View source for Fred

:''This article is about the vlogger. For other uses, see [[Fred (disambiguation)]]

{{spoiler|this faggot came out as gay! We were right all along}}
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[[Image:Fred assplug.JPG|thumb|Fred getting it up the ass from one of his tater [[white|haters]].]]
[[Image:Sniapsd215152.JPG|thumb|lolwut]]
<!-- [[Image:Fredaudience.jpg|200px|thumb|This is your fault.]] -->
<!-- [[Image:LMAO1.png|200px|thumb|Umad fred?]] -->
[[File:Lucas cruikshank faggot.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A homosexual brain always comes with plenty of deviance.]]
[[File:Lucas cruikshank faggot 2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|{{age|1993|08|29}} years of faggotry and counting.]]
[[File:FRED.PNG|200px|right]]
[[Image:Fred emofag.jpg|200px|thumb|Omigod so hawt.]]

'''Fred Faggothorn''' (aka [[Powerword|Lucas Cruikshank]] IRL), otherwise known as just '''Fred''', is yet another fucktarded, [[autistic]], epic failure and partially failed abortion on [[YouTube]] that [[cheat|somehow]] became the YouTuber with the [[unwarrented self importance|most subscribers]] in history <strike>([[RayWilliamJohnson|Not anymore]]</strike> <strike>IT'S SMOSH NOW</strike> <s>nope, [[PewDiePie]]</s> HOLY SHIT IT'S [[T-Series|T-SERIES]]!), mostly because deformed [[FAIL|spastic fangirls]] find the [[bullshit]] coming from that dry, crusty cunt he calls his mouth funny, or because they think [[Lie|his emo haircut is hawt]]. He appeals to every retard who thinks lolcats are funny, and who use [[AOL]] on their shitty [[Pornography|virus-filled]] computers. His videos consist of him using a [[aspergers|high-pitched voice]] from [[Windows|cheap computer]] software and acting like a [[shota|6-year-old boy]], and usually getting into retarded dilemmas like [[insane|losing his meds]] and running away from his [[ugly|mom]]. His lack of [[lulz]] has ended countless lives. Watching his videos will most likely kill your brain cells due to the [[faggotry|overwhelming sensory overload]] put into them, and are the complete definition of [[unfunny]]. Fred can do men as well as women. 
{{quote|Hi Lucas I LOVE you and u can call me any time for real ANYTIME!!!!! 512-945-9510}}
{{quote|Fred is the coolest person on YouTube. Hes got millions of fans and haters, the people who hate him do that just cuz hes hella famous and hes the most successful person on Youtube. I <3 Fred. Me - Oh mah goth dood, lets go watch Fred's new video. Saibin - No man, Fred fawking sucks. Me - * Pulls out a gun shots Saibin on his motherfawking penis. * : DIE FRED HATER, DIE : (this person's username is actually balldropfail. [[srs]].)}}
{{quote|I want to fucking slam his head on the edge of a sidewalk, kick his head over and over while it's on the edge, run over his neck with a motorcycle, and hit him in the teeth with a baseball bat!}}
{{quote|How is he considered funny? Spongebob is funnier than that peice of shit.}}
{{quote|I'd rather rip my dick off and shove it up my ass then listen to this faggot one more second}}
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== The story ==		 
[[Image:Gaykissing.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Fred fighting with Kevin.]]	
In the series of moronic videos Fred has queefed out he pretends to be a shota. The acting in these videos is so bad that it can induce so much [[rage]] in non-retarded people that they may have a heart attack. Fred portrays a [[emo|social outcast]] with [[ADHD]] in an attempt to appeal to the millions of [[fucktard | fucktarded]] [[13-year-old boys]] and girls looking for friends on the Internet, because they're too fucking retarded to get any in real life. Fred also pretends to have an abusive alcoholic [[transvestite]] mother. Even though she doesn't exist she [[Anal rape|anally penetrates]] him on a daily basis, finally explaining why he is such a ridiculously huge faggot.

He lives in Columbus, Nebraska guyz! Lakeview High School. Lucas Cruikshank. 311 fan.

[[DO IT FAGGOT|Kill him.]]
{{clear}}

==Fans and haters==

===Fanbase===
{{quote|guys cant you leave him alone?! he doesn't actually sound like that! Actually he's not a noob hes actually helping his cousine who has cancer :( SO [[Chris Crocker|LEAVE HIM ALONE]]|
aabuzalaf}} 

Like every Internet celebrity, Fred has plenty of [[fangirls]] wanting to suck his .005-micrometer [[dick]]. His fans are all jackasses who, like any good [[fangirl]], listen to the [[Jonas Brothers]] and [[Justin Bieber]], still watch Disney Channel regardless of how shitty it is, constantly plaster their [[Myspace]] pages with pointless crap, and find ghey porn appealing everywhere. He also has been documented to have the worst [[Joker]] impression out of anyone, ever.

=== YouTube comments ===
[[Image:comments4.jpg|200px|thumb|Typical comments on any of Fred's videos.]]
Fred has many views on all of his videos; some people say that this in itself is proof that he at least has some talent, but they couldn't be more wrong as can be seen in videos' comment sections. Over 9,000% of the comments are from haters or spammers, while only 4% are fans. Fred's supposed popularity is completely derived from people hating him so much that they go to every video he has on his channel to post comments about how he is [[truth|an untalented little piece of shit who should become an hero]].

Fred somehow managed to anally rape Captain Awesome after fucking [[fakesagan]]'s gf.

=== YouTube Fred prank ===	

Last Thursday a couple of kids with too much time on their hands tried gathering /b/ from every corner of the Internet globe to have everyone unsubscribe to Fred, which they thought would cause much butt hurt. /b/ didn't respond and decided that the fucktards didn't think this one out. Why would you subscribe to him just to unsubscribe to him in an unfunny prank. All and all Fred lost about four hundred subscribers at most. It was an epic fail which accomplished shit. 

===[[Doug]] [[Parkinsons|Derky]]===
After [[Last Thursday|many years]] of verbally raping our eardums into a state of shock, [[Fag|Fred]] has finally retired from the Nickelodeon straight-to-DVD business and found a [[Goatse|nice deep hole]] to go and die of cum poisoning.  Just as the intertubes faggotry meter began to return to a stable level and the boys of the [[IDF|Internets Defence Force]] thought they were going home to see their families again, tragedy struck when the dark lord Cruikshank uploaded yet another [[Herpes|video]] to his Tubeyube paeg.  What seemed to be a typical return from the netherworld of faggotry by the e-devil himself soon turned out to be many times worse than one could imagine, a new character by the name of [[Wut|Doug Derky.]]  This horrid new character sported the cursed [[Justin Bieber|fringe of beaver]], and a voice unnaltered by computer witchcraft and Audacity.  All of the [[Nobody|billions]] of viewers on YouTube were incinerated by the true voice of the beast, even in the distant land of [[DeviantArt]] the nefarious sounds caused several colons to explode and a [[Lulz|furry to be trampled to death]] in mass panic.

<center><youtube>mvicbRMiZlk</youtube></center>

We are in dark times [[Gentlemen|men]] and [[Shemale|women]] of ED, gird your [[Cock|loins]] because this new evil will almost certainly be the end of the tubes and all the is lulz as we know it.

*[http://www.facebook.com/DougDerky Derky's Failbook]
*[http://www.twitter.com/dougderky And his Twatter WARNING: may cause faggotry and vaginal centipedes.]

==Fred on TV==

===Fred on ''iCarly''===
[[File:DropDeadFred.jpg|200px|thumb|If only he would.]]
On February 16 of 2009, [[Nickelodeon]] released a [[Retarded|special]] episode of ''[[iCarly]]''. When you thought the show was already a big hunk of [[bullshit]] and fries, they feature Fred. ([[Lie|Because we ALL know that we can't get enough of the helium-breathing faggot.]]) Apparently, the episode goes like this: Fred is the most popular guy on the [[Internet]], Freddie says that Fred's videos are [[retarded]] (so goddamn true), Fred acts [[butthurt]] and tells everyone that he won't make videos anymore(TFG), Fred's fans act [[butthurt]] and jump Freddie every two minutes, the iCarly team tries to find Fred to apologize, and after doing so they find out that it was all just a plan to [[attention whore|get more pageviews]] for his website.

===Holy shit they gave this twat a [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1595842/ movie]?!1===
Sometime [[last Thursday]], a rumor was set loose upon the unsuspecting interwebs that casting had begun on a full-length feature movie based around Fred. A very lonely Jew director who lived in his mother's basement saw Fred while searching for porn and saw it as his chance to cash in. The movie was produced by Derf Films, which is a completely [[bullshit]] company that Lucas probably made himself. As if it couldn't be filled with enough [[fail]] and [[faggotry]], [[John Cena]] was picked to play Fred's dad in the movie. [[Srsly]]. It should be noted that Cena was 33 and Fred 17 when the movie was first aired.  That would mean Cena as "Fred's father" would have been 16 at the time of his birth, and maybe [[Nigger|15 when he got the girl pregnant]].

Filming for the movie is set to begin November 2009. <s>If you have any respect for the Internet at all, you will go to the set and [[an hero]] yourself to hopefully throw a wrench in the works.</s> Disregard that, it premiered on Nick on September 18, 2010.

Surprisingly(?), everyone hated it. Even most of the retarded Fred fans. As it currently stands, ''FЯED: THE MOVIE'' has a score of 2.0/10 on [[IMDb]], and a [[Shit|0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes]].

====Sequels====
Somehow, despite ''FЯED: THE MOVIE'' being universally panned, it received not one but TWO sequels, each cheaper than the last. While ''FЯED: THE MOVIE'' drew 7.6 million total television viewers, the second movie, ''FЯED 2 NIGHT OF THE LIVING FRED'', received only 5.7 million, and the third movie, ''Fred 3: Camp Fred'', completely bombed with 3.5 million.

<center><youtube>rVFJzN20jhQ</youtube></center>

===''Marvin Marvin''===
The steaming pile of shit that finally ended Fred's tenure with Nickelodeon, and arguably the worst thing involving Fred ever made.  The series barely lasted five months, and had a grand total of nineteen episodes, before it was canceled.  Described by [[Old media|critics]] as a "bland," "teeth-gnashing affair" with "stale" gags, the show currently holds a 2.3/10 rating on IMDb.  In short, even [[Dan Schneider]] would think ''Marvin Marvin'' is an [[unfunny]] Nick sitcom.

== Fred is GAY IRL ==

As this soon-to-be-copyright-claimed JewTube proves, Fred [[IRL]] is gay.
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<center><youtube>LsAKbjMvbU8</youtube></center>
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You should know that CNN sped up the comment scrolling up. If you pause it at 1:36, one comment states the truth: "You suck." This comes as no shock to 80% of humanity. However, given that the typical Fred fan is a 12-year-old girl or a 12-year-old fag, such revelations may come as a shock. Then again, girls love fags, [[amirite]]? It has been suggested Fred knew that his normal, faggy voice would make all dicks and nips automatically soft, so he sped it up so no one would know WTF is going on. Also, [[Fact|no one likes fags]]. Fred is a huge fag.

If that video wasn't proof enough for ya, try this one.
<center><youtube>-7UWcrDdKWs</youtube></center>

Fred gets called out on his faggotry by Danny aka [[Tourette's Guy]].
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<!-- no longer exists <center><youtube>kQJGwgjZ71c</youtube></center> --> '''BAWLEETED'''

== 2008 presidential campaign ==
[[Image:Youtube fred comments lulz.JPG|200px|thumb|Typical comments on Fred's YouTube channel.]]
[[Image:Fredfanssuck.png|200px|thumb|More comments including a piece of [[jailbait]] shit it would seem.]]
In early October of 2008, Fred announced his fake campaign for [[Joe Biden|President of the United States]], so once again another episode of Fred's failure is butthurtzzz.  The sad part of all this is he's probably the most competent for the job.
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<center><youtube>ypO4MLGFxYY</youtube></center>

===How do I failed ejaculationz?===
After a month of terribly-made fake campaign commercials in an attempt to try to make someone somewhere laugh, he made an episode where he acted [[butthurt]] about losing to a [[girl]], quite possibly the most [[Irate Gamer|unfunny pointless series of episodes on YouTube]] ever.
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<center><youtube>Qa-OHJ5h75A</youtube></center>

==Fred today==

Fred is now the definition of [[old meme]]. Despite having a massive fanbase back in the day, as of 2014 all of his retarded 13-year-old boy fanbase has grown up, and [[shit nobody cares about|nobody cares]] about anything related to Fred anymore. Most of his channels are dead and his movies are trash-

Wait a minute... What's this that was posted years after everyone stopped caring about Fred?

<center><youtube>lSIetQnpVGs</youtube></center>

Wow. This little shit refuses to die. There is no God.

Prepare your sphincters everyone.

===The return and final death of Fred===

Well, Fred has indeed returned... But not what you think. It's not even Lucas coming back. Some may think that's a good thing at first, but then you'd see who's really playing Fred. Ladies and gentlemen and [[you]], we present our newest target.

<center><youtube>slZ0eOXNa4E</youtube></center>

This [[CP|12-year-old]] [[Azn|Korean]] [[Hacker|133t hax0r]] [[faggot]] is our "new Fred." We are NOT shitting you, this is real. Not only are they just remakes of earlier videos that are riddled with enough product placement for fake cereal and crap morals that they would make Disney and ''Eight Crazy Nights'' blush, a theme with these "new" videos is that this jagoff keeps jerking his uncut 1-inch Asian dick about how much better he is compared to the original Fred. Kinda like remaking an already shit movie, or Nickelodeon in a nutshell. Oh, and [[Truth|he sucks bloated balls]]. Whether or not he or Fred is worse is debatable, but the dislikes show it, summing up what is wrong with Jewtube in one and a half minutes, complete with [[Dox|doxing his P.O. Box]] in an annotation.

Apparently, Fred has decided to pull the ultimate in selling-out and [[whore|give his YouTube channel to a random Korean company without any warning]], to something called The Bullshit Company- We mean [[Bullshit|Yuksung Corporation]], who provide, and we quote from the site itself:

{{quote|construction, financial services, discount product manufacturing, prison management, chemical production, novelty breakfast cereals, and most recently (with the acquisition of the FRED YouTube channel and related characters in July 2014) children’s entertainment.| From [http://www.yuksung.com their home page], which by the way is streamlined as fuck.}}

Oh, and their cereal tastes like [[McDonald's]] Big Macs with twice the cow shit, more color than a unicorn shitting out a [[gay]] pride parade, and mixed with frog's balls. Don't expect it to be even sold as a generic novelty item at your local dollar stores.

Another forum site quotes from Fred on his blog channel that he was GOING to come back, but [[Lie|lost the e-mail and password to his channel.]] So decode that however you will, maybe he lost it for some days or years, who knows. [[Sarcasm|Totally an excuse to quit Jewtube and make shitty movies with washed-out Dan Schneider stars.]] That however, makes things even more suspicious with this bullshit company, [[Illegal|how could they get the channel if Fred lost his access himself?]]

He didn't even say anything about it, assuming we all either knew this would happen or that we're retarded goats. Everyone go back to your holes, Fred's still dead, but this Yuk-Shit company wants to play Frankenstein and revive him themselves. The result is even more gay and horrifying then Michael Buckley and Lucas combined.

But as it turns out, according to people who actually did research, [[LOL|this is all a joke]]. Fred was just kidnapped, [[Hacker|Yuk-Shit hijacked his channel]], and EVERYTHING now points to Fred's potential fourth movie. Meaning Fred has devolved into yet another sell-out [[troll]] by pretty much pulling everything here out of his [[Goatse|gaping ass]], including [[Bullshit|"Yuk-Shit" Corporation]] to pull off the IRL version of the plan he pulled off on ''iCarly'' to [[Jew|net himself more pageviews and monies]]. Little does he know that this will probably cut his subscription count into pieces before that happens.

Why can't this little shit quit while he's ahead, he said he was done with Fred, what's the point of returning to playing with the equivalent of a dog corpse? 

All the videos were was just typical retarded and anti-climactic, narcissistic videos where Fred played more than half the cast. For one thing, thank God even Fred didn't see the [[bullshit|potential]] in making it a fourth movie. On the downside, this scrotum cancer is still here. He also grew some balls and let the negative comments and unsubscriptions slide in his videos. Still [[An Hero|do the right thing]] and give these videos no attention whatsoever.

For added lulz, look at the dates the videos were uploaded: NEW FRED Goes Swimming: Aug 5, 2014 / The "kidnapped FRED" unlisted video: '''Jul 2, 2014'''

He had this planned from the start. Since then, his channel has had absolutely NOTHING to do with the Fred character, [[Win|safely letting us assume he really did kill him off.]] Now it's changed into a hub channel for shows that failed to get on Disney Junior. Change the channel name to "Poor Man's Nick Jr." and call it a day. [[Goodnight sweet prince]], you won't be missed.

==Videos==
<center>
{{videoframe|Q U A L I T Y|background-color: #FF6666;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>Hi7TM87ksDI</youtube><br>'''BRUSHING MAH TEEF TICKLES LOL!!!1!!1'''
|<youtube>l27otMzmWCQ</youtube><br>'''Fred tried to sell out and get a record deal with this shit.'''}}</center>

==See also==
*[[Basement Dweller]]
*[[Dan Schneider]]
*[[Emo]]
*[[Faggot]]
*[[Fangirl]]
*[[Internet celebrity]]
*[[Jew]]
*[[Magibon]]
*[[Shane Dawson]]
*[[Unfunny]]
*[[YouTube]]

==External links==
*[http://insurg.in/index.php?title=Fred dox and raid stuff]
*{{yt|u|Fred}}
*{{youtube|cME3nk4StnA|<s>Fred rideing a bike</s> '''Failing at it.'''}}
*{{youtube|6Zc7Wt4WBEE|The fag trying to be cool.}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/Fucketyfuckerable Very gay butthurt fan.] 
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/kljhhi An even more annoying butthurt fan.] 
*[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fred-Figglehorn/27598034671 OMIGOD FACEBOOK #1 FANSITE!!!1]
*[http://fredfigglehorn.com/ His shitty website]
*[http://news.tubefilter.tv/2009/09/17/youtubes-fred-the-movie/ It has been confirmed. You may now weep.]
*[http://www.miniclip.com/games/fred-figglehorn/en/ His new shitty game - proving he's a retard faggot baby.]

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[[Category:People]]