Psg

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PSG (born Mark Hinge, August 11th, 1980 - August 14 2007) was an emo wannabe hacker with delusions of grandeur, despite the fact he could not actually hack. On August 14, 2007 he finally fell victim to a combination of AIDS, cutting and ZF0-induced pwnage.

Early Life

File:H&K PSG.jpg

PSG. pic unrelated

Growing up homosexual wasn't easy for PSG - He constantly craved hugs, and no one seemed to oblige. Growing up on the rough streets of Ealing, where any day could be the day one is raped by a badger. Some say that it was around this time PSG was bought his first computer, though most people believe it was much later.

He apparently also used the handle "|PaRiS|", though we can't figure out how one gets such a long nick (or the blue text) on IRC.

The Syndicate of London

In "that leet year" (hereafter referred to as 1992), PSG started The Syndicate of London. What SoL did, no one actually knows, beyond putting out several zines that no one actually read. This went on for over a decade, before PSG teamed up with Cronus and started a hacker website called Whitedust.

Whitedust

Shortly after starting Whitedust, the two brothers realized that they didn't actually know any hackers and needed a way to fake it. They began regurgitating other content, as well as making stuff up. This didn't attract the kind of attention that brings the ad-sense bucks, so they began a guerrilla campaign of getting slashdotted and putting the genius marketing tool MySpace to work for them. It was around this time that PSG decided it was acceptable to write a Wikipedia entry about himself.

After a while, Whitedust began to attract the attention of real hackers upset that they'd been had and the lulz ensued. Apparently one group after another took turns tea-bagging Whitedust's lame technology.

Whitedust spawned Hakspace, a project derived from the notion that if MySpace was somehow different that hackers would use it for a reason other than destroying lives. This website was very quickly pwnt due to it running on shitty software.

It was around this time that the Cult of the Dead Cow's ninja strike force inducted PSG into their group. This was because he's exactly like them, a no-talent mediawhore who is very good at being a no-talent mediawhore.

Hakspace/WD came back up, and after getting pwned by a plucky young group known as ZF0 (that's a zero, the zero's for "owned") PSG and Cronus decided to try and fuck the bear that mauled them. They posted an inflammatory post on Hakspace, informing people of how stupid ZF0 allegedly were for thinking that they're the only people to have pwned Whitedust. It was all a grand laugh, but the world's "leading independent security portal" didn't notice several backdoors in their own website, and further ass-busting pwnage ensued. We're talking pwnage that'll make your grandkids that aren't even born yet turn Emo.

Public Humiliation

Smug in the knowledge that he and Cronus had thoroughly pwned ZF0 by pretending to be an underground hacker group that pwned themselves (huh?), Whitedust went about it's business for around two weeks. Then, Last Thursday ZF0 brought out the big guns. They went through each and every account PSG had, and dug up all the dirt they could find. This included lulzworthy comments posted on hakspace, such as the posts made by almost everyone to resident "jailbait" xjessicax and other faggotry. They also dug up personal emails and myspace messages, detailing PSG's apparent inability to satisfy his girlfriend sexually, all the while moonlighting with several gentlemen.

On August 14th, PSG and Cronus decided to become an hero together, locked in a lovers' embrace in the backseat of a Vauxhall Velox while the carbon monoxide fumes filled their lungs. Or maybe it was AIDS, I forget.