User:Andrés/special/2011xmas

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Article of the Now Bruce Jeffery Pardo Twas the night before Christmas 2008, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Santa soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums hollow point bullets danced in their heads. Santa (sɑːt ʊˈn) opened fire as he entered the house, first shooting an 8-year-old girl who answered the door in the face with one of his five semi-automatic pistols. He then managed to pwn nine people and wound several more, including his 16-year-old fat and sassy stepdaughter (who he shot in the back), his in-laws and most of their family before burning... (( Merry Christmas! )) Recently Featured: Jesus - Kim Jong Il - Needledrop Did You Know... From Encyclopedia Dramatica's endless supply of factoids: ... that Jews killed Jesus? ... that Jews don't celebrate Christmas? ... that Christmas is a chance for Muslims to blow themselves and some innocent bystanders up? ... that after Christmas comes Kwanzaa? ... that old seedy pedophiles dress up as Santa Claus as an excuse to touch little kids? ... that Santa Claus is weev's cousin? ... that Black Santa exists? Video of the Now Suggest a Featured Video • View the VOTN Archives

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