GovTeen

Original site logo. Creepy.

Govteen is a website and forum geared towards teenagers, most of whom are gay. The website was originally founded by Sam and Carol; who for various reasons, (such as being too old,) left the website and relinquished control of it to a bumbling group of administrators, who clumsily run the site to this day. All the staff are, of course, fat.

The most popular forum category on the website is Puberty 101. This is a sanctuary for confused young boys to confide and wallow in their love of penis and taking it up the ass. Naturally, such members admantly defend that they are completely straight, although this may be due to the fact that many who frequent the site are bipolar and consequently, are liars. As seen here, the forum is rife with trolls and people stupid enough to fall for them, resulting in much lulz. It is highly recommended that you inform the community of your zany and outlandish sex stories, as this will award you great respect from the community. Picture trading and cam soliciting is mandatory, along with putting the size of your penis in your signature.

It is known that at least one of the global moderators is a faggot.

There is an ever going war in Govteen between the Religious(Simon) and Athiests etc.(Everone else). Simon is pathetically failing. Although Simon is extremely devout and religious, he openly admitted to the sickness of faggtory and his love to the cock that he's desperately fighting.

Puberty 101

This piece of shit forum is filled with horny prepubescent teens that like to suck cock. Upon entering this pathetic forum, you will encounter threads that are filled with stupid. You will facepalm yourself Over 9000 times due to its stupidity. With Such names as Taste and Super Boys survey, you know that the kid with the six pack who posted is really a morbidly obese 42 year old pedo fapping off to every single post.

Actual Forums

In Govteen Forums, their is not just only Pedo's, Cum Gargiling and Needle Dick brained children who are slowly being attacked by a cyber predator, but also other stuff. There are the communities, Hobbies and Interests, Discussion and Debate and other pointless shit that Pedophiles scroll past to get some action. In Communities there is the most useless dried cumstain of a forum only used by fat, ugly, lonely nerds who masturbate to Katy Perry in a hoop skirt. This is the Countdown forum, often frequented by nobodies like James and Ewan. Hobbies and Interests is where techno whores and Music sluts gather to have a massive gay blood orgy of tubas and floppy disks. Debates and discussions (with its 1 member a day) is mostly used for debate among Christfags and the spawn of Superhell: Atheists. And the afore mentioned Simon (who is also spawn of Superhell) . And with frequent appearances from the Emotionless, psychopathic robot who eats dead fetuses: Aelius.

Anyone who enters these forums should watch out for the Notorious JaVaN, a blackie chan artist who's art looks like a 7 year old kid with down syndrome wiped his fecal matter on the wall. Also be on the lookout for Redundancy, a closeted fag who will rape you on sight. Look out for Taedium also, he's a whiny bitch and he will kindly beg you of gradually giving your savings until your stock portfolio looks like ground zero.

Winning Govteen

The main aim of Govteen is to rack up as many posts as you can, as quickly as possible. This can be achieved by posting every fourty-five seconds, for as long as you can stay awake, every day. Govteen uses an advanced system of "post count faces" to indicate those who are elite. If you are not elite, your opinion is irrelevant.

You win Govteen when you have the most posts. Currently, this member who holds claim to this feat is Christian, who made his way to fame by encouraging teenagers to masturbate. However, an up and coming "straight" male currently going by the name of Eevee (though he likes to change it constantly) is spamming his way to the win.

Presently, the act of hacking the forum is discouraged, and doing so will likely result in Govdeath.

To be worth anything a Govteen you need to do one of Five things

1: Rack up 10,000 posts as fast as possible, by asking other pedo’s posing as teenagers with six packs to wank off with you, or ask about penis.

2: Suck James dick, anyone who does that automatically becomes a Global Mod.

3: Do the Goatse on Cam for anyone of the staff.

4: Do anything else on Cam or picture trade for any of the staff, Ewan is readily available at all times. Autoerotic Exfixiation gives you 100 bonus posts.

5: Delete system 32.

Notable Members/ex-members (At least to them)

James- Administrator, well known to be fucking most og the guys on the forums, bans those who refuse! Also hates members who want the site to get better, if you don't think he is god, then GTFO Austen- A well known spammer and probable pic trader who was most likely in bed with James for the entiraty of his time (before being banned). Claimed to be 18, but seemed to spend hours and hours simply posting shit, for YEARS before being banned. Mark (currently I'm Done)- Wanna-be Austen who is constently reassorting that he is, indeed, not a faggot. Started a whole hissy fit back when Austen was banned, told James he was done sleeping with him, and stormed out, "leaving". He has continued to come back fairly regurally though. Luka- 16 Y.O who was once a mod, but then posted PrOn (which is a complete ban, despite the fact that 99.9% of the users already watch porn hourly), and continues to come back time and time again, always announcing his return.

External Links

• Govteen forums