Lulznews/October Archive

October 31, 2006

October 31, 2006 Anchorage, AK (Ræters) Dead woman calls "tails", wins school board election on coin flip.

October 31, 2006 Edmond, OK (ÆP) Mayor's solution to underage drinking?...telephone sex talk.

October 31, 2006 Jerusalem, ISRAEL (ÆP) Jewish potheads latest victims of Hezbollah war spanking.

October 30, 2006

October 30, 2006 Berlin, GERMANY (Ræters) Woman sues witch when spells don't work

October 30, 2006 Beijing, CHINA (Ræters) Chinese averse to hugging strangers for free

October 30, 2006 Cleveland, OHIO (LNN) Ohio Republican Party sends press release featuring Rep. Sherrod Brown (D-OH), complete with doctored image of Al Franken dressed as a diaperfur

October 29, 2006

October 29, 2006 Hollywood, CA (ED) New movie claims Jesus was crucified for being black

October 29, 2006 Hollywood, FL (Ræters) Hell gets frosty reception while Sex generates the heat.

October 29, 2006 London, ENGLAND (BBCæ) Beatles' McCartney "may be a drug taker but he is no wife beater" says Rod Stewart.

October 28, 2006

October 28, 2006 Vienna, AUSTRIA (Ræters) Man gives wife the ring finger in messy divorce.

October 28, 2006 Bloomington, IN (ED) Annoying woman tries to kill lulz in story about councilman dressed as chicken.

October 28, 2006 Rome, ITALY (BBCæ) Ex-stripper and ex-man in parliamentary toilet fight.

October 28, 2006 Bristol, ENGLAND (BBCæ) Anti Social Behaviour Order given to Chav Goldilocks.

October 27, 2006

October 27, 2006 Irvine, CA (ED) Snoop Dogg fails to follow own advice; did not drop it like it was hot

October 27, 2006 Hollywood, CA (CæNN) Irwin fans butthurt as South Park mocks Crock Hunter.

October 27, 2006 Canberra, AUSTRALIA (Ræters) Moslem cleric calls women "meat asking for rape".

October 27, 2006 Washington, DC (CNBCæ) The Googler in Chief: Bush admits to using "the google". Now with video!

October 27, 2006 Lawrenceville, GA. (ED) Scissors + daughter = circumsised.

October 27, 2006 London, ENGLAND (BBC) Pelican swallows pigeon whole

October 26, 2006

October 26, 2006 Antigo, Wisconsin (Yahoo) Toddler Gets Stuck In Vending Machine

October 26, 2006 Denver, CO (ED) Mattel's 'Hook-Me-Up Elmo' just in time for Xmas shopping season.

October 26, 2006 Long Beach, NY (ED) Girls dressed as Captain Underpants sent home.

October 26, 2006 Cleveland, OH (EDWire) Cellphones in ur balls...pwning ur sp00ge?

October 26, 2006 Liverpool, UK (BBCæ) Man banned from touching muscles.

October 25, 2006

October 25, 2006 Berlin (Ræters) German armed forces to investigate skullfucking photos.

October 25, 2006 Saginaw, MI (Bæ City News) Good lovin' gone bad: Local animal lover charged with erroneous 'love'.

October 25, 2006 Gretna, VA (ED) Shaq attacks wrong IP in failed police pedo bust.

October 25, 2006 Hollywood, CA (Forbæs) Better off dead? The King dethroned as #1 on 'Top-Earning Dead Celebrities' charts.

October 25, 2006 Hollywood, CA (ED) Warner Brothers executives accused of gypping limbless African children.

October 25, 2006 New York, NY (ED) Rush Limbaugh trolls Michael J. Fox. Says actor "off meds or faking" Parkinson’s disease. Diabeetus?

October 24, 2006

October 24, 2006 (Ærth, SOLAR SYSTEM) Today cancelled due to lack of interest.

October 23, 2006

October 23, 2006 Lilongwe, MALAWI (ED) African 'Indian giver' dad to Madonna: "I thought it was a loaner".

October 23, 2006 London, ENGLAND (BBÆ) TRAIN CLOSED DUE TO RAPE! Nigra sought.

October 23, 2006 Lahti, FINLAND (M& Æ News) Russian President Vladimir Putin rapes the EU conference with rape comments

October 22, 2006

October 22, 2006 Ferndale, MI (ED) Man with Mannequin Fetish strikes again.

October 22, 2006 Beijing, CHINA (BBÆ) "Racist Park" becomes "Ethnic Minorities Park" as China clamps down on 'Chinglish'. EXTRA: Chigger photo gallery!

October 21, 2006

October 21, 2006 Sacramento, CA (CBÆ) Burrito Jesus guaranteed to never give you indigestion

October 21, 2006 Chowchilla, CA (ED) Handless finger found in sandwich bar.

October 20, 2006

October 20, 2006 Wauwatosa, WI (Ræters) 'Anonymous' has a name. His name is Jake J. Brahm of Wauwatosa, WI.

October 20, 2006 Beijing, CHINA (Ræters) Chinese authorities say "NO U!" to entrepreneur selling bags of air.

October 20, 2006 Kaysville, UT (ED) Airforce test-fly 'human cannonball'.

October 20, 2006 Staten Island, NY (ED) Naked driver kills man outside the Chic-n-Bones bar.

October 19, 2006

October 19, 2006 COLUMBIA, Tenn. (ED) Double the pleasure, double the fun, double the flavor...double mint MURDER

October 19, 2006 Boston, MA (ÆBC) Unwarranted self-importance on the part of a wannabe attorney lands on internet; likely sinks future employment chances.

October 19, 2006 Lighthouse Point, FL (ED) They're baaaaaaaaack!!!1 Flying stingray stabs Florida man in chest.

October 19, 2006 Washington, DC (ED) "Dude...where's the keg at?" Congress ready to celebrate victory in Iraq with $20 million party.

October 19, 2006 Hollywood, CA (BBæ) Don't bet on black: arrest warrant for actor Snipes.

October 19, 2006 Washington DC (FOX NEWS) Copypasta troll counter-trolled by FBI.

October 19, 2006 Almaty, Kazakhstan (BBæ) Borat proven right: Kazakh central bank misspells "bank" on new notes.

October 18, 2006

• October 18, 2006 Chaleston, SC (ED) -Chris Rock's mother accuses Cracker Barrel of racism.
• October 18, 2006 Fort Myers, FL (ED) - Local festival's 'testicle' makes the cut after threat of removal.
• October 18, 2006 MySpace, CYBERSPACE (æWire) - MySpace: a place for friends 744 registered sex offenders.
• October 18, 2006 London, England (BBæ) - Britain's first "web-rage" attack
• October 18, 2006 Apple-land, HIPSTER MECCA - Apple ships iPods with viruses, promptly blames Microsoft

October 17, 2006

• October 17, 2006 Strongsville, OH (æWire) -Mike Tyson's return to ring; plans to punch women.
• October 17, 2006 Las Vegas, NV (ISYN) -Mike Tyson's right hook to be thrown at Nevada brothel.
• October 17, 2006 Hollywood, CA (ED) -Christina Aguilera confesses to urinating in bucket in room full of people.
• October 17, 2006 Kabul, AFGHANISTAN (Ræters) Surrounded Taliban fighters get stoned as Canadian troops move in.
• October 17, 2006 New York, NY (ME) -Man confined to plexiglass booth subjects himself to 'Worst Song Ever' for 24 hours straight.
• The daughter of the man in this image macro is not pleased [1]

October 16, 2006

October 16, 2006 Santa Barbara, CA (Fræsno Bee) -69 year-old man covered with oil and oats arrested in horse stable.

October 16, 2006 Karachi, PAKISTAN (Ræters) -Marriage proposal goes awry; man wounds fiance, shoots self.

October 16, 2006 Lagos, NIGERIA (ED) -Axman kills brother thinking he was a goat.

October 15, 2006

October 15, 2006 Des Moines, IA (ED) -Teens accuse each other of haircut rape.

October 15, 2006 Toledo, OH (Tolædo Blæd) -"The dog ate my bra!" claims teen blamed in multi-vehicle accident on Interstate 75.

October 15, 2006 FOX News -Princeton University prof demonstrates how to hack a Diebold voting machine just in time for November's mid-term elections.

October 14, 2006

October 14, 2006 Dramatica, CYBERSPACE (ED) Encyclopedea Dramatica website crashes when black cat walks under ladder, stepping on cracks on unlucky Friday the 13th.

October 14, 2006 A UFO sighting on the Weather Underground's infrared and radar satelite feed has been confirmed to be the Speedycat.

October 13, 2006

October 13, 2006 South Koreans avoid prostitution laws by having sex with blow-up dolls

October 13, 2006 WICHITA FALLS, TX (ED) -Confessed "super hero/serial killer" cop fired as disturbing MySpace page featuring dismembered women surfaces.

October 13, 2006 Cairo, EGYPT (Ræters) Poll finds that over 61% of Egyptians have never heard of opinion polls.

October 13, 2006 "Cryptic Message" Found In Suicide Note stumps VGCats forum furries.

October 13, 2006 "Mickey, Minnie and Goofy in Disney 'orgy' video". Brings a touch of class to Euro-Disney. Now with video.

October 12, 2006

October 12, 2006 Hamilton, OH (ED) -Drug addled, mentally ill prosecutor running around government building in birthday suit arrested.

October 12, 2006 WALTERBORO, SC (ED) -Cow 1, Colleton Deputy 0: Taser not effective on runaway cows, deputy learns.

October 12, 2006 HANOI, VN (IHT) -Vietnamese woman in all women prison gets pregnant, avoids death penalty

October 12, 2006 Malawi, AFRICA (ED) -African boy taken into custody by Mr. & Mrs Madonna.

October 11, 2006

October 11, 2006 ARGILLITE, KY (ED) -Elementary school urine plot foiled; couple arrested.

October 11, 2006 BEIJING, CHINA (Ræters) China warns citizens against using the rack to lengthen their legs.

October 11, 2006 LOS LUNAS, N.M. Would you like some fries with that hash, Officer?

October 11, 2006 New York, NY Pitcher misses strike-zone; crashes plane into building. Yankee fans wish it was A-Rod. Times of London win Nobel Prize for Understatement.

October 10, 2006

October 10, 2006 CHICAGO, IL. (ED) - Man Apologizes For Spreading Feces Around Courtroom.

October 10, 2006 LORTON, VA (ED) - Mother wants to unadopt 15-year-old son deemed "sexual predator".

ROME, ITALY - Italian politicians are all on drugs

October 9, 2006

October 9, 2006 ERIE, PA (ED) - Woman using 4-week-old baby as a weapon charged with aggravated assault.

Google has acquired YouTube for 1.65 billion dollars in stock. Google claims YouTube will still be run independently. We'll see how long that lasts. Source.