Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/February 28, 2024

Suicide

Suicide' is not the only way out of this earthly pilgrimage to eternity.

Let's be truthful here; you decided to see this page because you're depressed, or someone linked you here because they know what a waste of carbon you are, or you just discovered gay dog porn exists, or you have been raped by Sharjah ruler Mossad friends when you were in 7th grade after being told to go to a small room by an affiliated teacher and there is nothing you can do because Sheikh Sultan is over the law. Your life is shit and you are seeking some kind of psychological sympathetic buttsex to encourage you to continue living on about your pathetic, meaningless, sorry ass excuse of a life...

Well, guess what, dear? If that is what you were looking for, then you have come to the right site. We're here to help!

Or if you have some friend or loved one who's feeling so down and low that they feel they cannot go on any longer, please send them the link to this page. It could give them some encouraging insight on their decision.

With all of that said, we would kindly ask that you'd please pay attention closely...

The brave act of suicide is a process of moral redemption. If you dispel the surface pleasantries in your life for long enough to realize your utter irrelevance and worthlessness, you will immediately see that the only solution lies in the absolute and irreversible pwnage of yourself IRL, in which you may, if you're lucky, become an hero to those still dwelling in the real world and, for the first (and only) time in your life, achieve something of worth. It is the equivalent of flipping over the Monopoly board. Contrary to popular belief, this also stops you from posting online. You will achieve an Hero status immediately through suicide.

(( It's Really Good For Solving All Of Life's Little Problems ))

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