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Racial Profiling

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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How to spot a criminal

Racial Profiling is the card game that Racists play to determine if you're equal to their race. You aren't.

Racial Profiles

Print and then cut the cards out along the dotted lines; enjoy!

White

  • Strength: 10
  • Endurance: 10
White
  • Penis: 20
  • Speed: 10
  • Intellect: 25
  • Personality: 50
  • Other bonuses:
    • +2 attack against orcs
    • -2 health under direct sunlight
    • Weak against other races
    • Strong against own race
    • Whites receive +10 in every category due to superior race
    • Increased personality when talking to other whites (bonus varies on what type of white [See white sub-races])
    • Most environmentally diverse race. Not a single place that whites have not visited and only race that can reach the moon level
  • Languages: Common

Negros

  • Strength: 30
  • Endurance: 15
Negro
  • Penis: 60
  • Speed: 25 (+10 bonus when running from Quest Type: job, males get an additional +30 when running from class: father)
  • Intellect: 5 (-1 for every crack rock smoked...might as well not even list this trait)
  • Personality: 10
  • Other bonuses:
    • +45 strength when roided out
    • -2 accuracy when using ranged weapons
      (.22s held at a 90o angle)
    • +5 contentedness for every white maiden
      raped
    • Blacks receive an handicap of -15 in every
      category due to primitive culture
    • Weak against AIDS, White people; +10
      rage when facing these foes, other blacks
    • Passive Ability: Chimpout (10% of rage when facing other blacks)
    • Special Ability: Accuse Racism
  • Languages: Click

Arab

  • Strength: 10
  • Endurance: 15
Arab
  • Penis: 20
  • Speed: 30
  • Intellect: 15
  • Personality: 7-11
  • Other Bonuses:
    • Closeted Faggots
    • Darkvision
    • All Arab children start the game with one AK-47 in their hands, two clips of ammo, and a +0 cloth helmet (worn).
    • Spawns with choice of 10 different bombs
    • +1 defense due to excess body hair
    • -1 intellect when shouting terrorist slogans
    • Innate Skill: Throw rocks. Skill creates a small, high-velocity projectile to use against foes. Attack has 100% chance of being dodged and does no damage.
    • Arabs receive +3 butthurt for every depiction of Mohammad
    • Mortal enemy of Jews, Whites, rationality; +10 rage against these foes
    • Arabs are restricted in levels and cannot evolve past the 13th century
    • Special Ability: Allahu Akbar (When activated, Arab receive 100% resistance to fear. Best used when on suicide bombing missions)
  • Languages: Common, Draconic

Chink

  • Strength: 5
  • Endurance: 3
Chink
  • Penis: -1
  • Speed: 10
  • Intellect: over 9000
  • Personality: 50
  • Other Bonuses:
    • All Asians automatically possess the "Cleave" feat
    • Eyes:
      • -3 accuracy due to slanted eyes
      • No enemies due to lack of eyesight
    • +5 contentedness when exposed to bizarre sexual fetishes
    • +10 Satiation upon ingestion of rice, fish heads, or animal fetuses
    • Passive Ability: Reinvent the wheel (Improves existing tech to god-tier levels, but cannot invent new tech and must steal from whites)
  • Languages: Common, Shrieks

Jew

  • Strength: 1
  • Endurance: 1
Jew
  • Penis: 1
  • Speed: 9/11
  • Intellect: 50
  • Personality: 40
  • Flammability: 100
  • Race restrictions:
    • Jews cannot become fighters unless wielding weapon:tank. Strong against rock throwers
    • All Jews start as Class: Shopkeeper. At experience level 10, can upgrade to Thief
  • Other Bonuses:
    • Jews get a +2 crime roll against hard-working women and men
    • Gains 10% more gold
    • Weak against Arabs, Germans; -25 Fire resistance when facing these foes
    • -5 speed due to oversized nose
    • Bonus Ability: Mad Genius (can improve intelligence, all the way to max but 20% is mental illness due to Jewish imbreeding)
  • Languages: Common, Draconic, Orcish

Ruskie

  • Strength: 15
  • Endurance: 10
Ruskie
  • Penis: 20
  • Speed: 10
  • Intellect: 30
  • Personality: 30
  • Race restrictions:
    • Strong only in large numbers
    • +10 Rage when fighting Race: German
    • +7 Strength when wasted on vodka
    • -5 intellect when shouting Communist propaganda
    • +5 Strength against bears
  • Other Bonuses:
    • +15 resistance against cold weather
    • Spawns with bottle of vodka
    • Weak against Afghans
    • Strong against Class: Capitalist
  • Languages: Common, Russian, Communist, Bear

German

  • Strength: 30
  • Endurance: 20
German
  • Penis: 20
  • Speed: 50
  • Intellect: 60
  • Personality: 40
  • Race restrictions:
    • +20 in every category due to superior race
    • +10 Strength when fighting Race: Jew, Nigger and Russian
    • +5 Happiness when gassing Jews
    • +4 Strength for each beer drunk
  • Other Bonuses:
    • Special Ability: Ovens (Burn all Jews in play)
    • +20 Strength when fighting other races
    • Bonus Ability: Blitzkrieg (Destroy foe of your choice in play)
  • Languages: Common, Germanic, Nazi

Injuns

  • Strength: 25
  • Endurance: 35
Injun
  • Penis: 20
  • Speed: 25 (+7 bonus when running from self reliance)
  • Intellect: 15
  • Personality: 10
  • Other Bonuses:
    • Special ability: Increase white liberal guilt
    • +5 Penis for every white woman scored with
    • Weak against treaties
    • Very weak against blankets
    • -5 coordination when quaffing Potion of Fire-Water
    • +10 sympathy for every teepee burnt down
    • Mortal enemy of the Cowboy; +25 Scalping Prowess when facing these foes
    • -10 Intellect if cleaned from the gene pool..OH SHI-
  • Languages: Gibberish, clicks and mute

Beaner

  • Strength: 5
  • Endurance: ∞
Beaner
  • Penis: 1
  • Speed: 50
  • Intellect: 1
  • Personality: 5
  • Other bonuses:
    • -3 Personality when eyebrows are replaced with pencil
    • -1 Speed for every drive-thru run
    • +100% strength for each dollar closer to minimum wage
    • Siesta! Lose 3 hours wages every day
    • -2 Personality and intellect if outside Mexico
  • Languages: Shrieks, Broken-Common

Sub Races

Irish (White)

  • The Color Ginger: All stats are negatively affected while in sunlight
  • Alchololism: 75% chance of becoming an alcoholic when drinking
  • Take Back The North!: +5 When attacking Protestants

Wigger (White/Albino Black as they call it)

  • Pretty Bi For A White Guy: Wiggotry highly indicates that these wannabe thugs have homosexual tendencies
  • Shitty Music: +45 for they can use the music as the advantage when torture is involved.
  • Online PWNAGE: These kids can get extra props for scaring away; Nekos, Bronies, Furries and Weeaboos
  • Emo Bashing: Mostly in Midwestern America and the UK.

Italian (Orange)

  • Pretty Skinny For A Guinea: Most Guidofags eventually lose their muscle and steroids as their faggotry has resulted in AIDS... their testicles also begin to shrink
  • "Eyy I'm Walkin' Here": +20 for Brashness.
  • Connections To The Mob: Most of them meet in Pizzerias and love abusing Horses (which were previously raped by the Scottish).
  • Mafia Princess: Their once fat, sassy daughter after seeing a liposuctionist is now over 90% Plastic with big tits.

Aryan (German, White)

  • Master Race: All stats are maxed out
  • Success Breeds Jealousy: All other races will hate you out of envy (especially Jew)

Aborigine (Nigger)

  • Absolute Shit: Enough said

Somali (Nigger)

  • Ruthlessness: +40
  • Pirates: Rather juvenile and are doing it wrong (-15)
  • Third World Syndrome: Yeah, like, for REAL.
  • Scum Of The Earth Award: Won the award two years running.

Indian (Dot)

  • Tech Support: +70
  • Shit Smell: Attracting flies
  • Paki Muck: Bad Curry

Women (any race except Thai)

  • UBER Bitchy: Impossible to win in an argument with one.
  • Unnatural Powers: So ugly, gross and horrifying that they can turn men gay.
  • Over-Eating: Fat Girls.

Chilean (Latino)

  • Anti-Mexico: Any enemy of Mexico is an ally of America.

Iranian (Persian)

  • Annoying: -20 everytime they claim that a Persian is white.
  • Model Minority: The rich ones that is...
  • Gross 'n' Greasy: Most lower-class Iranian men... and the women too.

Turks (Arab)

  • Hated: By every single one of it's neighbors... and America.

Polack (White)

  • Laughable: The low IQ of the country.
  • Cannot Into Space: 'Why can't a Polack fly a rocket? Because he can't get a Visa'.
  • White Mexico: Third World hellhole, immigrating into EVERY rich European country (and Illinois).

Faroe Islander (White)

  • Aryan: Next to Iceland, they're the whitest people in the world without the disadvantage of being Albino.
  • Sloppy Rubes: Hicks who eat Rotten Fish all day.

Pacific Islander (Mongoloid)

  • Absolute Shit: Enough said

Korean (Asian)

  • Annoying: WHAPPA GANNUM' STAHYL! (-20)
  • Hate: +20 for hating the Japanese.
  • Love: Retarded commie scum.
  • Depression: The godawful K-Pop music that they listen to.

Japanese (Asian)

  • Fat Man: 15% Resistance to radiation
  • Do You Even Math?: +60 on Math
  • Panda Bear: Can't have many children
  • Model Minority: Tiny Businessmen

Faggot (All except Russian)

  • Pool's Closed: 10% of getting aids
  • Pretty Cool Guy: Instant T.V. Appeal, especially on Liberal program
  • Two Dads: Cannot reproduce and must adopt
  • Successful: Eh, only the white ones

Autistic (White, Jew)

  • Man Child: Cannot leave parent's basement and will die alone
  • U Wot M8?: Incomprehensible language, especially when talking to opposite sex
  • Hitler died too soon: Strongest argument for eugenics
  • That quite kid at lunch: Most likely to attempt a high score; more than any other race combined, and +25% to generate extra media lulz (See Columbine.WAD and Sandy Hook)
  • Deudcatied wam: 100% chance to develop an addiction to Minecraft

Nerd (White, Jew)

  • Socially Retarded: They are fat, ugly and have incredibly poor hygiene.
  • Crooked Teeth: +2 if British or European.
  • Dating What Daddy Hates: Rich white girls only get with them for money, Big Daddy and his two jock sons want to smack the shit out of him.

White Devil (also known as "The Redneck")

People who use Racial Profiling

See also

Blogs from butthurt victims of racial profiling


Racial Profiling
is part of a series on Race 		[I am offended!!!Click for moar]

Races to Holocaust
Armenians • Aspies • Furries • Gypsies • Kurds • Jews • Pikeys • Poor • Slavs

Races to Lynch
Aboriginals • Americunts • Homeless • Niggers • Pindos • Retards • Romanians

Races to keep out of your neighborhood
Arabs • English Scum • Wetbacks • Indians • Injuns • Iranians • Turks • Irish

Races that need your love
Chinese • Gooks • Japanese • Thai • White Trash

Race Representatives
Al Sharpton • Applemilk1988 • Borat • Duane Chapman • Eugene Terreblanche • Hal Turner • Hitler • Jesse Jackson • Kim Jong-il • Martin Luther King • Michael Arega • Mikemikev • Nigger (Dog) • Nkem Owoh • Obama • Osama bin Laden • Suey Park • W

Race oriented groups
419 • Azn • Black Lives Matter • English Defence League • FurNation • Gangs • KKK • Mossad • Mujahideen • Reconquista • Stormfront • Metapedia • Nobel Prize Committee

Racial ideologies
The Fourteen Words • Afrocentrism • White supremacy

Featured article January 23rd & 24th, 2014
Preceded by
EmiNet 		Racial Profiling Succeeded by
Bright Neon Nike Shirt
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