View source for Cillit Bang


'''Cillit Bang''' was invented [[at least 100 years ago]] by some [[13-year-old boy]]. (No, seriously, he's like 13 or some shit in the [[DDR]] community.) No one knows exactly what is in Cillit Bang, but it burns! It burns! It is given to naughty [[child]]ren in [[England]] because of its burningness. They are tricked into thinking it is candy, but no! They are wrong! Once they drink it, BANG! -- their face is gone. In [[England]], famous Attention Whores such as Jodie Marsh's tit have clamed to have drunken it in a rage of [[OMG]], but the most common use of Cillit Bang is to clean pennies. Experts say it is a favourite passtime of over half of Europe's [[furry]] population.

It also sounds like "[[vagina|clit]] [[sex|bang]]".


[[Image:Cillit_Bang.jpg|thumb|This user submerged their hand in Cillit Bang.]]
[[Image:Deadppl.jpg|thumb|Police found these dead people at a Barndance Barry Scott liked to attend.]]
[[Image:DirtyChallenger.jpg|thumb|To avenge Brothers Limescale and Rust!]]
== Barry Scott ==
Barry Scott is the leader of the Cillit Bang cult. He regularly appears on TV promoting it to young children. He is a [[pedophile]], but experts love him. He is known to host sex parties at his manor in China's finest hotel. He was [[Azn]] but at the age of two converted to [[White]]. Some may argue he got bored. Barry Scott molested [[user:lunarsandwich|lunarsandwich]] [[at least 100 years ago]]. He is also the illegitmate lovechild of Billy Mays.
Barry Scott is the only human known at this time to be impervious to the effects of Cillit Bang. Some say he even guzzles it down in public areas and then laughs as children and adults alike copy him. The effects are devastating.
He often appears on the ads on TV, in which you have turn your TV's volume down because he [[Billy Mays|shouts too fucking loud]]. There is also a music video about Cillit Bang which can be found here:

<center><youtube>KPONH2j4In8</youtube></center>

==History==
Of course Cillit Bang was first created by Hitler in his Nazi laboratories, while trying to find a substitute for milk. After realising its sheer destructive power (When it dissolved his bowl of cornflakes.) he went on a killing spree to feed his hatred of the Jewish people, a trait shared by many scientists (including [[Albert Einstein]] and [[Stephen Hawking]]). This of course was covered up by the media and the general view held today is that there was some sort of holocaust. I don't know. Look it up. After his release from a holding cell in the local police station Hitler set about promoting his new weapon of mass dissolvation. He tried several slogans, including 'What a Feeling!' and 'Have a Break, Have some Cillit Bang.' He then found and stuck with the slogan we all know and love to this day, which is of course 'BANG - and the Jews are gone.'
          
[[Image:Hitlerbang22.jpg]]

== Evidence of the Shocking Effects ==

<gallery>
Image:cillitblack.jpg|This Man had never showered with Cillit Bang.
Image:cillitwhite.jpg|The same man after just one quick shower with Cillit Bang.
</gallery>
<gallery>
Image:Noteeth.jpg|This poor sod tried to clean his teeth with Cillit Bang.
Image:Shumancillit.jpg|[[Cheryl Shuman]], after washing her face in it.
Image:Lotus balls.jpg|<s>This poor man fapped with Cillit Bang.</s> [[This looks shopped]].
</gallery>

== Famous People known to have used Cillit Bang ==

<gallery>

Image:Barryscott.jpg|Barry Scott (Impervious to the effects of Cillit Bang).
Image:thehorror.jpg|[[Michael Jackson]].
Image:Bnwm.jpg|Look how it does to a nigga!
Image:viceversas.jpg|Vice Versas Chocolate.
Image:Brianpeppers.jpg|[[Brian Peppers]].
Image:Durst.jpg|[[Wigger|Fred Durst]]
Image:1491-kd40.jpg|[[Kristen Dunst]]
Image:Hitlerbang.jpg|[[Adolf Hitler]]

</gallery>

==See Also==
*[[BILLY MAYS]]
*[[Shamwow]]

==Links==

*[http://wasteofpixels.com/images/swf/cillitbang.swf In the future all kids will be listening to this]
*[http://www.barryscott.blogs.com/ Even fake celebrities have blogs]
*[http://bang.adamwelch.co.uk/ Uncovering Barry Scott's lies]
*[http://www.plasticbag.org/archives/2005/09/on_cillit_bang_and_a_new_low_for_marketers.shtml Barry Scott has no shame]
*[http://www.freewebs.com/cillitbang_fanclub/ Childer these days, they love zelebritys from TV Adverts]

[[category:Memes]]