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Writers Guild of America strike (2007)

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Searching for internets profits and DDR.
Dear God these people are ugly.
Give me all your internets!
The Strike is OVER, you couch potatoes can go back to your shitboxes and enjoy your shitty shows again!

During the month of November 2007, the American Writer's Guild, underpaid and pissed off that the studios wouldn't allow them to make money off of their work distributed on the intarwebs, decided to take their ball and go home, as far as yelling "STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEE!".

The strike proved that 99% of TV programming wouldn't be missed if it suddenly dried up. The effects were profoundly devastating as far as proving what we all suspected true: So-called TV talents are epic fail without a script or screen prompter and reality TV can't save a network.

It also proved Trey Parker and Matt Stone are whores for thinking it's OK to get big money off of the internet while everyone else who writes for television have to shut the fuck up and stay in the poorhouse. Well of course, the studios were right to fuck people over.

The Strike Fucks Up Shows

Going into the strike, TV Executives joyfully gushed over the notion the strike would fail due to most TV viewers not missing their favorite shows and flocking to whatever reality TV based shit executives flushed the airwaves. Not to mention the slew of new shows, filmed hastily before the strike started to fill the anticipated programming void. It didn't quite work out that way.

Fans of shows such as Heroes however were buttfucked, as the season was brought to an end by the strike, and also killed the plans for a spin-off: Baby Heroes, a series that focused on baby versions of the existing cast (including a version of Skylar, who eats people's shit to steal their powers).

Pushing Daisies and ABC's newest hit show "Addison and Agent Cooper: The Odd Couple '07". She's an evil doctor who's just divorced her McDreamy Bastard of an Ex-Husband! He's a former black ops secret service agent who faked his death after he was betrayed by the Illuminati! Together they now work at a doctor's office alongside Taye Diggs! They also had to end their seasons early, but unfortunately came back.

Fans of late night talk shows... well, unless you desperately wanted to see old episodes of Jay Leno from the mid-1990s, you didn't have much luck.

Grey's Anatomy

Grey's Anatomy, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives, and How Doogie Houser Fucked Your Mother came back in April but "24" fans were buttfucked as Fox decided to burn their already filmed nine episodes of Season 7, in part because they were filmed when Hillary Clinton still had a chance in hell of becoming President and were conceived as a denouncement of her becoming President, as far as the plot involving a batshit crazy female president on her period trying to destroy the world, and as such are now irrelevant. Further fucking up the situation was Kiefer Sutherland, who was sentenced to jail for sexually assaulting a Christmas tree but had his sentence delayed so he could film "24". When the season was called off, Sutherland decided to be a good sport and showed up two months early to start his prison sentence. He was then place in protective custody for his 60 days jail sentence, away from the horde of prisoners who want the street cred of killing Jack Bauer.

Lost

Fans of Lost meanwhile were pleased that the strike ended before the show debuted (though they lost two episodes due to timing issues, though since the aborted episodes focused solely on the Jack/Kate/Sawyer love triangle, no one gave a shit), so they were not affected.

The Shield

As the strike hit just as "The Shield" started filming it's final episode, showrunner and strike ring leader Shawn Ryan was forced to abstain from all involvement in the filming final episode of the series. As such, without Shawn Ryan to guide the creative process, episode director Clark Johnson and star Michael Chiklis decided to ignore Ryan's script and simply used the 90 minute episode to remake the last two episodes of Neo Genesis Evangelion with actor David Rees Snell as Ronnie Gardocki as Rei, Michael Chiklis as Vic Mackey as Asuka, and Walt Goggins as Shane Vendrell as Shinji.

According to actress CCH Pounder, actor Jay Karnes suggested this controversial ending, after Karnes and co-star/former college roommate David Rees Snell ended up getting into a drunken fight over which had a more bullshit ending: The Sopranos or Neo Genesis Evangelion. When actor Michael Chiklis heard about this, he suggested to Clark Johnson that they remake the anime's finale, as a "we can do it better" response to HBO as far as making a series finale ending that makes more people shit their pants in desperation to understand what just happened, than the ending of "The Sopranos".

Shawn Ryan was naturally furious when he found out about the ending, when news of the finale changes leaked onto the internet. However, when David Rees Snell explained that the new ending would insure that FX shells out the money for a movie version of the ending (a la Neo Genesis Evangelion), Shawn Ryans gave the new ending his blessing.

Las Vegas

One of the great tragedies of this strike is the loss of Las Vegas, which ended without it's plan finale. So the series ends with the main character's new girlfriend laying on the casino floor vomiting up blood while the hero yells "NOT A MISCARRIAGE!!!!" as his new girlfriend's unborn child dies from the cocaine the two just snorted up their noses.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

This show, moar accurately titled as "Terminator and Smallville Penisdocking" got its first season on FOX cut short due to the strike. Other than Cameron (Summer Glau)'s hawt body, nothing of value was lost. No one wants to see John - a 15 year old boy - sleep on dinosaur sheets with a teddy bear, Brian Austin Green's horrible acting, or Sarah's recurring mental problems anyway.

Scrubs

Scrubs also got cancelled but was instead simply moved to ABC, for the five remaining fans of the show who still give a fuck about it.

Victory

In the end, the writers one though they had to sell out their animation and reality tv writer bretheren in order to get everything they wanted. So new shows went into production, as the networks and production studios went about pretending nothing happened, as opposed to folding like bitches.

Post-Script (AKA Parker and Stone are Establishment Whores)

Finally, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, both of whom had struck a deal with Paramount/Viacom for a big buck deal to have South Park streamed onto the internet, produced an episode called "Canada On Strike", which used Canada as an analoge for the Writers Guild and featured Parker and Stone bitching like the right-wing dogs for the establishment that they are, that the writers should have never of gone on strike and continued to be assraped by the studios.

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