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MySpace Whores

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www.myspace.com/encyclopediadramatica; a place for myspace whores.
Every myspace whore EVAR
Stupid "Thanks for the add" comments like these are a foolproof way to identify a Myspace whore.


MySpace whores were posers who used MySpace more than normally needed back when MySpace actually fucking mattered. (The standard amount of time one should squander on Myspace is 5 seconds or less.) These people dedicated their pathetic lives to Myspace, which is a pretty emo thing to do.

The whore's profile

All Myspace users are narcissists, and fall prey to various spyware and virii in their desire to know who is looking at their profile. As such, a Myspace whore's profile consists of a masterful symphony of every annoyance known to the World Wide Web. If one should be so unfortunate as to stumble upon any MySpace profile, the wisest response would be to immediately close the window before the computer spasms begin.

Should one by some twisted miracle manage to survive loading the profile, highlight the text so you can read it and take notice of how many "friends" are listed. Studies show that only .003% of the users on a MySpace whore's friend list have actually met the whore in person.

The profile will be laden with shameless self-promotion and tasteless pictures this user has taken of him/herself. These pictures generally include the infamous bathroom emo Internet disease scene captured with the aid of an abused mirror.

Most likely this person is emo. There is rarely an emo who doesn't use Myspace as an oulet for their grievances — and there's plenty of tragedy to go around. Most emo people will turn into hardcore music fans (hXc) and pretend to hate emo people while crying inside.

That is correct my friend.
That is correct my friend.

I accidentally friended a Myspace whore. What now?

You are doomed, but you may as well have some fun on your way down to Shangri-La. If your new friend has enabled HTML in their comments, a basic opening technique may include the Fifty Hitler post, preferably using pictures of Hitler larger than your screen resolution. Note: at least 3 in 10 Myspace users are neo-Nazi gay-bar hatchet killers and are therefore immune to the 50 Hitler post. For your personal entertainment, look at the "who I'd like to meet" section of the whore's page. Then imagine those people beating the ever-living shit out of him/her/it.


Other pwnage techniques include these awesome Macromedia Flash profile domination codes. (updated)

Embedding a url that goes to a file that doesn't exist on your server yet then creating it is a great way to slip it into profiles that require comments to be approved.

Dial-up connections and MySpace

If you use a dial-up connection and wish to view a typical person’s Myspace page: Just click on the profile, take a shower, cook dinner for yourself and the neighbor you're banging, screw them, take another shower, catch up on any paperwork one might have, check the NASCAR results in the newspaper, and get a good night’s sleep. In the morning, it will be nearly three quarters of the way done and you can read the blog entries of one of charming people that use the website. It's always worth the wait.

Summary of typical blog entry: Your girlfriend posted that she ran around the nightclub parking lot wearing a cheeseburger wrapper as a top, a homeless guy sucked on her tits, and she gave the cop who arrested her a blowjob in order to let her go. But it turns out it wasn't a cop, it was a security guard at the nightclub. Oh, and her friend Jennie is a cunt and she hates her. She fucked her, too. Two times this week, in fact. Oh, and now you know why it burns when you piss. And the baby isn't yours, it's the sleepy eyed guy who mops the toilets at the nightclub.

Common Myspace Comment Conversations

Hey!!!! I found the answer to that question you asked me about the other day. I think that it's Chlamydia you've got instead of Syphilis. I know you told me that you were having problems with an infectious discharge, which is a common symptom of syphilis, but I think that the constant pain in your lower stomach and burning sensation when you pee are more characteristic of Chlamydia. I know how you didn't want to talk to your parents about it so I didn't mind calling around to find out what is wrong with you. Just being a good friend and letting ya know ~holla back! P.S. I heard walgreens has that cream that you needed for that oral herpes too. And don't worry, it doesn't have any alcohol so it wont burn like the last 7 creams you tried.

Related Articles

List of Myspace's more prominent whores

The Best of the Rest

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