed]] of minutia in their otherwise meaningless lives, known as [[SNCA|tweets]], 24/7/365. Got a new job? Just drank a glass of [[cum|milk]]? Took a big [[shit]]? '''Tweet''' it!

[[TL;DR]]: [[LiveJournal]] on [[crack]]. (No wait, LJ died years ago.) Or maybe: [[Slack]] on [[roids]]. Yeah, that's the ticket.

==Users==

*News[[fag]]s show every single detail about the news and politics, and males [[fap|rubbing their male vulvas to]] [[Sand nigger|Barack Osama]], the one who caused [[9/11]], a fraction invented by some math geek.
*Adults just posting about how much they jack off to news or just like to go out and have orgies with their pussyboiz in prison
*Fucktarded [[Aspie|ASS-PIE]] teens with [[Ass burger|burgers in their ass]] making random tweets that make no fucking sense, bitching about their life because they got grounded for [[Bestiality|milking Fido]], tweets about how they hate school but don't even have the [[testicles]] to [[Punk|stand up and fight authority by skipping school]] like a bunch of [[hypocrite]]s they all now are, [[wtf|blocking people for no reason]], posting pictures of them and their friends doing retarded garbage ass shit, and following everyone but one person.
*Celebrities - SELLOUT!!!!!
*[[Shitposters]]

==Blocking==
[[image:Kneelslaves.jpg|250px|right|thumb|KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER, FILTHY HIPSTER SCUM]]
===Why you're blocked===
* You owned them
* You scare them
* [[For the lulz]]
* For disagreeing (examples: ResetERA, Anita Sarkeesian, etc.)
...and most commonly...
* They have NO reason

==How to still see your shit==
You can see their stuff, but can't look up statuses for tweets, favoriting their tweets, and following them.
*Logging out or using incognito mode
*Make a new account
*Impersonate someone else to fool them with a sock account
*If they are private, impersonate someone and they will accept your request, otherwise hack someone's twitter to see their tweets or get their allowance to use it
*Force them to unblock you (CHALLENGE!)

==Apps==
[[File:twittershit.jpg|250px|thumb|Typical look at recent entries page.]]
For being such a [[Truth|boring]] and [[Web 2.0|useless]] website, Twitter has [[over 9,000]] apps to waste space on your harddrive. Examples below.

* twhirl - Stupid-looking waste of space.
* netvibes - Don't expect to know what this website even does.
* twitterific (more like Shiterific, [[amirite]])- Hmmm...[[stupid|post on the website for free, or buy a program to do the same shit for $15US?]]
* twitterfox - A [[Firefox]] plug-in. If Firefox is even open, it should take a few seconds to update with or without the plug-in.
* twit - Named after those who download it. Only for [[weeaboos]].
* twitterfeed - [[No|Semiuseful]] service for getting RSS feed items to a twitter account. 
* tinytwitter - Boring.

For some reason, [[facepalm|these are all really popular]].

[[PROTIP]]: Avoid the above apps and spend your money on [[Linux for Niggers|something more useful]].
{{clear}}

==Entries==
Since Twitter is basically a [[Redundant|retarded LiveJournal]], updates might range between one to two letters. Generally, an entry may be about what [[Shit noone cares about|music someone's listening to, when they're going somewhere, a response to someone else, what they just clicked on, what they just thought, what letter they just thought about, what punctuation they just thought about, or]] [[Emo|beautiful poetry]].

Even Twitter's own web site introduction admits that Twitter is redundant and offers no social benefit:

{{center|
<youtube>uQb8E8T9TRs</youtube>
}}

==No troll hypothesis==
In 2007, many fanbois and retarded bitches persistently claimed that [[Troll|trolling]] does not occur on Twitter. News of this Troll Free Zone - unheard of in the history of the Internet - spread far and wide, and caused a massive explosion of ''late to the party'' lusers to sign up.

This theory has been officially trashed, as evidenced by the trolling of many famous persons including [[Billo the Clown|Bill O'Reily]], [[Britney Spears]], [[Trent Reznor]], and other douches in the late morning hours of 2009, {{archive|zdtzs|as reported by paid trolls Gawker}}.

{{cg|OMGHAX|TwitterhaxGallery|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Fox twitter.jpg|[[Billo The Clown|He came out.]]
File:Britney twitter.jpg|[[Britney Spears|Vagoo status reports directly from your Twitter.]]
File:Rick sanchez twitter.png|This guy likes[[crack| crack]], failed to go to work, or something.
File:Obama-twitter-hacked.jpg|[[Obama]] will give you free money.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Huffington Post Twitter.jpg|Arianna Huffington, I guess?
File:Tila tequila twitter.jpg|Tila Tequila is dead lol.
File:Nuke Whale 01.png|The right answer to fail.
File:Twittertroll.jpg|[[4chan|eBaum's]] raids Twitter.
File:Pervert Contact Info.png | Wow, you can teach my children any day. 
File:Perverted_Teacher_Confronted.png | Ugly and stupid.
File:Perve_Cover_Fail.jpg | That's a really smooth cover-up.
File:Twatter.png
File:Twitter_pedobear.png|Rule1 fail.
</gallery>|border=#1DA1F3}}
<br>

==Drama! Twitter refuses to uphold terms of service! Oh noes!==
Unfortunate [http://arielwaldman.com/ Ariel Waldman] unfortunately works for Twitter's unfortunate competitor Pownce:

{{morphquote|Ttos|background-color: auto;|font-weight: bold;
|In June 2007, I unfortunately found myself on the receiving end of multiple accounts of harassment from a user on Twitter. When the user started using my full name in their harassing tweets, I reported the harassment as a form of cyberbullying to Twitter's community manager.
|Ariel does the right thing.

|Unfortunately, in 2008 it escalated to a level that could no longer be ignored. Tweets were being fired off directly calling me a 'cunt' amongst other harassing language. On March 14, I wrote to Twitter, giving the example URLs of abuse and stated to them clearly...
|Ariel can't take it anymore.

|It seems there is room in our Terms for folks to debate the difference between an update and an insult.
|Twitter [http://blog.twitter.com/2008/05/our-terms.html doesn't give a fuck] about your lame drama.

|RT @chunkymunky lol twitter|@DancingSandwich

}}

Instead of using the rather obvious '''block''' feature to ignore the [[Offensive|offsensive]] user, Ariel began to harass the Twitter admins with complaint messages, only to be ignored. Butthurt and embarrassed, Ariel embarked on a large scale publicity whoring campaign to let the world at large know that [http://archive.fo/UuLow Twitter refuses to uphold their terms of service'] including [http://archive.fo/CYWRN lawyers and all].

The whole event caused a great deal of worry and concern for Twitter's loyal followers, as it provided a simple and obvious proof to invalidate the '''No Troll Hypothesis''', and raepd them of any perceptions of their "specialness" as an "online community."

==Scalability is [[Serious_business|serious fucking business]] (My cock is bigger than yours)==
[[File:Tay zonday vs chris crocker twitter catfight.png|thumb|With Twitter, you can watch [[Tay Zonday]] and [[Chris Crocker]] have a catfight.]]
The instability of the Twitterverse and obsessive posting habits of many [[lusers]] means that daily use of Twitter has the network profile of a [[DDoS]], frequently choking the site and blocking updates. This forces the [[lusers]] back to their [[Blogosphere|usual faggotry]] where they whine and complain or post fawning sycophantic comments on the [http://blog.twitter.com/ fail blog], a colossal feedback loop of narcissism leading to a dripping clusterfuck of triviality.

===Transcript of a typical tweeting episode===
* '''Tweet / LuSer:''' eating a bagel! om nom nom (10:41am)
* '''Blog / LuSer:''' twitter is down! waiting for it to come back (10:43am)
* '''Blog / LuSer:''' twitter is still down :( (10:51am)
* '''Tweet / LuSer:''' is this working? (10:58am)
* '''Tweet / LuSer:''' seems to be working (10:59am)
* '''Blog / LuSer:''' twitter is back again! (10:59am)
* '''Blog / LuSer:''' twitter is down (11:01am)

From the outside, this typical behavior could easily be construed as vapid insanity. But engineers know that Twitter is [[Serious_business|Serious Fucking Business]], making every Twitter failure a grand opportunity to compare penis size in blog posts that use the magic word '''Scalability'''. Technical experts know that Twitter is a '''Distributed Messaging Service''', which means that only engineers with massive cocks can understand the significance. Nothing could be more important than typical LuSer losing her ability to tell her retarded followers what she had for lunch. Of course, engineers know that they have bigger dicks than [[You|you]] ''and'' the Twitter developers, which is why they're obliged to mutually masturbate over every instance of Twitter fail, an activity which they call ''scalability advice from the trenches''. This continues to happen, despite the fact that none of them have ever managed a successful high traffic website, nor do they have any fucking idea what the Twitter architecture actually looks like. The tubes are alive with the sound of fap fap fapping.

===Technical expert reasons why Twitter architecture epitomizes fail===
* It is built with [[Ruby on Rails]].
* The [[Internet|series of tubes]] is not [[gay]] enough to handle distributed asynchronous push-style messaging.
* [[TL;DR]]

===Actual reason why Twitter architecture epitomizes fail===
* Twitter is a joke business that generates no money but plenty of lulz for its developers, who are attention whores addicted to the shit storm that occurs every time their service goes down. Twitter claims that it is not interested in [[Profit|PROFIT???]] ([[lulz|lulz wtf?]]) and only wants to expand its user base, everyone knows that the real reason is because their users are all [[niggers]] so they'll never be able to make any money off of them. They're just trying to see how long they can trick [[Bernie_Madoff|Investors]] that they have a [[Bullshit|plan]].<br><br>The current plan goes something like this:<br>1)Get a bunch of [[niggers]] to join.<br>2)[[????|????]]<br>3)[[Profit|Profit]]!!!11[[oneoneone|oneoneone]].

== Search.Twitter.com ==
As a sister site, [http://search.twitter.com/ Search Twitter] is a real-time search engine with which you can see what is being said about certain keywords at any moment. It's a decent tool for seeing what the sheeple are thinking. Go ahead, try out "4chan," or "I am gay." [[no|This might be the only redeemable aspect of Twitter.]]

<center>
<gallery>
File:TwitterCancer1.jpg|That there is cancer.
File:TwitterCancer2.jpg|Coming out of the e-closet.
File:TwitterCancer3.jpg|OMG TWILIGHT!!!1!111ONE
File:Swine flu.png|Guise, i had bacon. iz this mean i have teh swine fevar? 
</gallery>
</center>

Of course, the best time to use Search.Twitter is when there is a [[9/11|mass panic]] about. For instance, the [[swine flu]] scare showed just how [[stupid]] people became in times of [[bullshit|crisis]]. 

==[[Iran|2009 Iranian riots]]==
Twatter has finally filled a niche, albeit a dirty, smelly one. [[Terrorists|Iranian citizens]] have recently begun [[anarchy|rioting]] in the streets because their poster-boy candidate wasn't elected. Being the [[Taliban|cunning, organized]] people they are, the people are now using Twatter as a way to communicate quickly and efficiently. [http://search.twitter.com/search?q=iran As seen here], live 'tweets' from the [[revolution|Revolutionaries]] are being made. 

What does this mean for Twatter? It means that [[Web 2.0]] has unknowingly shat out a perfect tool for [[anarchy|anarchist]] communication. [[LOL]]!

==[[Faggotry|The Fry fiasco]]==
[[File:Stephenfry.jpg|150px|thumb|The only type of bird that interests Stephen Fry]]
Sometime during [[2009]], [[Last Thursday|between October and November]], [[Stephen Fry|Stephen FUCKING Fry]] was happily typing away on his Twitter page, talking about what [[Al Gore|cereal]] he had for breakfast and when he was to film new TV shows, when all of a sudden a fellow Twitfag by the name of [[Troll|BrumPlum]] went on his page and [[Coolface|suggested that Stephen Fry may be a bit boring]].

Now instead of just ignoring him, Stephen Fry fell for the troll bait and left a butthurt comment on the troll's page. 

This was nothing compared to what his [[Fucktard|fans]] did. They immediately treated the troll like some sort of [[Rape|rapist]], bombarding Brum's page with hate comments and even [[Batshit Insane|threatened to kill him]]. 

Seeing what had happened, Stephen Fry panicked and threatened to [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|quit the Internet]] because he thought that [[Irony|Twitter had become]] a way of [[Spax3|spreading drama]].

His fans, not wanting to see their [[Homosexual|great]] [[Jesus|messiah]] leave their social networking site, [[BAWWWW|cried]] for [[at least 100]] days until Stephen Fry came back, admitting that he hadn't [[Left 4 Dead|grabbed his pills]] that day when he said he would leave.
{{clear}}
{{quote|dont give up stephen fry i signed up to twitter to follow you and i dont want you to leave just now|Someone taking their social networking way too seriously}}

==[[David Cameron]] on Twitter==

9.00 David Cameron says sorry for '[[twat]]' comment during radio interview http://bit.ly/41nsJT

9.01 David Cameron apologises for accidentally killing [[Martin Luther King|Archbishop Desmond Tutu]] live on Loose Women whilst submitting him to a '[[holland|dutch oven]]'
  
9.09 David Cameron apologises for nude photoshoot in Nuts in which he smears porridge on the grave of [[Brittany Murphy|Farrah Fawcett]] and eats a live mouse.
  
9.11 David Cameron apologises for waggling his vomit-stained cock at [[Fox|David Frost]] in an interview desribed by [[Tory]] HQ as 'otherwise basically ok.'
  
9.12 David Cameron apologises for holding [[OJ|Nelson Mandela]] in a headlock on 6Music. Reports that he was nude & blacked-up remain unconfirmed.
  
9.15 David Cameron apologises for threatening to eat [[Ann Coulter|Diana Athill]]'s hair live on the Radio 4 Bookclub.
  
9.16 David Cameron apologises for slicing off own nipples during PMQs. 'That's [[Cocaine]] Dave' shrugged a spokesman. 'He's off his tits. Literally'
  
9.17 David Cameron apologises for kicking pensioner to death during Question Time, urinating on Paddy Ashdown and then quietly vomiting
  
9.18 David Cameron apologises for rubbing genitals on camera-lens whilst eating faeces from ice-cream cone during Newsround.
  
9.20 David Cameron apologises for whipping out cock and pursuing [[whale|Fern Britton]] across Broadcasting House whilst screaming.

9.25 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8188201.stm

==Ebert v. Breitbart==

[[Last Thursday]], Roger Ebert was shooting some B-Ball outside the school when Andrew Breitbart, who was up to no good, started making trouble in his neighborhood. They got in one little fight and Salon got scared, and said "you're moving in with your Aunty and Uncle in Boulder."

Breitbart, a right-wing controversialist in part responsible for the [[Obamacorn]] scandal, baited liberal movie critic Ebert with a comment about [[shit no one cares about|some movie]]. The exchange goes as follows:

{{center|
{{morphquote|EvB|background-color: auto;|font-weight: bold;
|@ebertchicago Did you like Werner Herzog's 'Grizzly Man'? Best, perhaps, inadvertent exploration of progressive/leftist mind. Seriously.
|andrewbreitbart

|@andrewbreitbart Huh? Treadwell was universally deplored as unhinged, and condemned for leading his girlfriend to death.
|ebertchicago

|@ebertchicago film wasnt political but treadwells challenging absurd beardogma was embraced by mediaschools & framed as idealism & progress.
|andrewbreitbart

|@andrewbrietbart Show me a "media school" that embraced Tim ("Grizzly Man") Treadwell, "& framed [him] as idealism & progress."
|ebertchicago}}
}}

This little slapfight, reported on by Salon.com, only scratches the surface of an ongoing back and forth between the two pundits. You can find the full article [https://web.archive.org/web/20100410165159/http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/film_salon/2010/04/07/twitter_feud here]. They are both DEAD now anyway, so lol.

==XSS Twitter exploit==
{{rainbowsmall|JEWS DID 9/21}}

[[Last Thursday]], some enterprising individuals found out you can embed CSS code in tweets and basically fuck up entire walls and pages.

Actually scratch that, turns out you could also run Javascript commands triggered onmouseover. What crazy scripts can you write in 140 characters? Why:

*Trigger annoying alert windows
*Crank up the font size to 999px and wreck the entire home page
*Create a giant overlay that masks the entire site
*Create a self-replicating tweet that retweets itself simply by people looking at it
*Get the prime minister's wife to post about [[pornography]]
*Get the US Press Secretary to post [[terrorism|DEATH TO AMERICA]]
*Combine all of the above and basically make the entire site unusable as [[borg|self-replicating tweets consume everybody's profiles]]

The event lasted for several hours on the morning of 9/21, until the hole was finally patched. Plans for a mosque are currently underway.

==Important rules for Twitter==

*1  Do not post [[politics|political]] shit unless you're an aged, wrinkled voice over [[whore]] with an angry army of [[masterbate|cloppers]] who will always jump to your defense because they think you will show sagging udders as a reward.

*2  Seriously, don't do it.  (Rule # 1) Politics on Twitter isn't about right or wrong but rather who has the largest [[army]] of mindless, [[retard|retarded]], [[zombie]] zealots who won't argue the point but rather go on about how inhuman you are to oppose their [[Tara Strong|whore]] goddess.

*3  Be as base as possible.  Twitter is for the low of IQ who are still trying to make their way through Dick and Jane.  No more than 8 or 9 words.  Follow this example and you'll never go wrong.  Grr, [[Drumpf|Trump]] bad.  [[You|me]] hate rich white man. Get rid of.

*4  Twitter is mostly for the rich and famous to infect the masses with their [[bullshit|belief of the day]].  Unless you're a sycophant who likes to have others tell you what to think, stay away because the only way you will ever get replies is if you piss off a celebrity and they send their personal army after you.  Don't even use that half-assed excuse that you use twitter to keep up with your family.  If you'd rather tweet, "Mom died," rather then make some phone calls, you don't deserve to come out of your [[basement]].

*5  It's for the stupid.  See rule #3.  If you think you can make a compelling argument with 140 characters, you're dumber than this [[Chris Chan|retard]].  If you think you have something to say, start a web page.  

*6  You are not going to save the [[world]] with a twitter account.  Get it out of your head.  To save the world you need to do something that requires a little more involvement like leaving your basement.  Twitter is designed so that people will be fooled into thinking that celebrities are political and care about the people beneath them when they retweet a post about giving up their lunch to hand out food for meals on wheels.  Before you even start the argument, [[SNCA|Well I saw a picture of Mark Hammil]], ask yourself, how did the press know where he was going to be and why does the picture have such high photographic value like good lighting?

*7  Twitter should only be used to post what you're having dinner or as a witness to post proof that that [[slut|fire crotch]] you took home last night actually [[blowjob|sucked your dick]].  Dirty jokes and [[boobs|nip slips]] are always welcome.

*8  Beware of celebrities who claim to be movers and shakers but have the time to be full time, twitter hooker-whores like Leann Rimes, [[Tara Strong]], [[Whore|Alyssa Milano]] and  [[Scientology|I'm going to whore Scientology for money Lea Remini]].  It's always the has beens that man their twitter accounts like an Arizona Militia member along the [[Mexico|Mexican border]] because they either A: Have no new work to report because no one will hire them, B: They're irrelevant and are trying to drum up press or C: They've crossed into the crazy and are looking for a good [[handjob|dick pull]] from their [[cult|loyal]] fans who can only say ditto to everything they say or will fall over themselves to tell their god or goddess how brilliant they are.

*9  Partially based on Rule #8.  Twitter is only there to agree with people.  If you have a differing opinion then go somewhere else with it because by voicing it you're either being a [[troll]] or an [[asshole]].  Freedom of Speech and open forums are only for the government, not for [[douchebag|has been actors with an agenda]].

*10 The most important rule.  If you haven't been on Twatter for a minimum of 6 years don't even consider posting because you're a noob and everyone hates noobs.

==#RIPTwitter==
[[File:riptwitterstock.jpg|thumb|right|The beginning of a sweet downfall.]]

It's official! Twitter is finally going down the shithole! It was announced on 02/05/2016 that [http://www.buzzfeed.com/alexkantrowitz/twitter-to-introduce-algorithmic-timeline-as-soon-as-next-we?utm_term=.qodyP7jbX2#.dp25qZQVon Twitter will be adding a reverse chronological feed with an algorithmic timeline]. This cause Twitterfags to rage and protest Twitter with the #RIPTwitter hashtag. But wait, Twitter's still not done taking a shit to make it even worse! Few days later Twitter announced the Twitter Trust & Safety Council (TTSC) adding "experts working for safety and free expression.” One of those 'experts' from the council include [[Feminist Frequency]] also known as the [[feminazi|greedy gluttonous censorship-power hungry villainous feminazi jew]] Anita Sarkeesian! That's another good reason to shove the #RIPTwitter hashtag down their throats until they choke on it.

Not to mention the friendly folks who use it to attack each other:
{{squote|Twitter, then still a startup, was fresh off a buzzy SXSW debut, and Waldman’s post was an unfamiliar bit of bad press, depicting Dorsey in particular as an unsympathetic, even cowardly, chief executive. “Jack explained that they’re scared to ban someone because they’re scared if it turned into a lawsuit that they are too small of a company to handle it,” Waldman wrote. While Twitter founder Biz Stone issued a formal acknowledgment of the problem, arguing that “Twitter is a communication utility, not a mediator of content,” Dorsey was silent. Co-founder Ev Williams was more critical, posting tweets that cast doubt on Waldman’s claims and halfheartedly apologizing with a simple “our bad.” Waldman was crushed. “Prior to my coming out, I had great relationships with them and considered some of them my friends,” Waldman told BuzzFeed News this month of the fallout. “I took it very personally. It sucked.”

More than eight years after Waldman’s ordeal, harassment on Twitter is rampant — so much so that it has become a primary destination for trolls and hate groups. So much so that its CEO declared, “We suck at dealing with abuse and trolls on the platform and we’ve sucked at it for years.” So much so that numerous high-profile users have quit the service, citing it as an unsafe space. Today, Twitter is a well-known hunting ground for women and people of color, who are targeted by neo-Nazis, racists, misogynists, and trolls, often just for showing up. Just this summer, actor Leslie Jones was driven off Twitter after a barrage of racist comments and death threats, only to return after a personal reassurance from Dorsey himself. Last week, Normani Kordei of the pop group Fifth Harmony also stepped away from the service after suffering years of “horrific and racially charged” tweets. Despite its integral role in popular culture and in social justice initiatives from the Arab Spring to Black Lives Matter, Twitter is as infamous today for being as toxic as it is famous for being revolutionary. And unless you’re a celebrity — or, as it turns out, the president of the United States of America — good luck getting help.

To hear former employees tell it, the better part of Twitter’s corporate history is defined by a seemingly unending set of problems, from keeping the servers running in the early days (Twitter’s service disruptions were so frequent, its ‘Fail Whale’ error page became famous) to IPO fundraising to a sharp pivot to mobile. “There were literally always other fires to put out, always growth targets being missed and execs leaving,” one former employee told BuzzFeed News. One source described the internal culture as “never once tranquil” and another said it was “intense, chaotic, and morale-draining, despite working with some of the best people I’ve known.”|--http://www.buzzfeed.com/charliewarzel/a-honeypot-for-assholes-inside-twitters-10-year-failure-to-s "A Honeypot For Assholes"}}

==2022, Elon Musk era begins==
After years of censoring posts out of butthurt, [https://theintercept.com/2022/10/31/social-media-disinformation-dhs/ the feds] and the censorship squad were BTFO when known aspie [[Elon Musk]] purchased Twitter outright for $44 billion. The meltdown from the left produced many lulz and [[flounce|flouncing]]. Moar meltdowns were seen when Musk suggested paying $8 for a [[verified]] badge. Several "celebrities" have left the site and almost all will return because they are all Twitter addicts.

<center><gallery>
File:Twitter eight dollars AOC FglvWPsXoAYHAGs.jpg
File:Twitter eight dollars internetnobody FglXBiEaEAAWxvr.jpg
File:Twitter eight dollars Starbucks wojak FglVYVmXkAIWB5w.jpg
File:Twitter eight dollars Elon Musk Moloch chestpiece FggEZHxXoAE60xa.jpg
</gallery></center>

Conclusion: eight dollars [[is now a meme]].

Twitter was awash in liberal tears as Musk went about his task of making Twitter great again by firing the "[[censorship|content curation]]" team only days before the 2022 US midterm elections. Democrat plans of being able to astroturf and censor their way to victory were demolished, like liberal tears in rain. Internet Jews were reported to be on suicide watch after Musk restored the Twitter account of [[Kanye West|The Voice of a Generation]], who promptly posted about [[The Jews and Their Lies|the Jews and their lies]], while claiming the name of the Jew for some reason.

==Musk Reveals All==

Christmas has come early, and Musk has brought with him presents in the form of receipts. He announced to all of Twitter on December 2nd 2022 that he would reveal what was goin on behind the scenes regarding the Hunter Biden laptop fiasco. Some (if not most) of the information provided is stuff people already knew about YEARS ago, but it's nice to have confirmation and evidence.  Unfortunately, he did this in the most assinine way possible by having someone else post the information INDIVIDUALLY rather than make one huge Twitterlonger, proving once again that boomers can't into tech for shit.  To make things worse, Twitter's own system decided to delete some of those tweets moments after they were posted. Good job dumbasses.  Musk claimed there would be more information down the road each day, and aside from a one week hiccup thanks to some faggot gatekeeping the process (whom was promptly fired by Musk as a result), he's keeping his promise. Also they decided to censor names and faces after the first two drops because SJW's can't handle when the other side uses their same tactic and were threatening to throw the book at Musk and the people he was giving the info to.  If that wasn't bad enough, the tweet posts KEEP. GETTING. BIGGER.

So to save time, page size, and disk space on the servers, rather than upload every single tweet in a gallery (because at this point that would be pants-shittingly retarded), a thread reader and archive link will be provided.  Anything that the thread reader was unable to capture will be shown in the gallary as left-overs (because even Thread Reader can't handle their 60+ single posts bullshit)


<b><u><font size="4">Friday December 2nd, 2022 - The Twitter Files</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1598822959866683394.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/kWYjN

The introduction.  Shows how Democrats and the left in general were throwing money at Twitter for it to become what it is today (at least before Musk took over).  Also talks about the cover-up going on inside Twitter with Hunder Biden's laptop.  Basically a taste of things to come with future drops.


As a side note, when celebrity James Woods heard about how they purposefully wanted to remove him, he announced he would sue Twitter over their censorship bullshit.


<b><u><font size="4">Thusday December 8th, 2022 - Twitter's Secret Blacklist</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1601007575633305600.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/Nffgw

Discusses shadowbanning and how not everyone was crazy for assuming they weren't getting noticed anymore.   Even Libs Of TikTok were affected by this.


<b><u><font size="4">Friday December 9th, 2022 - The Removal Of Donald Trump Part One</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1601352083617505281.html

Archive: https://archive.ph/wXirj

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Self explanatory.  Donald Trump triggered the fuck out of everyone at Twitter HQ.  So much so that even the feds got involved and wanted him gone for good.  We also learn that Yoel Roth is a pedo kike that was trying to push sexual shit onto children online HARD.


<b><u><font size="4">Saturday December 10th, 2022</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1601720455005511680.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/YdW0U

Part 2 of Banning Donald Trump from Twitter.  Even after making a statement that they wouldn't, Twitter did it anyways.  Apparently Jack Dorsey was on vacation and either didn't know what was going on in his own office or didn't give a shit because the rats were running the show behind his back.  They basically went "SHUT IT DOWN!" mode on everything Trump related (including QAnon retardation).  Zuckerberg, not wanting to be outdone, also bans Trump from Facebook afterwards.


<b><u><font size="4">Monday December 12th 2022</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1602364197194432515.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/1440a

More info regarding Trump and Twitter.  Twitter caving into peer pressure, acting like they won when they finally suspended Trump, and trying to figure out how to spin it.  One would think when looking at the chat screenshots that Twitter was filled with over-dramatic spiteful teenage school girls.  This essentially gave Twitter an ego-trip to start ban-hammering anyone they didn't like even for minor stuff.


<b><u><font size="4">Friday December 16th 2022</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1603857534737072128.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/yiZmh

All about the Feds.  FBI interference with Twitter, using it as a political platform and working with basically any other 3 letter agency you can think of to silence people that were not going along with the narrative.  Re-defined what was and wasn't considered "misinformation".


<b><u><font size="4">Tuesday December 20th 2022</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1605292454261182464.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/6xSKA

More info regarding government control of Twitter ,specifically the Pentagon and DOD.  Twitter lying to congress (again) this time about shutting down sate propaganda. Pentagon running psyops on Twitter.


<b><u><font size="4">Monday December 26th 2022</font></u></b>

Thread Reader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1607378386338340867.html

Archive: https://archive.vn/k4mbF

Censorship relating to COVID-19.  The Biden adminisatration basically giving tech companies free reign over anything "anti-vaxx" related, and getting pissed off when said tech companies weren't being aggressive enough with their actions.



<center><b><font size="4">TL;DR - Pajeets, Pedos, and Glowniggers fucking ruin everything in the tech industry</font></b></center>

== Tweets (yes, they are all real!!) ==

{{center|
{{morphquote|1=tweets|2=background-color: lightgrey; width: 700px;|3=font-weight: bold;
|4=[[Image:Twatter1.png]]
|5=[[Wikipedia:Google_Photos#Controversy|Google Photos drama]][http://www.businessinsider.com/google-tags-black-people-as-gorillas-2015-7]

|6=[[Image:Twatter2.png]]
|7=[[Donald Trump]]

|8=[[Image:Riggedwitchhunt.jpg]]
|9=lolol OUR FEARLESS LEADER

|10=[[Image:Collusion.jpg]]
|11=awww, pooor little Donnie

|12=[[Image:Susanrice.jpg|size=500]]
|13=[[Roseanne]] is an expert on testicles

|14=[[Image:Roseanne_tweet.png|size=500]]
|15=and monkeys

|16=[[Image:Joshhadertweets.jpg]]
|17=what's a "Josh Hader"?

}}
}}

==Gallery==
{{cg|Gallery|TwitterGallery|center|<gallery>
File:Twitter_Trauma.png
File:Twitter_icon.png
File:Twitter_logo.png
File:Twitter_troll.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Twitter_widget_bug.png
File:Twitterboxeating.jpg
File:Twittericon.png
File:Twittertc.jpg
File:Twittertrainrage1.png
File:Brantdogtwitter.jpg
File:Twitter New Tweet.jpg
File:Twitterdemotivational.jpg
File:King_Hashtag.png
File:Social justice twitter moderation.jpg|[[Anita Sarkeesian|(((detected)))]]
File:twitter.jpg|Twitter users finally getting their priorities in order.
</gallery>|border=#1DA1F3}}

== See also ==
[[File:TwitterBETAlisting.jpg|250px|thumb|More features to help spam up other people's Twitters, but keep it secret!]]
[[File:President Obama wants a banana Irina Rodnina Twitter post.png|250px|thumb|Obama wants the banana, and it looks like his husband wants it too.]]
*[[Angie The Atheist]] - Tweeted about her abortion.
*[[Anita Sarkeesian]] - Censored your free speech.
*[[Black Twitter]]
*[[Brian Krassenstein]] - Pedo, always trolls Trump's threads like a loser, and a #Resist troll. Was permanently banned from Twitter in 2019.
*[[Cloaking]]
*[[Digg]]
*[[Ed Krassenstein]] - Pedo, always trolls Trump's threads like a loser, and a #Resist troll like his twin. Was permanently banned from Twitter in 2019.
*[[The Donald|Donald Trump]]
*[[Facebook]] #RIPTwitter
*[[Foursquare]]
*[[Gab.ai]] - Much better than Twitter.
*[[GamerGate]] - Hashtag still trends.
*[[Generation Snowflake]]
*[[Hashtag]]
*[[Jonathan McIntosh]] went [[Full Retard|#FullMcIntosh]].
*[[Kate Leth]] - [[Comicsgate]] SJW who attacks people and works on [[High Guardian Spice]]
*[[LiveJournal]]
*[[Morrissey]] - Tweeted about his [[Asexual|asexuality]].
*[[MySpace|Myspace]]
*[[Patrick S. Tomlinson]] - A pedophile who was banned from Twitter and paid a lawyer $5,000 to get it back.
*[[peskysnowflake]] - #Resist troll
*[[Reddit]]
*[[Roseanne Barr]]
*[[San Francisco]]
*[[Social networking sites]]
*[[TS;DR]]
*[[Tumblr]]
*[[TWITsci]]
*[[Vine]]
*[[Zoe Quinn]] - Ate at Five Guys.
*[[Cut4Bieber|#Cut4Bieber]]
*[[OpRollRedRoll|#OpRollRedRoll]]
*[[@]]
*[[@CapsCop]]
*[[@horse_ebooks]]
{{clear}}

==External links==
* [http://twitter.com Main page]
* [http://archive.fo/MuS9Q People don't read stories they tweet]
* [http://www.geekologie.com/2008/12/what_to_do_in_a_plane_crash_tw.php What to do in a plane crash? Tweet about it while it's happening.]
* [http://dilbert.com/fast/2009-10-04/ Get your boss to use Twitter]
* [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/7601281/Twitter-archive-to-be-stored-by-Library-of-Congress.html Communism and Twitter]
* ''[http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/06/twitter-is-betting-everything-on-jack-dorsey Vanity Fair]''

{{Social Media}}
{{Web 2.0}}
{{afro}}
{{Sites}}

{{Timeline|Featured article December 18 & December 19, [[2017]]|[[Star Wars]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Kraut and Tea]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article January 12, 13 and 14, 2021|[[Thedonald.win]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Trolling IRL]]}}
{{Timeline|Article of the Now April 27-29, [[2022]]|[[Daddy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Elon Musk]]}}
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[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
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