View source for ESRB

[[Image:Rated-L.jpg|300px|right]]
The '''ESRB''' stands for "'''''E'''ntertaining '''S'''hit '''R'''aping '''B'''oard''". It is a group of [[Nazis]] and [[Concerned Mother|Concerned Mothers]] that enjoy slapping the "M" tag on [[video games]] that are [[awesome]]. The board itself is made up of old, tired [[Conservative]]s (and occasionally [[Hillary Clinton]]) who are afraid of "teh [[sex]]" in video games. For you see, [[blood]], swearing, and horrible, horrible [[Death|deaths]] are nothing, but the second you add "teh [[sex]]" in a game, it cannot be sold to the [[God]]-fearing people. It will be slapped with an "AO" ([[Adult|Adults]] Only) rating, and you will never see it again, [[EVAR]]!

The ESRB, along with other global agencies such as the [[RIAA]] and the [[MPAA]] is a part of the vast [[Jewish]] conspiracy. But unlike the previous groups, they are also [[vampires]], which feast upon the blood of [[azn]]s in order to thrive.

Some theorize the ESRB was created by [[retarded]] mutant [[Nazi]] [[space]] [[ninjas]] and [[Republican]]s who where angered by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This has been confirmed. 

==The Hot Coffee Mod and the Utter Pwnage of Rockstar Games==
[[Last Thursday]], another recycled [[Grand Theft Auto|GTA]] game was released. Like all [[Grand Theft Auto|GTA]] games, you could blackmail police officers, bang prostitutes, traffic drugs, engage in pimping action, shoot random people on sight and continue normal civilized life uninterrupted. However, a [[hacker]] decided to pull a twist on the game by altering a single Boolean variable that unlocks a secret scene in the game. In that scene [[at least 100|several hundred]] pixels were colored and arranged in a way that resembles two naked people doing "teh [[sex]]". The scene and instruction on its unlocking spread across the [[internets]] at light-speed while Rockstar Games collectively [[shit|shat]] themselves. 

Naturally, the soccer moms and [[old]] [[fucktard]]s who effectively control the ESRB pulled the fire alarm yelling: "We will not allow our children to play such obscene games, it deserves a damnation in hell and the developers publicly executed!". The ESRB, failing to realize their ratings are [[shit nobody cares about]], immediately slapped a big-ass "AO" (AO means gamers must be at least 18, compared to 17+ for the previous "M" rating) on ''GTA: San Andreas'' thus effectively killing Rockstar games and allowing the little children to continue the playing of games that involved mass murder, killing police officers, violent carjackings, and [[9/11|flying airplanes into buildings]] without fear of "teh [[sex]]". All because of a Boolean variable that unlocked a sex scene in the game.

In all honesty, if you wanted to jack off, it would be easier to type in "[[boobies]]" in your search engine, rather than sift through layers of code to watch badly-pixelated [[sex]].
<center><gallery>
Image:Hot_coffee-2.jpg|A typical example of hot coffee, which can be quite refreshing.
Image:PORNPORNPORN.jpg|OH MY! Hot Coffee in action.
Image:Hotcoffeepron.jpg|MOAR hot coffee.
</gallery></center>
== The "Pwning j00" Movement ==
In the late 20th century, the ESRB, [[RIAA]] and [[MPAA]], scared shitless by the growth of [[P2P]] programs and un[[christian]] content, joined together to screw over gamers, [[music]] lovers, moviegoers and pretentious fucks everywhere. The lawsuits against grandmothers, small [[children]], web-servers, pornographers, Rockstar and [[Michael Moore]] would go on to be called by the author as the "[[Pwning]] [[you|j00]]" Movement.

Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, the lawsuits were nothing less than a fundraiser and a hilarious "fuck-you". Their true aim is nothing less than complete dominion over [[the internets]], and the construction of the next great fast-food chain. Catering to the fattest fucks on [[Earth]].

==The M Tag==
The M Tag Stands for "Mature Players or Older" (Age 17+). It is their way of saying that this [[video game]] is way too [[awesome]] for [[you]] to play. It was originally invented to keep [[13 year old boys]] from ruining the [[hardcore]] games by making [[retarded]] noises and gestures from their [[cunt]] mouths into the microphone during online sessions. However, the protection was utterly destroyed when a bunch of [[assholes]] from Bungie, Rockstar and Activision got together and released three games called "[[Gaylo]]", "Gay Theft Nigger" and "Cock of Duty". Ever since then, almost every [[13 year old boy]] has been countlessly using those dreaded disks with the help of their shitty [[Xbox 360|Exbawks]] as a portal into the [[internetz]].

==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Illustrated guide to ESRB.png
Image:ESRB Andersons.jpg| A parent that thinks the game his kid is playing is a little too enjoyable.
Image:ESRB M.jpeg
Image:ESRB-Fail.jpg| The ESRB is rated "F" for [[Fail]]! May contain [[Nazis]], [[Christfags]], [[Faggotry]] and [[Fail]].
Image:Tr00ESRB.gif
Image:4kids - -U by Kevinsano.jpg| The ESRB inspires [[4Kids]] to do horrible deeds.
</gallery></center>

==See also==
* [[Nazi]]
* [[Concerned Mother]]
* [[Vampire]]
* [[Christfag]]
* [[Republican]]

==External Links==

[http://www.esrb.org/ Faggotry]

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{{Timeline|Featured article January 4, [[2006]]|[[High Contrast]]|[[ESRB]]|[[Huggles]]}}

[[Category:Faggotry]]
[[Category:Gaming]]