Juliana Wetmore

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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ. BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.

Juliana can only dream of looking this good.

When most parents have a baby, they spend months dreaming about what their bundle of joy will look like. Will she look like Mom? Will she have Dad's eyes? His mother's nose? Her aunt's cheekbones? For one local Navy family, however, the birth of their daughter didn't give them the answers to those questions. Their daughter Juliana was born without a face. Her birth defect is called Treacher Collins Syndrome. Doctors say it's the worst case they've ever seen. She has cost the taxpayers three million dollars for surgeries and heroic life-saving measures, something that undoubtedly would enrage Hitler. Little Juliana is missing 30-40 percent of the bones in her face, so she can't bite down if you decide to rape her in the mouth, if for some reason you would want to stick your dick into a face that looks like it has been through a garbage disposal.

Every ugly bitch has a hot sister.

Juliana's Rise to Stardom

Image macros featuring Juliana have been floating around the Internets for at least 100 years, but only recently has she reached stardom after being featured on a SomethingAwful article. While most parents would hide such a monstrosity away, eventually locking it in the basement like Boo Radley, the Wetmores are proud to show off their child who should be hidden in a fursuit or a burka, and they have their own website REDIRECTS HITS FROM ED TO FBI LOL. Use this link instead. Also, beware of party vans!

Invasions

It is common knowledge that /b/tards lack any conscience whatsoever, so it follows that they'd pounce on such a prime opportunity to lol at the poor, unfortunate, attention-whoring parents of Juliana. What better method than to simply rock up on a Saturday night, feeling all right, and spam the shit out of the guestbook? Anonymous decided that they needed to lend some moral support to the poor family, and they cast Anonymous aside like a bastard son.

Rage

One enraged /b/tard who was repressing his anger or his negative emotions wrote a lovely story on /b/ about his supposed experience with Wetmore. A few reposts were made, but it didn't take off. The story goes like this:

"I was alone with Juliana, and I pulled out my baseball bat and chased her into a corner. As Treachtards cannot scream or make any kind of noise or communication apart from sign language, I knew that she was pretty fucked. Tapping the bat on my palm, I grinned manically at her, and I think she might have looked at me in horror, but it was hard to tell. Advancing upon the helpless freak, I quickly charged forward, bellowing a horrible war cry, and swung the bat across her head. CRUNCH! POP! SPLAT! It was amazing. The crunch was the impact of the raw force of my bat smashing into her head, and the pop was the noise of her brain flying through the hole I had made on the other side of her head. It splattered against the wall. I pick it up and shove pieces of it in her dead eyes. I then have every Treacher Collins mongoloid cloned several hundred times, and I start a wonderfully successful band where the only instruments are the varying sounds of people smashing Treacher Collins kids' heads with bats. With the harmonic popping of brains and smashing of skulls, it was quite an achievement in the world of music. After the clones all died, we captured the original Treachers (making sure not to kill them, but indeed abuse them heavily, they are freaks of human nature and deserve to be thrown aside like wounded cattle) and went on a manhunt, trying to capture every single Treacher in the entire world. We were ultimately successful. The world is now pure.

And then I woke up. I screamed in anger. It was then that I lost the Game."

- An anonymous /b/tard.

STFU

As anyone who has gone to the Juliana Wetmore site knows, Mommy and Nurse Jeanne like to write little journal entries about Juliana and how she is such an awesome gift from God...and about her scores of surgeries. Apparently, Mrs. Wetmore prefers to expose every intimate detail of her little mutant's life to the world, rather than protect her from it. She is getting an enormous amount of attention and self-fulfillment from doing so, and probably has Munchhausen's by proxy herself. What a bitch.

From Mrs. Wetmore's Journal, Jul. 31, 2008:

"...Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about some very exciting news about Juliana. She has recently been able to start wearing her speaking valve on her trach. This is so exciting for us. The valve is one way, so she can take air in through it, but has to push the air out past her vocal cords. This enables her to "talk". Sometimes it is awesome, and sometimes I just pluck it off when I want her to hush. When she has it on she is so loud! We have waited five years for this..."

It is apparent that Mrs. Wetmore is just doing this for the lulz, and she didn't want her "gift from God" to have a mind of its own.

Wetmore II: Electric Boogaloo

From Juliana's webpage (http://julianawetmore.net/journal.php?wid=2): December 31, 2008 10:40 PM

"Okay, now for the announcement which has my heart bursting with joy. Are you ready for this? We will have a new addition in the Wetmore family!

No, it's not what you think. I am very done giving birth! We are in the process of adopting a beautiful little girl. She will fit in perfectly in our home. She too has Treacher-Collins Syndrome. Obviously, her case is not nearly as complex as Juliana's. She does not even have a trach or a feeding tube. She will need hearing aid implants, but other than that it seems from her pictures that anything else will be merely cosmetic. We won't know for sure, of course, until we go to her country to meet her and finalize the adoption.

This is an international adoption, so the process takes much more time than a domestic one. The process is very slow and mainly consists of waiting on documents and other people which is where we are now, just waiting on the Dept. of Homeland Security to complete their part of our paperwork." (Later, we find out that they are adopting from the Ukraine, home of Chernobyl, which couldn't be a coincidence, could it?)

You read that correctly. Not content with one fucked-up baby, the Wetmores have decided to bring in some FAS baby from vodka-pickled, radiation-burned Ukraine for their freakshow. What purpose could this possibly have? Perhaps they want Juliana to have a beauty-impaired sister to feel comfortable around. Maybe they're creating the greatest cock-blocking team in the world.

"I suppose I had better end this now and get the mermaid (aka Juliana) out of the bathtub. When she recovers a bit more from this surgery, I will post new pics."

It's hard to understand why she has to recover from her latest surgery for Mrs. Wetmore to post more pictures. It isn't as if those used to the face of the beast would be put off by scars, swelling, and bandages.

Wetmore III: Five Kids And Counting

Not satisfied with another fucked-up 'tard from the Ukraine, whose mother was no doubt a drunken whore with hepatitis and GRIDS, the Wetmores have adopted two more children from "distant" family members, an infant and a toddler. Nurse Jeanne wrote in her blog, "Nurse Jeanne's Journey" on March 13, 2010:

Juliana's future as a furry whore.

"A lot has changed for Juliana this past year. She has three more sisters! It used to be Juliana and her big sister Kendra. Then there started to be talk of a sister far away in the Ukraine. The "wallpaper" on the computer screen showed a bashful little girl in a red dress with mild Treacher Collins facial features, which Juliana would look at and sign "my sister". zOMG How kawaii!

But as the complicated adoption process dragged on, an unexpected situation presented itself. Two little girls of a distant relative (ages 1 and 3) needed a home. The Wetmores accepted responsibility and obtained custody, still determined to bring home the child from the Ukraine. It was more complicated and difficult than they imagined, but they did it. Now there are five girls! —Kendra, Juliana, Danica, Keira, and Allie. You can go to First Coast News, do a search for Juliana Wetmore, and watch the short news segments about Juliana and her family."

Gallery

Juliana Wetmore/Treacher Collins Gallery About missing Pics

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  NO EXCEPTIONS!
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  I couldn't agree moar.
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  LOOK GUYZ, SHE'S GOT TEETHS NOW!!~*
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  For Chrissake, why can't they sew that fucking tongue to the bottom of her mouth? It's disgusting.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Fixing the guestbook problem wont fix that abomination of a face.
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  When your baby comes out looking like a fucking pink turtle, you have already failed as a parent.
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  I see a huge resemblance to Lord Voldemort here. :-O
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  ¯\(º_o)/¯
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  Juliana and her meth mouth.
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  HAI KAZARI MAS
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  You're takin' a bite out the wrong end, babe...
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  ...and its number is 616.
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  Dad looks on, dreaming of the days before his life was a fucking disaster.
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  Here she is attempting to get struck by lightning and end the comedy that is her existence.
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  Why didn't you let me die? WHY?
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  Brb, going to the Moon.
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  Whatchu bitches want from a nigga?
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  Twins!
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  Irony No, that's the sad part. She has a completely normal brain.
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  Looks like someone got here first!
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  Playing Transformers with a Dora the Fagtard backpack!
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  Now what the fuck is that? :-s
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  JESUS CHRIST, IT'S A...um, er...GET IN THE CAR!
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  >:( No face detected.
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  What happened to her cookies?
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  Apparently, passing kindergarten garners all the aplomb of a full graduation ceremony.
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  Iz dat sum camel toe?
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  liek omg Beast and the Beauty.
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  Her biological father.
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  Congratulations, little mutant, that giraffe now has cancer because it saw you.

See Also

• Brian Peppers
• Chin-chan
• Rocky Dennis
• Abortion
• Warhammer
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Juliana would seem like a perfect memeber of The Gatherers

External Links

• The little bugger's official website. REDIRECTS TO THE FBI, LOL. Type julianawetmore.net in your address bar yourself!
• A Buddhist wonders what Juliana did in her past life to deserve her looks, mini-shitstorm ensues.
• A website on various craniofacial deformities.
• Treacher Collins at TOW.