Barrel Roll

At least 100 years ago the video game company Nintendo, well known for its open support of NAMBLA, made a game about furries in space. It turned out to be the source for much of the furry pr0n on th3 interwebs. For this Nintendo is considered un-1337 and has thousands of rabid fanboys, who make great lol-cow. During the game, one of the furry sex idols informs his gay lover to "do a barrel roll", something that is obviously a gay secks position. Nintendo put over 9,000 gay furry sex scenes in the game, none of which are plot related. Anyone who attempts to "do a barrel roll" is a total fag and enjoys buttsecks with a big glass of cum. Grandmas who are hyped up from too much sugar in their tea are recommended for 3x the rolling of barrels.

The Barrel Roll meme has been so overused and abused, that it may be necessary to purge or destroy all references to it from the interweb, a la Fahrenheit 451, in order to keep the constant influx of newfags from raping it further. However, it's best used for fat people.

How to do a Barrel Roll

If Comcast: continue surfing and you will have to do one in about 5 minutes to re-establish your Internet connection.

If DSL: unplug the power cord, wait a few seconds, plug it in, wait about 30 seconds, proceed with trolling.

If dial up: select disconnect, call your mom (if you aren't a basement dweller), tell your mom that you need to return to World of Warcraft, hang up, turn up computer speaker volume, shit eggs, dial up, go to 12chan/CP, go get lube, fap to the thumbnails as they trickle in, ????, Partyvan!

However, at some point some genius found out that simply pressing Z or R twice will instantly reveal a barrel roll. Alternatively, Ctrl + W can induce barrel rolls. Although you may have heard such a thing, putting a cock that is longer than 12" in your ass will NOT make you do a barrel roll, although sending pictures of the attempt would be a great source of lulz and maybe ruin your life, since you will become a buttsecks-loving fag, and you will then be remembered forever as an hero.

Hold onto the fuselage of a military jet ala Tony Stark; Make sure hands aren't greasy from fapping to robo-pr0n, this is a common mistake.

Press Z or R twice!

Drink a lot then get in a car. WARNING - May cause brain damage and/or death.

????

Do a barrel roll!

While you are in outer space, flying high for the Marcab Confederacy remember that a barrel roll will save your life and deflect all lazors from depleting your lulz shield.

Diogenes of Sinope

The city was under siege. Everyone was busy fortifying the walls - some were carrying stones, and others were tasked with patching the walls. The remaining individuals were busy building battlements. Diogenes, not wanting to appear idle while everyone around him was working so frantically, diligently rolled his barrel back and forth along the battlements. The city fell.